RE: THe art of submission (Full Version)

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tazzygirl -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 7:03:23 AM)

Any man who has my submission earned it.

For me, there are no tricks. There is just hard work, lots of understanding and a willingness of all parties to work towards a common goal.




TieMeInKnottss -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 7:06:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I would guess that what he meant was don't argue. Don't talk back. Don't do it with a grimace. Do it with a smile on your face and mean it. Actually mean it. Don't tell him you don't like something....just do it with a "Yes Sir" and nothing else. Don't dawdle. Do things for him that he likes and without him having to ask. Do things you know that would make his life easier. When he wants something don't say "wait a minute". Jump up and do it and if you can't, explain why you couldn't (dinner was burning) and hope for the best. Apologize when you know you are wrong.

These are just a few ideas. However, these things are only going to work with someone you know as well as yourself, like your husband, hopefully. If it's outside of your marriage which I'm guessing is, then this level will never be reached and I'd say this is all nothing but being kinky in the bedroom.

Hopefully though, you can use these tips for your marriage. If you start doing these things for your husband, you may find yourself the man you fell in love with in the first place. My experience has been that when marriages have fallen apart, it's because both got too comfortable with each other and forgot who the other person was or they stopped trying because the other person stopped trying. The other person decided loving their partner was no longer important.

So wanna see your husband more dominant? Follow the suggestions above.


Just to show that submission is not always sexual or kinky....LW just stated the way I have always climbed the corporate ladder. I still remember telling my favorite boss on my first week that my job was to make him look good and to make his life easier...




JeffBC -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 7:09:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss
Just to show that submission is not always sexual or kinky....LW just stated the way I have always climbed the corporate ladder. I still remember telling my favorite boss on my first week that my job was to make him look good and to make his life easier...

*nods* That's the thing I refer to as "social D/s" to distinguish it from "sexual D/s" and the other various forms of D/s I have in my head. It's pretty much all there is between Carol and I.




OsideGirl -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 7:38:48 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ChatteParfaitt

The thing is, she's married, he's what I would call a secondary relationship, which doesn't mean she shouldn't be emotionally invested, but it does mean she should be taking great care with how much she has invested.


This. Even if her husband knows this time around.

She's married with children. Submitting completely to someone outside of her marriage would be unwise and unfair to her family.

The second thing is that these are the same issues that she came here asking about the very first time she ever posted here.




JeffBC -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 7:47:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
She's married with children. Submitting completely to someone outside of her marriage would be unwise and unfair to her family.

I don't know how true that is. Consider that we are talking sexual submission here (eg: bottoming). So the concerns I would have about becoming internally enslaved and/or owned by someone other than the husband aren't really relevant.

How does "completely submitting sexually" differ from "a wild fling on the side"?




OsideGirl -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 8:17:24 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
She's married with children. Submitting completely to someone outside of her marriage would be unwise and unfair to her family.

I don't know how true that is. Consider that we are talking sexual submission here (eg: bottoming). So the concerns I would have about becoming internally enslaved and/or owned by someone other than the husband aren't really relevant.

How does "completely submitting sexually" differ from "a wild fling on the side"?


That's actually my point. She's engaging in bedroom submission or play sessions. In that case being submissive is really just doing what you're told and having fun doing it.

Giving him control outside of those parameters would be unwise in her position and unethical from the "Dom's" position.

Since he won't clarify we don't know which one he is trying to achieve.




JeffBC -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 8:46:23 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
That's actually my point. She's engaging in bedroom submission or play sessions. In that case being submissive is really just doing what you're told and having fun doing it.

Ahhhh... now I see. I just hadn't even considered the possibility that this could mean anything like IE. She doesn't seem interested/capable no matter what he wants.

Giving him control outside of those parameters would be unwise in her position and unethical from the "Dom's" position.
Wow. You're willing to give her a free pass? I'd have said "wildly unethical from her standpoint and somewhat unethical from his". Afterall, these are her commitments that we're discussing not the Dom's. He's only guilty by association where's she would be directly participating in breaking her own word.

In a different context I would only fault some guy a bit if he tried to hit on Carol. Sure sure, it's a skeevy thing to do and all that but it wasn't HIM that made promises of fidelity to me. Now... if Carol took him up on that I'd judge her quite a bit more harshly.




chatterbox24 -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 9:26:36 AM)

Typical pattern here.

Like the old childrens game telephone, where something is whispered into somenes ear, and it passes between several people, and the last message is a very vague reflection of what the original information was.
A thread is started, people give advice for awhile, not passing judgement or adding to it but by the end, they are writing like they have first hand accounts of the whole situation.
I wrote earlier making assumptions gives false conclusions.
IT has grown into Osidegirl telling Jeff something, she has no idea about now, and him saying ahhhhhhh, like she has the inside account and making calls on things that arent even true. All starting with instigators asking about my marriage to insinuate I am cheating to reflect things in a bad light. Jeff talking about my vows in which he has no idea what my husband has accepted now and agreed too. and the thread wasnt about how moral you thought I was. Or how you think I should run my marriage.
THe people unaware of the past had no agenda, but to give good advice. But a few people from the past, when it has nothing to do with what i asked things out of context. Alll you have to do is look and see it unwrapping thru the thread " are you still married?" Is it the same guy? and now its turned into a moral character assination thread.
Its not just in my case it happens over and over to others.
THey are a troll, they are stupid for asking a question, if someone shows care for another individual by showing compassion, they are OVERLY SENSITIVE. Seriously folks, thanks for the advice. But some giving the advice need advice and need to take it, but only people who can admit there sometimes wrong can take it.

Have a lovely day.

No more sharing here for me. I have learned my lesson for the last time.





LaTigresse -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 9:31:00 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Typical pattern here.

Like the old childrens game telephone, where something is whispered into somenes ear, and it passes between several people, and the last message is a very vague reflection of what the original information was.
A thread is started, people give advice for awhile, not passing judgement or adding to it but by the end, they are writing like they have first hand accounts of the whole situation.
I wrote earlier making assumptions gives false conclusions.
IT has grown into Osidegirl telling Jeff something, she has no idea about now, and him saying ahhhhhhh, like she has the inside account and making calls on things that arent even true. All starting with instigators asking about my marriage to insinuate I am cheating to reflect things in a bad light. Jeff talking about my vows in which he has no idea what my husband has accepted now and agreed too. and the thread wasnt about how moral you thought I was. Or how you think I should run my marriage.
THe people unaware of the past had no agenda, but to give good advice. But a few people from the past, when it has nothing to do with what i asked things out of context. Alll you have to do is look and see it unwrapping thru the thread " are you still married?" Is it the same guy? and now its turned into a moral character assination thread.
Its not just in my case it happens over and over to others.
THey are a troll, they are stupid for asking a question, if someone shows care for another individual by showing compassion, they are OVERLY SENSITIVE. Seriously folks, thanks for the advice. But some giving the advice need advice and need to take it, but only people who can admit there sometimes wrong can take it.

Have a lovely day.

No more sharing here for me. I have learned my lesson for the last time.




Do not forget that, by your own hand, some of us do have his name and contact information. We could ask him and find out.




mnottertail -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 9:31:33 AM)

Oh, what tangled webs we weave, when first we practice to deceive.

It's the internet, folks.

It is how humanity rolls, kids.

I gotta million of em, which one do you want?

Remember, this is only one side of the sitrep.   Put the other side on the horn, and then we will split your ass 4 ways from sunday.

Jus' net friendly,
Ron




OsideGirl -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 9:39:45 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

THe people unaware of the past had no agenda, but to give good advice.

If they had been aware of your past on these forums, it probably would have changed their advice to you.


quote:

No more sharing here for me. I have learned my lesson for the last time.


Again? Who wants to start a pool?




JeffBC -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 9:49:13 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
IT has grown into Osidegirl telling Jeff something, she has no idea about now, and him saying ahhhhhhh, like she has the inside account and making calls on things that arent even true.

I'll let OsideGirl speak for herself. My Ahhhhhh (and the entire post) was regarding HER hypothetical comment not your situation. Regarding your situation I'm still holding with your own words...

What are the tricks of the trade to show complete submission in the bedroom?

That'd be why I said "I hadn't even considered the possibility"

I admit that I could have been more clear about the blue quote from Oside and how I understood that was a hypothetical situation. In point of fact any judgement I had in that comment was targeted at Oside for gender bias rather than you.




LillyBoPeep -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 10:43:36 AM)

As one of those people who earlier did not have an agenda, I have to say - if you are re-engaging in a destructive/non productive cycle with someone with whom you have this exact same history, then by now you know what to expect...

I still think it's a good thing to evaluate and challenge yourself, to learn to control your temper, etc. Those things are excellent, and you are doing a good job, with respect to your self-analysis and criticism.

But if this is indeed a cyclical problem, and this person is behaving the same way he always has, what more can you expect? If this pattern of ignoring you and essentially being a taker is his MO, you already know who you're dealing with. Why would you re-engage? =p Why would you expect to change something that has shown you that it will not change?

It's a waste of time to expect anything else.

And if you are married, is your husband okay with the guy on the side? Because if he isn't, that's terribly disrespectful.




DomMeinCT -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 6:09:19 PM)


quote:

and the thread wasnt about how moral you thought I was. Or how you think I should run my marriage.

You brought up your morals in post #90 when you talked about the strengthening of your own character.

So, let's hear it. Has your character strengthened since you brought drama here and admitted to cheating on your husband with this "dom"?

Are you or are you not playing with your dominant partner with the full knowledge of your husband?

quote:

THe people unaware of the past had no agenda, but to give good advice.

You know exactly how most of the folks on this thread would have responded to you if you disclosed more.




littlewonder -> RE: THe art of submission (3/9/2013 8:02:11 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Its not just in my case it happens over and over to others.
THey are a troll, they are stupid for asking a question, if someone shows care for another individual by showing compassion, they are OVERLY SENSITIVE. Seriously folks, thanks for the advice. But some giving the advice need advice and need to take it, but only people who can admit there sometimes wrong can take it.


It's called having morals and values.
quote:



No more sharing here for me. I have learned my lesson for the last time.



You said that before. You're still here and still posting. How is this different from before?





breagha -> RE: THe art of submission (3/10/2013 9:15:44 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Typical pattern here.

A thread is started, people give advice for awhile, not passing judgement or adding to it but by the end, they are writing like they have first hand accounts of the whole situation.

usually what happens on a discussion board ( in my opinion ) is that after many many replies there is a discussion sparked between users that are viewing the board. this post has gotten to 6 pages. i think it is reasonable of the users here to reply/discuss things with one another without offense to the OP, even if the discussion has taken an off course from the original post.

I wrote earlier making assumptions gives false conclusions.

if given more detail people wouldn't make assumptions. you came here with an issue, people seemed ( to me anyway ) to answer the best they could from the information you provided as the original poster. my suggestion would be to give more specifics if you don't want replies based on assumption of facts that were omitted or not given.

IT has grown into Osidegirl telling Jeff something, she has no idea about now, and him saying ahhhhhhh, like she has the inside account and making calls on things that arent even true. All starting with instigators asking about my marriage to insinuate I am cheating to reflect things in a bad light. Jeff talking about my vows in which he has no idea what my husband has accepted now and agreed too. and the thread wasnt about how moral you thought I was. Or how you think I should run my marriage.
THe people unaware of the past had no agenda, but to give good advice. But a few people from the past, when it has nothing to do with what i asked things out of context. Alll you have to do is look and see it unwrapping thru the thread " are you still married?" Is it the same guy? and now its turned into a moral character assination thread.

i honestly don't see this as a character assassination thread. you brought your post to a forum where most people that would read it put high value in open and honest communication with the people they are involved with in their lives. Whether that is a poly or monogamous relationship. i believe that all the "are you still married" etc is really just trying to decipher the facts of the situation so they can offer the best advice.







RedMagic1 -> RE: THe art of submission (3/10/2013 9:52:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DomMeinCT
quote:

THe people unaware of the past had no agenda, but to give good advice.

You know exactly how most of the folks on this thread would have responded to you if you disclosed more.

Eh, I read it differently. There's only so many times you can tell a heroin addict, "You know, you might really want to look into a methadone program." After a while, you either shut up or start saying things like, "Do you always use fresh needles? Hey, here's a list of places you get get needles cheap." The OP has more issues than National Geographic, and anyone who wants to help her out has to start with a very very small part of them, in the hopes that lots of small nudges will have a big effect over time.




sexyred1 -> RE: THe art of submission (3/10/2013 12:09:21 PM)

It amazes when when people start threads and get interesting and good advice and then claim that everyone made "assumptions".

Is it not apparent now that in an online medium where words are the only things to go by, depending on how much an OP has disclosed, all one can do is make "assumptions" and give opinions that stem from one's own experiences?

Instead, people go flouncing off when they don't get the expected replies. Childish.




OsideGirl -> RE: THe art of submission (3/10/2013 12:29:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
Is it not apparent now that in an online medium where words are the only things to go by, depending on how much an OP has disclosed, all one can do is make "assumptions" and give opinions that stem from one's own experiences?


We also make assumptions based on what that poster had posted previously. She somehow thinks that we should all magically forget all of her other posts.

In this case: She's married with children. She was involved with a manipulative guy that she has left and gone back to several times (based on her own posts). She vacillates between acting like he's a God and accusing him of brainwashing. Whenever any of the history is brought up she plays the victim because we haven't forgotten what she has said and done on the forums.

The woman has more flounces than a Deep South prom dress.





sexyred1 -> RE: THe art of submission (3/10/2013 12:32:41 PM)

I was unaware of her past, but I do understand what you are saying. And that is why she is mad; people forget what they share and then when you remember they get pissed.

This was like me complaining about my ex all the time and even though I would forgive him, my friends and family did NOT and their advice to me was based on the information I provided them.

I could never expect any of them to forget and forgive. If the OP thinks that, she is off base.




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