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Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:06:06 PM

sinfuldesires23

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As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:10:34 PM

TheLilSquaw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

Do these doms know about each other?
If so, have a discussion with them and find figure out how you want the dynamics to work.

If not figure out what YOU want and start being honest.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:11:02 PM

Toysinbabeland

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Did you ask Them?

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:21:00 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

I would say that none of them are. Or, they all are, just not simultaneously.
How do you define the difference between Dominant and Master?

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:24:19 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

Apparently, you are.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:25:48 PM

DesFIP

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If you're playing with multiple guys, then none of them are dominant over you until you agree that one of them can have control.

Even then, you get to decide what level of control you are willing to give over and what you aren't. If he wants something you don't, then you're not compatible.

So if one guy decides he wants you not to orgasm except with his permission, and you've got a date with a guy who loves forced orgasm, then you decide if you're committing to dude one. At which point you need to tell #2 that you've committed to #1 and that orgasm is off the table. And then #2 decides if he still wants to play with you or not.

If you decide you don't want to commit to dude 1 and him to you, then you tell him you aren't handing over control of anything outside your play meets until such time that you two become exclusive and commit. Or whatever you need and agree on.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:33:32 PM

sinfuldesires23

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

Do these doms know about each other?
If so, have a discussion with them and find figure out how you want the dynamics to work.

If not figure out what YOU want and start being honest.

Yes they know about each other, but its not a group scenario. They just each have limited availability, and if I chose only one, then I would only get to play a couple times a month, rather than a couple times a week :-) I don't think getting them all together would be possible.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:38:45 PM

sinfuldesires23

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quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

I would say that none of them are. Or, they all are, just not simultaneously.
How do you define the difference between Dominant and Master?

Well I believe Masters deserve a larger level of obedience from their subs, something that is greater than play. Whereas Doms are limited to play time only, they have no investment in my life.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:40:59 PM

sinfuldesires23

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

Apparently, you are.

Lol I can be :-)

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:42:27 PM

sinfuldesires23

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Toysinbabeland

Did you ask Them?

No I haven't asked them.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:45:28 PM

OsideGirl

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Master to me is someone that has total control over a submissive's life.

Logistically that means, by default, he'd be in control of your other relationships. I'm sure the other men you're involved with would not be thrilled to have any aspect of their relationship with you controlled by someone else, never mind another man.

So, I would say that none of them are your Master.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:45:51 PM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

I would say that none of them are. Or, they all are, just not simultaneously.
How do you define the difference between Dominant and Master?

Well I believe Masters deserve a larger level of obedience from their subs, something that is greater than play.
Whereas Doms are limited to play time only, they have no investment in my life.

Well, there you go then. According to your own definition, none of the dominant men you are seeing are your Master.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:46:29 PM

kalikshama

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quote:

They just each have limited availability, and if I chose only one, then I would only get to play a couple times a month

I would personally never choose as a master someone with limited availability. Are neither local to you?

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:46:36 PM

TheLilSquaw

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

Do these doms know about each other?
If so, have a discussion with them and find figure out how you want the dynamics to work.

If not figure out what YOU want and start being honest.

Yes they know about each other, but its not a group scenario. They just each have limited availability, and if I chose only one, then I would only get to play a couple times a month, rather than a couple times a week :-) I don't think getting them all together would be possible.

You can have a group / 3 way conversation and all discuss boundaries and expectations.

At the end of the day, you need to speak to them about who is charge and when. We can't answer that.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:46:57 PM

LadyPact

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OP, if you don't know then none of them are. You've basically got a bunch of play partners.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:49:15 PM

ChatteParfaitt

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It sounds like you have three play partners on a casual basis, in which case they are topping you and nobody's master.

If and when one emerges as someone you want to have a deeper relationship with, I assume you'll recognize that, right?

If they are all three vying for control, you must feel like a ping pong ball. I'd tell them to stop, since as long as they're just topping you, you *DO* get to be in charge.

If someone wants to be in charge of me, I need more than a casual I'll see you a couple times a month commitment, you know?

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 1:49:41 PM

littlewonder

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

quote:

ORIGINAL: TheLilSquaw

quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

Do these doms know about each other?
If so, have a discussion with them and find figure out how you want the dynamics to work.

If not figure out what YOU want and start being honest.

Yes they know about each other, but its not a group scenario. They just each have limited availability, and if I chose only one, then I would only get to play a couple times a month, rather than a couple times a week :-) I don't think getting them all together would be possible.

None of them are. You're just doing kinky play. They might only be the "Master" in the bedroom but as far as I can tell that's as far as it extends for any of them.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 2:36:59 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sinfuldesires23

As a sub with multiple Doms, how do I decide who is Master?

Thunderdome. Two doms enter, one dom leaves.

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RE: Who's in charge? - 2/25/2013 3:03:33 PM

sexyred1