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Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 3:13:48 PM   
kickinchick


Posts: 129
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Why is it that so many Doms who I never see post will contact me and ask me to meet them....right out of the blue?
Asking the Dom's who posts...why do you think that is and asking the submissives, do you get these request to?
I just find it weird and I'm curious about it.

Thanks, KickinAss
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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 3:24:16 PM   
TxBlkMistress


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/21/2004
Status: offline 		LOL...I get that from subs/slaves too.  One, on the very first email wanted me to meet him for coffee and even put his phone number in the email, and pretty much told me where he lived....good thing I wasn't a stalker/axe murderer....lol

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 3:36:07 PM   
iliv2servher


Posts: 228
Joined: 5/17/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kickinchick

Why is it that so many Doms who I never see post will contact me and ask me to meet them....right out of the blue?

Asking the Dom's who posts...why do you think that is and asking the submissives, do you get these request to?

I just find it weird and I'm curious about it.


Why is it weird?  Why do people post their profiles here on CM if they don't want to be contacted?  If someone sees your profile and it doesn't say not to contact you, and they are polite about it, why the hell not?  Maybe they think you're in interesting person.  Maybe it's only for friendship anyway.  It's not something to necessarily be weirded out about.

-liv2


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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 4:01:10 PM   
OedipusRexIt


Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline 		My best guess as to "why" would be that those doing so believe that direct approach might be effective, and that if they just apply it to enough prospects, someone will eventually say yes.

The sad thing is they're not wrong.

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 4:08:40 PM   
KennelDeSade2


Posts: 210
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: kickinchick

Why is it that so many Doms who I never see post will contact me and ask me to meet them...



Often somebody will ask me; "Is there something I'm doing that these (enter typr here) keep contacting ME?  Am I doing something wrong?"

We all tend to personalize our experience on the web.  If we get a lot of a certian type of mail, we tend to think that we are attracting a lot of personal attention.  In most cases, it's not the case.  In most cases what we are getting is what I think of as personals ads spam.  The vast majority is from guys who are using the same hope that mass mailers once used and that is a 2% response rate.  If they send a request to every profile with female in it, maybe they will catch somebody on an off day who will make a mistake, and agree to meet them.

Ever wonder given that a/s/l?  "on your knees, bitch!"  "wut r u doin 2 day?"  and sending out a dick pic, all have such a low chance of EVER getting a positive response, why are they still so common?
The reason is because the average is stupid and lazy,  And half the population falls below that line.

So, it's not personal, and it's not just you.  Everybody is getting the same email that says; "Darling, I love you and can't live without you.  Marry me, or I will kill myself."  It is addressed to "[email protected]




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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 4:10:24 PM   
bandit25


Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline 		I'm not completely sure I understand the question.  Many Doms don't post.  In fact, most likely the majority don't post.  I would think that everyone gets these kinds of requests. 


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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 4:50:41 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		I was on CM for two years before I ever even looked at the forums... I spent time in chat a while, but didn't really enjoy some of the people who visited chat either...
 
I see the responding to the profiles one on one as a little more formal. I have a basic letter that I then tailor to each person based on why I contacted them (they live close and I know of several local groups they might enjoy, or they have a fairly unique interest that I also enjoy, or they say something that inspires me). The point is, I wouldn't even contact someone unless I do have a sincere interest.
 
I often include some contact info along with a "maybe we could meet for coffee once you're comfortable" and I mean that. I feel that I may only have one or two partners, but I could enjoy having a lot of friends in this life. I don't expect or want everyone I contact to become an intimate partner.... sheesh.

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 4:52:23 PM   
kickinchick


Posts: 129
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		Why is it weird?  Why do people post their profiles here on CM if they don't want to be contacted?  If someone sees your profile and it doesn't say not to contact you, and they are polite about it, why the hell not?  Maybe they think you're in interesting person.  Maybe it's only for friendship anyway.  It's not something to necessarily be weirded out about.

-liv2

Well, I think it's weird that they haven't read the profile that says I'm under consideration by Fastlane and I'm not interested in anyone else.
Yet, the e-mails are..."you wanna play?" Pictures of subs tied up saying "this could be you." gimme a break. If you want to be friends, yes...let's be, but if your asking to play..."sorry, read the profile."
I'm not interested...take that hard on to the wood pile and whack it til it bleeds, if that's your needs.
Tee hee hee.

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 4:58:10 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		ahhh, that wasn't clear in the original post...
 
I responded with why I would contact with contact info and why I would contact if someone dosen't post on the forums...
 
that "wanna play" type thing makes more sense for the original op...

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 5:07:15 PM   
kickinchick


Posts: 129
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		gottcha...sorry, if I was unclear....Ditzy blonde, according to my Dom, Fastlane.

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 5:12:54 PM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Kickin, I used to get them too.  With every re-write of my profile they slowed down.  Course every re-wright had less and less of the "yes Master" kind of stuff in it.  (shrug)   I've not read yours so I dont know if that is any similarity or not. 
Now the few that slip through get igmored. 
Hell, all they want is the kink anyway.

Hugs
Q

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 6:51:31 PM   
LadiesBladewing


Posts: 944
Joined: 8/31/2005
Status: offline 		We get these as well, from prospectives who want to be considered for servitude with us. We've never seen or heard from them, they've never posted to the boards, and their profiles are minimal. Some are local, and we at least make an attempt to get to know them a bit... but always at least through email or phone. It amazes me the number that expect to meet the evening that they write us, and often ask if they can come to our HOME, right out of the blue.

ZWD

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:02:59 PM   
blindSubmission


Posts: 2
Joined: 6/19/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Quivver

Kickin, I used to get them too.  With every re-write of my profile they slowed down.  Course every re-wright had less and less of the "yes Master" kind of stuff in it.  (shrug)   I've not read yours so I dont know if that is any similarity or not. 
Now the few that slip through get igmored. 
Hell, all they want is the kink anyway.

Hugs
Q


Yes and no Q.
I have meet with doms who i have chatted with for months and was so disappointed i wasted my time.
Then there are some my gut that tells me he wants to use me for his raw control power sort of like the power of rape.

One sort of dom strongly believes in blind obedience and to TEST IT....will demand  to meet and do as he says pronto..... but you better KNOW what sort of blind obedience he is asking for SM or sensually erotic or something in between. 

The notion of EXPECTATION on each part must be discussed even if breifly.
Note the journal entry on my profile ~~~would you think i would consider such a "human?"
Depends on the sub/slave is my opinion.

(in reply to Quivver)
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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:10:16 PM   
alovelypet


Posts: 35
Joined: 4/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:


Well, I think it's weird that they haven't read the profile that says I'm under consideration by Fastlane and I'm not interested in anyone else.
Yet, the e-mails are..."you wanna play?" Pictures of subs tied up saying "this could be you." gimme a break. If you want to be friends, yes...let's be, but if your asking to play..."sorry, read the profile."
I'm not interested...take that hard on to the wood pile and whack it til it bleeds, if that's your needs.
Tee hee hee.



i think that happens to a lot on here, whether they are Dominant or sub/slave.  my profile clearly states that i am owned and living with my Master...yet there are some who never make it past the pictures.  It wouldn't matter what you put on your profile....they simply look for pictures of  what they like and hit the "send mail" button.  Just a part of being on this site.

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:14:49 PM   
Kree


Posts: 118
Joined: 6/13/2006
Status: offline 		kickin
It is called beating the odds.  First, they likely do not post because they are not only clueless in this lifestyle, but likely clueless in social skills. Second, they understand that posting would highlight that ignorance. 

Now, to beating the odds.  I live in a tourist area.  Many female tourists, both married and single, arrive here horny as 6 clitted goats looking to get laid.  I had a friend that often wanted to go to clubs and would ask several of us to go with him.  Every woman he danced with, smiled at, talked to, or even looked at would be asked to go home and screw him.  Honestly, I found it embarrasing to be around this clown and stopped going on those expeditions.  He called me and asked why I didnt want to go out anymore.  When I told him that his trolling was an embarrassment, he laughed.  He called it "beating the odds".  If he worked a room and asked enough people, someone would invariable go home with him for sex.  Not my thing, but maybe that explains their actions.

There is another part of this that fascinates me.  Many years ago, I owned a chat room on IRC.  It was a BDSM discussion chat room.  We had an idiot come in and post a trolling line like: "male dominant with a 15" cock".  I sent him a PM telling him that a) we didnt troll in the room and b) no one cared that he claimed to have a 15" cyber dick.  His reply: "can't talk now, 5 women PMed me and I am too busy to chat with YOU."  It is sad that females are bothered by morons that see anything in cyberspace as an opportunity.  The other side of this is that too many females choose to ANSWER these idiots as they work to "beat the odds".  If they send enough email and work through profiles, someone out there will be desperate enough to answer.

< Message edited by Kree -- 6/21/2006 7:15:46 PM >

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:25:16 PM   
Lordandmaster


Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline 		You're on an anonymous internet personals site.  What exactly do you expect?  The world is filled with people who don't read profiles before they send e-mail.  If it bothers you so much to have people contact you, take down your profile.  That's an option.

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:39:39 PM   
LadyHugs


Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		Dear kickinchick, Ladies and Gentlemen;
 
I have been here for a number of years and never did look into the forums until recently, when it scrolled by on the main/home page of CollarMe.com.
 
That said, I have to agree with the others; it is not only a problem for submissive females but, dominant females as well. 
 
I really thing some people just look at the location, see a female searching and start fishing.  They don't look at and or read the profile, the journal and such. 
 
I've had male submissives telling me how they want to tie me up.  I've had male dominants saying how they want to tie me up also.  Then when I tell them I tie dominant men up, they go mush on me and say they want to submit to me.  Go figure. LOL
When there is no sex to be had, they go onto another lass.  I've heard men have the similar problem of having approaches.
 
I just take it with a grain of salt.  Otherwise, you can always meet but, have your dominant there with a big smile and string them up inverted and have some giggles and grins.  Perhaps the blood will rush to the correct head, instead of letting gravity let blood rush into their 'kick stand' also known as a phallus.
 
Respectfully submitted with a wee bit of humor,
Lady Hugs

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:44:49 PM   
kickinchick


Posts: 129
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		LadyHugs...tosses salt over my shoulder and says...thank you for your words of wisdom and from your heart.
Very well said and very well recieved.
Hug, Anne

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RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:52:01 PM   
SensualTouch


Posts: 2
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline 		It must seem like the BDSM community is Large when actually it is a community of rare and unique individuals.  For the most part we find wannabe Dom/Domme and sub/slaves... It is here you have those led by the same sexual undertones that leads the vanilla world.  Those who are Real will have a wisdom behind their conversations with you.  Be careful, be wise and be safe.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Curious about certain Doms - 6/21/2006 7:52:38 PM   
SirKenin


Posts: 2994
Joined: 10/31/2004
From: Barrie, ON Canada
Status: offline 		I think there are many people who do not even use this side of the site, and are only using the other side as a mating site.  There is nothing inherently wrong with that.  It certainly does not make them any less qualified to initiate contact.

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