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Ladies your opinion please - 11/9/2004 6:38:37 PM   
feline


Posts: 1101
Joined: 2/23/2004
From: CA
Status: offline 		Ladies . . .

I would like your opinions on a Master/Dom that contacts a collared sub/slave without the consent of her Master/Dom?

Thank you,









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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/9/2004 7:33:44 PM   
velvetvixen


Posts: 378
Joined: 1/19/2004
Status: offline 		I had to think about this one for a minute, then I had to decide if we are discussing online or real time.

If the girl clearly states she is collared, it is not appropriate to contact without Master's consent, I think.

But I could imagine a Master/Dom allowing it because He reads or has access to the girl's email and goes through it so it would be ok. I think the girl should post this in her ad.

In real time it would definately be inappropriate to contact the collared girl directly.

I know I would feel really odd about being contacted without Master knowing about it first.


(in reply to feline)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/10/2004 7:04:43 AM   
newflowers


Posts: 292
Joined: 5/23/2004
Status: offline 		Be it online or in real time, to contact someone fully aware that person in seriously involved with and committed to another is a sign of disrespect to the one he is contacting (she has no honor for her current relationship) and to her partner (he is not worthy of the respect of asking permission).

Unless the one making contact does not know about the relationship, it says nothing good about him at all.

newflowers

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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/10/2004 7:13:08 AM   
aliljaded1


Posts: 121
Joined: 6/20/2004
Status: offline 		i think its a sign of a snake . w/ noooooo repect for either party. it also shows me that he /she has no selfcontrol

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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/10/2004 8:33:44 AM   
perverseangelic


Posts: 2625
Joined: 2/2/2004
From: Davis, Ca
Status: offline 		I think a lot of it depends on the contact itself, and the way said person was presented wherever the contacter met him/her.

ie- If your profile says "we're looking for play partners" or "looking for friends" or even just "I am collared to -x-" then I think that a general, friendly hello, possibly even "I'm interested, how can I contact your dominant partner" Is cool with me.

Most contacts online are fairly non-invasive, IMHO. Trying to strike up a conversation, I like. I even have no problem with expressing interest if the dominant party has no way to contact him/her via the net.


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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/10/2004 11:27:39 AM   
proudsub


Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline 		I think it depends on the purpose of the contact. We have no problem with a dom emailing me with some sort of compliment or question. We don't have contact with other r/l doms so that isn't an issue.

However, when i had an online dom when i first started on this path, he had a big fight with another dom who contacted me in a chat room and whom i later met in r/l. My online dom felt very strongly that the new dom should of asked his permission before sending me a private message and definately before meeting me. It ended up with me being released from my online dom and becoming sub to the r/l one so that i could experience real life submission.

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"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/10/2004 12:49:38 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I would like your opinions on a Master/Dom that contacts a collared sub/slave without the consent of her Master/Dom?


I feel they are rude. Although it happens daily. Doesn't matter if you are online or not. We have to remember though this is not a lifestyle specific problem. It also happens daily in vanilla circles. How many times does a woman or man get hit on when they have a wedding ring on? I've known people in my life who will only hit on those wearing a ring. I put looking for friends within the scene in my profile That doesn't stop at least 10 people on a bad day from contacting me to tell me they want to get to know me better. Or from providing their address and phone number for me.
Rarely does one ever say they are also looking for friends.
It is just society, whether we like it or not there is nothing we can do about it.

(in reply to feline)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 8:38:57 AM   
IndySubPrincess


Posts: 34
Joined: 7/23/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Ok... Here's my two cents, are you ready?

If I am collared and in a chat room, I'm there to talk and be talked to. If on my profile I say that am collared, it's not polite to PM or anything else like that without the prior consent of my Master/Dom/Daddy... As far as web sites like this one, if I say, "I'm a collared slave" any kind of inquision that another Dom would have would be best handled by contacting my Master. I can't see any question that a Dom would have for me that would be appropriate for me to just answer without permission... (What are you into, where do you live, how long have you been in the lifestyle, etc etce etc. You don't need to know that if I am collared, I'm off the market.)

YoungLady/IndySubPrincess

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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 8:51:08 AM   
Destinysskeins


Posts: 267
Joined: 7/1/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings,

Okay, i'm going to voice a slightly different opinion. my Master is not nearly the 'net junkie that i happen to be and is online once in a blue moon (which btw makes the happen chance that we actually met online all the more astounding). Because of this it's understood that i am free to use my own discretion in such matters. If another Dominant contacts me and wishes to exchange techniques, ideas, what have you then - rainbows and lollipops - i've got a new penpal. On the other hand, should another Dominant contact me with an intent to pursue me then - hellfires and demontails - i've got a poor misbegotten soul on which to vent my sometimes considerable amount of pent up agression! Long story short - i'm not a pampered pet which needs constant protection from online marauders, i'm quite capable of dealing with HNGs on my own.

Well wishes!

(in reply to IndySubPrincess)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 9:05:09 AM   
GoddessJules


Posts: 549
Status: offline 		Okay. . .here is my opinion.

You probably have heard me say this time and time again. . .but I'll say it again anyways. I feel that subs/slaves aren't naive children walking around the face of the earth cluelessly. With that said, shit happens in the world that are outside of your control. One of those things is the behavior of others. . .in the specific case we are discussing. . .other dominants contacting owned/collared slaves submissives. It happens. It isn't something exclusive to BDSM. . .people "contact" married people. . .engaged people. . .people who have significant others. My boys know what to do. Period. That is all that I can count on. I'm not going to go off on some ridiculous online tirade (because I'm thinking this is directed toward online dynamics. . .I can't imagine my boys being out and about and being approached by someone out of the blue.)

Further, they have blank profiles, don't post on message boards, and don't go into chat. It isn't something I insist on. . .they see no reason to participate in that manner. So in a nutshell. . .if someone contacts one of my boys. . .I don't trip. This is the INTERNET and I don't believe that there is an "internet lifestyle" and "honor among netizens" blah blah blah. . .so I take it as S.O.P. It's gonna happen and no sense in me getting upset about it.

Jules

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(in reply to feline)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 6:08:58 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

If I am collared and in a chat room, I'm there to talk and be talked to


Ok, I have to say. I know just about zero about anything online. Yeah, I know how to build a pc. Program one. I know how to use a great many programs within one. However over the years myself and chat rooms have never really gotten along much. Too many uncontrollable children in all of the one's I have been in.

I've used instant message programs to chat with friends, it just happens to be chat rooms.

Anyway, to get to my question here. How does one know if you are collared in a chat room? Is there some sort of symbol or something you can put on your name?

(in reply to IndySubPrincess)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 6:46:22 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		yes there is a symbol you can put on your nick in a chat room.......

you can use either your nick{Dom's nick here} or for R/L collars you can put your nick[Dom's nick here].

this slave is collared R/L and has her nick on irc as cariad[ST] for SirTigerman

this slave gets many pm's and instant messages on yahoo and msn to chat from Dom's. as long as they are respectful and don't try to get this slave away from her Master things are fine, however if they want to play she sends Master an email with the details of what they want and if they are just out to take her from her Master she tells them she is happy with Master and that if they want a slave/sub of their own to go find one.

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The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to sub4hire)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 7:28:57 PM   
danae


Posts: 46
Joined: 1/2/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: feline

Ladies . . .

I would like your opinions on a Master/Dom that contacts a collared sub/slave without the consent of her Master/Dom?



I don't think it should come as a surprise to either a sub or her Dom. lol Mine has told me what do do, and I follow his directions.

danae

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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 9:15:49 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		it depends on what the "DIQ" has in mind when contacting a collared slave if it is merely to chat and her Master has told her that she is to get permission then she needs to tell the "DIQ" that He needs to seek her Master's permission and leave it at that. however, if the slave/sub's Master has told her she may chat as long as it is nothing more than chat, she needs to let the "DIQ" know she is collared, and also make it clear as day that she has no intentions of leaving her current Master. "JMO"

this slave recently had this problem where a Dom approached her online in yahoo, telling her that He wanted her for himself and she told him she was quite happy being with her current Master. he kept telling her how beautiful she is, how she is a good slave blah blah blah, well she told Him to respect her wishes or she would delete him from her list, put him in ignore bin and then let her Master deal with it if he kept it up.

luckily this Dom got the hint and hasn't bothered her since, but she knows that she is pretty, smart, a good slave and doesn't need a Dom to butter her up so he can get in her pants.






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The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to danae)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/11/2004 10:19:44 PM   
LadySonelle


Posts: 280
Joined: 8/24/2004
From: Santa Fe NM
Status: offline 		Any Dom who contacts a sub or slave without that sub's Dom's consent (diagram THAT sentence!) is in the wrong IF they do not know the sub or slave is owned and collared.

For example: My own beloved lifepartner/slave is now registered on this website. She has my direct permission to seek a male Dominant to play with and I have said that those who wish to contact her, may do so directly, or through Me, their choice. Had I NOT said that, and had somebody approached her, I would be annoyed with the breach in custom.

The only claim to innocence a Dom/me would have on approaching a collared/owned slave would be that s/he did not know the slave was owned or had their Dom/me's permission to interact.

Actually, at play parties, I always check for a collar before speaking to any slave. If no collar is in evidence, I ask them "Are you owned or are you free to play?" It's the rough equivalent of a guy checking for a wedding band on a woman's hand.

Lady Sonelle

(in reply to feline)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/12/2004 12:59:19 PM   
inadazey


Posts: 69
Joined: 10/7/2004
Status: offline 		I know a few doms who knew me before my collaring, and have continued to actively pursue me since (and encouraged me to leave my Master, etc). There are also some who try to pursue me when they first talk to me, even though I make it very clear that I am collared. I think it is SO inappropriate to pursue someone who is collared!! And to try to break up the relationship.... GRRRR. (and btw, as soon as anything like that happens, i take care of it on my own: end contact; add to s**tlist; thank you; goodbye! :P)

As to just contacting, I think that depends on what your and your Master's rules are. Personally, my Master knows I'm friendly with a lot of dom/mes and subs I've gotten to know online, and that I talk to them. He knows it's nothing more than friendship, and doesn't want deprive me of the enjoyment I get from chatting with the dom/mes i consider to be friends.

So, my opinion is that if it's clear to other doms that you are not allowed to have contact with them unless it goes through your Sir, any respectable dom will follow that. If not, as long as they only contact you as friends, and stop if you tell them it is against the rules, I, personally, don't see a problem with it. But, really, it all depends on *your* relationship, rules, and feelings about it, I think.

< Message edited by inadazey -- 11/12/2004 1:11:05 PM >

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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 11/12/2004 3:24:21 PM   
cariad


Posts: 943
Joined: 9/25/2004
From: Calgary, Alberta
Status: offline 		this slave agrees with the post above hers, and couldn't have said it any better herself.

this slave checks with Master before even adding a Dom to her list of friends on messengers because she wants Him to know what is happening and why the "DIQ" sent her private message. it also adds to the trust she has with Master and let's Him know she is making it known that she is a collared slave to the "DIQ"



_____________________________

The Path To Being A Good slave Takes Hard Work, A Willingness To Learn, Ability To Take Criticism and the Ability To Take Punishments Well. i Am Still Learning So Please Be Patient With me, As i Walk the Path to Being A good slave. SLRN: 742 958 000

(in reply to inadazey)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 12/5/2004 2:06:17 AM   
Wolfsbabygirlz


Posts: 37
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		greetings ....if collared it shows great disrespect to you Dom should anyone else contact you. Ive had a major problem having Doms do this knowing im under collar of consideration. says to me that they arent real Doms or they'd know better and show respect. It is not permitted to have Doms contact you when collared period.
Wolfsbabygirlz =)

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Ladies your opinion please - 12/5/2004 7:49:57 AM   
softysub


Posts: 101
Joined: 10/20/2004
Status: offline 		I agree with you IndySubPrincess.

In my experience no matter online or r/l, the Dom would Pm My Master (at that time) for any questions, and not go thru me. Alot of times, that this occured, the Dom would tell me no need to go thru Your Master, that told me that this Dom was fake, but then again, it depends on what rules were set up by Your Master, some dont mind and some do mind if their sub/slave are being PMd by another Dom.

softysub
quote:

ORIGINAL: IndySubPrincess

Ok... Here's my two cents, are you ready?

If I am collared and in a chat room, I'm there to talk and be talked to. If on my profile I say that am collared, it's not polite to PM or anything else like that without the prior consent of my Master/Dom/Daddy... As far as web sites like this one, if I say, "I'm a collared slave" any kind of inquision that another Dom would have would be best handled by contacting my Master. I can't see any question that a Dom would have for me that would be appropriate for me to just answer without permission... (What are you into, where do you live, how long have you been in the lifestyle, etc etce etc. You don't need to know that if I am collared, I'm off the market.)

YoungLady/IndySubPrincess


(in reply to IndySubPrincess)
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RE: Ladies your opinion please - 12/6/2004 11:17:17 AM   
EStrict


Posts: 729
Joined: 1/11/2004
Status: offline
quote:

yes there is a symbol you can put on your nick in a chat room.......

you can use either your nick{Dom's nick here} or for R/L collars you can put your nick[Dom's nick here].


That, of course, depends on your medium. AOL is one of the biggest online providers. It doesn't not allow characters like { or [.


I also don't think as poorly as others do if someone *contacts* someone who is owned or collared. Maybe it's just what I consider contact. Why in the world is it it in anyway insulting to my dominant for someone to tell me hi or to ask me a polite question? He trusts me to be able to chat without begging every man I talk to to take me for goodness sake. And he knows I'm perfectly able to take care of the ones who DO overstep. Most importantly, he trusts me to know that I can *just* talk, and enjoy it...

For those who contact with *wanna fuck* or *on your knee's bitch*,, well, it doesn't matter if you are collared or not, unless your profile says you crave deep humiliation from all, they are just acting like immature asses (IMO).


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Sandy

Don't take life too seriously, no one gets out alive anyway...

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