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Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/15/2013 6:51:06 PM   
trancespottingpl


Posts: 15
Joined: 1/2/2013
Status: offline 		Hey there everyone!

Well thanks for reading... So I joined CM not too long ago and I love it so far! I wanted to post on here because I'd really like to meet a mistress/dominant woman.. I'm really looking more in terms of a BDSM relationship, friends, dating, perhaps long term.. I'm pretty open minded but would really like more something along the lines of dating/ltr with a dominant woman...

So I feel as a man I have a decent bit to offer... I feel that I'm fairly attractive and I have a decent future ahead of me. You can look at my pics and decide for yourself, but as far as my career life atm I'm going to prestigious university for a business degree and will be graduating in May with a bachelor's. I have a decent car, I wear nice clothes, have my own place, have a job etc. which a lot of guys in their 20's actually seem not to have..

However, even though I'm a people person and love sparking up conversations, I seem to have a harder time approaching women. Most of the relationships I've actually been in began with the girl coming onto me, luckily all of them were already into the BDSM thing or seemed to like it when I introduced them into it.. So I thought I'd give the online thing a try.. The last girl I dated and I had a great relationship at first, were in love, and we had a good sex life but she cheated on me and I forgave her the first time but it reoccurred. I'm glad I'm single now though because I can find a girl that will appreciate me for me and I know that I will find "the one" sooner or later.. However, I do miss being dominated and coming home to forced worship and such lol...

That being said, I'm more into the sensual aspect of BDSM, meaning I'm not a big pain slut... I like being degraded, humiliatiated, etc. Some of my favorite BDSM things to do include foot/shoe worship, face sitting, body worship, some spanking, hair pulling, being forced to eat a girl out, those kind of things...

So I guess it boils down to ideally I'd like to find a girl to date and such that's into the same kind of BDSM things that I'm into... she could even be into more intense stuff, that's fine with me and I'm open minded and willing to try new things..
I'm sure this will take time and I could be wrong but I feel like I'll be more likely to find what I'm looking for online than in person.. Like I said, I seem to have trouble approaching girls for whatever reason and also even if I did and we did go on a date, the whole BDSM thing could totally freak her out and think I'm crazy or there's something wrong with my head as some more "vanilla" people would presume...

Well so I just wanted to write that.. I'd really appreciate some help... Maybe "signs" to look for that a girl is into BDSM.. Or maybe guidance on finding a girl that'd be looking for the same thing as me online?? If not this website perhaps another one?? Or perhaps some help in my profile?? I wrote that I'm a switch because I'd rather be honest. However, I'm waaay more subby than domme though... Also, I'm not looking so much for a professional mistress/domme... I'd just like some guidance, pointers, perhaps advice or even stories on how someone met someone where they had a relationship/dated and had a healthy BDSM relationship too... Anything would help lol..

Thanks and sorry for the length of this post..
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/15/2013 10:30:55 PM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		The help you seek is in Ask a Mistress FAQ, especially the Profile Help: How to Attract a Dominant Woman part. Otherwise, your post sounds like a thinly veiled personal ad. Your personal ad does NOT belong in the forums. Your personal ad belongs here.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to trancespottingpl)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/16/2013 1:19:20 PM   
GoddessLeena


Posts: 5
Joined: 2/15/2013
Status: offline 		One thing I think you need to figure out is if you're generally submissive, only want submission in the bedroom or don't want to give up any control at all and only want her to play out the specific fantasies that you find hot. There is nothing wrong with any of those options, but determining what you're looking for will help you to be clearer with the women you're interested in and will help to make sure you don't approach the wrong kind of woman (for example, if you're simply looking to bottom, you don't approach a Domme who's looking for a service oriented sub). If you're a switch you might be better off finding another switch or kinkster, as many Dommes aren't looking for switches. Personally I find that the biggest mistake most "submissive" men make is they get turned on by FemDom porn and think that makes them submissive. It doesn't, it just makes you a kinky bottom. Submission is gaining pleasure from ceding to the will of others and enjoying making others (or one special someone) happy. Again, this isn't me saying being a kinky bottom is a bad thing, just a different expression of sexuality and in fact if you aren't submissive (I have no idea if you are or not, I'm just giving general advice since I know very little about you) it's not the terrible thing it's sometimes made out to be. Dommes are a rare breed and finding one that is compatible is very difficult. If you are indeed a bottom and not submissive, it means that you actually have a bigger pool of dating partners to choose from, even "vanilla" women who will cater to your fantasies as long as you cater to theirs as well. If you are submissive then I suggest instead of focusing on the kinky things that you find hot (humiliation, foot worship, being "forced" to eat pussy...*snort*) that you focus on what you have to offer your potential Domme, how you can make her life easier, how you're willing to serve, what skills you have that would be beneficial to her, what you're willing to learn in order to serve her better, etc.

(in reply to NiceButMeanGirl)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/16/2013 1:31:14 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		Preliminary advice: lose your main profile photo. It makes you look twice as old as you actually are.

Additional advice:

1) Women do not like to be called girls.

2) Your profile should be redone. At present it is merely your life's story and a list of your turn-ons. I don't find anything in there describing what kind of person you really are or what you like in a woman (we're not all the same, even the dominant ones).

3) All the talk about "forced worship" is annoying. It implies that you are immature and that you take porno far too seriously.

< Message edited by Baroana -- 3/16/2013 1:38:54 PM >

(in reply to GoddessLeena)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/16/2013 5:25:37 PM   
seekingOwnertoo


Posts: 1323
Joined: 8/1/2009
Status: offline 		Hi Adrian, and welcome to the boards ...

Honestly it is nice that you at least ask questions ...

Your profile says switch ... right on it ... SO the first question you need to answer .. is why WOULD a Domme be interested in you?

Likely .. very few ... except a few adventurous juniors or seniors in college.

You really have little else to offer ... except perhaps ... a nice butt.

1. First off, you clearly say you are a switch.

2. Like this or not, you come across as arrogant.

3. You really don't have much money either ... and I say this because we all know how wealthy a college student is. Especially working "part time"!


Yet you are a young man, and wish to explore ... so look up the local groups in your area ... go to a few events .. and see how you like it.

Moreover, look for a national group of Domme's .. and go there ... just keep the cockiness under control.


Seriously, you will get the answers you seek meeting people real time and in-person.

Perhaps, some Domme will even find you to be a nice piece of meat for an evenings entertainment.

Good luck on your adventures.






< Message edited by seekingOwnertoo -- 3/16/2013 5:31:23 PM >

(in reply to trancespottingpl)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/16/2013 8:33:26 PM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline 		seekingOwnertoo what is the problem with switches?

(in reply to seekingOwnertoo)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/16/2013 8:37:00 PM   
sharada


Posts: 3
Joined: 9/11/2005
Status: offline 		hello all

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/16/2013 8:47:26 PM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89

seekingOwnertoo what is the problem with switches?



For me, I'm monogamous. I would hate for my partner to have to suppress a part of himself (his submissive side) to be with me. It wouldn't be fair to him.

I would think for Dommes who don't want to share the same would go, plus they wouldn't want him trying to 'turn the tables' on them.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 12:17:05 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89
seekingOwnertoo what is the problem with switches?
I'm not sO2, but I'll give you the answer that I have always given to this question.

Especially on the net, switches get more bad press than just about any other group. There are way too many stories out there about how switches aren't 'sub' enough or not 'Dom' enough. A lot of Dominant women have a friend, or a friend of a friend, who had a relationship with a switch who either didn't want to submit fully, or wanted to turn the tables, or wanted to have both sides of their role preference filled at once, and all of the other stereotypes out there. If we're talking about a top/bottom switch, there are a lot of female tops (especially the newer and not as confident in their topping skills) who complain about the switch they are involved with not being happy with the level of play, etc, etc. A lot of people perceive switches the same way that they do bisexuals. Some automatically think that a person has to be involved with both a male and a female in their lives to be happy.

Keep in mind, I'm not saying this is always accurate. It's much easier to blame 'switch problems' (for lack of a better term) than to say there wasn't compatibility or some other actual relationship type problem. It is, however, definitely out there and that does discourage some Dominant women from dating or having a dynamic with a switch.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 7:40:15 AM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline 		For a switch like me I'am monogamous too.Yes I can submit to a mistress but not lika a submissive.I have pride and some things they want are extremely humiliating and under my level.On other side I'am tristworthy and won't betrayed her if she don't betrayed me or cheat with someone else.Thought if she stayed on my face long time I will bite her lol.If she is a dominant I can't turn her on submission and I'am not interested doing it.

< Message edited by ServiceBoy89 -- 3/17/2013 7:41:55 AM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 8:03:53 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89
For a switch like me I'am monogamous too.Yes I can submit to a mistress but not lika a submissive.I have pride and some things they want are extremely humiliating and under my level.

OK, so just for me to clarify this, you are suggesting that submissives don't have pride? Presumably TPE subs/slaves have even less pride?

It'd have been more accurate to say something like, "My pride and ego are more important to me than my ability to please my partner." I have to tell you that in theory I'm the master in my relationship but I have very little pride when it comes to "that which makes Carol happy". I'm big on making Carol happy. Hell, even admitting that online makes me look less dominant. My pride is suffering the injury just fine.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 8:22:39 AM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline 		JeffBC we are all differend I can't forgive myself if do something I don't like.That's where is my limit and I don't pass it.It sounds may be a bit selfish but this is it.How can I be a full toilet slave or to let her fack me with strapon and call a man after that?If she is the most beautifull woman on the planet I will refuse.I can pleased a normal dominant woman not a supreme dominant.I'am not a doll to do everything she want.

< Message edited by ServiceBoy89 -- 3/17/2013 8:24:11 AM >

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 9:45:24 AM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		Jeff, you're wasting your time. 'service'boy doesn't have a clue what service means and only wants sex.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 9:48:49 AM   
SomethingCatchy


Posts: 796
Joined: 7/29/2008
Status: offline 		OP - Based on your profile I would meet you for a cup of coffee but I'd be reluctant to do anything with you. Why? Because not only are you graduating in May and you don't mention staying in Cinn. but you also want to travel the world. What's in it for me to get to know someone when he's only going to leave constantly and never be around when I actually want him to be?

Perhaps there are dominant women who have the money and passport and nothing else going on in life to travel with you, but I wasted (yes wasted) so many years following a man around. I expect anyone who's interested in ME to stay around and do whatever I want him to do.

_____________________________

I believe in Invisible Pink Unicorns

Everyone is gay for Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 10:00:24 AM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Jeff, you're wasting your time. 'service'boy doesn't have a clue what service means and only wants sex.


Yes I want and sex but not only this lol.I will submit only to the right person.And together we will have fun.That's it dot

< Message edited by ServiceBoy89 -- 3/17/2013 10:04:30 AM >

(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 10:09:40 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Jeff, you're wasting your time. 'service'boy doesn't have a clue what service means and only wants sex.



On his terms only.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to SomethingCatchy)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 11:31:46 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Yeah, I am SO not impressed.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 11:32:19 AM   
ServiceBoy89


Posts: 63
Joined: 10/19/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir


quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

Jeff, you're wasting your time. 'service'boy doesn't have a clue what service means and only wants sex.



On his terms only.


No.We with her will made an agreement.

< Message edited by ServiceBoy89 -- 3/17/2013 11:33:53 AM >

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 8:36:54 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89

seekingOwnertoo what is the problem with switches?

The general view, especially for single men, is they are greedy & trying to increase the odds of kinky sex over actually finding a partner that matches them or their situation.

Hey jeff or kana can you ask the girls how they would feel if their big bad master "forced" oral sex & associated orgasms on them??

< Message edited by theRose4U -- 3/17/2013 8:37:27 PM >

_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Some help attracting a mistress plzz = ) - 3/17/2013 8:44:38 PM   
theRose4U


Posts: 3403
Joined: 8/22/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ServiceBoy89

JeffBC we are all differend I can't forgive myself if do something I don't like.That's where is my limit and I don't pass it.It sounds may be a bit selfish but this is it.How can I be a full toilet slave or to let her fack me with strapon and call a man after that?If she is the most beautifull woman on the planet I will refuse.I can pleased a normal dominant woman not a supreme dominant.I'am not a doll to do everything she want.

Your narrow porn education is sticking out!!
The way submissive men deal with this is called limits. Most are found on the BDSM checklist. It lists "live for" all the way down to "oh hell no, I can't imagine the sicko that likes that"
There will be far more isssues with things "beneath you" in finding a relationship that what someone hypothetically might maybe want up your ass during the search


_____________________________

Finding a good sub is like sifting through trail mix. You find a few fruits, a lotta nuts and have to sift to get to the sweet and special ones
drama llama

(in reply to ServiceBoy89)
Profile   Post #: 20
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