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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/8/2013 10:55:53 PM

Spiritedsub2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve
<snip> ...You want more than that you have to cross the limn into meatspace, and then it gets realer.

"Meatspace"? Really?
Sigh.

"Dad! *sigh* You sound so old! You'd be LOL's in IRL if U sed something like that!"

It's an old school internet term where you differentiate meeting the person in their meat (meat, meet, get it?) form as opposed to their electronic form. It was usually used for the pun involved.

NOW GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMNED KIDS!

I got it, but it still looked ugly to me. Maybe it's just my mood. The pun spin is a little better, which is something I never thought I'd say.

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Post #: 41

RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 12:44:04 AM

Thaz

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You can develop feelings and certainly have some fun online (waves at a poster a little higher up this thread). Is it 'a' relationship, er yes. Is it THE relationship? Maybe. Like LadyP said it has that possibility.

Have I made firm friends via the net Yes! Did I meet my wife via there? yes!! Have I met play partners and more from there, yes! Did it really mean anything untill we met and connected in person? No, no it didnt. But I still have friends, close ones, who I have never met in person or very rarely.

Oh and when I was in college one of my best mates parents had met for the first time on their wedding day...after he had escaped from behind the Iron Curtain....after years of pen pal communication. So its ALWAYS worked for some people.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 4:29:33 AM

tazzygirl

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quote:

Online, dommes and subs keep pushing each other to play even though people say 'no'.

And yet 29 cmails later (29 cmails in one fucking night), you still havent come to the realization that I dont want to play with you.

I told you there, I will tell you here. I do not consent to play with you. I do not consent to top you.

You dont take rejection well at all. You need to learn.

Instead, you come here to whine more.

When are you going to learn?

quote:

Tazzygirl learned to put her manpants on when I discussed with her before.

You obviously have issues. I would suggest you get yourself under control before approaching another female on line.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 5:16:02 AM

LadyPact

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Twenty-nine?

Holy shit, dude.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 5:16:57 AM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: crazyml
I just think it's too narrow a definition, although the "majority of cases" preface sort of gets if off the hook. As soon as you talk to someone online you're having a relationship with them. Just as the moment you meet someone in meatspace you have a relationship with them...
<snipped for brevity>
So... yes, I concede that in the majority of cases these "super intense relationships" are pretty shaky but it doesn't make sense to me to say they're not "relationships"

This mirrors my thinking. Yes they are a "real relationship". But they live in a different environment than offline and different rules apply and different outcomes result. For instance, they do tend to be emotionally "super intense" and there are reasons for that. They also tend to burn hot and flicker out quickly. but for all that, saying they aren't "real" is to deny actual reality.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 5:27:37 AM

Thaz

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I spent a year or two acting as Online Dom to a couple of Ladies I have never met. It seemed pretty real at the time. Skype and Instant Messaging makes contact and some degree of control a lot easier. Its a LOT easier to talk a good game online. And that worked for us at the time. Did they last? No. Although at least one remains a good friend I talk to most weeks several times a week.

Have I since used the same skills in Real Life and has that felt a lot different? Er yes. Not to put a downer on a any online only folks there but, to be crude, Blowjobs feel better outside of cyberspace....and so do kisses and hugs and lunch with a pretty <insert sex and orientation of your choice>. But as a way of maintaining a long distance relationship? Things have moved on a long long way.

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Post #: 46

RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 9:14:22 AM

xssve

Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MalcolmNathaniel

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

quote:

ORIGINAL: xssve
<snip> ...You want more than that you have to cross the limn into meatspace, and then it gets realer.

"Meatspace"? Really?
Sigh.

"Dad! *sigh* You sound so old! You'd be LOL's in IRL if U sed something like that!"

It's an old school internet term where you differentiate meeting the person in their meat (meat, meet, get it?) form as opposed to their electronic form. It was usually used for the pun involved.

NOW GET OFF MY LAWN YOU DAMNED KIDS!

The autocensor used to kill that one in here I think - another one was mullet, maybe it was another site.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 9:15:59 AM

Thaz

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Mullet was banzored? Really? Wow

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/9/2013 2:56:35 PM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Twenty-nine?

Holy shit, dude.

Talk about weapons-grade stupidity. Wow.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/10/2013 12:32:26 AM

thursdays

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Twenty-nine?

Holy shit, dude.

And a "Christ on a stick!" From me.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/10/2013 3:12:35 AM

Thaz

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As a sometime obessive internet stalker with access to high grade airborne imagery and night vision goggle......29 is a LOT.

If you're going to go stalk someone kept it subtle dude. Two or three and then switch to the Ghillie suit and lurking outside their bedroom window....

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/10/2013 3:55:56 PM

xssve

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Thaz

Mullet was banzored? Really? Wow

That might have been literotica.

So the worm turns, and the question now becomes: can meatspace bdsm relationship be too real?

I think it's established that internet relationships are as valid staging point for further social interaction, there is a social chemistry involved, that can at least lead to finding out if the organic chemistry works as well.

My question then would be, what about losers like me that can't even make a cyber relationship work?

I feel pretty confined by an internet relationship, I'm pretty good at reading between the lines, but I rely heavily on body language, etc., and it's easier to pretend to be somebody else, i.e., how you want to see yourself, who you want to be etc. - nothing wrong with self improvement, taking the positive view of this phenomena, sometimes being somebody else is a good thing, and it's the great allure of virtual reality - you are not confined entirely by the details of your birth, it creates a zone of intellectual and emotional freedom, but ultimately, we evolved to bump into each other, and ultimately neither can entirely replace the other.

I just have never had a satisfying cyber encounter, I could say much the same thing about meatspace, I like weird chicks, so I'm attracted to psychos - which is not exactly the same thing, do the math, but in those relationships I think there were more satisfying moments, even if that satisfaction is fleeting.

It's a tool.

< Message edited by xssve -- 3/10/2013 3:57:53 PM >

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/11/2013 10:41:08 AM

Dyfrynt

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To the OP. This is one of those questions that I wish people would just let go. Because whether it is "real" or not is real-ly irrelevant. I would wish more people would think of it this way: "Is what I am doing satisfying me?" If you have a hot and heavy cyber relationship that you are getting pleasure from, does it really matter whether the person on the other end is fake as the day is long?

If your cyber relationship does it for you, enjoy! As long as the cyber relationship is all you are ever going to want.

If, however, you are using a prolonged cyber relationship as a test for a potentially physical relationship, that is almost always a bad idea. If a physical relationship is desired, keep the text, phone part to a minimum. Communicate enough to decide if this is a person you might potentially be interested in. If it is, arrange for a meet sooner rather than later.

Observing all the safety and sensibility rules, of course. Meet in a public place. Arrive separately. Etc., etc., etc.

People who want an extended text or phone time period because they think they are getting to know the other person better are deluding themselves. They are wasting their time. One 15 minute chat across the table while having some coffee will tell you more about the other person than all the phone chats in the world.

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RE: is internet bdsm relationship real - 3/11/2013 1:13:05 PM

pig5lave

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Is it just me, or did the OP ask about the reality of internet relationships on a site called 'conme.com'??! Now that would be a good site for some of the so called findommes, and the fake guys pretending to be girls. Tell me it doesn't really exist!

As for the reality of internet relationships - I agree with what most people have already said. Anyone can seem to be anyone they want as long as its kept online. Pics and video clips can be downloaded and even fed through your webcam. Maybe you might verify them a bit if you can get them to a phone; but even that doesn't prove they are who and what they say they are. The female voice doesn't necessarily belong to the hot bodied young girl in the faked pics.......You can fall heavily for someone's online persona, and then if you ever do meet them in person, you can find yourself wondering wtf you ever saw in them!

If your lifestyle or kink doesn't allow for a real time relationship, ok, an online one may be the best you can hope for, and if you find someone suitable it may fill the gap for you. If you really are into getting 'wallet raped' by a findomme, good luck to you; my own sensory nerve endings don't extend to my wallet, but if yours do, fair enough. But I really would make damn sure the young woman you're talking to and allowing into your wallet and cards is genuinely who she is tellling you she is, and not some fat, bald old guy living in the cellar of his mum's house.

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