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How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/20/2013 9:39:20 PM

goodblueboy

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I am not sure if there is any simple answer to this question? but let me ask it any way.

Assuming that you do not want to ask directly, is there any way to find out if someone is interested in femdom? Lets say you are dating a colleague or someone that you are not comfortable to talk explicitly about your interest in femdom. Has anyone came up with a clever idea to implicitly check her/him interest in BDSM (femdom specifically)? This is a question for both men and women.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/20/2013 10:51:05 PM

theRose4U

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If you're dating someone, that implies sex at some point. Why would you sleep with someone you can't ask a simple question of?

ETA if you're dating a co-worker you have a whole different set of problems. The least of which being shitting where you sleep where sex, personal & professional lives can all be damaged because you couldn't find a piece of ass outside the company pool

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/20/2013 10:53:45 PM

littlewonder

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Talk to them and get to know them as a person? Personally I've never gone around asking people. Instead I just get to know them and see if we're attracted to one another on normal people levels.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/20/2013 10:57:07 PM

goodblueboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Talk to them and get to know them as a person? Personally I've never gone around asking people. Instead I just get to know them and see if we're attracted to one another on normal people levels.

quote:

Talk to them and get to know them as a person? Personally I've never gone around asking people. Instead I just get to know them and see if we're attracted to one another on normal people levels.

Thanks littlewonder for the advice. I was just searching the web and few other people had similar opinion in their blog post.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/20/2013 11:02:49 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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quote:

ORIGINAL: theRose4U

If you're dating someone, that implies sex at some point. Why would you sleep with someone you can't ask a simple question of?

ETA if you're dating a co-worker you have a whole different set of problems. The least of which being shitting where you sleep where sex, personal & professional lives can all be damaged because you couldn't find a piece of ass outside the company pool

As I see it, if this person is willing to out you if the relationship doesn't work out, they're not a nice person and there's nothing to stop them spreading malicious lies anyway.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/22/2013 7:00:52 AM

Ptesticlees

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I've never met a guy who didn't want to talk about sex, so, why not just hint?
Women are fantastic at that skill (whereas we men are too blunt sometimes).

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/22/2013 2:54:24 PM

HarryVanWinkle

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I don't look for intimate relationships outside of the BDSM community, in which there is no need to "hint." The only way I'd consider having an intimate relationship with a colleague or co-worker would be if I ran into her at a BDSM community event. Of the three coworkers whom I have seen at community events over the last quarter of a century, two identified as heterosexual men and the other as a lesbian.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/22/2013 3:45:10 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodblueboy

I am not sure if there is any simple answer to this question? but let me ask it any way.

Assuming that you do not want to ask directly, is there any way to find out if someone is interested in femdom? Lets say you are dating a colleague or someone that you are not comfortable to talk explicitly about your interest in femdom. Has anyone came up with a clever idea to implicitly check her/him interest in BDSM (femdom specifically)? This is a question for both men and women.

Yes, but you have to be abrupt.

First date (you): "Hi, my name's Phil...and you are?"

(Her): I'm your worst fucking nightmare, personified. Bitch".

(This is of course, assuming she's vanilla).

(You): "Say, just as conversation...have you ever thought of spanking a guy you've only met once, maybe after you finish your Venti Caffaineta?"

(Her): "You fucking pervert....bend down and give me 20"

(You): "Un Momento....I have a text coming in from another Domme....one second".

And then from there, just see how things feel.....

You'll do the right thing.

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 2/22/2013 3:47:03 PM >

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/24/2013 5:54:07 PM

DesFIP

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Wait until you feel ready to talk about what you like sexually. But if you don't feel capable of talking to them about sex, then you shouldn't be doing it.

And really, how hard is it to say "I prefer pleasing my partner"?

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/24/2013 8:52:09 PM

njlauren

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I agree about the relationship with a coworker, those things are generally fraught for a lot of reasons...

That said, the only way to find out is to ask. There are plenty of ways to introduce her to the subject, there have been plenty of articles about 50 shades of gray and other such books, for example, not a bad way to break the ice. But as others said, what is wrong about talking about sex? And more importantly, do you need to come out immediately and say "I am interested in being the sub to a woman" or something like that..

For example, you guys are going to bed, and say "hey, hon, what do you think of roleplaying? I would love to try having it so I am there to serve you, to have you tell me what you want, how you want it, to let me pamper you, and give you what you need" and build from there. You could also try the more direct approach, and say something like "you know, I really have been wanting to try and find a relationship where I can explore the dynamics between us, where we can explore different things. I would love it to have the relationship more where my partner leads things, instead of me" and if she is intrigued, explain it. There are a ton of ways to do it, there are books on the subject, too (I think greenery press has someone).

And yes, it is possible to do that, happened in my case:). One of the secrets is taking it slow, and explaining the difference between pain (which is stubbing ones toe in the middle of the night going to feed the cat) and sensation (getting flogged or whipped):). Like I said, there is plenty of opportunity to break the ice with everything flying around these days.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/25/2013 6:56:30 AM

sensubmaybe

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I usually lead with this joke:

Guy says to masochist: "Why do you hang out with that sadist?
Masochist: "Beats me!"

If they laugh or give you that certain look...bingo.
If they look at you like you they're waiting for a punch line...leave them, go get in the punch line and hope it's spiked.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/25/2013 7:35:44 AM

subinsilicon

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There are thousands of ways to hint at what you like and want. Use just five of them, and you'll know.

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RE: How do you know if he/she is interested in Femdom? - 2/25/2013 6:36:54 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: goodblueboy

I am not sure if there is any simple answer to this question? but let me ask it any way.

Assuming that you do not want to ask directly, is there any way to find out if someone is interested in femdom? Lets say you are dating a colleague or someone that you are not comfortable to talk explicitly about your interest in femdom. Has anyone came up with a clever idea to implicitly check her/him interest in BDSM (femdom specifically)? This is a question for both men and women.

("Anyway" is one word).

I always ask directly...."Hey....coffee's good isn't it? Say....just as a thought....would you like to spank me? I know we've never met, before just now but....whadya think...spanking...is that a go?"

That's the way I approach chics.

I prefer to be direct.

I feel it's much more personal.

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