RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities.

RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (Full Version)

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LadyPact -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 9:55:01 AM)
How can a person say they have no difficulty in math, yet on past threads lament that they can't make correct change?

needlesandpins -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 10:27:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom Needlesandpins, you need to reread what I said. I never said I have difficulties in math and writing. I said I couldnt understand what the teacher wanted from me when I couldnt get the essay he wanted me to do. I also have trouble with spelling things, grammar, sentance structure and all the technical abilities that comes with tne subject. And if you dont believe that I have atrocious spelling, think back to when I first stsrted posting and I wasnt using a spell check program. Or ask anyone else that remembers. My posts were lousy with mistakes and they were pretty hard to read. I have talked about many times in detail how I have been determined BY QUALIFIED PROFESSIONALS AND TESTING how I am disabled. If you dont want to believe what I havs stated, honestly and plainly, its not my job ,nor will I explain it to you. quote: ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom Yes. Actually, in highschool they put me in regular math classes, even though i clearly told them I do not know how to do math, I don't even have basic math skills and they were putting me in 12th grade math skills, so I finally got them to listen, they put me in special ed math class, that was still to fricken hard for me, and I tried, oh good lord I tried. And finally i chose to take an F in the class and read quietly the whole period. My teachers told me I was faking it, I was lazy, I just wanted them to do the work for me, If I'd put my book down and pay attention I'd understand the subject, that I didn't do my home work and I was a goof off, and that's why I couldn't comprehend the subject. Keep in mind when I transferred from an all special ed school primarily where I wasn't ever expected to do any work, or actually learn anything, i spent most my time as a kindergarten teachers aid, , to a regular school with special ed. I'd never seen any of these classes a day in my life. And they expected me to understand and excel at these classes , when my education levels were non exsistant to 3rd grade, depending on which subject. yes you did TFB, right in this very thread as per above. make your mind up about exactly what your capabilities are and stick to it. unfortunately you are making yourself come over as a dishonest person. fyi i don't read everything you post. on past experience you rarely answer questions directed at you from people that give you real none pandering advice. hence i have no idea what your supposed disability is. you state yourself that even your dad thinks that the authorities would reassess you as actually having nothing wrong with you. i think he has a point. there are lots of people that struggle to read, write, do maths, and comprehend things. i know alot of those people push themselves much harder than you do to better themselves. we see alot of them in these forums too. CP i was abused as a child. now i know we all deal with our own things in our own way, but i delt with all my shit on my own. i had no help from anyone. i didn't even know there was anyone that could help me. i left home at 18 and ran my own life. i do get what you are saying about walking a mile in her shoes, however, past experience shows that TFB only likes the posts that show her sympathy, and that she blaintantly ignores the posts that tell her to get off her backside and actually do something about herself. anything that is pointed at her problems being her responsibility are just ignored. i'd have more sympathy if she actually came into the forums having taken on board what she has been told, and telling us what she has done about it. however, it's always just another thread like this where the best advice is ignored. as LP said, we will all probably be here listening to the same stuff in two years. i've been here for two years and so far nothing has changed with her. needles

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 10:38:17 AM)
Sorry LadyP, most times I look forward to and respect your replies. It's my opinion that you are showing your ignorance in this thread. It's fairly obvious to me TFB has numerous learning disabilities that resulted in her being developmentally disabled. She may well have physical issues (neurological issues in the brain?) I'm not qualified to comment on. I don't know all the details of her past abuse, she could have been shaken as an infant. But trying to explain learning disabilities to someone who doesn't want to believe they exist is futile. From my own experience I know learning disabilities exist, and can be enormously difficult to diagnose, understand, and treat. My now grown son is very learning disabled in some areas. He is also highly intelligent and one of the most brilliant artists alive today (no parental bias there). He was fortunate to have me as a parent; I lobbied to get him tested in the first grade (I had to insist) and educated myself to become an expert in his deficiencies and how to help him compensate. Eventually I became a parent advocate in the Chgo public school system helping others parents with ld kids. Not everyone is so fortunate as to have parents whose prime consideration is helping their children to learn (whatever it takes) while ensuring they keep a high self esteem. The ugly truth is, many many children don't have that, and our limited social services can in no way substitute for good parenting.

KatyLied -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 10:48:09 AM)
If there are real disabilities and referral services that are needed, there have to be better avenues of support for such specialized needs than a bdsm forum.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 10:48:49 AM)
I have difficulty in math. Yes. But she's saying I said I have difficulty in math and writing, and I said no I never said writing AND MATH. Just math. Is what I should have said. quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact How can a person say they have no difficulty in math, yet on past threads lament that they can't make correct change? quote: h, yet on past threads lament

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 10:56:02 AM)
There is child abuse, and there is CHILD ABUSE, that term encompasses a huge range of mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. What is considered abuse now, a parent striking their child for punishment, was accepted and encouraged when I was growing up. And yes, of course she ignores those who tell her to buck up and get on with it. I'm sure she finds those comments quite humiliating. I'm going to put my own disability out there in the hopes you may understand what she is going through. I am ld when it comes to directions. All kinds of directions, from getting to point a to point b, remembering left from right, doing tasks that have a specific order where I can get the directions mixed up. Now, I have high intelligence, did great in school, and find learning new things simple (even at my age). But that I can't remember what the intersection of Main and Park Avenue looks like in this small town I have lived in for nearly 15 years makes me feel like an idiot. Where everyone has info, I have...nothing. My brain refuses to retrieve the information. Imagine what it must feel like to be smart, but when you go to try and do something everyone else can do, you got nothing. You're brain refuses to work the way you know it should. Your parents and teachers don't understand what's wrong with you, and the other kids make fun of you. Can you imagine what is must be like to go through that your whole life? especially if you have multiple disabilities, which are not that uncommon. As for her parents thinking there is nothing wrong with her, that they are who they are is a huge part of her problems. From what I can tell, they have ignored her issues and enabled her in negative ways all her life. She doesn't know how to shop for pities sake. Her mother doesn't' work, the woman can't take her in hand and teach her that? Evidently not -- it would take patience and follow through. Are you beginning to see the issue here?

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:02:48 AM)
I answer honest questions. I ignore Servant For use and a few other posters, most the time yes, because his/ their questions are thinly disguised attempts to get more information to take barbs and pot shots at me. When I answer his questions he comes out with more nasty shit to say. Others say this too, so it's not just me. I have even been told by the mods to ignore him, since they will not do anything about his behavior if it's not breaking any rules. And I do come back and post repeatedly what I have done that I was told to do, this threads one of those instances and people just bitch and moan about here we go again, or why are you asking SSI unless you're trying to scam them, andon and on and on. If I get nothing but attacked for coming back and saying I did this this and this answer me this WHY , WHY ON GODS GREEN EARTH WOULD I come back and go hey every one I did this in responce to being told to. AND YET I DO. Just because you don't see the threads, doesn't mean I do not come in and talk about what I have implemented and what I am enjoying, and what didn't work. in fact when I implement something I have tried these boards are the FIRST PLACE, I go to try to show off what I have done. And do not tell me I do not get picked on or bullied or responded to in a nasty way or that I only say that cause I want ass kissing, when I come try to talk about what I implemented and what I did follow up on, because this thread and other threads alone are proof that the negative Nancies, will come out in droves and say things to put me down or say why don't you just shut up. or similar lines of posts. This thread is proof of that. Servant for use, is proof of that. He loves to flock to any posts I may make in n any thread I make , and says nothing but nasty stuff, and has even resorted to personal insults, which the mods removed. And It's been this thread alone I detail numerous times the emotional, mental, psychical disabilities I have been listed with. You don't have to read everything I write, but I would assume you'd read a little bit of back history in the thread you're in and don't just jump in blindly to demand what disabilities. I don't see disabilities. Yes, I couldn't understand what my teacher wanted. I don't equate that with trouble writing. I equate that with trouble understanding what a teacher wants. quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins yes you did TFB, right in this very thread as per above. make your mind up about exactly what your capabilities are and stick to it. unfortunately you are making yourself come over as a dishonest person. fyi i don't read everything you post. on past experience you rarely answer questions directed at you from people that give you real none pandering advice. hence i have no idea what your supposed disability is. you state yourself that even your dad thinks that the authorities would reassess you as actually having nothing wrong with you. i think he has a point.

calamitysandra -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:16:36 AM)
If I take all that TFB has provided on here over the years, being horribly abused as a toddler, getting into the CPS system a first time, being adopted by obviously less than qualified parents, being subsequently sexually abused as well as being abused by her adoptive parents till she was taken into custody of CPS for a second time. If I look at her living circumstances today, at the level of maturity and at the abilities and deficiencies she displays, I believe that we should be damned happy that she is the way she is. Basically, she is a quite caring and loving individual. With huge problems, yes, but she is not out there actively hurting other people, not continuing the cycle of abuse. And yes, I feel that society damned well owes her. Patience and support first and foremost.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:17:29 AM)
Chatte, they believe something is wrong with me. Whole hardheartedly, but they believe the system is so corrupt, that if I bring attention to myself, the system will use this request for new information as an excuse to in an effort to not have to support one more person than they can get away with cut me off. quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt As for her parents thinking there is nothing wrong with her, that they are who they are is a huge part of her problems. From what I can tell, they have ignored her issues and enabled her in negative ways all her life.

needlesandpins -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:23:21 AM)
i could go into great details about the abuse in my life, sexual, emotional, violent and everything inbetween. so yeah i get it. you don't have to let it be an excuse to not do things for yourself. i had no help, or support. yes it sometimes affects me still now. it did a couple of weeks ago, and it triggers other health problems when it bites me too. i still don't use it as an excuse for anything. i don't have learning difficulties myself other than school was too boring for me so i didn't pay attention. i made up for that in teaching myself what i wanted to learn. however, that doesn't mean i haven't struggled. my son on the other hand sounds very similar to how you talk about yourself. he has had major learning difficulties and i have fought every step of the way to get him what he needs. i've had him in my arms telling my at six years old that he was useless, stupid, an idiot, and everyone hated him because of it so he wanted to die. i had his head mistress tell me that my son was lazy and there was nothing wrong with him so i told her she had no right being in her position and i went over her head. she called my son a liar when we told her of the bullying, so again i went over her head. i got my son statemented, i took him to the dr for tests and referals. i've seen my son explode in temper at not being able to do something, and i've seen him in the depths of dispear too. more importantly though; what i have seen from my son is a will to drive himself to do the things he wants to do. if he wants advice he asks for it. he listens to what people have to say good or bad and takes it because he asked for it. he doesn't ignore something just because it's a tough answer. i've taught autistic children, and adults, those with physical and mental disabilities, and all in between. if they are capable of asking then they are capable of taking the answers that are given. if not then TFB needs to put a disclaimer in her threads stating that she only wants answers in a certain way. however, if she wants real answers to her queries then she needs to start and be more responsible from the get go and take the tougher advice. seriously if she is as bad as people, and herself are giving her credit for then i truely wonder as to whether she should even be on a site like this in the first place. she knows that the people around her are damaged goods, that they do her no good at all, and yet she does nothing to get better people around her. she has proven herself to be lazy in other threads she has started, and again ignores the best of the advice. she also can not seem to make her mind up as to what she is good at, and not. for me, i'm stepping out of this thread, and i doubt that i'll bother with any more that she starts until she starts taking the advice she asks for. needles

erieangel -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:28:28 AM)
TFTB: The first thing you need to do is contact your county office of mental health. Your therapist can only do so much. You also need a case manager (here in PA, we call them Blended Case Managers), a psych rehab worker (that's what I do--somebody to work on the 5 domains living, working, education, socialization and health/wellness with you), and you probably need a representative payee, though I know you don't want one, you will see the benefit of one as your bills start getting paid down and you have more money for the things you need. The social security office can assign a payee to you usually through a social services agency, many of which don't charge. The agency that I am with is owned by the county and it costs the county $500 per year/per client to operate the program. They consider it money well spent. You should also find a therapist at a local mental health agency that accepts medicaid and stop paying out-of-pocket. But you also need the other services because there is only so much that a therapist can do. Getting the further testing if you really feel it might help. Personally, I have become convinced that I also have aspergers but I'm not going to be tested because at my age there isn't anything that can be done about it. As for the naysayers. I spent 15 years on SSI due to bipolar disorder. Even my older sister criticized me because I had dropped out of college when I got sick. She claimed that I threw away my opportunity and she had never had that opportunity--she'd simply chosen a different path and she's now a bank manager and has nothing but a high school diploma. Anyway, it turned out for me that for most of those 15 years I was on the wrong medication, though it was the medication most often used for bipolar disorder--lithium and Prozac. I went off Prozac for a little while because I wanted to try to quit smoking, so the doctor put me on Wellbutrin, but that made me psychotic, so it was back onto Prozac. I didn't know the lithium was giving me problems until right before I was supposed to have surgery and my blood tests came back funky. A series of tests followed, all of which came back negative, before we ever even thought it might be the lithium. My psychiatrist took me off the lithium, tried Lamictal and a week later I felt better than ever. But Lamictal can have a side effect of weight gain and since I'm already overweight I really didn't want to take it, so my doctor put me on Topomax, which worked just as well--it's also not FDA approved for use in treatment of bipolar disorder. When on lithium I thought I'd never really get well, the minor mood swings were as good as it was going to get and not good enough to be a productive member of society. I know a lot of people on social security who purposefully work part time so that their social security payments don't end. And these are people who probably could work full time. When the opportunity for me to work full time came, I jumped at it. I didn't care. Then I found out that my SSI file would remain open for 5 years; it will be closed this August. If at any time during the past 5 years I had found I was unable to remain in my job, I would not have had to reapply for social security. TFTB, find the support system that you need. Those supports are out there. But they aren't going to find you. You have to be pro-active in your own recovery. The county office of mental health should have the information you are looking for.

LadyPact -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:29:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt Sorry LadyP, most times I look forward to and respect your replies. It's my opinion that you are showing your ignorance in this thread. It's fairly obvious to me TFB has numerous learning disabilities that resulted in her being developmentally disabled. She may well have physical issues (neurological issues in the brain?) I'm not qualified to comment on. I don't know all the details of her past abuse, she could have been shaken as an infant. But trying to explain learning disabilities to someone who doesn't want to believe they exist is futile. From my own experience I know learning disabilities exist, and can be enormously difficult to diagnose, understand, and treat. My now grown son is very learning disabled in some areas. He is also highly intelligent and one of the most brilliant artists alive today (no parental bias there). He was fortunate to have me as a parent; I lobbied to get him tested in the first grade (I had to insist) and educated myself to become an expert in his deficiencies and how to help him compensate. Eventually I became a parent advocate in the Chgo public school system helping others parents with ld kids. Not everyone is so fortunate as to have parents whose prime consideration is helping their children to learn (whatever it takes) while ensuring they keep a high self esteem. The ugly truth is, many many children don't have that, and our limited social services can in no way substitute for good parenting. Hey, I saw an inconsistency and pointed it out. TFTB has since confirmed and corrected that inconsistency. That's not Me being ignorant. It's trying to find clarification regarding the learning disabilities that she has. The bolded portions above is part of where the problem lies. These are parents that didn't/don't go to the lengths that they need to when having a special needs child. I don't even have a good way of phrasing the question of asking you if you think these folks did their job, their continuing job, as parents, without insulting your intelligence. I'd be flipping ashamed of Myself had I created this situation or allowed it to continue to occur. At the same time, both (all) of these situations can be true. The learning disabilities, the pathetic job done by the parents and the so-called "daddy", AND she comes here for sympathy and attention because she gets it no where else. (That last part may not be fact, but I'd be damn surprised if it wasn't true.) Can you at least see that this is possible?

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:36:08 AM)
Ye,YOU DID. My parents did NOT. My parents have NEVER EVER fought for me or advocated for me, or gone to the bat FOR ME. Just because you were a great mom, doesn't mean my parents were. They should have been, BUT THEY WERE NOT. And yes sorry for the caps but I am getting a wee bit sick of hearing how great you all were as parents an how you had disabled kids, and how you fought for them, and you'd never let them struggle and get to the point I am a t because that's YOU. That's not my parents. My parents would not fight for me. would not advocate for me, They still today will not support the changes in my life I am trying to and I want to make. They give lipservice to it yes, but then when it comes time to put the rubber to the road, they are no where to be found. They are actively trying to scare me into not trying to get help for crying out loud. quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins my son on the other hand sounds very similar to how you talk about yourself. he has had major learning difficulties and i have fought every step of the way to get him what he needs. i've had him in my arms telling my at six years old that he was useless, stupid, an idiot, and everyone hated him because of it so he wanted to die. i had his head mistress tell me that my son was lazy and there was nothing wrong with him so i told her she had no right being in her position and i went over her head. she called my son a liar when we told her of the bullying, so again i went over her head. i got my son statemented, i took him to the dr for tests and referals. i've seen my son explode in temper at not being able to do something, and i've seen him in the depths of dispear too. more importantly though; what i have seen from my son is a will to drive himself to do the things he wants to do. if he wants advice he asks for it. he listens to what people have to say good or bad and takes it because he asked for it. he doesn't ignore something just because it's a tough answer. i've taught autistic children, and adults, those with physical and mental disabilities, and all in between. if they are capable of asking then they are capable of taking the answers that are given. if not then TFB needs to put a disclaimer in her threads stating that she only wants answers in a certain way. however, if she wants real answers to her queries then she needs to start and be more responsible from the get go and take the tougher advice. seriously if she is as bad as people, and herself are giving her credit for then i truely wonder as to whether she should even be on a site like this in the first place. she knows that the people around her are damaged goods, that they do her no good at all, and yet she does nothing to get better people around her. she has proven herself to be lazy in other threads she has started, and again ignores the best of the advice. she also can not seem to make her mind up as to what she is good at, and not. for me, i'm stepping out of this thread, and i doubt that i'll bother with any more that she starts until she starts taking the advice she asks for. needles quote: jor learning difficulties and i have f

Aileen1968 -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:43:16 AM)
Maybe it's time to end your relationship with your parents. And with your "daddy" and find people that will be supportive of your efforts instead of enabling your dysfunction.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:44:05 AM)
Ok, answer me this. I have nobody else in my life, no other family, no other friends, no nothing. I have tried for a very long time to make friends and as friendly and as personable and as out going as I am, I can't seem to make, or keep friends. And that's not an excuse. The only people I have in my life are my parents, and my bf, If it was not for them I'd probably be institutionalized like I think LL said. I recognize the people in my life are toxic, but if there's nobody else, who else am I supposed to magically replace these three people with? I can always kick my bf out an get a new one yes, But who else replaces parents when there is no one else. quote: ORIGINAL: needlesandpins she knows that the people around her are damaged goods, that they do her no good at all, and yet she does nothing to get better people around her. quote: Maybe it's time to end your relationship with your parents. And with your "daddy" and find people that will be supportive of your efforts instead of enabling your dysfunction.

DomKen -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:47:33 AM)
The hard truth is, if you are as non/low functioning as you claim you should be living in a group home. You would at least, hopefully, get some structure and assistance in transitioning to independence. You're clearly never going to get that living with your parents and your bf who is living off you.

Baroana -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:47:37 AM)
Generally you are better off alone than with people who are toxic to you. If that's the way you feel about your boyfriend, then you should definitely kick him to the curb. If you go out on your own, you probably will find that you are more capable than you think.

Aileen1968 -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:48:10 AM)
You don't have to replace them. Sometimes being single and completely self sufficient is incredibly empowering.

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:56:44 AM)
You asked how someone who is good at math could have trouble making change. That tells me you don't understand when the brain refuses to made a connection, you won't learn that skill unless and until you learn to compensate for your brain's deficiencies. The things I have to do to compensate for my directional deficiency are laughable. At almost 60 years of age, if I want to be sure about right and left, I better check my hands, b/c I know my right hand has a small scar. So I was responding to that post. I agree it's the whole ball of wax, her parents, coupled with her learning deficiencies, AND lack of professional help.

Toppingfrmbottom -> RE: I'm going into the SSI office tomorow to ask about retesting for new disabilities. (3/2/2013 11:57:15 AM)
Thank you. I tried that. Nobody was taking clients, Those who take my insurance are extremely busy and next to never have room for new clients. I will continue to search though And I can only get therapy once a month through kaiser if I wanted to use them. I used to, their therapists already proved many times they basically shouldn't be therapists because all 3 of the three therapists at kaiser basically lacked any compassion and ability to make a client feel safe. The last one said ewww that's disgusting, or I dont want to hear that, or why are you telling me that , when I have finally trusted them enough to open up and tell them the "when things get hard stuff" The last one I had, told me that my living condition an the way i keep myself was disgusting and i needed an eye opener that this wasn't normal or healthy, and I lost it. I said don't you fucking realize i know this isn't fucking normal and i would run away from my life and start a new if I could, and these issues would not follow me? WHY the fuck do you think i am trying to get help? She triggered me so bad I couldn't stop crying for an hour. I even felt compelled to place a complaint against her with member services because she had done and said other things to make me feel i couldn't be safe with her in therapy. I am working on getting a payee right now. However all my credit cards an shit have been closed, so I really can't go spend willy knilly freely on them any more, and that will help big time. quote: ORIGINAL: erieangel TFTB: and you probably need a representative payee, though I know you don't want one, you will see the benefit of one as your bills start getting paid down and you have more money for the things you need. The social security office can assign a payee to you usually through a social services agency, many of which don't charge. The agency that I am with is owned by the county and it costs the county $500 per year/per client to operate the program. They consider it money well spent. You should also find a therapist at a local mental health agency that accepts medicaid and stop paying out-of-pocket. But you also need the other services because there is only so much that a therapist can do.

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