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RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 5:19:43 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

Good point... thanks, it's comforting. I know I must really seem stupid, but I'm just so deceived and fed up that it happens all the time.


I'll be honest. You allowed it to happen. You had a sexual discussion with a stranger instead of shutting it down. Then got upset when sexual conversation got him excited and he asked for more.

You'd be surprised how saying "I don't discuss my sex life with people I don't know" will weed out the wankers.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Asyra)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 7:11:07 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		He got excited and started thinking with the small head. You told him to stop and he did. Now see what the next conversation is like. If he repeatedly goes too fast that's one thing, if it's just the one time that's another. Everyone makes mistakes. The better ones don't repeat them.

With that said, he's allowed to want to know if you're sexually compatible before wasting three months time on you. So did you tell him when he's allowed to talk sexually to you? And did he agree to allow you to control his sexuality in the meantime?

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Profile   Post #: 22
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 7:35:36 PM   
DomMeinCT


Posts: 2355
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

You'd be surprised how saying "I don't discuss my sex life with people I don't know" will weed out the wankers.



I'll heartily second that. And if they don't self-select after they read that in your profile or respond to it in conversation, you can cut off the conversation (and not invest more time or emotion) with confidence knowing that you're not moving forward with someone who ignored your wishes from day 1.

_____________________________

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
~ Carl Jung

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 9:34:33 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Yes you are right. Move on.


_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Asyra)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: what would you do? - 3/9/2013 10:05:38 PM   
Sirspassion


Posts: 57
Joined: 4/4/2007
Status: offline 		I am happy to see that you posted this question. I always feel a little arrogant to say right up front, I'm sorry I do not wish to get sexual with you... It seems that it is not arrogant at all but simply a way to 'weed out the wankers' :). Good job for you reaching out and getting advice, i had neither the courage nor the confidence to ask.

thank you sincerely.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 8:56:13 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		In what way is asserting one's boundaries "arrogant"? Don't we all have a right to that?

Nor is it "arrogant" for a dom to assault that boundary if he doesn't like it. Then it becomes a win/lose thing. If he is actually dominant over the other person he wins. Otherwise he loses. Then we know the truth of the D/s dynamic.... sans agreements and roles.

I think the arrogant thing has to do with role-based D/s, eg: "as a sub/slave I should not...."

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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Profile   Post #: 26
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 10:12:09 AM   
Dyfrynt


Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

No, I was just sure of this one. And I think the fact that I'm under lots of stress atm didn't help in judging.


Of all your comments this is the one that is most alarming to me. How did you come to that conclusion by a phone conversation? I'd really like to hear your answer to that.

Please also understand that lots-of-stress should never be used as an excuse for hasty judgment. If you are under that much stress that you cannot think clearly, now is not the time to be looking. Take a break until things settle down a bit.

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to Asyra)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 4:33:51 PM   
Heavenly1


Posts: 12
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I have run into similar situation. though we met several times and then I went to his place and once he had me I was forgotten and he fell asleep...I left without him knowing as he was asleep. I know as a sub not always will we get pleasure but it really made me feel insulted, and vety unattractive. I told him of my feelings the next day he told me I was making a mole hill out of nothing and has not contracted me again. Now I thought u supposed to express something when it bothers u to the Dom and we were to discuss it...

(in reply to Dyfrynt)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 4:39:04 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Heavenly1

I have run into similar situation. though we met several times and then I went to his place and once he had me I was forgotten and he fell asleep...I left without him knowing as he was asleep. I know as a sub not always will we get pleasure but it really made me feel insulted, and vety unattractive. I told him of my feelings the next day he told me I was making a mole hill out of nothing and has not contracted me again. Now I thought u supposed to express something when it bothers u to the Dom and we were to discuss it...


How is that even remotely the same?

She was having a conversation with a stranger that asked to her to masturbate on the cam and got butt hurt when she said no.

In your case, I would say that you're involved with someone doesn't really care what you think....which means that you should probably re-think who you get involved with.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Heavenly1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 8:37:59 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		So he fell asleep after you had sex with him. So? Honey, I'm gonna let you in on a secret. All men fall asleep after sex, at least every man I have ever known and that's quite a lot.

I think you sneaking out and not sticking around was more tacky to be honest. It makes you sound like you wanted the sex and nothing else...wham bam thank you Ma'am and I'll call you.

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Nothing has changed
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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 9:03:22 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline 		Are you new to male female relationships? It's called "sweet talking." Men's manliness is often judged on how good we are at it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse


quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all....



Seriously?!?!? Are you new to the internet?


(in reply to LaTigresse)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 9:10:09 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		Hell, I fall asleep after sex...and if it's really good, I even start snoring.

Also, even if it's a booty call, I leave a little note on a napkin. It's good manners.

As for the OP, I just posted this on another thread, but it bears repeating -- until you meet someone offline, it's just wank fodder. They could shoot Skittles out of their ass, but I am not putting my heart in it until I can smell or touch the person. It saves valuable time and energy.

< Message edited by absolutchocolat -- 3/11/2013 9:23:30 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 9:13:31 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat
They could shoot Skittles out of their ass, but I am not and do not put my heart in it until I can smell or touch the person. It saves valuable time and energy.


I love this!


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: what would you do? - 3/11/2013 9:24:07 PM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		LOL, thanks. I love Skittles.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: what would you do? - 3/12/2013 12:36:47 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		Remember Dominant does not mean Decent... When I first joined here someone pointed out I was romanticizing doms.. they are still people and each one still has or lacks morals, values, strengths, weaknesses. Go on a vanilla dating site and you will see the same thing..men who will say what you want then, if they think you are buying it..will revert to form

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: what would you do? - 3/12/2013 2:20:25 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Heavenly1

I have run into similar situation. though we met several times and then I went to his place and once he had me I was forgotten and he fell asleep...I left without him knowing as he was asleep. I know as a sub not always will we get pleasure but it really made me feel insulted, and vety unattractive. I told him of my feelings the next day he told me I was making a mole hill out of nothing and has not contracted me again. Now I thought u supposed to express something when it bothers u to the Dom and we were to discuss it...


Sweetie, it doesn't sound like he is your Dom. It sounds like you were his booty call.

Additionally, if your expectation is that you get an orgasm, you should discuss this ahead of time. Ditto for aftercare.


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(in reply to Heavenly1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: what would you do? - 3/14/2013 3:02:44 PM   
Theservileone


Posts: 24
Joined: 3/21/2010
Status: offline 		I say block his troll ass.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: what would you do? - 3/14/2013 3:16:06 PM   
tazzygirl


Posts: 37833
Joined: 10/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

Hell, I fall asleep after sex...and if it's really good, I even start snoring.


My feeling is... if I can still walk enough to make it out the door after sex, it wasnt good to begin with and I definitely wont go back for more.

_____________________________

Telling me to take Midol wont help your butthurt.
RIP, my demon-child 5-16-11
Duchess of Dissent 1
Dont judge me because I sin differently than you.
If you want it sugar coated, dont ask me what i think! It would violate TOS.

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: what would you do? - 3/18/2013 9:23:19 PM   
darkangel66


Posts: 7
Joined: 9/28/2012
Status: offline 		Kick him... Don't waste your time, your energy or your resources on this guy.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: what would you do? - 3/18/2013 9:57:26 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: UnholyBear


quote:

ORIGINAL: Asyra

Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all....



The reality is anyone is able to say anything they want while sitting behind a keyboard. They can portray themselves to be a paragon of virtue one until they are called on their bullshit and lies. Sad fact is many of the male species derive a twisted pleasure of talking a damn good speech simply to get their dick wet.

Oh you've met my ex?

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to UnholyBear)
Profile   Post #: 40
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