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RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/10/2013 5:39:33 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

You don't have a long distance slave. You have a budding cyber romance with someone you can't see on a steady basis. You calling it something else does not make it true.


^^^^ This

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Actually, this sounds like a new revelation in the 'send money to buy a slave' scam.



^^^^ This


quote:

ORIGINAL: HisPet21

If she can't find some way to stay in contact with you regularly, then it seems to me that she just isn't that into you. *shrug*


^^^^ And this.


And just as a point of reference OP, a man was on here a few months ago talking about how he had sent a slave a lap top because the one she had couldn't do cam and skype. She got the lap top and disappeared.

The people say online-only is not real and only cyber-fantasy because that's what it IS. Face it, anyone can be anything they want to be online, it doesn't mean it's true. Even if you see each other on webcam, it doesn't mean your personalities in real life are anything at all like they portray themselves online. The whole thing could fall apart at the seams the moment you meet in real life...if you ever do.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/10/2013 6:31:27 PM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dygash

Can people please share their ideas in how to give us more options to interact? If things go well I'll probably fly out to her for a visit at the end of the summer.



I, too, vote for pen and paper.

Apart from that, I think that her going to the library and writing a few emails to you a week, plus the interaction of postal mail, can be a very nice, slow, relaxed and enjoyable romance. Hardly slavery, in my opinion, but I see nothing wrong with both of you enjoying the experience of imagining what may be and even embracing and hoping for it.

Then, when you meet in the summer, bring your laptop, and if things work out, let her take it home with her from there.



(in reply to Dygash)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/11/2013 6:08:05 AM   
muhly22222


Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kaliko


quote:

ORIGINAL: Dygash

Can people please share their ideas in how to give us more options to interact? If things go well I'll probably fly out to her for a visit at the end of the summer.



I, too, vote for pen and paper.

Apart from that, I think that her going to the library and writing a few emails to you a week, plus the interaction of postal mail, can be a very nice, slow, relaxed and enjoyable romance. Hardly slavery, in my opinion, but I see nothing wrong with both of you enjoying the experience of imagining what may be and even embracing and hoping for it.

Then, when you meet in the summer, bring your laptop, and if things work out, let her take it home with her from there.



This is good advice. You may think you've hit it off, but that's easy to do online, especially over a short period of time. Take your time and get to know her, and let her get to know you.

I know that everybody here has been saying you can't have an M/s relationship over long distance, especially with the communication issues that the two of you have. But if both of you are agreeable, there's no reason you couldn't being introducing some D/s into your relationship. Not really a whole lot of sexual and kinky stuff, but you could create a few simple rules for her to follow.

But you don't need to rush anything. Take your time and enjoy the journey...even if the destination is amazing, too.

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/11/2013 6:51:42 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: muhly22222


I know that everybody here has been saying you can't have an M/s relationship over long distance, especially with the communication issues that the two of you have. But if both of you are agreeable, there's no reason you couldn't being introducing some D/s into your relationship. Not really a whole lot of sexual and kinky stuff, but you could create a few simple rules for her to follow.




For the record I do think you can have a D/s relationship over a long distance - hell, I've done it. But I think the combination of the distance, the communication problems and the fact they haven't met make this impossible.

Especially in the early days there is going to need to be lots of checking in with each other, making sure expectations are clear and realistic, following up on whether things are done and making sure both of them are satisfied with the way things are going.

If they can't communicate with any regularity it's going to be very difficult to make any sort of sensible rules or orders. What happens when a situation they hadn't thought of comes up, but it's a week to send him a letter and another week to get one back to clarify what she's supposed to do. Or something comes a little too close to an issue she has but since they have no regular communication he doesn't pick up on her distress. There's just way too much scope for misunderstandings, inappropriate choices, and heartache. Not to mention he will have no clue at all if she is obeying - always a risk long-distance, but they've also not had enough time to build up a level of trust and investment in each other for him to know whether she's likely to be obeying him. From her point of view, she isn't getting the reassurance and immediate feedback that most subs would like in a new relationship to make her feel that he is a safe person to play with and that his style of dominance meshes with her.

If I had to suddenly go and spend three months in deepest darkest Peru and could only have occasional and erratic contact with my husband, we might be able to cope. He knows me well enough to know how I will react to things, and to know that he can trust me even when he can't check up on me. I know him well enough to understand what he expects of me, and to make a pretty good judgment of how he would like me to handle whatever situation might crop up. But we've already done the work of getting a relationship established. These people haven't. They're starting from scratch and everything is against them.

If they are both really this interested in each other (and it's not just a scam to get a laptop) then personally I think they should wait until they have reliable communication and can plan a meeting so that they can do the get-to-know-you part.


_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to muhly22222)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/11/2013 8:07:45 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		give her money to buy a laptop and/or maybe an iphone. I'm sure she'll love you forever for that.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/12/2013 6:04:10 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

give her money to buy a laptop and/or maybe an iphone. I'm sure she'll love you forever for that.




*sings*

Oh, me so horny, love you LONG time.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/12/2013 11:39:12 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		When there's a will, there's a way. If she really likes you, and it's really a she, then she'll find a way to make it happen.
And if not, shrugs, well that's an answer unto itself now, ain't it though.

You can do distance. I chatted on and off with the lilone for years before we met. Course, we're both cynical net vets so neither of us considered it anything at all until we actually met and clicked. Then a relationship began to bloom. But even then, we were long distance for quite some time and we made it work.
In fact, in many ways, I think it made our relationship stronger.
The distance made us talk, really get to know each other, share values, interact and realize that we could spend hours just yacking about nothing and everything. Without the instant proximity of sex, we were forced to do things almost old school, and in the end, it was kinda cool. It certainly built a foundation that's lasted and shows no signs of cracking any time soon.
Lots and lots of communication is the key


_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/13/2013 1:24:48 AM   
LillyBoPeep


Posts: 6873
Joined: 12/29/2010
Status: offline 		Long distance (especially international) can be tough, but it can work out well - you just both have to put in equal effort.
I got a couple of years of experience with this with my ex in the UK. We were both users of a particular forum, so we would talk there, or on an instant messaging program, or we'd call. And when we could, we'd visit each other. But mostly just LOTS and lots of talking. He had a webcam but I didn't; I did have a digital camera so I took pictures of my house and the city and all sorts of random crap like rocks I found. Just stupid stuff that I would probably show someone who was there with me in person, you know?
And we'd always send each other things, again - sometimes really silly, random things that someone who didn't get it would just think "why?" haha =p

Because that stuff is all you have to fill the gap in the absence of the other.

See if she can get skype on a borrowed computer - it makes a lot of this a lot easier, or so I've heard.
Or after you guys get to know each other better, you can go in on one together. They're pretty inexpensive these days.

_____________________________

Midwestern Girl

"Obey your Master." Metallica


(in reply to Dygash)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Long Distance Communication Strategies - 3/15/2013 8:40:08 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dygash

I'm really not in the mood for these kinds of comments. Anyone posting, please keep on topic. Thank you.


Your mood is a moot point on these boards. You start a thread, you get whatever comments people decide to post.

You don't dictate anything here.

(in reply to Dygash)
Profile   Post #: 29
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