Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Help with profile and responses


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Help with profile and responses Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 2:31:41 PM   
Specter326


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/28/2013
Status: offline 		I'm looking to attract a submissive, myself being a dom. I was looking for feedback on my profile and any changes you guys think should be made. I sincerely appreciate you help.

About me:

As a person, I'd like to think that I could easily compare to some of the characters in Atlas Shrugged, my favorite book. I'm an exceptionally confident person though I'd like to believe I don't come off as a**** I can easily pull of the country boy, relaxed, laid back look and feel while at the same time walk in to a room with a suit on and command everyone's attention. I enjoy roughhousing, playing in the mud, and getting dirty out in the country, yet just as easily, I enjoy discussing the bouquet of a fine wine, going to black tie events, and traveling the world. I have a politically incorrect sense of humor and I'm pretty good at sarcasm. I like to have a good time. I can be serious when I need to be but I do like to play as well!

I live by my morals and values. I enjoy the acquaintance of many people, yet I only have a few individuals in my life I would truly call friends. To me a friend is someone you'd do anything for at a moments notice. People like that are few and far between these days. Honor, Strength, and Faith are probably the three words I'd use to describe myself. My word is important to me. I treat everyone I know with respect and expect the same in return. I will not tolerate anything less.

I'm kind of old-school when it comes to dating and relationships. Deep down I am a romantic. I love sitting by a fire, glass of wine and book in hand with my partner cuddled up beside me. "Just because" flowers are pretty frequent occurrences and I can definitely get cheesy-romantic on special nights. Movie nights in PJ's with popcorn are fun and I think a necessary part of a healthy relationship. Also, I am not in to feminist women who don't appreciate a man opening a door, or for that matter a woman who won't offer to pick up the tab and say thank you when I cover it. Also, though the lifestyle I want is a bit on the kinky side, to the outside world I'd expect my relationship to look as vanilla as any other relationship. I want to have a family one day and I would not want our private activities to get the way of our public social life.

What's that saying? "A lady in the street's but a freak in the sheet's"? Ya, something like that :)

If you hadn't guessed, I am a dominant. I am both dominant in the relationship as well as in the bedroom. That being said, I will frequently ask for, and consider my partners opinion. I would never want my partner to feel as if I didn't listen to them. I expect, in the majority of cases, to have the final decision. In any other cases, the decisions will be made together.

In the bedroom I expect someone who loves to submit and lose control, though a bit of struggling can be fun. They also need to have a kinky mindset and enjoy the more taboo fantasies. I expect my partner to be extremely open minded and very sexual. Bisexuality is preferred and if not, at least a desire to play with women in sexual situations. Also, they can't have any issues with any type of oral or anal play. Cum should be something they crave, and pleasing me should be something they live for. Though there will always be a safe word, I expect to have access to you wherever and whenever I want and there should be very little you would say no to.

This is important: I've been a part of a polyamorous lifestyle in the past and it's something I'd like to rekindle with my future partner. To explain a little further, if my partner and I ran across another couple that we became very close friends with, I would want there to be a possibility of an open sexual and intimate relationship between the four of us. Make sure you are completely open to this being a possibility. If this doesn't really make sense feel free to ask questions.

I am an open book, if you want to just ask questions or are curious about this type, or similar lifestyle's, feel free to send me a message. I eventually wish to find a primary, someone who could one day be my wife. However, I am in no rush to get married and do enjoy dating until the right match comes along.

Random facts

Favorite sports: SCUBA diving/Wakeboarding/Snowboarding/Shooting/Watching college football

Favorite books: Atlas Shrugged/Lone Survivor/LOTR/Count of Monte Cristo

Favorite Movies: 300/The Matrix/Bourne Series/Marvel Movies/(I do enjoy romance comedies)

Favorite Music: Most Country/Nickelback/Linkin Park/38 Special/Journey/ACDC/Train/Classical
Close ad
AdChoicesAdChoices
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 2:44:09 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		It's well written and you have a good blend of kink and vanilla. Your market segment will be small, but you're ahead of a lot of the guys out there.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 2:45:18 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		I think your profile speaks eloquently although in this case I'm not sure "eloquence" actually works in your favor. It's kind of like a profile which starts out

"Hi, I value total honesty so let me start right out with admitting I'm an axe murderer..."

On one hand I have to admire the integrity and honesty. On the other hand... ick. If you're actually wealthy though then it hardly matters.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 2:56:57 PM   
Specter326


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/28/2013
Status: offline 		Thanks OsideGirl!

Jeff,
Not really sure what you mean. "On the other hand... ick."?
What does wealth have to do with this?

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 3:46:47 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		The pics are good. Show you to be athletic.

The ending gets muddled. If you have couple-couple interaction, does that mean you intend to be bi? Basically, you introduce a huge wild card that could be a hard limit to many women, and don't explain it.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 5:06:25 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		You had me ready to drive to Leesburg until the bisexuality! I think everyone above has made excellent points about having a narrow target market but that is preferable to those who say "interested in true subs only"

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 5:23:35 PM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

"On the other hand... ick."


I think you're too explicit. I know I do things with my man that if he'd laid it all out in his profile I would have not emailed him back. Our kinks don't align perfectly. But because I adore him, his kinks are now my kinks.

I'd kill the parts about oral, anal, and cum craving as being gratuitously explicit.

I'm not sure what to recommend about the poly section. I think you should either add more detail to clarify other posters' questions or just mention it in passing and say you will explain over coffee.

(ps - this feminist appreciates having doors opened and tabs picked up ;)



_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 7:20:22 PM   
theshytype


Posts: 1600
Status: offline 		I personally like your profile. I believe it's well-written and the opening paragraph kept me interested. I also like the pictures you chose. Based on some of the other profiles I've seen, I think you should have a much easier time finding a match. If I were single and 10 years younger, I'd be swooning.

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 8:16:03 PM   
Specter326


Posts: 3
Joined: 3/28/2013
Status: offline 		First, thank you so much for all your feedback.

I guess I'm torn. The polyish lifestyle is what ended my last relationship. No I am not bi, it would be more of a situation where if we went and stayed with that other couple, I'd want to be able to pass the women back and forth in a very hedonistic way. Also, the specific couple I have in mind I share a deep emotional connection to and I'd like my sub to be open to that. I know it's a huge expectation but unfortunately it's kind of a deal breaker. My last sub was to jealous and could never handle that. The bi thing, they don't necessarily have to be full bi, just enough to be able to have fun with the other girl. Not necessarily oral but fun with toys kissing etc.

I guess I just don't know the proper wording to get that across. How would you briefly mention it or mention it in a way that wasn't so intense?

(in reply to theshytype)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 8:19:53 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I love your profile.

You probably will do really well here.

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 9:15:45 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Specter326

First, thank you so much for all your feedback.

I guess I'm torn. The polyish lifestyle is what ended my last relationship. No I am not bi, it would be more of a situation where if we went and stayed with that other couple, I'd want to be able to pass the women back and forth in a very hedonistic way. Also, the specific couple I have in mind I share a deep emotional connection to and I'd like my sub to be open to that. I know it's a huge expectation but unfortunately it's kind of a deal breaker. My last sub was to jealous and could never handle that. The bi thing, they don't necessarily have to be full bi, just enough to be able to have fun with the other girl. Not necessarily oral but fun with toys kissing etc.

I guess I just don't know the proper wording to get that across. How would you briefly mention it or mention it in a way that wasn't so intense?


Just say "I've done swinging before and would like to do it again". That implies swapping partners, but in a strictly het way.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/28/2013 9:26:06 PM   
muhly22222


Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline 		FR

Overall...a very good profile. And I have fairly high standards.

With that being said:

The part where you talk about your sub having a craving for cum is probably too much for a lot of people. As kalikshama said, it's gratuitously explicit. You can get the idea across without having to be so crude.

You've begun to answer some of your own questions on how to handle the poly situation:
quote:

Also, the specific couple I have in mind I share a deep emotional connection to and I'd like my sub to be open to that.

Expand on that.



_____________________________

I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.
-Woodrow Wilson

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/29/2013 12:30:36 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		fast reply

The others have covered the text pretty well (even with the bits that need a polish, still one of the top 5% I've seen) so I'll just say this:

LOVE your profile picture. Full body shot, smiling, clothed, engaging in a vanilla interest. Perfecto.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to muhly22222)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Help with profile and responses - 3/31/2013 11:15:50 AM   
phoenixasubbie


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/28/2012
Status: offline 		Although it is not my cup of tea, I think it is very well written.

I'd 86 the cum speak too. We are on CM. I think that's pretty much a given.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Help with profile and responses - 4/3/2013 4:10:01 PM   
subkj


Posts: 3
Joined: 1/13/2013
Status: offline 		Ok... here's my honest opinion as a sub... I believe you are super hot... Add a close up pic... Your profile about you section is well written but may be too revealing... Take a bit away and make a sub want to ask you questions about yourself... The other thing is add more interests and fetishes you may be into... I hope this helps...

(in reply to phoenixasubbie)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Help with profile and responses - 6/2/2013 11:02:24 AM   
orgasmdenial12


Posts: 613
Joined: 9/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

Also, I am not in to feminist women who don't appreciate a man opening a door, or for that matter a woman who won't offer to pick up the tab and say thank you when I cover it.


This is where I lost interest.

There are lots of fabulous, sexy, feminist women who would be open minded, kinky, poly, bi-curious. Why put them off with a badly written line? I frequently offer to pay my half and am always appreciative if they want to treat me. It has nothing to do with feminism and everything to do with being polite and well-mannered. Your criticism of feminists makes it sound as if you might have sexist beliefs and can't handle women who would challenge you on that.

I also think you come across as a bit of an asshat with your opening line about being 'exceptionally confident' and there are some spelling mistakes in your profile. I'm only pointing this out because you asked for feedback and, to me, it's not really helping you at all if I don't say honestly how it came across to me. Others will obviously have their own opinion :-)

(in reply to Specter326)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Help with profile and responses - 6/12/2013 2:19:44 AM   
Endivius


Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline 		Smart and funny is how to attract women. Stick to that you, can have your pick.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to orgasmdenial12)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Help with profile and responses - 6/12/2013 9:49:12 AM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline 		Not sure which is worse, the bit about being bi or an adult liking Ayn Rand.

All kidding aside, that's a damn fine profile!

(in reply to Endivius)
Profile   Post #: 18
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Help with profile and responses Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094