what would you do?

what would you do? (Full Version)

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Asyra -> what would you do? (3/9/2013 12:43:04 PM)
You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one?

LaTigresse -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 12:46:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asyra You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one? All of that in one conversation or over the course of many conversations? If one conversation......I'd forget the troll exists.

MissBlueangel -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 12:47:11 PM)
Well firstly you never met a dom You talked on line to a HNG There it is

Asyra -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 12:48:53 PM)
Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all....

LaTigresse -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 12:50:58 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asyra Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all.... Seriously?!?!? Are you new to the internet?

Asyra -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 12:53:02 PM)
No, I was just sure of this one. And I think the fact that I'm under lots of stress atm didn't help in judging.

JeffBC -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 12:56:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asyra Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. Why not? Let's think this through. How long do you think the average manipulative guy can maintain the charade before getting onto the sex topic? I'd have to guess it's "more than one conversation". I generally don't think I'm even BEGINNING to see the real person until after the 3rd conversation and that's assuming the person is both honest and authentic. If we posit someone trying to manipulate... well... then I'm not at all convinced I could catch someone good at it over the internet. This guy, obviously, wasn't very good LOL

Asyra -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:01:15 PM)
Good point... thanks, it's comforting. I know I must really seem stupid, but I'm just so deceived and fed up that it happens all the time. I guess I just wanted to hear that I haven't lost my grip on reality since they really are like that...

JeffBC -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:07:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asyra Good point... thanks, it's comforting. I know I must really seem stupid, but I'm just so deceived and fed up that it happens all the time. I guess I just wanted to hear that I haven't lost my grip on reality since they really are like that... I don't know which "they" you mean but I sure as hell hope it isn't "male dominants". Look, BDSM has got a HUGE focus on kinky sex. It's no surprise that guys interested in kinky sex first and foremost flock to it. Hell, it's no surprise that there's lots of women like that in BDSM also. If that's not what you want then you'll need to do some sifting. Be careful about getting jaded though. Nothing will turn me off of a profile faster than long diatribes about how awful doms are.

Asyra -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:11:45 PM)
Don't worry, just a moment of frustration. No, "they" aren't all like that. I have hope.

lizi -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:14:43 PM)
Forget him, he said one thing and did another. He is a liar and a manipulator. If he wasn't, he'd not have contradicted himself in a first conversation. It's the old game of telling a girl you love her to get into her pants - tell her what you think she wants to get where you want to go. It's like all of the guys on here that morph instantly into what they think you want so they'll get sexual activity. There's always some disconnect for me when a guy turns out to be something he said he is not, because I give people the benefit of the doubt. I am honest, and for some reason I usually assume others are too, until they show me they are not. He showed you unequivocally that he is just like every other man who wants a quick wank, why change him into something he is not? Take him at his word and move on if it's not what you want.

Asyra -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:19:03 PM)
Thanks lizi, I will. Will be more alert the next time, too.

JeffBC -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:21:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: lizi He showed you unequivocally that he is just like every other man who wants a quick wank, why change him into something he is not? Take him at his word and move on if it's not what you want. nods I like this line of reasoning. Without anyone getting judgmental about it, this guy demonstrated that his elapsed time from "hi" to "i want to fuck you" is a few hours. By most people's definitions we would call that "looking for easy, casual sex". If that's not you, then look elsewhere.

Asyra -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:23:50 PM)
Yes :) thanks for bearing with me!

ARIES83 -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 1:27:33 PM)
Your not going to know the person over the internet. If you didn't know that before you should start knowing that now. You might be able to weed out some of the more obvious bad eggs, but how well do you really know anyone, really... I think what you would like is a method to separate the good from the bad, but in reality, there isn't really that black and white devision, sure there are good and bad but theres also good And bad, it all comes down to what you are willing to accept and understanding that it works in reverse aswell. In my opinion, it's as much a matter of being smart about your choices as it is about dumb luck. So I guess all I can offer is, you can't judge a book by it's cover, but if the cover says: "I'm going to torture & furk your pig/slut meat." And your looking for love poetry, the cover may provide some clues to help you in your search. Best of luck!

AthenaSurrenders -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 2:27:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asyra You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one? I think I would say 'thank goodness you showed your true intentions before I wasted any time on you! You almost had me fooled into thinking you wanted more than cyber sex.'

HisPet21 -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 4:16:00 PM)
Yeah, he's just your typical wanker. He may be a little smarter than many of the others--after all, he knew enough to tell you "friendship first, sex later"--but in the end, he couldn't keep it in his pants for more than a few hours. So, he is both manipulative and lacks self control. Drop him, and never look back.

UnholyBear -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 4:40:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asyra Sigh... I think so too... I just can't believe this happened after all he said. I don't get it. Maybe they do have 2 brains after all.... The reality is anyone is able to say anything they want while sitting behind a keyboard. They can portray themselves to be a paragon of virtue one until they are called on their bullshit and lies. Sad fact is many of the male species derive a twisted pleasure of talking a damn good speech simply to get their dick wet.

Asyra -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 4:48:58 PM)
Thanks guys! Got that reality check :)

OsideGirl -> RE: what would you do? (3/9/2013 5:12:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Asyra You meet this Dom who seems to be intelligent and polite, he talks about first building friendship to build trust, which is the base for a BDSM-relationship. You think - nice, someone whose brain is in their head, not between their legs. So you talk for a few hours and towards the end he doesn't stop talking of how he would torment you, fuck you etc. and then he goes: Let me see you masturbate. switch on the cam. - So that's where your trust crumbles, you say no, and he doesn't say much more than - okay, you don't know me, I understand, fair enough. Later he logs off. Now am I right in deciding to forget this one? Yup.

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