RE: Master wants a threesome...

RE: Master wants a threesome... (Full Version)

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sexyred1 -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/19/2013 8:32:37 PM)
I agree and was wondering how old "Master" is. You are 19, cute and a sub. You don't need to put up with any crap you are not comfortable with, seriously.

Kana -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 3:00:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alic3 My Master and I have just begun our journey together. I am hoping to work up to being his collared slave, however I believe he wants other things. Master is older than me, and has never had a threesome. All I want to do is make him happy, no matter what it is... but I don't think this is something I can do for him. My track records with 'threesomes' haven't been all that great. My ex cheated on me with the girl we had a threesome with. She had been my best friend, but betrayed me. The other times I have had one were all horrible experiences, and I just don't want to do it again. I am afraid to be hurt again and although Master tells me everything will be okay, I can't shake that feeling in the pit of my stomach and the pain in my heart. I want nothing more than to make Master happy. When I told him I don't think I wanted it, he became upset with me. I have a lot of feelings for Master, but is there a way to have a romantic D/s relationship? Or should I just suck it up and make him happy? I'm in a dilemma... Build a solid relationship. Then, when the foundation is strong, that's when you discuss bringing in another. But until then, work on being a strong "We." That's the very best experience I can give.

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 6:20:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alic3 My Master and I have just begun our journey together. I am hoping to work up to being his collared slave, however I believe he wants other things. Master is older than me, and has never had a threesome. All I want to do is make him happy, no matter what it is... but I don't think this is something I can do for him. My track records with 'threesomes' haven't been all that great. My ex cheated on me with the girl we had a threesome with. She had been my best friend, but betrayed me. The other times I have had one were all horrible experiences, and I just don't want to do it again. I am afraid to be hurt again and although Master tells me everything will be okay, I can't shake that feeling in the pit of my stomach and the pain in my heart. I want nothing more than to make Master happy. When I told him I don't think I wanted it, he became upset with me. I have a lot of feelings for Master, but is there a way to have a romantic D/s relationship? Or should I just suck it up and make him happy? I'm in a dilemma... Sweety...I just reviewed your photos. You are a fucking candy store. Look in the mirror and repeat after me...."I.....can.....have.....any....thing.....I....want". Say it about 30 times and then tell this guy to go fuck himself. Not because he may be the wrong guy for you but because....you're too gawdamned young to be worried about whether or not you're enough. Fuck him. (Then consider the possibility that your deepest desires will likely be best filled by being with an older, balding guy that was at one time taller than he is now). You'll make the right decision.

theRose4U -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 8:39:25 PM)
Geeze nookie, up until that last part I was thinking you had your new girl & were getting greedy

GotSteel -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 8:40:19 PM)
Have you explained the issue to him? Because I don't want to and I'm traumatized are two very different things. Also in the event that you do happen to decide to have a threesome at some point in the future, please remember that having a casual one off sort of threesome with the best friend is a terrible plan.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 9:02:37 PM)
"D/s ends where insanity begins" and it is insane to engage in a relationship that damages the body or the mental/emotional health. Someone who cares about you isn't going to ask you to do so. You have every responsibility (to yourself) to make sure that you are not damaged by relationships in the aforementioned manners. You cannot be of value to someone else if you allow yourself to be torn apart emotionally. That being said, I would advise that you do some deep soul-searching and see if your objection has more to do with possession? For the sake of "Truth in advertising": Yes, I am polyamorous so my views are going to be skewed that way. You have found a man that you care enough for; that you respect enough that you have decided to submit to him. Fan-fuckin'-tastic! That's terrific. Have you given yourself to him or have you taken ownership of his member? In my view, we are bashed with monogamy from the time we're born to the detriment of quite a few things. To me, monogamous relationships always seemed like conditional "love" (I don't believe love is conditional); "I love you ... as long as you don't fuck anyone else". Yes, since we've been indoctrinated to monogamy, this seems like a reasonable statement to most but, I think it's as silly as: "I love you ... as long as you give up watching baseball" or: "I love you ... as long as you convert to (insert religious faith, here)". People are who they are and you're with a guy that wants to have a threesome. There's two ways to look at it: 1) Ooooops! I fucked up. I'm with the wrong guy B) Ooooops! I fucked up. he won't be the person I want him to be. Either way, you fucked up. Peace and comfort, Michael

theRose4U -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 9:15:36 PM)
I don't know that this is so much an issue of "fucked up" as it is too much, too soon with a baggage chaser. She drug the issue into new relationship, disclosure seems to be a question mark & whoops sorry master no can do...you didn't ask limits & didn't disclose. My vote is a kink friendly therapist, a healthy portion of self esteem & figuring out who you are & what you need before playing chippy to any more old dudes...even if some day you decide you enjoy 3 somes.

descrite -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 9:38:53 PM)
Yeah, here's the funny thing: nobody has considered the possiblity that the absence of threesomes/multiples is a hard limit for him. OP can decide she doesn't want him, but forcing him to toe her line is just as ridiculous as him forcing her to toe his...except, of course, he's the dom. She gave something to previous lovers that she won't give to him? She made poor choices in the past that led her to prevent him from fulfilling his own fantasies? She promised him a level of performance she wasn't actually willing to provide, and he returned by being open and trusting with his requirements, only to have her go crying to a public forum for advice? He trusts her but she won't trust him? Golly, Esteemed Assembly, you sure are right: he did hit the jackpot. Or a minefield of lifelong disappointment and passive-aggressive control issues. I don't know if she's better off without him, but he sure might do better without her...at least he might have the opportunity to find another partner, and achieve something he's wanted but no previous partner has been willing to give him. Yes, the Laffer Curve works in her favor. That is no reason that he should settle for someone not willing to provide those things he needs. It was that kind of thinking that convinced prior generations of women to forego sexual satisfaction, career development, and/or personal advancement for the sake of putting up with whatever guy would offer them babies and a stable income. OP, I hope you figure out whether or not you want to really please this man, or whether you just want solely what you want, and intend to compromise his happiness for the sake of your own. If you are looking for someone who doesn't want threesomes, or any other hard limit, let them know in advance, before getting that person involved with you romantically. It's not fair to string a guy along with the promise (implied or explicit) of something you are not actually willing to provide. Be honest and up front: I am sure someone will want to buy what you're selling; you shouldn't have to disguise it in a wrapper that advertises something else.

Missokyst -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 10:32:01 PM)
Weird. I read that she told him she didn't think she could do it. I read that she has had experience in the past with that and it didn't end well. I read that she told him that. He didn't like it. And apparently they discussed it in depth later. I did not read anything like you present below. Projecting? quote: ORIGINAL: descrite Yeah, here's the funny thing: nobody has considered the possiblity that the absence of threesomes/multiples is a hard limit for him. OP can decide she doesn't want him, but forcing him to toe her line is just as ridiculous as him forcing her to toe his...except, of course, he's the dom. She gave something to previous lovers that she won't give to him? She made poor choices in the past that led her to prevent him from fulfilling his own fantasies? She promised him a level of performance she wasn't actually willing to provide, and he returned by being open and trusting with his requirements, only to have her go crying to a public forum for advice? He trusts her but she won't trust him? Golly, Esteemed Assembly, you sure are right: he did hit the jackpot. Or a minefield of lifelong disappointment and passive-aggressive control issues. I don't know if she's better off without him, but he sure might do better without her...at least he might have the opportunity to find another partner, and achieve something he's wanted but no previous partner has been willing to give him. Yes, the Laffer Curve works in her favor. That is no reason that he should settle for someone not willing to provide those things he needs. It was that kind of thinking that convinced prior generations of women to forego sexual satisfaction, career development, and/or personal advancement for the sake of putting up with whatever guy would offer them babies and a stable income. OP, I hope you figure out whether or not you want to really please this man, or whether you just want solely what you want, and intend to compromise his happiness for the sake of your own. If you are looking for someone who doesn't want threesomes, or any other hard limit, let them know in advance, before getting that person involved with you romantically. It's not fair to string a guy along with the promise (implied or explicit) of something you are not actually willing to provide. Be honest and up front: I am sure someone will want to buy what you're selling; you shouldn't have to disguise it in a wrapper that advertises something else.

HoldinOn -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 10:56:59 PM)
"I love you ... as long as you don't fuck anyone else." From a monogamous perspective, I don't think that is a fair statement at all. The love doesn't go away with him fuckinging someone else. The pain felt, the tears shed, and the struggle in trying to decide how to deal with it are evidence of that. What is gone is the trust.

descrite -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 11:07:01 PM)
quote: The love doesn't go away with him fuckinging someone else. The pain felt, the tears shed, and the struggle in trying to decide how to deal with it are evidence of that. What is gone is the trust. Wanna switch love to hate rather quickly? Remove the trust.

DaddySatyr -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 11:15:15 PM)
"The love doesn't go away with him fuckinging someone else. The pain felt, the tears shed, and the struggle in trying to decide how to deal with it are evidence of that. What is gone is the trust." Interesting take but, not exactly what I was meaning. Obviously, whenever there's dishonesty, there's going to be a loss of trust. That's a no-brainer. No, what I meant was the *demand* that monogamy makes. People that are monogamous, whether they say the words I typed or not, are making that demand and treating love in just that way; conditionally. And that's fine. People can believe that love is conditional. I don't. So, I am not speaking about someone being dishonest. I am speaking about the condition that is put on loving someone. If I love someone, it's (choose your words;) in spite of/because of/notwithstanding all their foibles and "failures". Peace and comfort, Michael

littlewonder -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/20/2013 11:27:55 PM)
meh..if being monogamous means I'm demanding, I'm pretty ok with that. And yes I do believe love is conditional. I can think of many many many things that would make my love go away from people, even my own child.

LafayetteLady -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/21/2013 12:34:26 AM)
You need to decide do you want monogamy? If you do, regardless of how DaddySatyr put it, there is nothing wrong with it. So what if monogamy is conditional? If you aren't sure, then for the moment, I would say that you should stick on the monogamous end of the pool. Doing otherwise when you aren't sure you are ok with it is setting yourself up for being hurt. Now descrite says it poorly, making it seem like you have done something wrong (you haven't), but he does have a point. If you choose monogamy as something important to you, it is unfair to be with someone who chooses to be poly. Likewise, it is unfair of someone who chooses poly to ask a monogamous person to accept it. Being the s-type doesn't mean you can't have things you "demand" in a relationship. You still have the right to "demand" someone who is faithful to you (if that is what you choose), you have the right to "demand" that someone be in your age range (if that is what you choose). Often, young subs like you will find themselves with dominants who tell them that because they are the sub, they must simply accept what their dominant demands. The reality is that you don't. Of course, that will typically end the relationship. However, a smart young woman such as yourself has an obligation to herself. Prior to getting into a D/s relationship with someone, you must have those difficult conversations where you say, "I only want monogamy," "I don't do threesomes," and whatever other things you have decided that you don't want or aren't ready for at this time. Sometimes this will make you incompatible with someone you really wish it wouldn't, but there is always someone else. I'm glad that you spoke with him, and that he understands. However, just based on what you have said, don't be surprised if he brings this up again very soon. At that time, you need to make a decision. Are you prepared to stick with this guy who is going to bring this issue up every month or so, or is it better to end the relationship? He has the right to want his fantasy, but always remember, that you have every right and obligation to protect yourself from harm whether it be physical or emotional. By the way, it sounds like these threesomes in the past were things that the boys you were with pressured you into doing. It seems that by coming here and asking, you have learned that perhaps letting someone pressure you like that is wrong. That's a good thing.

ClassAct2006 -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/21/2013 1:18:50 AM)
It is something people need to discuss.What sort of three some - two men and you? You have not agreed as far as we know that you will not be monogamous. It is something everyone should discuss. It can be risky. It can be emotionally risky as you found when your ex went off your friend who was ni the 3 some with you. It can also be risky if you have much to lose like career and children if the new partner isn't safe, isn't confidential with your information etc etc. Perhaps he needs to read about some threes somes. Apparently they aren't always that great, nice fantasy for some but not so good in practice.

wittynamehere -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/21/2013 1:37:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Alic3 Master wants a threesome... I'm in a dilemma... I don't see the dilemma. Is this man your "Master", or is that just a pet name you call him? If he's really your master, then you have the same choice you have EVERY time he tells you to do something - obey or leave.

LadyPact -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/21/2013 2:01:47 AM)
Am I the only one thinking that before a term like "Master" is being thrown around, maybe these kinds of discussions should have come up? Yeah. Shoot Me. It's a rhetorical question. I know I take some subjects more seriously than other people, but what happened to the concept of determining compatibility? If a person has a kink/lifestyle that they can't live without, shouldn't that have come up before it became a problem? If a person has something as a hard limit, shouldn't that be mentioned somewhere along the way? Granted, I'm actually more in favor with s-types putting things on the hard limit list if they aren't sure they can handle something yet. Even if they think that maybe, down the line, when a sincere trust has been established, it might be something that they can come to. Call them soft limits over time if you prefer. Not in the beginning of the dynamic? I don't care. Pick a term. See, if I don't have to have that activity as part of a dynamic, I don't have a problem with kink X being taken off of the table. If I wasn't aware that kink X wasn't something that you were able to engage in, but I expected you to obey because I didn't have that information? Damn! We've got a problem. By the time that somebody is calling Me Mistress, without a qualifying name, Master, or Owner somebody had better realize the level of obedience that I expect from them, giving Me the opportunity to decide if I am willing to accept their hard limits, and if those activities are something that I'm willing to forgo for that person. Otherwise, I really am going to expect you to obey.

master4bornslv -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/21/2013 2:21:37 AM)
What is this some mamby pamby vanila site? For chist sake this sub/slave has suposedly comitted itself to serving a Master. It has done multiple three ways before with others in the past by its own admission. And no where does it try to say that there was any mention of discussion and/or agreement to a limit against three ways when it committing itself to its Master. But now it is too good to submit to doing it again with some one that it's Master chooses to because it doent want to? that is Bull shit! Most of those who talk like they agree with the slave not doing what it's Master desires sound like they want the slave for themselves, with them talking about how cute the slave is, how itis sweat and is such eye candy and is so young, and old the Master is old. None of those things has a thing to do with ther fact that this cute, sweet, young slave volentarily chose to commit to serving this Master and is now refusing to obey his decision to try a three way to see if He likes it. If this sub/slave believed it was too cute, sweet or young to do what the Master wants it should not have committed to serve this Master. But it did commit itself to serve this Master and did not try to set a limit conserning not doing this service before committing itself to serve Him. The only issue should be that the slave suposedly committed to serve the Master who simply wants the slave to do something that ithe sub/slave has done before and did not seek to set as a limit before commiting itslef to this Master. I have to wonder who this sub/slave thinks is the Dominant in this relationship, the slave who thinks it has the right to deny its Master a simple desire that was never set as a limit , Or the Master who wants a simple service the sub/slave has given to others before? Clearly this sub/slave is in the wrong, and should comply with what is'e Master has told it that He wants!

absolutchocolat -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/21/2013 3:11:32 AM)
S-types DO have choices...obedience or bowing out. The OP doesn't want X and her "Master" (and I definitely use that term loosely) wants to force a round peg in a square hole. Clearly, they need to reevaluate things or cut ties. He sounds like one of those weal twue Doms that challenge you by making you push your limits so he can get his jollies and run. That said, I have to agree with those of you who question the sanity of the OP. When I talk to potential play partners, I ensure our kinks line up. If he can't live without needle play or CBT, I know we are not compatible. If he is not into worshipping my feet or pegging, it's a no go. OP, explore your wants and needs before commiting to servitude. Self-awareness will serve you well in the long run.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Master wants a threesome... (2/21/2013 5:08:11 AM)
FR: One male two females has to be the single most popular male fantasy, so it's no big surprise that many male D-types seek to make this fantasy a reality. As with all fantasies that you attempt to turn into reality, there are pitfalls along the way, and chief among them is the real possibility of inflicting serious emotional or physical damage. A 'good' dominant does a careful risk assessment before attempting to turn a fantasy into reality. Given the OP's past, it's my opinion the risk of emotional damage would be too great. Evidently her 'master' agrees, as they talked and 'he understands now. ' Welcome to the forums, Alic, please stick around !! Your ability to take the advise you asked for and make it work for you speaks volumes about your maturity level. Can we keep her, please please ??

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