Need some advice on work place abuse (Full Version)

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erieangel -> Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 2:40:05 PM)

Many of you know that I work residential for a mental health agency. And some of you might remember that I have complained in the past to my supervisor about being verbally abused by my clients. Last summer one young man was evicted from the program for such behavior. Two days ago a young man not only verbally abused but he was punching his fist into a table directly in front in a manner that literally made me scared me for my own safety. I phoned my boss but he said he could not talk; I left work 10 minutes later. My boss did not address the behavior with the young man until the next morning. When talking to my boss yesterday prior to my shift, I was told that the young man was going to apologize to me. While it was an apology I had no intention of accepting because the language he used has become habitual, it did not come. Today, we had a "house meeting" and I gave the young every opportunity to take some responsibility for what he had done and said the other day. Instead, he said that he'd noticed that lately I'm always telling them when to "clean their rooms, when and how to load the dishwasher and do their chores...blah, blah, blah..." Basically, he was complaining about me doing my job.

Anyway, I think I jettisoned my job by telling my boss, who was at the meeting, that I couldn't work in such an abusive environment. I told him that the surroundings have become too abusive for me. That I not only feel uncomfortable, but afraid for my safety, because if somebody is going to punch a table three feet from where I am sitting, it wouldn't be long before that person takes a swing at me. I told him I need to be transferred out of that position immediately. And then I walked out. The more I've thought about it, the more I've come to the conclusion that by expecting me to work in that abusive environment, my supervisor is not only condoning such abuse, but he is also abusing me.

My boss called a couple hours after I left and told me that the young man in question was apologetic about his behavior after I'd left. But he doesn't respect me enough to take responsibility to my face and I told my boss that is a big part of the problem--he doesn't respect women. Most of the guys don't. My boss also said he doesn't know how soon he can get a transfer, or if he can get me transfer, because the agency is undergoing a lot of structural and administrative changes right now--hence the reason I think I may have jettisoned my job. And then there is the issue that I don't really want a transfer. I really do love what I am doing. And why should I have to leave my job because one kid with his head up his ass decides he has a right to be abusive without suffering any consequences--like eviction from the program? Evidently, my boss isn't prepared to evict this particular young man at this time.




OsideGirl -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 2:57:38 PM)

I would say speak to a lawyer about hostile workplace environment and see what they say.



erieangel -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 3:09:19 PM)

I've thought about filing a complaint with OSHA, but not sure what, if anything they can do.


BTW: In it's 50 year history, my agency has never had an OSHA complaint.



Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 3:28:12 PM)

So the people who are mentally disabled are the problem? I am not sure what you can do besides find another job. Some people have violence as apart of their disability and there is not much that can be done especially if they are already medicated.



Kirata -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 4:20:58 PM)


Just offhand, it occurs to me that one thing you might do is consider your post in light of what it says on your avatar. Too, I don't see any indication of you having given a moment's thought to whether or not there might be something in what the fellow says.

Are you maybe being a bit over-controlling?

quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

if somebody is going to punch a table three feet from where I am sitting, it wouldn't be long before that person takes a swing at me

That is your fear talking. It isn't a carved-in-stone fact. But you may be able to provoke it, if you refuse to take responsibility for your part in this. I don't know what that part is, but if the offender isn't reacting to a hallucination, then he's reacting to you.

K.



erieangel -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 4:21:01 PM)

Yes the people who are mentally disabled are the problem. Being mental ill doesn't give anybody the right to be verbally abusive. Hell, given today's funding climate, being mentally ill doesn't even give any my clients the right to be "in program", it is a privilege that too many simply use and abuse for the cheap rent and other amenities and then complain when they have to meet program requirements--like 6 hours a week of working on treatment plan goals; which if they don't do, the agency doesn't get paid by the insurance company to pay their bills to keep the program open.

I have been telling my boss for months about the name calling and verbal abuse and gotten stuff back like "make love, not war" and "remember, you're working with teenagers" (they're 18-21 years old mostly, granted but still, they want to be treated like adults). The agency has pressed charges against clients who have threatened staff in the community, but I am expected to take the abuse simply because of their age?

I raised a mentally ill son and never felt threatened by him. I was also in an abusive marriage, so I know very much what abuse looks like, so I'm at all blowing anything out of proportion. And I also have bipolar disorder, so I can relate to how people with a mental illness can often have trouble with anger control. Threatening behavior, intimidation and verbal abuse have nothing to do with anger control. That kind of behavior also has nothing to do with having a mental illness.




Kirata -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 4:25:40 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

so I'm at all blowing anything out of proportion.

You forgot the "not" in that sentence.

K.



Lucifyre -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 4:29:30 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

That kind of behavior also has nothing to do with having a mental illness.




I call bullshit.
No ones disability is the same, you cannot for one second expect every single one of those kids to act the same as your kid or even you do.

quote:


privilege that too many simply use and abuse for the cheap rent and other amenities and then complain when they have to meet


that line right there tells me you're in the wrong field. find a new job



Notsweet -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 4:41:19 PM)

I suspect that the people here who are being tough on the OP haven't worked in the field. Is violent behavior or intimidation is how some of your clients came to be in the facility?

And yes, if he's punching the table three feet away, it's a threat. You said he had problems with women. Does he have problems with other women who work in the facility? Have you had problems with other clients in the facility?

I'm certain you've documented everything, including your discussions with your supervisor. You might want to ask for a meeting with his supervisor, but if you do, and it's not well received, or if you have any other problems there, or if you're a short-timer, then it's probably writing a resignation.

If you want to keep the job, I would suggest that you discuss with a senior counselor some coping mechanisms that YOU can use.



angelikaJ -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 4:54:45 PM)

There are too many things that I find to be inaccurate about your perceptions to address them point by point.

I worked in a place where being physically assaulted was always a possibility and being called a Cunt was a daily occurrence.

The main issue was that when staff reacted to that word, it just guaranteed more of the same.
Ignore it and it stopped.
Often ignoring "undesirable behaviors" was what we were instructed to do.
It was in their behavior plan and more often than not they worked.
Positive reinforcement also worked and that was also in the behavior plan.

They should have behavior plans (or something similar) where you work.
The behavioral goals should be outlined.
Implementation guidelines are given.
The consequences should be detailed.

Are the behavior plans being followed?
Since you are there for them, that should be your main concern.

Some types of mental illness interfere with impulse control to varying degrees, small and great.
You should (and probably do) know that, as well as how it might impact anger issues.
You can not expect everyone to be as well behaved as your son is; for one thing they did not all have you as a parent.

If you like the job, then perhaps you could find a position in another agency in which there is less of the verbal stuff you are especially sensitive to.

edit: clarity



Baroana -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 4:59:41 PM)

The general rule is that if you don't like your job, that's just tough for you.

Does your employer have any legal duty to protect you from verbal abuse by customers/clients? Possibly, but I doubt it.

On the bright side, there may indeed be violations of OSHA regs and/or other laws that are in place to protect you from harm. I definitely recommend that you visit the web pages of the appropriate state and federal authorities.



absolutchocolat -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 5:07:28 PM)

Both of my parents worked in facilities with the mentally ill, and honestly you have to develop a thick skin against the verbal abuse. As for physical threats (at least to you), depending on whether said person aimed at you or not, you have to suck that up as well. As someone who struggles with mental issues, why would you want to work in a field that could trigger things for yourself? Could that be the case as well?

Having grown up around alcoholics, I would never EVER work in a bar. See what I mean? The drunken behaviors would take me back to the traumas in my childhood and teen years.



MommySparkles -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 5:10:58 PM)

I don't usually post, but I have something to say on the matter. As a teenager, I worked with my then aunt at a school for autistic children. Some of them yes were violent. They simply could not help that because part of their brain was functioning improperly. This they cannot help. So honestly to the OP stop complaining. Its not up to you to decide if "they have a right to be like that." Some simply cannot help it and if I were your boss I would have promptly dismissed you since anyone with a shred of common sense knows if you work for the mentally ill violence may be a part of the things you must deal with. If I were this "young man" I wouldn't apologize to you either. If you don't like your job then simply quit. Stop making life harder for these people who have it difficult anyway.



Moonlightmaddnes -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 5:26:18 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana


Does your employer have any legal duty to protect you from verbal abuse by customers/clients? Possibly, but I doubt it.





My husband is dept manager of a home improvement store and comes across people who think they know what they are talking about and get in his face when he tries to tell them the correct way to do things. His boss cannot go around making everyone who is shopping be nice, in fact he is the one that is expected to be polite even when being verbally assaulted. He pretty much shrugs and says I tried to tell them you can't do that. You will burn your house down. They want to do things their way, fine go for it.

The only thing upper management has ever taken up is sexual harassment. One of his asst managers had a guy coming in asking for her then bringing up sex and tried to touch and had even waited for her to get off of work so he could follow her to her car. She complained to my husband and he took her to HR where they said if he ever comes in grab your manager and he will make sure the man is escorted out of the store, and my husband and another co worker walked her to her car every evening.

So I would say unless they are touching you, there is not a lot they will do.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 5:28:05 PM)

Someone getting violent to a table is not a threat to you unless you make it so. Evidently you need to.

Ergo, you are in the wrong job.

To do your job, you have to be intuitive and instinctive about what *really* constitutes a threat. Nothing from your posts tells me you are capable of making these types of distinctions.

Please move on, not just for your sake.





erieangel -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 5:29:09 PM)

I am the only woman who works in the facility. I am the only staff other than my supervisor. As I stated in my OP, I had one other client who behaved toward me in a similar manner last summer and he was eventually evicted from the program. That guy had even spent a night in jail after picking a verbal fight with a city cop over something that happened away from the facility.

I'll probably end up taking a transfer out of the program. I'll pretty much do the same work, but in the community, with a wider variety of people, have a larger caseload (right now, I have only 6 clients). It will mean harder work, especially considering that I have mobility issues that make it difficult, but not impossible, for me to get around in the winter. I'll have to infest some time and considerable money into physical therapy I'd imagine to make it work.

A transfer isn't what I want, but I think that's my only option at this point.



ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 5:33:07 PM)

Okay, nothing you added makes me want to change my answer. Working with the mentally is is not 'work place abuse.' It's working with the mentally ill. Mentally ill people do not always act appropriately, what about that don't you get?

Your boss can not always 'make' mentally ill people act appropriately.

Nothing in your statements on this thread tells me you care ANYTHING about anyone except you. Yet you choose to work with this population.

Shame on you.




Lynnxz -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 6:02:27 PM)

FR: Get another job. You are in the WRONG ONE. Your post makes me think you have not had nearly enough training in working with the mentally ill. There is a point where you have to back off, everyone needs their space, and some certainly more than others.

I've been slapped, spit upon, bitten, screamed at, cursed at, and had one lovely person try to shank me. I've taken none of it personally, filed no charges. The more extreme behaviors have resulted in a trip to the behavioral health unit for some med management- but you can't take anything personally- most of these people cannot manage their own behavior, which is why they have to put up with me.

Get a new job, or get some serious training under your belt before you go back to work.



Kirata -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 6:06:22 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

I suspect that the people here who are being tough on the OP haven't worked in the field.

Well you're wrong, so abandon the notion that you know better. The "problem" isn't with the client, it's with the interaction. And ignoring that fact is part of what's causing it.

K.



Lynnxz -> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse (2/20/2013 6:24:08 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

I suspect that the people here who are being tough on the OP haven't worked in the field. Is violent behavior or intimidation is how some of your clients came to be in the facility?




Actually it looks to be the other way around.



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