|
njlauren -> RE: Respecting one another (3/23/2013 11:32:52 AM)
|
LP and others hit the nail on the head, expecting the "leather community' or "the BD/SM community" to be any different than any other community is going to be a disappointment, because face it, no matter what "community' you belong to, it is a group of people, who have their own fetishes, triggers, beliefs, arrogance, stupidity, brilliance, you name it..they are human. For years we have heard of the 'LGBT community', but want to know something? It is no better or worse then any group. There are gays and lesbians who sincerely hope trans people would disappear off the face of the earth, dykes who think that am M to F trans person is someone trying to grab power by transitioning because women have gained power, gay guys who think m to f's are all gay guys afraid to be gay *sigh*.......there are gays and lesbians who think bi's are either gays who can't admit it, or straights 'playing' out a fantasy, and it goes on. There are lesbians who think unless a woman totally 'throws away' what they see as 'ingrained male ideas of beauty (i.e don't wear makeup, don't keep in shape, wear dowdy clothing) they aren't a lesbian; in the trans world, I faced shit from a lot of quarters because we were trying to do it keeping the family together, it was the one time gays, straights, and trans all seemed to align on something......you get the idea.
I belonged to a BD/SM group for a while, and the group almost fell apart..why? A power struggle, they were acting like the fucking Rotary or PTA, it was pathetic.
And yes, when your new, it seems like there is this incredible world full of interesting people, who are living their own lives and so forth, it just seems so different then the 'outside' world....it is colored by finding yourself, finding your own bliss. The problem is, when you look, you see it is no different then anywhere else, there are those who claim 'true authority' by being 'old guard' or 'trained by old guard', there are those who claim they are true because they have read every Gor book, there are those who claim a female sub is just recreating patriarchy, those that make claims like a switch is 'less authentic' and doesn't have a 'real' lifestyle, it goes on and on. An analogy comes to mind, at the funeral for Martin Luther King, someone (I think it was Sammy Davis) became very emotional, and went over to a large group of mourners, with his hands outstretched, saying "my people", and one of the people kind of acting as usher/security (might have been Rosie Greer, not sure) told him "Sam, some of that group are your people, some of the others will steal the rings off your fingers"). It is like that in the BD/SM world, some of the people will be friends, others with be acquaintances, and others will be telling you because you are short/tall/fat/skinny/ bi/gay/lesbian/gay/switch/top/bottom/D/s/M/s, whatever, that you 'aren't authentic', 'doing it wrong' , a 'joke', whatever.
Speaking only for myself, I found that the circles I was in were a lot more open minded about me being trans then certain aspects of 'The lgbt community', but I found idiots all over, comes with the territory. Keep in mind it is made up of human beings who love to squabble, fight, bicker, name call, spit and so forth, and you will do fine:)
|
|
|
|
