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RE: A question about gifts... - 6/22/2006 11:33:17 PM   
MsKarenMarie


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/16/2004
Status: offline 		Hello E/everyone! I cant believe that I have missed out on there forums....I am getting alot of pleasure reading Y/your responses and yes I agree that Y/you can tell Who the Ones who really understand this lifestyle are....
 
As for gifts I have to agree that it is a matter of doing your homework and letting Her know that you went out of your way in some small way, that  She was on your mind and that you took the time to please her. That would endear me to My hopeful immensely.
 
Respectfully,
 
MsKarenMarie
 
 

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RE: A question about gifts... - 6/24/2006 7:02:11 AM   
LadyMorgynn


Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline 		I'd say something small would be fine... chocolate, flowers (but find out if she has allergies!), a small book.  I'd probably be flattered.  Someone else mentioned discomfort it if it was too expensive or too obviously had strings attached, and I agree.  Think about a first date... what would be appropriate on a first date, would probably be appropriate at your first meeting with a Domme :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: joyinslavery

I just read a thread in 'Ask a Master' about gifts and it made me wonder about bringing a small gift to an initial meeting with a prospective Domme.  I wondered how She might react to that...I'm sure it would vary based on the individual but would that be considered bad form?  Might it be viewed as something less than sincere?  Of course, I'm talking about something of nominal value, NOT a diamond ring or Tiffany tennis bracelet (lol).  Would You be flattered?  Put off?  Is it too much?  Leave it out?  Would love to hear Your opinions on it! 


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RE: A question about gifts... - 6/24/2006 5:52:04 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You for the responses!  I knew I could get some answers here (and some great ideas!).  Thanks!  

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Profile   Post #: 23
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/24/2006 6:19:50 PM   
TexasMaam


Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline 		bobbi paid very close attention to My likes and dislikes prior to our first meeting.

he presented Me with a CD by one of My favorite artists just before we parted company at the end of our first r/t encounter, (before we ever sessioned, went on any date or outing, just our first face to face meeting).

It was personal, but not pretentious, and reminded Me of him every time I listened to it thereafter.

TexasMaam

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RE: A question about gifts... - 6/26/2006 10:46:02 AM   
Samwhiplash


Posts: 191
Joined: 10/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think that a sub bringing a gift to an initial meeting wth a prospective Mistress is a great way of showing attention to detail. I agree wth all the other ladies that if it were something expensive I would be embarassed, but something inexpensive that had had some thought put in would really impress me.

A sub that I had dinner with over xmas (it was our first "alone" meet rather than chatting in a group at the munch) brought me a copy of a dvd I had mentioned that I wanted to see. I was absolutely delighted.

Flowers or a plant are always a winner in my book.

Actually... I dont think enough men give flowers/plants - or maybe thats an Irish thing :-)

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/26/2006 3:18:39 PM   
joyinslavery


Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline 		Thank You All so much for the thoughtful responses!  Love the threads here!  Great place to tap into some great knowledge and experience!! 

Thanks again!! 

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/28/2006 8:34:25 PM   
Misstoyou


Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline 		Okay, here's a gift I really liked. My puppy downloaded a special ringtone to know immediately that I'm calling..."Unforgettable."

All together now..."Awwwwwwww!"

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RE: A question about gifts... - 6/28/2006 10:26:27 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		~giggles~
 
I look at a plant and it loses it's will to live.... I must have a black thumb or something...
 

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/28/2006 10:46:27 PM   
Dollbecky


Posts: 197
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline 		I am in line here with everyone else ...a  small gift that says "I have been paying close attention to your personality"  as opposed to " whip me, fuck me,make me your bitch!I paid up front!"

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/28/2006 10:52:11 PM   
Calandra


Posts: 725
Joined: 11/22/2004
Status: offline 		Question for My fellow Dommes: Does it add value in your eyes if the gift is handmade by the sub/slave?

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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/28/2006 11:25:19 PM   
SweetDommes


Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline 		if it's something that I don't care about, then it isn't going to help it's value if it's handmade.  If it's shoddy workmanship (not due to lack of skill, but lack of care) it also isn't going to help.  But something that the boy knows I will like, and that he has taken the greatest care possible to make; I will adore it and cherish it.

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/29/2006 4:14:01 PM   
GddssBella


Posts: 343
Joined: 2/24/2004
Status: offline 		G'afternoon all:


I can only echo what many have already advised. A gift upon first meeting should be nominal. It should also reflect careful consideration. I'm more impressed if a man pays attention to previous discussions and takes his cue from there.

I'm not a fan of flowers as their transitory nature is fleeting. Doesn't make the best impression. Luxury food/beverage items have their own pitfalls. Handcrafted goods, when well constructed, speak of a more personal touch. I wouldn't set a monetary limit, as everyone's budget is different. Rather, it's the nature of the gift that is more important. Let it reflect your taste, your willingness to please, and your regard for the lady.

My boy and I met very soon after our initial discussions, a deviation from the norm. While he didn't bring a gift, he was solicitous to my every whim. After lunch, we went strolling and shopping around Manhattan. Several times, I had to dissuade him from purchasing things for me. It wasn't the proper time or place. He's had very few romantic relationships and wasn't quite hip to what it means to court a lady. His training in this regard is progressing nicely.  Since then, he brings me little items he knows I'll enjoy or use. Simply because he knows/hopes I'll enjoy them. Always put a smile on my lips.


Stay safe, play nice, & share your toys w/ others...





Bella

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Profile   Post #: 32
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/29/2006 9:18:49 PM   
MsKatHouston


Posts: 1909
Joined: 6/7/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline 		I will second the no flowers sentiment.  I am very picky about flowers and would rather not get any at all.  if you decide to though, get me something original not just roses.  *yawn*

Small gifts are fine and enjoyable and I agree with what most everyone here says in the sub should pay attention and get something small but special.  If someone gave me a large present on the first meeting I first would not accept it and second would feel ill at ease.

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~If you can't be a good example, you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning~

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/30/2006 3:11:49 AM   
MisPandora


Posts: 2911
Joined: 4/7/2004
From: Philadelphia, PA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MsKatHouston

I will second the no flowers sentiment.  I am very picky about flowers and would rather not get any at all.  if you decide to though, get me something original not just roses.  *yawn*



I generally think that way as well.  My favorite flowers are lavender roses, and they are nearly impossible to find in normal florists unless you plan really carefully (or order them through a grower/supplier.)   If the slave knows that and puts forth the effort to find those roses, he'll earn extra bonus points in my book.

When I was competing for Ms World Leather in Dallas in 2004, I arrived at the hotel to find an arrangement of three dozen lavender and white roses sent there by a slave acquaintance of mine.  He was unable to be there to support me because of family and health issues, and he knew that I was there by myself.  That was perhaps the most unexpected and beautifully supportive.  Each night I went to bed with the scent of gorgeous blooms filling my room.  I even brought them home with me on the plane (along with an armload of more roses from when I won the contest!)

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Ms World Leather 2004
Ms Philadelphia Leather 2004

"Simply put, if you want a real femdom to love you, give her reasons to love you." Gloria Brame

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Profile   Post #: 34
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/30/2006 5:34:25 AM   
MistressWolfen


Posts: 578
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		I am always pleased to receive a small gift that shows some thought has been put into it; with the caveat that it be given without expectation and with good intent in the spirit of giving. In response to Calandra, yes I enjoy home made gifts as it takes some time and thought to create them.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/30/2006 8:53:12 AM   
planomaid


Posts: 77
Joined: 10/4/2004
Status: offline 		Allergies and personal preferences make it hard to do flowers the first time unless your really know them well.  Chocolates are usually appreciated, but sometimes are not.  A book or some other item is a toss up.  And lingerie is usually not a good choice unless you really know the lady well and have a good inkling of how she may react to it (as well as her size!)

The one thing that I have found to be always appreciated (keeping fingers crossed it stays that way) is a stuffed animal.  It's very easy to find something that is cute and cuddly.  Plus if you can match the animal to their personality, or have a really humorous story to go along with your choice, then kudo's to you!

As for the meal thing, well, that's not an issue for me.  I always pick up the tab when going out with a lady.  It's something us southern boys were taught by our mommas.


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Profile   Post #: 36
RE: A question about gifts... - 6/30/2006 10:47:40 AM   
MistressSassy66


Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MysticFireTopaz

I think a gift of nominal value is a nice touch and I would be flattered.
 
The only thing that makes Me uncomfortable is when a prospective sub tries to give Me an expensive gift right off the bat, before I have even decided to get involved with him.  I see that as a attempt at bribery and it makes Me very uncomfortable.  I won't even accept a gift like that.
 
Otherwise, a small gift is fine, but certainly optional.
 
Lady Topaz



I agree with Lady Topaz...

A small inexpensive jewelry item would be okay, necklace or bracelet, a ring might be too much.

I dont like it when they bring wine.Not only do I not drink it,but I dont want them drinking either.

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http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

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Profile   Post #: 37
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