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SacredDepravity -> RE: to Strong (3/13/2013 11:30:39 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
quote:
ORIGINAL: Heavenly1
What if someone says ," you need breaking to get you out of the mindset you been. in for years" and they go this with degrading names..."fst fumb cunt" is that normsl. to me I cringe and instantly get defensive.
There are some "D" types that think if you completely destroy a submissive, that they can re-build them into whatever they want.
Some people get off on humiliation. Very few people can manage to do it with doing harm.
Second, until you have agreed to a dynamic, anybody attempting to engage in humiliation with you has over stepped their bounds.....by a lot.
So, I would suggest when someone tries something like that, just say "No, thank you", block them and close the window.
I totally agree that the namecalling the OP expressed is way over the line...especially if they do not yet have their own dynamic. I was actually kind of with the dominant up until the namecalling started. While for some that might hit all the right buttons, I doubt for many "strong" submissives it is going to be well received.
I have met the type of dominant you've described that that literally want to shatter any appreciable aspect of a submissive and try to scoop it all up and build a whole new person. I haven't met one yet that knew what they were doing and saw far more harm than good come of it, yet that is not how I read the statement.
I read the statement far more as breaking a wild horse to harness its own power to its owner's and its own benefit. I am a similar sort of "strong" submissive. I worked hard to take my life in my own hands for the very first time in my life after too much control had been given to too many for too long. I can be very stubborn to let it go now. I will sometimes hold on with an iron grip not only when I don't trust that someone can handle the responsibility besides me, but also when every evidence has been given that they can, but I am too afraid of handing it over that I may never get it back or be able to once again resume handling it if I do. That needs breaking in me. It may need breaking in the OP. It is breaking a detrimental habit and a coping mechanism run amock. I'd rather have someone help me break it that has my best interest at heart and have their own stakes in my success.
Is the dominant referenced above that person? By the namecalling, I'd say not. Without further investigation it's hard to say though. It may be an attempt to speak the submissive's "language" in a way. It may be that the dominant is a complete and utter idiot. Who knows, really? Taking the dominant and the namecalling out of it for a minute though, the writer may have had a valid point if taken in a more positive manner. Only the OP can say for sure. Do you, OP, think that some of the ways you deal with the world and relationships are habits or defense mechanisms that need breaking in order to establish a healthy relationship? If so, that is something you have to empower yourself to both hear and do. If you honestly think that is not the case, then firmly exercise your boundaries.
SD
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