erieangel
Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline
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Last week I posted that I felt I was being verbally abused by a client at work.
I got a lot of feedback from posters, many of whom said I should look for a new job. While I considered that option, it isn't going to happen. And I'll explain why.
I've been at this job for nearly 5 years. Given that the program has been open only 12 years and I am the 4th full time staff person in the position and the one to last the longest in the position, my supervisor completely understands that I may want or need to transfer out of the Lodge. But I really don't want a transfer, for a number of reasons. The most pressing reason, though, is what would I do if I did transfer within the agency? There are only 2 jobs for which I qualify. Psych Rehab in the community. And that would mean driving all over the county (and I don't particularly like to drive) and I also have some mobility problems in the winter that make it difficult for me to walk when it is snowy and icy outside. Sometimes I need to use a cane. So Psych Rehab work in the community isn't really feasible.
Or I could go the Personal Care Home. But the people at the Personal Care Home are much sicker than my guys. These are people who would have once been placed in the state hospital. The Personal Care Home has 24 hour staffing, 50 clients and only 1 peer specialist, so I wouldn't be able to do the same type of work.
Basically, also, my supervisor talked me into staying. OK, so I love the guy as a brother and would do anything for him. He did write me up and put a "corrective action" in my personnel file. But his supervisor made him do it. That pissed me off. I told him when he gave it to me sign that if she wanted it done so badly, she should have done it. He agreed. She also told me that she would keep me informed about what was going on, then I heard nothing from her. I told my supervisor that I thought the 3 of us should meet again because I realized most of this had happened because my Prozac wasn't working and I didn't realize it until days later when I had time to step away and evaluate my life. But after he and I talked, I decided since she couldn't be bothered to keep me informed about what was going on, why should I want to talk to her. My supervisor can let her know. He also told me that he expects she won't be there much longer. This woman was hired to head up the mobile psych rehab division 8 months ago, has done little bring up billing but has been a hard ass about putting complaints in employee's files like mine. She even wrote up one employee for leaving a client's home when the client's bf was acting in a way that had the employee fearful, when they are all taught to keep a clear path between themselves and the nearest exit for a reason.
My supervisor and his supervisor both agreed that clients are not allowed to yell at me and call me vile names--that is abusive. That was made clear to the entire house. And the client that did so that day was given a written warning that if such behavior happens again he will be removed from the program--just as other clients had been in the past.
I took 2 days off work, stayed with my daughter and babysat my granddaughter while she and my son-in-law worked because I didn't want to be home alone. (Only later did I realize that I went from being alone to a house full of guns while deeply depressed). My son took my car and his father to the Poconos for a week. I also saw my psychiatrist who increased my Prozac and added 2 other medications, including 1 to help me sleep because I haven't been sleeping well, even with over the counter sleep aids. It's odd, I can get sick, take a dose of NyQuil and be out for 10-12 hours. The past few weeks, a dose of NyQuil as been letting me sleep maybe 2 hours at best. Usually 45 minutes max. I've given up all caffeine these past weeks, most sugar, lost about 30 pounds and almost got into that pair of jeans I haven't been able to wear for 2 years.
Bottom line is, I wouldn't have reacted as badly as I had if I wasn't tired and depressed. Lack of sleep alone makes me overly sensitive, edgy and quick to anger.
Depression makes me overly sensitive and tearful.
There had been a lot of stuff going on that week that was causing stress, too. Somebody I cared deeply about passed away. A teen in my neighborhood disappeared, is still missing. My payee miscalculated and said she didn't have all of my car insurance money and I wasn't sure my tax refund would come in time to pay the annual premium (I really don't want to pay extra by going to semi-annual payments). And BTW, the payee had the money to cover the premium, after all. But I think all of that stress was masking the depression and it wasn't until after I worked my stress-relief plans that I realized I had deeper problems.
So my HR file took a hit, the first in nearly 5 years. I was assigned to do 2 online trainings on essential learning, which I will do in a week or so, as I discussed with my supervisor, when I am feeling much better. And I am staying in a job which I enjoy, from which I find fulfillment, which I am good at. I enjoy working with that age group and I develop a rapport with most of the guys that come into the house. If my boss wanted me to be transferred, that would be a different story, but he wants me to stay. He also wants me to do what is right for me. I told him on the same day that I mentioned a transfer that it wasn't what I really want. At the time, I saw no other options though. Unfortunately, he went and talked to his supervisor before speaking to me again, which is why I have the hit on my HR file. He didn't want to put in the report, he like to deal with things on his own. But once staffing issues came up...he had work to do. I've apologized profusely to him profusely and admitted my wrong-doing.
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Update on my work issues - 
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