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New to this - 3/10/2013 3:27:28 PM

MasterXDominator

Posts: 1
Joined: 3/1/2013
Status: offline

I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women. I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.

Post #: 1

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 3:29:58 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Right now, you're probably submissive women repellant to some. Very much the case for those where "new to this" and "Master" are at the opposite ends of the spectrum.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 2

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 3:30:24 PM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
Status: offline

How about not calling yourself a master in one breath, and then admitting you have no idea what you're doing because you're new. Nothing inherently wrong with either of those things, but put them together and things don't quite add up.

_____________________________

HBIC

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 3

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 3:47:34 PM

smartsub10

Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

How do you attract women in general? Start with that.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 4

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 4:20:08 PM

lizi

Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline

In your profile you say that you are new, but also say that you are strict and that you will punish for wrong doing, and this is wiping out your chances before you ever get to Go. If you don't know what you are doing, and are telling me that you're going to be aggressively hands on, then I'm going to avoid you like the plague as I'm not going to end up in the emergency room because you decided to jump in and act out the part of a Dom.

You're asking a lot to tell submissives up front that you don't know what you are doing, and yet you're going to be treating them with a heavy hand. It's like never having a driving lesson and announcing you're going to sign on to Nascar. You want to sound like you know what you're doing with the profile statements on Dominantion, but you don't actually know what you're doing. Get yourself straight with coming across like you are on the same page with both things, and maybe someone will give you a shot at starting out with a few things on the easier end of the BDSM scale; you don't jump in and start threatening to punish people.

You also have interests listed in your profile that imply that you know bondage, canes, crops, breast play, spanking, mental bondage, etc...if you haven't done these things in real life get them out of your profile, or check them as being "curious about" if you like the sound of it and haven't done it yet. Whips???? Wtf! Whips are so far out of your skill level that you don't even know how ridiculous it is that you have them listed in your interests without a 'curious about' notation. People study with a whip for a loooong time before doing them on someone. Just seeing that listed, whips, I'd laugh and block you so I wouldn't forget later on that you were utterly out of your league here, and would do me some serious harm if I allowed you to be in my presence.

Honestly Dude, nothing really makes you look like a wanna be more than misrepresenting yourself, and submissive women don't find that Domly. They're careful about who they give access to their bodies. We're the ones taking on damage if you dont know what the hell you are doing. Who will believe you or grant you respect as a Dominant if you show you cannot be honest with them by the misrepresentation? You're coming across as a HNG by labeling yourself a Master and then listing things as though you've had experience. Some women might give you a chance if you're honest, and give them some reason to want to get to know you as a person.

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 5

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 4:22:04 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

You could start by not calling yourself a Master. The second part would be treat women as women first, submissive second.

I would suggest reading some of the books that are on the reading list here. (Resident Sadist has a link in his posts). Get out into your local community and attend events. And lastly, find yourself a male Dominant that has had a successful D/s BDSM relationship and ask them to be a mentor.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to smartsub10)

Post #: 6

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 5:27:16 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Right now, you're probably submissive women repellant to some. Very much the case for those where "new to this" and "Master" are at the opposite ends of the spectrum.

This. ^^^^

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 7

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 5:45:17 PM

poise

Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator

I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women.

Be authentic. Trying to attract someone via use of a script will never work in the long run.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator
I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.

Regardless of whether you are a dominant man or a purple polka dotted man, "getting into all this stuff"
isn't going to be easy without a partner to get into it with, and as you are learning, simply saying you are
dominant isn't magically luring submissive women to your feet.

Find some specific interests in "all this stuff" and learn more about them. Perhaps you'll find a girl
along the way who likes you for you, and would be willing to try them with you.

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 8

RE: New to this - 3/10/2013 5:59:29 PM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

OP. Think of the term Master like the old school guilds. A Master in whatever skill didn't earn that title until he had years of hands-on experience and instruction from the best in the business.
A person using the title Master when he is new is sure fire sub repellent. I've been doing this off and on for a bit over 30 years and still don't consider myself Master anything. I'm just a Dominant. I feel I'm a good one mostly because I know my limitations.

< Message edited by Hillwilliam -- 3/10/2013 6:00:14 PM >

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to poise)

Post #: 9

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 6:09:09 AM

Dominus4u

Posts: 2
Joined: 7/26/2012
Status: offline

Understand one thing...while we all start someplace, I can appreciate that you are asking for help. However, you are asking for help finding submissive women...not asking for Mentoring. This is what you should be seeking long before collaring a hapless green sub (you'd never get an experienced one...they'd see right through your inexperience).

This is a matter of safety...as a Dominant, you take on responsibilities that need to be regarded with the most serious of consideration and follow-through. It isn't about just getting what you want, when you want it...there is a price for the gift of submission. This is what you should be learning first. You can cause one Hell of a lot of damage to a prospective submissive...not just in a physical sense, but emotionally and mentally.

Again, it is good that you want to learn about this part of who you are, but don't put yourself or any potential submissives in a bad situation by not knowing all you need to before taking on the responsibilities of ownership.

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 10

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 6:17:12 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I've been doing this off and on for a bit over 30 years and still don't consider myself Master anything.

Gee, William, I've been doing this for about ten years off and on and I'm not a Master. I hope in twenty years to be where you are.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 11

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 6:26:51 AM

Killerangel

Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline

Here's a pointer- have you done any reading, watching demos, talking to people who do this, etc? Then do that and find out about the things you have checked off on your profile. For instance Breast Play isn't touching titties, and Bondage isn't as simple as tying someone up - you need to know the safety precautions and what you are doing.

If you know what you are talking about. at least then when you talk to submissive women they might continue a conversation with you. You're probably having a tougher time than need be if you're acting like you know more than you actually do, and they're seeing right through you. Get to know a woman as a person; if they like you, the person, they might get naked with you- no different really then how to get a woman outside of BDSM. The Master title has got to go too, you cant' change it except to start a new profile, and when you do start that new profile, don't put down things that you have no experience in unless you say somewhere that you're interested in those things as opposed to having done them.

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 12

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 7:40:43 AM

Hillwilliam

Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam
I've been doing this off and on for a bit over 30 years and still don't consider myself Master anything.

Gee, William, I've been doing this for about ten years off and on and I'm not a Master. I hope in twenty years to be where you are.

In some areas, Steven, you're way ahead.

_____________________________

Kinkier than a cheap garden hose.

Whoever said "Religion is the opiate of the masses" never heard Right Wing talk radio.

Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 13

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 8:00:30 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

~FRing it~

First rule of dom club is we dont talk about dom club

Second rule of dom club is you dont call yourself Master until you've mastered yourself...and all the stuff that goes along with it. Its more than just an honorific title you bestow on yourself. Its a craft in its own right and something you have to work, learn, and grow into. Ive been doing this for about 18 years myself and I still cant bring myself to refer to myself as a Master (well the female version of it anyway). All I can realistically claim is dominant female. There is always something to learn. For me personally, Ive always held the belief that the titles are bestowed upon us by the submissives. Not something we brand ourselves with and then try to get submissives to buy what we are selling.

As a self confessed "new to all this stuff" dude, what skills have you learned to call yourself Master? I can call myself a master craftsman, but truth be told I dont know shit about power tools, woodworking, or crafting stuff. I like that you are seeming to try to learn (giving you the benefit if the doubt), but Im not about to go trying to help you score with the ladies. Its about more than that. Submissives (be they male or female) are about more than that.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 3/11/2013 8:02:45 AM >

(in reply to Hillwilliam)

Post #: 14

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 8:05:46 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline

Most other people already have addressed the fact that your profile reads as following:

"I want totalitarian control, but I have no fucking clue about what the hell I'm doing".

So I wanted instead to focus on the following bit:

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator

what I should say and do to attract more submissive women

The number one thing any dominant man can do to attract more women is to stop worrying about what he's supposed to say or do to attract more women.

Once you reach the point where you're confident enough to be yourself, just because you're too damn proud and stubborn to be anything else... the women will come.

Until that time, you wont attract any woman who is of the caliber that the above described dominant would even consider putting up with.

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 15

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 8:28:58 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator
I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women. I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.

Step 1: Forget everything you think you know right now. It's wrong. You won't believe me. But it was worth saying.
Step 2: Find someone who actually knows something and HUMBLY ask questions. Here'd be a fine place.
Step 3: Figure out if you are actually dominant based upon the answers to those questions. If not, figure out what you ARE after.
Step 4: Armed with a clear idea of who you are and what you want, rewrite your profile. Try to make it sound like a well balanced adult wrote it.

It might help if you could answer this question. Why, exactly, would anyone be privileged to be punished by you? Be specific. Be concrete.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 16

RE: New to this - 3/11/2013 8:00:22 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

Every time someone makes a post like this I always wonder how they got a date before they got into bdsm.

I mean, the dating thing really is not any different whatsoever. If you couldn't get a date with a "vanilla" you won't get one in bdsm either.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 17

RE: New to this - 3/12/2013 11:33:11 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MasterXDominator

I'm really just getting started with this, and was wondering if anyone could give me any pointers on what I should say and do to attract more submissive women. I am a dominant man and would really like to get more into all of this stuff just having a tough time getting started.

Send em pictures of your massive Johnson.
Always a can't miss lead there...

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to MasterXDominator)

Post #: 18

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