RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/1/2013 6:17:10 PM

DesFIP

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Personally, it isn't just insertables that squick me. I don't want anything used on me that's been used on someone else. How do I know whose genitals you were flogging yesterday? And you can't autoclave leather.

If there were things I wanted to experience, and I wasn't in a relationship then I would buy those things hoping that when/if I did meet someone, I'd have slowly collected them. It's also easier on the wallet to buy one new item every three months then start a relationship and have to shell out for every item you need.

Beyond that, people do self bondage, hit themselves, put clamps on themselves. If you want to feel these things and don't have a partner, then why not use them on yourself?

< Message edited by DesFIP -- 3/1/2013 6:20:37 PM >

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/2/2013 3:11:36 PM

ServosCor

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As a new sub many years ago, I amassed quite a collection of various implements due to the availability factor and deep discount I could buy them for. I worked in a tack shop, went to horse sales (cheapest place to buy whips, crops, bats, etc) and also was an in home party saleswoman for the Fantasia company. (adult toys, etc). It made sense to me to have a collection on hand for a few reasons:
1. I don't share toys......no way no how.   If it's used on me, it's mine. If it's used on you......I dont care to have it used on me unless thoroughly cleansed of blood, disinfected, etc.   ( I don't trust most folks idea of cleaned).\
  2. When I met the Dom I spent 7 yrs with, I had a nice assortment of whips/crops/toys to start with. We bought many things together. When he left......my toys stayed with me. They hold no memory of "him".   Our dungeon furniture "we" bought together? Destroyed. I wanted no part of him in my new life. ( kinda regreting that thinking now lol....)
3. As I said..........the price was right, why pass up awesome deals?

               While I bought toys and the likes, I wouldnt have considered buying a collar for myself for any reason. I hold that as a very symbolic item to be given by a claiming JDominant.   Just what works for me :)


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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/2/2013 3:34:03 PM

TNDommeK

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I think I agree with Roch on this one. A lot of slaves I know use chastity devices on themselves and have yet to find a domme. I don't know if it is lack of trying, or afraid to put themselves out there, or what. As a pro domme, I have toys that I purchase for sessions. And as a lifestyle domme, I do not buy collars unless it is for a specific person. So I'm kinda both,lol.

Great thread.

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/2/2013 6:23:16 PM

xssve

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Uh, 'cause they feel like it?

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/2/2013 6:28:45 PM

littlewonder

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So for those who buy toys while being single, do you also play casually? If not and you buy them to be used on you or using them on another in a relationship, how do you know you will actually use/get it used on you? I don't know about others but in each of my relationships, I wasn't always interested in the same things as in others and they were not always interested in the same things as me so it would have never gotten used on me.

What happens when that happens? I mean, you've bought a toy now that will just sit and collect dust, unless you also play casually. When you buy that toy, are you expecting it to be used on you by your new partner? What happens if they say no? What if you buy it and the new relationship doesn't have the same feel of wanting it to be used?

I guess it comes down to what type of relationship you are seeking though and if you are a top/bottom/fetishist or sub/slave/domme/dom/Master?

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/2/2013 7:40:40 PM

sexyred1

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I would never use anything that was used by someone else. I only bought items when I was in a relationship.

This is why whenever I see profiles that lead with toys laid out on a bed, it squicks me for multiple reasons.

a. if they were used on others
b. if not, it is creepy to have bought all these things in the hopes of impressing someone.

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/3/2013 6:31:21 AM

ServosCor

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In response to lw, I had the opportunity to get things for next to nothing so ... why pass up a deal?   Many of the items I was able to purchase at great deals ended up being donated to our munch group as 'door prizes'.........we would pick a name at each munch and hand out a gift.   The folks loved 'winning' something.

I might have had 6 of one type of crop....or whip...........yep.... impulse shopper here   :)   if I can buy one and save $$$..... I can save alot more and pass the savings on to various friends who might be wanting the same implement.

I do not and never have played casually..........it's just not in me to do so. I enjoy the relationship immensely outside the bedroom (or playspace) and seek that as much as anything else.



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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/3/2013 12:35:12 PM

littlewonder

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So what do you do with all those toys then? Just collect dust in the closet or under the bed? What happens if you meet someone and it ends up that you both end up never having any interest in all those toys? Yes, it happens. Master and I have tons of toys that we have bought over the years with one another and ya know...I think maybe three or four of almost two cases full of toys, only ever get used.

So I'm always curious what happens with all those toys in the meantime while you're single lol.

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/3/2013 12:59:46 PM

LightningVeins

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Unless you run a business of the kinky sort, I don't see a need to stock up on those sort of things. It would annoy me severely if I had a random collar lying around and no one to attach it to. I know in the future I will claim someone as my own, but in the mean time, having it around only take up space not to mention good toys aren't cheap. Future planning is a noble idea, but in certain instances I rely on immediate action. As much as I like whips, cuffs, collars, and all other assortments of toys, the ones I lust over are usually a pretty penny. Unless I know the the person I choose will make me happy and inspire me, I won't collect. Plus, collecting all those things with no one to use them on is a little depressing. It's like what other people have mentioned about people putting themselves in chastity. Why would you need me when you can do it yourself?

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/3/2013 1:07:51 PM

ServosCor

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Until then my personal items are in semi retirement.... just waiting for the day I will be lucky enough to meet a likeminded man. Some of those hold sentimental meaning as they were gifts from other doms and subs I've met along my way in this life.
I still have a case full of 'virgin' toys in their original boxes that I will one day sell. Those were from the saleswoman days..... display models if you will. I am a pack rat and find it hard to part with anything. lol

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/4/2013 8:22:31 AM

DesFIP

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There are things he's used once and disliked so they just collect dust or get thrown out during the occasional cleaning of the toy bags.

Some of them I had bought, some of them he did. If he doesn't get the response he wants, he tends not to use it again.

Neither one of us spent a lot of money on specialty items.

And some things just sit because he might use them every few years. Candles are in that category here. I love it, he sort of enjoys it. But he doesn't like removing the wax from me and if I'm tied, it ruins the rope. So I'm lucky if they get used every three years. They don't go bad.

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/4/2013 2:32:41 PM

SlightlyScared

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quote:

Why would you need me when you can do it yourself?

In a word: Control.

Playtime when I'm single I'm in control of myself and while there is some fun to be had pretending, its not the same as being at the mercy of someone you trust. Doesn't give anywhere near the same feeling of surrender or release.

So I can do it for myself, sure, but its a pale imitation of being with someone who you can give control to. :-)

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RE: Chastity devices, collars as jewelery, cuffs, etc - 3/4/2013 5:05:56 PM

lovethyself

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-FR-

I'm relatively new to the bdsm culture. I've played with very light kinky sex in the past, but there was no real dynamic involved. I don't have many toys, and those things that I do have are for the most part things that I have used on myself when I was single. Vibe, nipple clamps and the like. I've recently added to my collection, as my Dom and I grow together.

I have a collar. It's not an expensive one (pet store, anyone?). I bought it for myself when I was starting to explore this side of myself. I wanted to know if it was something that spoke to me. I also have issues with breath constriction, so I wanted to see if I could even tolerate having something around my throat. I've worn it with my ex a couple of times during kinky sex (he wasn't a Dom, but was willing to indulge me on occasion). It didnt mean to us what it means to a number of those in the lifestyle.

LadyPact asked in the OP if you would buy a wedding ring if you weren't getting married. But not every ring is a wedding band. I wouldn't buy myself a wedding ring, but I have other rings, cheaper ones, that I wear sometimes because I like to wear them. I sort of view the collar that I bought in the same way. If someone that owned me gave me a collar, that would hold a completely different significance to me than the one I bought for myself to explore in play. It would also probably be much nicer than the dog collar from the pet store.

But that's just me. I don't wear the collar in public. I haven't worn it in years. But I have put it on at home when I wanted to get in touch with and emotionally explore my submissive side. To see how it made me feel. To think about and understand myself better. I know it's not the same thing as having someone at the other end of the leash. But it let me get in touch with my end of the leash, and learn that it was something that I wanted and needed. That's why I first came here. It led me to myself, and acceptance of my desires. Is that so bad?

ETA: As for the rest of the question in the OP, I have made toys while single. Sometimes I've given them as presents to people that I knew in the scene. I made a paddle at work because we were working with maple, and there was a piece of offcut that was just the right size. I'm fortunate to have someone in my life to use it on me, but I would have still made it if I was single. Sometimes it's just that the materials are there, and I don't want to pass up the opportunity to use them. I'm can be cheap sometimes.

< Message edited by lovethyself -- 3/4/2013 5:10:13 PM >

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