Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

How much merit do you put in a picture?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How much merit do you put in a picture? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 10:07:29 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I am very curious about people's experiences or how much clout they put into things.

If you saw someones picture or even cam and didnt feel instant chemistry, would that affect you meeting them if you liked them in every other single way?

I know in the past, if I didnt feel that physical attraction from the look, it just didnt work out. I am curious to learn if anyone felt like that but after meeting the person it changed?

P.S. NO, I am not looking for anyone.



< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 3/21/2013 10:08:19 AM >

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 10:18:43 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline 		I've always been far more attracted to brains and talent than faces and bodies. If you can engage my mind you can capture my heart.

Even in high school and college, when I was much thinner and younger, I tended to go for the musician or artist or writer over the pretty-boy jock.

< Message edited by searching4mysir -- 3/21/2013 10:19:30 AM >

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 10:25:16 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		CHemistry is such a weird thing or physical attraction.

LOng time ago I had a BF who I thought was magnificient! TO me he was, but my sister said to me yrs later "GOd that guy was ugly!" hahahha.



_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 10:29:17 AM   
Dyfrynt


Posts: 202
Joined: 4/19/2011
Status: offline 		I try not to put too much emphasis on a picture. Some people do not photograph well! I'm not going to pretend that looks aren't important to me. It is, however, but one of many criteria that I pay attention to. The whole package has to be there for me to be interested.

Looks alone would never cut it with me. Don't care if she looks like a goddess if she is also full of herself, expects to be spoiled, doted upon, etc.

_____________________________

Equal in Worth, just Not in Power.

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 10:34:23 AM   
subinsilicon


Posts: 108
Joined: 1/7/2013
Status: offline 		Most of the best pics are fakes if you look them up in a reverse image search.

Assuming you negate those, then I find the pictures useful to weed out people I would not wish to be with.

Then, at that point, the picture is just an idea, like so many words, to start a relationship from.

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 11:12:43 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		I'm not looking but from past experiences:

My now-husband's photos were kinda crappy - he's just not photogenic, always feels a bit awkward posing or flashing a smile for the camera. He wasn't unattractive, but in the photos he was just Mr Average, blend into the background. In person, when I can see his reactions and expressions, when he's relaxed and when his smile is genuine - that did it for me. So I wouldn't dismiss someone based on their photo. I do think physical attraction has a role to play, I just don't think a photo gives you much more than an idea of what the person looks like.

Then again, I do consider photos a valuable tool because they often give a lot of clues about the person. Where it was taken, their pose, their expression, their clothes - they all tell you something about the type of person they are and what they prioritize. For example, no matter how gorgeous a guy might be, if his photos show a filthy living environment, are all vain mirror shots/cock shots, all seem to have a beer in his hand - he's not likely to be a match for me. On the other hand, if he's playing a musical instrument or a sport, or has a range of photos all taken in different places, it will spark an interest. A lot of it comes down to effort too - if you can't be bothered to change out of your stained sweatsuit for your dating profile photo I'm not convinced you will make a big effort in other areas.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 3:15:03 PM   
slaveboihere


Posts: 26
Joined: 3/14/2013
Status: offline 		Photo's are a help, no more. As has been said above, its just a part of helping you put together something of the whole package. And a nice package is always appealing.....I do find it offputting when someone has no photo at all on their profile; or if its a cartoon image or something. But its true that people are more or less photogenic; I don't come out spectacularly well in pics myself - I mean, in person, I'm just drop dead gorgeous........well, I think so........So if its a nice pic, and not one stolen from some model's site, it may well attract me. But wether I want to pursue anything will depend on what the profile says and how it says it too.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 3:47:15 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24
I am very curious about people's experiences or how much clout they put into things.

I would not feel any sort of chemistry for a photo. Body type would be something which gets a veto vote if I find it unappealing but can never got a "yes" vote. It's the human inside the skin that would attract me. Overall when I'm evaluating a partner I look at a wide variety of characteristics and whoever the prospective is must get a passing grade in all of them.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 3:48:30 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		Like most guys, looks are important to me. But looks aren't everything.

Regardless of how beautiful a woman may be, if she's dumb as a bag of rocks, then I'm not going to be interested. I've never been one of those guys who can date a beautiful bimbo simply because she looks good on my arms. I'd much rather date a woman with average looks who stimulates me intellectually, than date a beautiful woman who only stimulates my loins.

_____________________________

"The thing about smart mother fuckers is that sometimes, they sound like crazy mother fuckers to stupid mother fuckers".
-Robert Kirkman, The Walking Dead

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 3:55:57 PM   
HarryVanWinkle


Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dyfrynt

I try not to put too much emphasis on a picture. Some people do not photograph well! I'm not going to pretend that looks aren't important to me. It is, however, but one of many criteria that I pay attention to. The whole package has to be there for me to be interested.



This is a great point. I can think of a woman I've met several times. In person, her eyes are hypnotically beautiful. In photographs, they look kind of creepy to me.

(in reply to Dyfrynt)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 4:11:05 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline 		While I am also far more attracted to brains and talent than faces and bodies, I do want to see a picture, and I keep in mind that several people have been more attractive than their picture and some used pictures that were 10-15 years old and/or minus 50#.

When my profile was active, I noted that I was at a different weight than in my pictures and that current ones were available.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 4:21:58 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		a picture is a moment in time and only gives a glimpse of the person now how the person is. i don't rule someone out just on looks. i base it more on how the person is and how they interact with me. i like those who have a open mind and willing to exchange ideas

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to kalikshama)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 5:43:22 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I am very visual. I like to know what people look like that I "speak with"...From a romantic angle, I admit to having a specific type of physical look that I find attractive. The thing is, with online dating, you have hundreds of people to choose from. Go on OK Cupid or POF...almost EVERY profile (at least in my geographic region & age range) is identical..every man is easy going, laid back, hates drama, loves the gym & the outdoors... You have to narrow things down so you look at who you think you would find attractive... Now, that is NOT to say that once you email a couple of times you won't realize there is no common interest or intellectual attraction. In person, it is different, you interact & meet people you get to know them as a 3D person..attraction can grow or be lost..

(in reply to LPslittleclip)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 7:00:17 PM   
kdsub


Posts: 12180
Joined: 8/16/2007
Status: offline 		To me it depends on what I am looking for. It may be friendship… or intellectual stimulation…or competition… or sexual companionship. Each of these will obviously require different attributes.

Photos would only come onto play with me in sexual companionship. I look for a certain type of build in a women for sex. It is my preference only and not a judgment on anyone.

Build is not the only attribute of course but it is the first thing I look at...so yes in this circumstance photos are very important.

Butch

_____________________________

Mark Twain:

I don't see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 11:32:20 PM   
seekingreality


Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

I am very curious about people's experiences or how much clout they put into things.

If you saw someones picture or even cam and didnt feel instant chemistry, would that affect you meeting them if you liked them in every other single way?

I know in the past, if I didnt feel that physical attraction from the look, it just didnt work out. I am curious to learn if anyone felt like that but after meeting the person it changed?

P.S. NO, I am not looking for anyone.





If I look at someone's photo and clearly can tell I am not and will never be physically attracted to them, I don't see a point in meeting. If that is unclear to me, I might give them the benefit of the doubt and meet them. But I should also add I don't buy the concept of "liking them in every other single way" based on online or phone interactions only. I take all that stuff with a grain of salt and realize that nothing really starts to matter until you meet. You can exchange a lot of great emails and talk on the phone for hours, and then have zero chemistry when you meet

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/21/2013 11:58:16 PM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		Before I found Miss (who is now my wife), I spent a while searching. Met lots of women with lots of different looks and personalities. I used to say in my profile "looks unimportant", but I found that to be not entirely true. Looks do play a part, but not nearly as big a part as whether or not our personalities click.

(in reply to seekingreality)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/22/2013 1:49:18 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		My face always looks puffy in pics unless I take it myself, so I give people a pass on crappy pics. Recently, I went on a date with a guy from FL and his pics suuuuuuucked...but goddamn if that bastard didn't make my panties moist in person!

(in reply to Muttling)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/22/2013 1:54:58 AM   
Lucylastic


Posts: 40310
Status: offline 		Ive always hated pictures of myself, but since my face is noticeably paralysed on one side, I hate them even more....it doesnt mirror my mind, my thoughts, my personality. It shows the outside... but on the positive side... those who know me, see past the mask, if they cant, I dont need them in my life anyway.

_____________________________

(•_•)
<) )╯SUCH
/ \

\(•_•)
( (> A NASTY
/ \

(•_•)
<) )> WOMAN
/ \

Duchess Of Dissent
Dont Hate Love

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/22/2013 6:21:12 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		I don't know about anyone else but I know from past experiences, I have talked to really good people, and wanted to like them physically too!!!! Even tried too, cause inside they were really great. I even went as far as to meet them to make sure. Cause I think people do take bad pictures sometimes or their mannerisms are attractive in person so it helps with physical attracton.
THe WOW factor is exciting when you have that appeal for someone. But I do think to much emphasize can be put on it, and people will actually stay to keep that feeling, even with an asshat when someone else who doesnt have the WOW factor is actually a much better fit.

FInding that dynamic duo of personality and physical appeal can be quite a search.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Lucylastic)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: How much merit do you put in a picture? - 3/22/2013 6:26:15 AM   
Esinn


Posts: 886
Joined: 6/23/2009
Status: offline 		I can not put merit into photographs. Have you seen mine?

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> How much merit do you put in a picture? Page: [1] 2 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.125