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RE: regarding love - 3/23/2013 10:13:25 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AubsGirl
i was meerly trying to make sure I didnt break protocol

What protocol? That is a serious question. You make it sound like there's some sort of BDSM governing council that has laid out the one true way. There isn't. If there were all the actually dominant people would immediately opt out of BDSM and take up another label instead.

You would do yourself a great service by letting go of the concept that there are any rules beyond those made by the participants in the relationship.

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Post #: 21

RE: regarding love - 3/24/2013 7:00:16 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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You know you've been a couple for a long time when you can't even remember who said "I love you" first

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Post #: 22

RE: regarding love - 3/25/2013 7:59:16 AM

theshytype

Posts: 1600
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My husband and I have been together for 15 years and I still recall when and where - I said it first.
I've never really sweated over saying it. If it scared him and he jumped ship, not a big deal. Just would have meant he didn't feel the same. To me, it's best to know so I can move on if need be.
I did, however, start to sweat until 2 weeks later when he finally returned the sentiment. It was at that point I realized just how stubborn he is. And he's not one to freely express his emotions, whereas I do.

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Post #: 23

RE: regarding love - 4/1/2013 5:53:51 PM

MrRodgers

Posts: 10542
Joined: 7/30/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AubsGirl

thanks for the advice guys. I really appreciate it.

Do you need the words ? Does he need the words. If you do, say them, tell him. If he doesn't, he'll let you know.

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Post #: 24

RE: regarding love - 4/1/2013 7:12:24 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
If it turns out he doesn't love you, wouldn't you rather know now?
Tell him, and ask him why he writes it but doesn't say it, because it's important for you to hear this.

I agree with this.

AubsGirl tell him how you feel, and stop holding yourself back. If you find out he is running from the words, because he doesn't want the love/commitment, than I imagine, you would prefer to know sooner than later. If you don't want to rock the boat, and can tolerate this frustration, than go with that. I hate to give advice, because not anyone is willing to find the truth, regardless of where it leads.
Good luck, M

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RE: regarding love - 4/2/2013 4:17:36 AM

Rattenkonig

Posts: 25
Joined: 2/22/2013
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my god. I know that feel. I find the D/s aspect makes it a million times worse because of the feelings you get as a sub and it gets painful. Maybe give things some more time and talk to him directly about your feelings?

(in reply to LafayetteLady)

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Post #: 26