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i don't know... - 2/27/2013 5:54:21 PM

breagha

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i'm not sure if this somehow violates da rules.... but i wanted to post to see what people think about this particular situation.

i apologise if it offends anyone.

http://gma.yahoo.com/transgender-triplet-banned-1st-grade-restroom-173907860--abc-news-health.html

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:00:34 PM

Level

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My gut reaction is to side with the school, but I have sympathy for all sides.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:03:22 PM

breagha

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the thing that makes me side with the parents is that MOST ladies rooms are not open stalls. they are private. the only problem i would see with the school would be locker room. if she identifies as being female though... and her fellow students and teachers see it that way as well... then i'm not sure i see an issue. Especially since there have been no known complaints about her using the facility.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:06:50 PM

lmpishlilhellcat

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From what I understand, the school was in the wrong and can't ban her.

I side with the parent's. I think it's just absolutely fabulous that these parents are doing everything they can to support their child. The school reversed their original decision and the parents are worried about the child being bullied. If it were my child, I would probably take the same route.

I can however, see both sides. The article doesn't mention why the school decided to reverse the decision.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:13:19 PM

breagha

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lmpishlilhellcat

From what I understand, the school was in the wrong and can't ban her.

I side with the parent's. I think it's just absolutely fabulous that these parents are doing everything they can to support their child. The school reversed their original decision and the parents are worried about the child being bullied. If it were my child, I would probably take the same route.

I can however, see both sides. The article doesn't mention why the school decided to reverse the decision.

i hadn't seen that the school had reversed its decision, only that they said she could use a single use or the restroom in the nurse's or teacher's lounge.

edited for spelling error

< Message edited by breagha -- 2/27/2013 6:18:15 PM >

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:16:03 PM

Level

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The child may identify as female, but has male genitalia; some folks are going to be mighty unhappy, whichever way it goes.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:19:41 PM

breagha

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at some point yes... but really at this age it shouldn't be a problem. the mother makes a good point when she says that we should be teaching children that different is OK.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:21:56 PM

lmpishlilhellcat

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I read the article somewhere else earlier today. What that article said, was that the school changed their mind and said she could no longer use the girls bathroom. They gave the option that she could use the teacher's bathroom or the one in the nurse's office.
The parent's were concerned with bullies.

This is the article I read http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/transgender-girl-s-parents-sue-for-her-right-to-use-the-bathroom-201415013.html

< Message edited by lmpishlilhellcat -- 2/27/2013 6:22:45 PM >

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:26:27 PM

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quote:

ORIGINAL: breagha

at some point yes... but really at this age it shouldn't be a problem. the mother makes a good point when she says that we should be teaching children that different is OK.

At some point...what if, God forbid, something happens before then; I wouldn't want that on my hands. And they can still teach the kids to appreciate differences.

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Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:33:54 PM

lmpishlilhellcat

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

quote:

ORIGINAL: breagha

at some point yes... but really at this age it shouldn't be a problem. the mother makes a good point when she says that we should be teaching children that different is OK.

At some point...what if, God forbid, something happens before then; I wouldn't want that on my hands. And they can still teach the kids to appreciate differences.

Just playing devil's advocate here, so the school plays the bad guy (which from what I'm understanding they can't legally do) and makes the child use a "special" bathroom. The kids catch wind of it and bullying, harassment starts, or something bad happens. Is it better that something happen as a result of different bathrooms or shared bathrooms?

I mean this really is a no win situation, you were right earlier. Someone is bound to be upset, but I don't think banning the child from the bathroom is going necessarily stop something bad from happening.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:34:15 PM

breagha

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Imp- thank you for the updated article. i hadn't seen that one.

Level- i see your point. i feel that if they won't allow her to use the facility that she is comfortable using then and alternative should ( and has been in this case ? ) be offered.

as far as the bullying goes... there will always be bullies. i don't feel it is something that will ever really go away. Pointing out the differences in people will always find someone that feels the need to attack it. While i applaud the parents for supporting their child in this transition, i feel that any attention drawn to this story will locally bring out the bullies not only for the child but the parents as well.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 6:41:26 PM

littlewonder

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I'm kinda siding with the school. And the parents complaining about bullying probably would have never happened because it was not in the media then. It was a private matter. The parents brought the bullying upon themselves by making it public knowledge. Did they ever stop to think that the moment they made it public, that the child will now not only have bullying from the children but everyone else in the world now also.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 7:13:17 PM

DarkSteven

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1. Every TG I know, has stated that they felt they were the wrong gender beginning around age four or five. So this kid is right on schedule.
2. The school's lawyers blew it big time. They made it clear that this is a boy. Which will needlessly aggravate the parents and will provide a charge of discrimination/insensitivity.
3. This has gone to the point of stupidity now. The school should have sat down with the parents and worked something out quietly before this point. They likely could have restricted Cody to the gender-neutral bathrooms and everyone would have been happy.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 8:49:41 PM

LafayetteLady

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Grade schools don't typically have gender neutral bathrooms.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 8:51:32 PM

SeekingTrinity

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~FRing it~

My daughter and I saw this on the evening news tonight and that was a very interesting conversation to have trying to explain what was going on to a 9 year old who couldnt figure out why a girl couldnt use the girls bathroom at her school.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 9:06:49 PM

Duskypearls

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quote:

ORIGINAL: lmpishlilhellcat

I read the article somewhere else earlier today. What that article said, was that the school changed their mind and said she could no longer use the girls bathroom. They gave the option that she could use the teacher's bathroom or the one in the nurse's office.
The parent's were concerned with bullies.

This is the article I read http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/transgender-girl-s-parents-sue-for-her-right-to-use-the-bathroom-201415013.html

Impish, I like the idea of teacher's or nurses bathroom. No need to let the other little monsters traumatize him/her any earlier than necessary. Knowing how close-minded most folks are, they'll be plenty of time for that later.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 9:08:03 PM

xssve

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Don't they have stalls with doors in women's bathrooms? Christ, send somebody with her, I'm pretty sure the other little girls will be far less traumatized than this girl if she has to use the men's - I mean we're all standing there staring at the wall and whistling.

But if you're wearing skirts, someone is certain to comment.

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RE: i don't know... - 2/27/2013 9:08:52 PM

Duskypearls

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As I recall, there are Native Tribes who exhalt those that walk between both genders, believing they have a balance and perspective others lack. They consider it a good thing. Has the child ovaries as well as testes?

Apparently, this child signed on for a lot this time around. I wish for the smoothest journey possible.

< Message edited by Duskypearls -- 2/27/2013 9:12:23 PM >

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RE: i don't know... - 2/28/2013 12:20:22 AM

DarkSteven

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Duskypearls

As I recall, there are Native Tribes who exhalt those that walk between both genders, believing they have a balance and perspective others lack. They consider it a good thing. Has the child ovaries as well as testes?

Apparently, this child signed on for a lot this time around. I wish for the smoothest journey possible.

Yeah, the Two Spirit Society. I once dated a Native American woman who belonged as she was bi.

Poor kid's gonna have a tough time just living in Fountain, Colorado.

Ever been through there, Dusky?

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RE: i don't know... - 2/28/2013 12:23:56 AM

descrite

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In California, all supervisors must go through 9 hours of HR training. In the state-approved training, it is made clear that the law says the company must recognize an employee's stated choice on gender, to include access to gender-specific restrooms and the use of all pronouns involving the employee.

I asked my HR rep how often an employee is allowed to make that decision (the examples in training specifically included an employee who "changed" orientation during the period of employment). I also asked what I should do if one of my employees decided to be male on Mondays and Wednesdays, female Tuesdays and Thursdays, and neuter on Fridays.

I asked a whole bunch of questions, including what happens if one of my employees complains of a hostile work environment/sexual harassment because of another employee's choice to change genders and thus visit with them in the gender-specific restroom, even if they don't change their genitals.

I asked what would happen if one employee's protected religious icon offends the sexual sensitivities of another employee (see: Saint Sebastian, and some severely kinky BDSM/necrophilia/homosexuality).

HR has yet to get back to me. It's been two years.

I sympathize with HR: I don't think the case law yet exists.

Yet.

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