RE: Respecting one another

RE: Respecting one another (Full Version)

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FreetobeSlave -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 11:01:28 AM)
Thanks Catterbox24 it is nice to see a nice welcome. Not sure how long I'll be able to stick around though, it seems as if people will report any one they don't see eyes to eyes with on here.

DomMeinCT -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 11:12:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FreetobeSlave Thanks Catterbox24 it is nice to see a nice welcome. Not sure how long I'll be able to stick around though, it seems as if people will report any one they don't see eyes to eyes with on here. You're mistaken. Your profile was reported not because you disagreed with people on this side in a thread, but because you were in violation of TOS by having had contact information in it (which either you or a mod subsequently removed).

FreetobeSlave -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 11:14:49 AM)
actually it was not my contact information to begin with, I did not even know it was there.

FreetobeSlave -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 11:16:28 AM)
Well the yahoo was, I will admit that, but not the phone number, not sure who's it was.

angelikaJ -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 11:19:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FreetobeSlave Thanks Catterbox24 it is nice to see a nice welcome. Not sure how long I'll be able to stick around though, it seems as if people will report any one they don't see eyes to eyes with on here. When you join you make an agreement to abide by the terms of service (TOS). If someone who reads your profile thinks you have somehow violated them then they are free to report the profile. It has zero to do with not "seeing eye to eye". The site's TOS are important to varying degrees to it's members. Someone reporting a violation is no more personal than your "mistake" in not following the directions... and you should not take it any more personally than we should take your disregard for the TOS.

FreetobeSlave -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 11:40:19 AM)
Okay, my mistake. Done arguing.

lizi -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 12:37:32 PM)
I think at the base of things here you're not quite grasping something, and that is that not everyone is here for the same thing. There are men here, who label themselves Dominant because they want a piece of ass and they think calling themselves a Dominant and dropping off a few messages is how they'll get it. Those kinds of men don't have a problem poaching, in fact that would be smart to them, because it will hopefully lead to the fulfillment of their goal...sex. They have no respect, you're beating your head against the wall assuming that they are at the same jumping off place as you. There are people who are here for the forums or to make friends, why should they answer the requests that they get for sex or kink or entering a relationship? It's not what they want. As far as replies go, sure it would be nice to get them. However no one is bound by social convention to reply, people aren't necessarily being douchebags by not replying. The letter sender may be the wrong sex, age, marital status, orientation, location, etc, than what the letter receiver is looking for- in that case why does the letter sender deserve a reply for sending junk mail? Just because someone writes me, doesn't mean I am looking for whatever it is that they're offering. They chose to write me, I didn't choose that. So what if the sender doesn't get an answer, the fact that they're on this site doesn't mean they are entitled to a response - especially if the contact was unwanted. Then there is the aspect where the letter receiver does write back and is treated abusively, or told that her preferences don't matter. Why the heck should that be responded to? I do many times say no thanks, and sometimes it's taken well, sometimes it's not. Why should I take the chance I'll be called names and abused for responding to a message that i never asked for in the first place? Or that I'll open a message and see some stranger's penis? Or get a message about all the nasty things some stranger wants to do to me? If that seems like a no brainer that one shouldn't have to answer offensive messages, understand that you yourself have no idea what is offensive or unnecessary to that person and just let the angst you have over your unanswered messages or broken off contact go.

chatterbox24 -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 12:39:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl You asked for advice, you were given advice and your response was to shit all over the forums. You expect everyone to forget that you shit all over the boards (not to mention created a sock account to stir up more shit) and then cry victim because we won't forget how you acted. Then just as you're starting to get to the point where you're contributing something of value, you do it all again. Very true all that happened and alot of it was due to a select few making inflammatory comments to fuel someone very upset and confused and I absolutely could not understand why people were being so rude and unfeeling. Thats been a long time ago. YOu feel a need to bring it up and up and up and up. I am way past it, but obviously your not. Frankly I dont care. THis poster obviously felt the same way, felt attacked, and well I wanted them to know not everyone feels the same. ANd some people dont have a problem stating they felt they were unjustly made to feel very unwelcome. I noticed, Im sure others do too, but I just dont have a problem stating it. THis person's reaction was much different then mine, and still people feel the need to go all smarty pants. I had someone go as far as to threaten to call my home on a post a few weeks ago, is that part of TOS? There was no reason for it, other then they have a burr under their saddle and want to call me a liar. I didnt even take the time to respond to it. But I can show ya? You want to see it? LOL. Feel the way you want, I will feel the way I want, and all is well. If you dont like what i write, dont read my posts darling.

Missokyst -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 2:58:22 PM)
Cool, we like friendly people. The only real advice I can offer is this. This is a forum, the other side is more for searching. If people do not answer you, accept it gracefully and move on. There is no need to get annoyed because someone is disrespecting you for not responding. Here, we are all on equal levels. I don't give dominants anymore respect than I would to a submissive. I am polite and that is all that is required (by me). If I do not respond (and currently on the other side I have deliberately not responded to a 3rd mail) it is because I don't wish to. Any more than I would respond to those people who call for surveys, or answer spam I get in snail mail. By implying they are disrespectful not to answer is denying them their own right to ignore. I see no respect in that.

catize -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 3:08:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl You asked for advice, you were given advice and your response was to shit all over the forums. You expect everyone to forget that you shit all over the boards (not to mention created a sock account to stir up more shit) and then cry victim because we won't forget how you acted. Then just as you're starting to get to the point where you're contributing something of value, you do it all again. You forgot the part where she flounced and swore never to return!

OsideGirl -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 3:11:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: catize quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl You asked for advice, you were given advice and your response was to shit all over the forums. You expect everyone to forget that you shit all over the boards (not to mention created a sock account to stir up more shit) and then cry victim because we won't forget how you acted. Then just as you're starting to get to the point where you're contributing something of value, you do it all again. You forgot the part where she flounced and swore never to return! More than once!

FreetobeSlave -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 4:11:45 PM)
Thanks everyone for your comments. I hope everyone enjoys their day.

Charles6682 -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 4:18:19 PM)
If theres no unity in this community,then continue the rest of society to continue to treat some people like second class citizens.There is more strength in numbers.That is for those in here who would like to see this "community" become more acceptable in society.Maybe hiding under a rock worked well in the 1940s but that mentality is no longer needed and I think does more damage than good.Some habits die hard but the one thing that is always constant is "Change".

LadyPact -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 5:04:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Charles6682 If theres no unity in this community,then continue the rest of society to continue to treat some people like second class citizens.There is more strength in numbers.That is for those in here who would like to see this "community" become more acceptable in society.Maybe hiding under a rock worked well in the 1940s but that mentality is no longer needed and I think does more damage than good.Some habits die hard but the one thing that is always constant is "Change". Sorry, but this is crap and is very much the attitude that I was discussing on the thread that I linked. People don't owe other people anything just because the other person happens to be kinky. You're kinky? Great. I'm happy that you make your own choices. However, that doesn't mean that I "owe" you anything and I'm not into this bit about how it's an "us vrs them" mentality. Being kinky isn't some get out of jail free card for every other aspect of personality, including the entitlement bs that a lot of people think they are owed just because they are interested in something besides a vanilla lifestyle. You want My respect? Earn it. Just like vanilla folks have to. Very few people are hiding under a rock. If they are, why can't they? Kinky folks aren't the new wave of the gay rights struggle. They aren't facing the same challenges as the trans community, equality regarding race, or religion. Those who want to make the comparisons have nothing but a weak argument, and frankly, ought to be ashamed of themselves for throwing out even the idea that they face the same plight. If you're an asshole, then golly gee whiz, Batman, you're an asshole, whether you are kinky or not and if you're waving the kinky flag thinking people are going to give you a free pass just because you are kinky, you are in for a rude awakening.

littlewonder -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 5:10:50 PM)
I don't give respect to just anyone. I give casual civility to them and nothing more. Respect is saved for those I truly admire and those are the ones I can count on one hand. They are few and far between. Personally, I don't get what the problem is. People do this outside of bdsm too. You don't think men do that with "vanilla" chicks too? I used to get that aaaalllll the time. I'd meet a guy and all of a sudden, every man I knew was approaching me trying to tell me he was an asshole, not good for me, etc....shrug and move on. They're either jealous or have a crush on you they cannot tell you to your face about. Either way...forget em. It's not a big deal. ETA: How the hell does a phone number appear on your profile and you don't know it's there and you don't who's it is???? WTF??? I'd be more worried about that than anything else you seem to be worried about. I'd be checking to see who the hell is messing with your computer. Maybe it's just me but that would be a major, serious concern to me.

lizi -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 5:17:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Charles6682 If theres no unity in this community,then continue the rest of society to continue to treat some people like second class citizens.There is more strength in numbers.That is for those in here who would like to see this "community" become more acceptable in society.Maybe hiding under a rock worked well in the 1940s but that mentality is no longer needed and I think does more damage than good.Some habits die hard but the one thing that is always constant is "Change". Sorry, I'm not going to unite with the cheaters and entitled dick-worshippers that come into my inbox to make them more acceptable in society. The duck lip Princesses and Piggy seekers are not my buddies; they're not a part of my society, I want no part of any of that. I refuse to be associated with the men that are out to use me. They ARE second class citizens. Just because they slap on a title it doesn't mean I'm one in solidarity with them. I'm not treated like a second class citizen. I keep my private life private- I have never run across anyone being treated poorly because of kink. I don't see the need for a massive uprising and Kumbaya songs around a campfire to raise people's awareness of the kink society. You know, if it happened that there was rampant prejudice and blatantly aggressive acts against kinky people, then I might feel compelled to do something, as it is nothing of the negative sort exists that I've seen and I keep what I do in my life to myself.

sexyred1 -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 5:29:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FreetobeSlave Wow, You don't even know me, I have done nothing to you. I would delete this thread if I could. I made a mistake. But alas, I guess there are people who get insulted to easy these days. Sigh. I have to give you props, OP, for geing "new" and yet you managed to hit all the wrong buttons in one fell swoop. Usually it takes me people a bit more time. 1. You cannot delete a thread. It lives forever in infamy. 2. No one here is insulted; that is your perception for not receiving a warm and fuzzy hug back. 3. I do not understand the recent threads (not just yours) that keep saying those of us in kink are SHUNNED BY SOCIETY. I have never experienced that at all and I have done this since I was a teen. Perhaps that is because I don't broadcast what I do to anyone who will listen? 4. What do you mean, we might "die out"? Are we Bengal tigers or other animals in danger of exinction from being hunted? I doubt if you die or I die, there will any fewer people interested in BDSM. Overly dramatic, reallly? 5. Respect. Should be earned and not expected. Civility is expected, but then again this is the internet, so that ideal goes out the window in many cases. 6. Answering emails. No, I don't have to reply to a well worded or badly worded email because when I do, I have to put up with some bullshit hurt from men who are furious because I rejected them, so they start attacking me. You are not any more special than anyone else, so realize that you cannot control anyone else, only your reactions to them and their actions. Hope I covered it all. Best of luck. P.S. You may want to take a look at your journals. They are filled with negativity about "fakes". Remember, someone is not a fake if they are not into YOU. They are just not into you. See?

sexyred1 -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 5:34:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Charles6682 If theres no unity in this community,then continue the rest of society to continue to treat some people like second class citizens.There is more strength in numbers.That is for those in here who would like to see this "community" become more acceptable in society.Maybe hiding under a rock worked well in the 1940s but that mentality is no longer needed and I think does more damage than good.Some habits die hard but the one thing that is always constant is "Change". Please stop with NO UNITY IN THE COMMUNITY. It is just so incredibly assumptive to think that everyone here considers themselves in a community. I am not in a community; I live my life as I see fit, with people I care about and and this whole thing about strength in numbers, what are we in a union? The way you people who tout this community strength issue, you would think you were being chased through the village with pitchforks, jeez.

Charles6682 -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 5:58:30 PM)
Doesn't really bother me whether there's "unity" in this lifestyle either way.I am going to go on living my life just fine either way.Did I ever mention anything about "special treatment"? Here in America,things change when people come together.But when I read stories on how people can still get fired just for having some profile here on Collarme,than yea,I'd say theres still some room to grow.I don't seek "special treatment" but rather "equal rights" ,as anybody else here in America.Probaly depends on which state somebody lives in but I know "Florida" is a "Work to Right" state.Meaning somebody can be fired for any number of reasons.

OsideGirl -> RE: Respecting one another (3/22/2013 6:13:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Charles6682 Doesn't really bother me whether there's "unity" in this lifestyle either way.I am going to go on living my life just fine either way.Did I ever mention anything about "special treatment"? Here in America,things change when people come together.But when I read stories on how people can still get fired just for having some profile here on Collarme,than yea,I'd say theres still some room to grow.I don't seek "special treatment" but rather "equal rights" ,as anybody else here in America.Probaly depends on which state somebody lives in but I know "Florida" is a "Work to Right" state.Meaning somebody can be fired for any number of reasons. California is an "employment at will" state. You can get fired for no reason what so ever.

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