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Zevar -> RE: Very new (3/3/2013 7:59:05 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Khalli
I have found myself in a relationship with a Dom in a very strange series of events. It was not something I was even really aware I craved so badly. I am going to be having my first session with him in a weeks time & am feeling anxious! Perfect submission is not expected, is it? He has been so good at answering my questions & allaying my fears, but I am looking for the opinion of other Doms familiar with very new submissives. My gratitude.
I do not pretend to have your personal answers in replying to your posting. I am not replying due to thinking I hold your answers. I do not. Nor do not have the totality of information, as is related to the length of your “relationship” with this Dom that you mention which you have questions in terms of “submitting” to in your 1 st session.
Obviously you will feel much, and strive to understand even more, especially in the beginnings of exploring in ways that are new to you. As is related to how you are to conduct or express yourself during this 1st session with this Dom, clearly brings forth much to contemplate. It is of great importance to keep your safety as your primary need, over ALL else, and regardless.
AND then of course your consent is of the utmost importance. In terms of you noting the implications of the expectation of “perfect submission” is subjective at best. Submission is dimensional and takes the development of Trust to deepen into an exchange of submissiveness with the potency of dominance, if one is seeking to develop a bond with another individual, that is.
However, negotiating a play session is quite different. AND requires acute awareness on ones part, in negotiating how, when, where, and all of the other personal limits and such that MUST be discussed and agreed upon. I will say that taking time and being patient at engaging in that which is new and unexplored is worthy of being approached with a sense of an internal constitution that brings to oneself a sense of peace, in that what you will embark upon with another individual, for the 1st time, and all that will come forth as a result of your choices.
Be wise, always put your safety above all else, and TALK, TALK and then TALK more to reach that place that gives you in internal sense of peace and knowing that what you consent to exchange with another will indeed be what you know to be right for you, and of course your Husband also.
The long term outcome-- as in the thereafter when you have given yourself to this Dom that is NOT your Husband, and how you will integrate this into your already established marriage bond deserves discussion also, as the already established relations with your Husband are of most importance, I would think. As who has been there for you during your mutually shared years indeed deserve consideration.
AND of course I realize this which I share with you is of My own perspective. I offer this to you for whatever it is worth, if anything at all. However I do encourage you once again to BE SAFE above all else, and Wise too aye. Forethought aye…
I wish you well
Zevar
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