RE: Need some advice on work place abuse

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 5:57:38 PM

Moonlightmaddnes

Posts: 958
Joined: 6/4/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

The OP suffered from no physical violence. She is upset because he banged his fist on a table (only a threat to you and her) and the client used profanity that she found offensive, the profanity being the bulk of her issue. So while there are books and books of regs, most of them have to do with what the facility must offer the patients, along with the training necessary for the employees. Honestly, it would seem any violations might be that the OP has not been properly trained.

That happened in my house almost every day when I was growing up. I had no idea I was abused because my family would bang on the table and cuss at even us kids.

_____________________________

Submission is a gift that must be earned. It can be given, but never taken

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 61

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 6:20:54 PM

Notsweet

Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

In a regular house, those things happen.

In a facility where people are supposed to be working on mental health issues, it is not acceptable in a single place I've seen or heard of.

(in reply to Moonlightmaddnes)

Post #: 62

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 6:36:17 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

It's part of their issues that the staff, like the op, is supposed to be helping them with.

Manifestly this is not a locked down facility for violent offenders because she's already stated that one kid was expelled from the program last year. And that doesn't happen in a locked facility.

My oldest interned in a place like this for at risk adolescents during college. She got the same shit. But she could shut it down because she isn't hypersensitive to any anger the way the op is.

The op interprets a raised voice as abuse and interprets hitting a table as an expressed threat of hitting her. She did not report that this kid said he was going to hit her, the misinterpretations of these actions are her problem.

I'm sorry that she has these problems left from a previous relationship but they are her issues and worse, they are preventing her from helping these kids.

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 2/21/2013 6:44:31 PM >

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Notsweet)

Post #: 63

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 6:58:35 PM

Notsweet

Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

I understand what you're saying. Thing is, if there's repetition of this type of behavior, it needs to be addressed by staff.
Now, I think that the OP needs more training. One of my professors believed that in order to be an ethical therapist, one had to also be in therapy. I kind of believe that myself. And I hope that the OP (who has disappeared on us, apparently) gets some sort of support for her own issues.
But that doesn't mean that appropriate behavior isn't part of the patient's (or client's) contract--and by contract, I mean the treatment plan agreed upon by patient and therapist. And cursing and banging your fist on the table are not socially appropriate behaviors.

I'm not seeing it as an OSHA or EEOC type thing. I'm seeing it as the supervisor overlooking a part of treatment. That's not ok.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 64

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 7:01:56 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline

Yup. Exactly, some times when I was feeling un stable, what the staff did or didn't do could escalate or de escalate things just like that. We had one staff who loved to provoke those who were already unstable, so it was no wonder she would have the most problems with clients expressing their rage against her.

I'm not saying we had no responcbility to own our rage, but when provocoked people in a rage are not logical all the time.

quote:

.but what has served me well in all these years is keeping in mind that 90% of my interactions with others all hinged on my reaction to what was being done. There are always going to be unknown factors that can happen do to the unpredictability of the population you work with, but you do have to keep in mind that the people you work with may not always be able to control the way they act sometimes. We can expect people to act a certain way as much as we want, but the reality is that there may not be a way they have the ability to be able to act the way we want them to.

_____________________________

One world under lube with vibrators and dildo's for all! quote from the sex toy 101 book

(in reply to SeekingTrinity)

Post #: 65

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 8:30:39 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Yes those people are there to be helped with their issues but do you really expect them to be fixed that same day, that week, that month, that year?????

Yeah, they're going to throw stuff, bite, hit, pound on tables.....until they have worked through their problem, if that ever happens. It doesn't always happen. Sometimes the mental issue is too bad to be fixed except maybe to dope them up 24/7 and that...that is just sad to see. I saw it in my daughter and it just about killed me to see her that way.

I'm just finding it difficult to imagine someone in such a place who is getting upset over a patient hitting a table or anything else for that matter. That's why they are there!

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 66

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 8:34:16 PM

Notsweet

Posts: 873
Joined: 6/11/2006
Status: offline

Not saying they need to change in a day, but the supervisor has to address it IMMEDIATELY, each and every time.
I still can't imagine how in the world she's in a facility with 6 residents by herself. I've never, ever seen that.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 67

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 8:40:48 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I don't think she mentioned she was by herself did she? She said she's the only female there but I'm thinking there is probably at least one other person on duty with her.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Notsweet)

Post #: 68

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/21/2013 10:12:13 PM

erieangel

Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline

Thanks for all of the replies throughout the day. A quick update.

I met with my supervisor and his supervisor this afternoon. I told them both that I really don't want a transfer but that the situation at the "Lodge" which is what we call the house where I work has become intolerable for me lately. I enjoy working with that age group and think that I am good at it. They both agreed though the head boss did say that she sees where I am a little bit deficient in one domain area of psych rehab. I response my supervisor said that to be fair the psych rehab workers who work in the community are assigned clients according to what they are good at. If a client wants to find a part time job, that client is assigned a particular worker; one who needs to learn to maintain a house, do laundry or learn how to cook is assigned somebody else; and somebody who needs to learn social skills is assigned somebody else. There are 5 domains in psych rehab and I am "a little bit deficient" in just 1 of them.

As to the issues that occurred earlier this week; after meeting with the supervisors at the main agency, we all headed to "Lodge" to meet with young man in question. He was told that calling me vile names will not be tolerated and one more time will be cause for dismissal. He was also told that any show of violence will be cause for the same. The nature of our program does not allow for such behavior. However, I can also expect to be disciplined for walking off the job this week. I told both of the supervisors that I will accept the write up for Wednesday. Walking out on Wednesday was unprofessional. But on Monday evening, leaving was clearly the only way to diffuse the situation. At the time when he went off on me, I was actually trying to work with another client and I tried to redirect the guys attention, tried to calm him. We are an independent living facility based on the Fairweather Lodge model so a lot of the common solutions used in treatment facilities aren't available to me. I even tried to ignore the guy...but he just kept going and going. And after 10 minutes of being yelled at I finally called my supervisor and after we got off phone, the guy told me that making that phone call was "pretty low". That statement was followed by another 10 minutes of verbal abuse before I left.

Something interesting happened about 2 hours after the supervisors left the Lodge. I was talking with the young man in question and he made a comment about some complaints he'd brought to the program director a few months ago. Those complaints came at a time when I was going through a relapse and decided I needed to get back into treatment and back on medication because I'd been off medication but stable for over 3 years. He mentioned that as soon as I started back on medication I was like a different person, not as emotional as I had been until this week. I thought about that for a little while and then called the program director to let her know what he said to me and that I felt like given that statement I felt like his complaint was changing from "I'm too emotional" to "I'm always telling him what to do and how to do it".

BTW: Telling the guys in that house what to do and usually how to do it is a large part of my job description. They are there to learn at least one but for most of them all of the 5 domains of psych rehab (living skills, education, work, health, social) In fact one of the requirements of even being accepted to live at the Lodge is that the guys pursue work or an education. And some are doing both--work and education, after all, they have rent and other bills to pay while they go to school. Most do work part time and rent is incredibly low (less than $100 a month) and several go to school part time. In fact, we've even had high school students who did half days. It's nothing remarkable in the grand scheme of things, but it is for them and it meets the requirement.

I explained all of that so that everybody who said I should look for a different would have a better of the nature of the program for which I work. I don't work in a mental health facility as most people picture the typical mental health facility. There are expectations of the guys who are let into the program, expectations of behavior and expectations of outcomes. There is also an incredibly long waiting list. We have room for only 6 people at a time and a deep reluctance on the part of my agency to expand the program due to a reluctance on the part of clients in that age group to meet many of the expectations--especially the expectation to meet with staff for 6 hours per week to work on domain goals laid out in the treatment plan. And that problem isn't only at the Lodge but it is seen within psych rehab by everybody working with clients of that age group. Many want help when they want help and don't want it when they find better things to do.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

Post #: 69

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 12:59:32 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I will grant you that you think you are trying to help her, regardless of the fact that what you said certainly isn't applicable to the situation, so it is irrelevant.

As for what I'm doing, I'm actually dealing with what her REAL options are in the situation.

And it is you on your high horse telling someone that they need not respond to you, because you weren't addressing them. You have certainly been here long enough to know that if you post, even when "addressing" one person in particular, your comments are open to response from all posters.

So if you want to be sure that no one responds to you that you haven't addressed, send her a private message.

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 70

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 1:03:05 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

I'm sorry that you went through that Moonlight, but this is not a family home. What qualifies as abuse in a family home will not necessarily be the same in a mental health program.

(in reply to Moonlightmaddnes)

Post #: 71

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 1:10:00 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Notsweet

I understand what you're saying. Thing is, if there's repetition of this type of behavior, it needs to be addressed by staff.
Now, I think that the OP needs more training. One of my professors believed that in order to be an ethical therapist, one had to also be in therapy. I kind of believe that myself. And I hope that the OP (who has disappeared on us, apparently) gets some sort of support for her own issues.
But that doesn't mean that appropriate behavior isn't part of the patient's (or client's) contract--and by contract, I mean the treatment plan agreed upon by patient and therapist. And cursing and banging your fist on the table are not socially appropriate behaviors.

I'm not seeing it as an OSHA or EEOC type thing. I'm seeing it as the supervisor overlooking a part of treatment. That's not ok.

Yes, but from the OP's post, she reported it to her supervisor and it was handled, as the young man was supposed to apologize to her. Now I understand that he didn't do that, but I also understand that the OP was not privy to the discussion between her supervisor and this young man, so she really doesn't know how it was handled, does she?

And I'm sure the OP hasn't disappeared, she is a long time poster, so she didn't go "poof" or flounce off.

(in reply to Notsweet)

Post #: 72

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 1:24:37 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

Thanks for the update erie.

One thing you should recognize. You are bi-polar, which means you can't go off your meds. When you are doing well, they can possibly be reduced, but medication is really something you have to accept will be part of your life. You know that being bi-polar is chemical, so while you may have been stable for three years, you will never be able to go without medication, or you shoudn't.

As for what the young man said to you....this young man was trying to tell you something, and you are failing to accept what he says. Yes, your job is partly to tell him what to do and how to do it, but it seems he was trying to let you know that the way you were doing it, especially off your meds was inappropriate to him. He gave you a wonderful opportunity to discuss that while you were off your meds, you may have behaved in a way that they aren't used to, and while you are sorry for that, his reaction was still inappropriate.

(in reply to erieangel)

Post #: 73

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 8:57:40 AM

mons

Posts: 2400
Joined: 11/16/2005
Status: offline

I have worked more then 20 years with special needs teenager and children!

Many of you are wrong, she is threaten by a member who has no right to speak, or
come near her in any manner!

No she is not in the wrong job, there are people, then there are the ones whom are voilent will carry out the threats!

She is not new so she knows what she is doing! This young man is anger, and the next step is a punch in the face!

This young man did not just become this way over night, if someone were to look back at his record of his stay there or anywhere,
it would show a pattern of abuse towards women!

Have some common sense here, there is a law no matter where we work we are to have protection, we should be able to take
this up with the the supervisor above us and "he should handle it accordingly not later but when it happens!

I had a seven years old child "kick my ass" yes she was violent but not she could not help herself she could not stand to be touch, as in a hug by
any women due the the acts of her mother!

She had to be placed in a special home of children who could not be control under normal classroom activities !

So in the end everyone this woman needs advice not judgement and correction from many of you have not been in the same situation, each mentally ill person
has a different area in their minds to deal with , and no I was not anger at this "child"!

so give something to help her!

mons (Op get advice from a lawyer) I worked with a mentally ill teacher and wow , do not do as I did, write everything down, whatever it is! Good luck dear

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 74

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 9:18:00 AM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

I will grant you that you think you are trying to help her, regardless of the fact that what you said certainly isn't applicable to the situation, so it is irrelevant

So telling her where she can go to get advice and help is irrelevant? What have you told her that is useful? Do you really know her job description...duties...protocol…rules and regulations?

I do believe in your own way you think you are helping…and you may be but why get on me when I am doing the same. I happen to think you are over stepping the bounds of help into useless criticism when you do not know the facts. I don’t claim to know her job but I do know where she can get good solid advice that will mean something to her and or her employer.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 75

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 11:00:30 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: kdsub

quote:

I will grant you that you think you are trying to help her, regardless of the fact that what you said certainly isn't applicable to the situation, so it is irrelevant

So telling her where she can go to get advice and help is irrelevant? What have you told her that is useful? Do you really know her job description...duties...protocol…rules and regulations?

I do believe in your own way you think you are helping…and you may be but why get on me when I am doing the same. I happen to think you are over stepping the bounds of help into useless criticism when you do not know the facts. I don’t claim to know her job but I do know where she can get good solid advice that will mean something to her and or her employer.

Butch

Actually, no the EEOC is not "good solid advice" and no, they couldn't help her with this issue.

She has given us a general idea of her job description, so yes, we do know what it is. Also, many of us have experience with the mentally ill, so we do know how these things are handled.

(in reply to kdsub)

Post #: 76

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 11:24:30 AM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

I have worked more then 20 years with special needs teenager and children!

Many of you are wrong, she is threaten by a member who has no right to speak, or
come near her in any manner!

Exactly how was she threatened? This young man had "no right to speak?" Surely you must be joking.

quote:

No she is not in the wrong job, there are people, then there are the ones whom are voilent will carry out the threats!

She is not new so she knows what she is doing! This young man is anger, and the next step is a punch in the face!

This young man did not just become this way over night, if someone were to look back at his record of his stay there or anywhere,
it would show a pattern of abuse towards women!

You are really reaching here. Actually, I don't think the OP is in the wrong job, but I do think that her having been off her meds and the effect that had on her stability had a lot to do with what was going on.

The whole idea that his record will show a pattern of abuse towards women is completely baseless.

quote:

Have some common sense here, there is a law no matter where we work we are to have protection, we should be able to take
this up with the the supervisor above us and "he should handle it accordingly not later but when it happens!

"Protection" has varied levels, and her job has a certain degree of assumed risk. She reported it to her supervisor who DID handle it right away (given that they weren't there at the time, but handled it as soon as they arrived).

Just because you or the OP doesn't like the way it was handled, doesn't mean it wasn't handled in an appropriate manner.

quote:

I had a seven years old child "kick my ass" yes she was violent but not she could not help herself she could not stand to be touch, as in a hug by
any women due the the acts of her mother!

She had to be placed in a special home of children who could not be control under normal classroom activities !

But apparently your experience and training didn't keep you from trying to touch her anyway, right?

quote:

So in the end everyone this woman needs advice not judgement and correction from many of you have not been in the same situation, each mentally ill person
has a different area in their minds to deal with , and no I was not anger at this "child"!

so give something to help her!

We did give her advice. Part of that advice was advising her that perhaps she needed to re-evaluate her position, since she is very sensitive, and these things are likely to continue to happen. Is that critical? Yes. But it is also something the OP needed to hear. She also needed to hear that going off her meds (stable for 3 years or not) was a bad idea

quote:

mons (Op get advice from a lawyer) I worked with a mentally ill teacher and wow , do not do as I did, write everything down, whatever it is! Good luck dear

I have no idea what that even says. I don't even normally read your posts because they are always very garbled and difficult to comprehend. I realize you say you have a learning disability, however, so do many people on this site who manage to communicate effectively. Of course, they also take their time and go over their posts, which makes a difference.

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 77

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 11:53:39 AM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kirata

Just offhand, it occurs to me that one thing you might do is consider your post in light of what it says on your avatar. Too, I don't see any indication of you having given a moment's thought to whether or not there might be something in what the fellow says.

Are you maybe being a bit over-controlling?

quote:

ORIGINAL: erieangel

if somebody is going to punch a table three feet from where I am sitting, it wouldn't be long before that person takes a swing at me

That is your fear talking. It isn't a carved-in-stone fact. But you may be able to provoke it, if you refuse to take responsibility for your part in this. I don't know what that part is, but if the offender isn't reacting to a hallucination, then he's reacting to you.

K.

Having worked in that field myself and working in general in the field of social care/work since 15 years, I can only second that....as our teacher loved to say "every behaviour makes sense"...now...it might not make sense to you, but it makes perfect sense for the person who is displaying it....so it is about figuring out why he is acting how he does....

When I worked in the UK in the mental health residential care unit I did mainly night shifts (visually on my own with about 30 tenants but if emergency would have occured I would have had 2 sleep-in staff on side, so not totally alone) and can well imagine your feelings about such a situations.....I had moments myself where I was glad (at some moments) when I was behind doors where none of them could follow me and was able to just wait a moment until they calmed down again and fall asleep at a different part of the building...and once they saw me and woke up again they had forgotten about their outburst before or were not bothered anymore to get annoyed again about it....however....in my case I left that place due to the cockroach problem in that building....and not because of the residents there....as those tiny bugs seriously freaked me out more than their outbursts....but thats just me...

anyhow, on another note I do know how it feels like to be run down at times as I also had client fields as well as employers which I enjoyed more than others....and your post sounds to me as if it might be worth to take a break in that field and to recharge your batteries with different clients.....thats just how it feels to me....

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 2/22/2013 12:25:33 PM >

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to Kirata)

Post #: 78

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 12:23:03 PM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mons

Many of you are wrong, she is threaten by a member who has no right to speak, or come near her in any manner!

So you are saying that a person in a mental health facility has no right to speak??? really???

quote:

She is not new so she knows what she is doing! This young man is anger, and the next step is a punch in the face!

This young man did not just become this way over night, if someone were to look back at his record of his stay there or anywhere, it would show a pattern of abuse towards women!

Those two sentences are purely your assumption....not more and not less....

I worked with many challenging clients and many of them were banging their fists on doors and wherever else....but that does not mean that they would have ever hit another person....

quote:

So in the end everyone this woman needs advice not judgement and correction from many of you have not been in the same situation, each mentally ill person
has a different area in their minds to deal with , and no I was not anger at this "child"!

again...your assumption

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to mons)

Post #: 79

RE: Need some advice on work place abuse - 2/22/2013 3:23:12 PM

kdsub

Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

Actually, no the EEOC is not "good solid advice" and no, they couldn't help her with this issue

I would ask ...you know why?... or your personal expertise is?... But I see she is satisfied with the resolution of her problem so there is no use in continuing on this silly you know more than me…I know more than you… tit for tat.

Glad to read she sees a way forward.

Butch

< Message edited by kdsub -- 2/22/2013 3:24:48 PM >

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 80

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Need some advice on work place abuse

Page: << < prev 1 2 3 [4] 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.109