Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Lookinf for some constructive criticism.


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Lookinf for some constructive criticism. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 11:40:54 AM   
KinkyScientist


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/11/2011
Status: offline 		I'm finding that after writing to a potential submissive, they will look at my profile then clam up and never respond again.
While I am certainly not every ones cup of tea nor would I expect to be, I'd like some opinions on what my profile communicates about me.

Here is a copy:

Read the whole profile before messaging me.



California translpant from Upstate, NY (Not New York City, there really is an entire state there that is nowhere near Manhatten.) Came here to get away from the snow, enjoy the opportunities California provides and just to boldly go where I have never been before.



I'm an outdoor lover, biking, kayaking, hiking, sailing, climbing, SCUBA, and so on. Exploring new places and trying new things, Watching the sun set or doing a mud run, always better when shared. I exercise regularly prefering natural exercise like hiking or swimming rather than lifting weights or running on a treadmill. I was a chef in a previous career eating healthy and well are important to me and I see no reason to sacrifice one for the other.



Don't watch TV often but I do enjoy the Daily Show, Dexter, Game of Thrones, Walking Dead and have been known to sneak an episode of Star Trek if I can find it. (What is the connection between Star Trek, the renaissance fair and bondage anyway?)



I'm here to make the kind of connection I have not been able to in the vanilla world, I'm kinky and sex is not satisfying to me without that element. Like the Marquis de Sade said, "Sex without pain is like food without taste." Vanilla relationships were just like that, a meal that never left me satisfied. Like a piece was missing from the puzzle.



A sense of humor, and intellect are very important to me in a potential partner. Searching for a sensual Woman, some one with an expressive face, race/age unimportant. I find geeky things attractive; glasses, shyness, unique hobbies, etc... All the great sex in the world can be wonderful, without the intellectual connection it will only last as long as the lust. I want somebody who's mind I can desire after as much as their body. If you love a good book even more than a good movie, so much the better. Must want a man who can be both kind, kinky, and cruel. Someone who looks like the one you take home to meet your parents, but is the kind of man who will tie you spread legged to the bed then spank, tease, torment, and sodomize you until its more than you can bear...



Things I am not into: Scat, sex with animals, mutilation ( I do not consider tattoos or piercing mutilation), brussel sprouts, quiche.

Currently working as a scientist in the medical field. My specialty is transfusion medicine and hematology, right now I'm working in fetal diagnostics in South San Jose.



If you send a message to me using net speak instead of writing out words like 'You" and "are" or "tonight" may as well just ask me to delete your response and never write back. I know that typing three entire letters instead of one is taxing, but why do something if you are not going to do it right?



Having read this far and been charmed by my masculine wiles, when you contact me put the word, "Memory" as the first word in your message.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 11:46:45 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		I don't see anything wrong with your profile. Perhaps you are writing to subs who enjoy text speak so they are put off by your saying you will delete them.


(in reply to KinkyScientist)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 11:50:53 AM   
thezeppo


Posts: 441
Joined: 11/15/2012
Status: offline 		I'm not your target market but I think it looks pretty good. The quiche thing is funny. Maybe it is the content of the messages you are sending that you need to look at?

ETA: Maybe the Star Trek reference in the first sentence?

< Message edited by thezeppo -- 3/31/2013 11:53:11 AM >

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 11:59:20 AM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KinkyScientist

(What is the connection between Star Trek, the renaissance fair and bondage anyway?)




Star Trek = Orion slave girls (They're GREEN!)
Ren Faires = medieval slave girls (sadly, not green)
Bondage - any ol' slave girls will do..

Commonality.. SLAVE GIRLS! lol

Love, love the profile. I wouldn't change a thing but then I'm all about kinky scientists. ::grins::

Live long and prosper or, yanno, bazinga! Either way.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to KinkyScientist)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 12:05:26 PM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		I think you have a very targeted profile and that is excellent in filtering out the wrong types. Problem is that (I read this in another post )..if women read a profile & don't see themselves they won't respond. Now..ask yourself if you would rather water down your profile & then sift through a lot of bad replies or keep it and wait for the one it resonates with who, you will know upfront, wants the same things.

Honestly, I don't believe either is wrong. Sometimes a person you stumble across is so captivating & right in so many other ways you may compromise some issues. And sometimes, it is better to hold out for what you KNOW you want and need.

< Message edited by TieMeInKnottss -- 3/31/2013 12:17:46 PM >

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 12:18:41 PM   
lilcracker


Posts: 243
Joined: 4/14/2012
Status: offline 		Maybe it has nothing to do with your profile but perhaps your message....I've gotten messages knew I was never going to respond and still looked at the profile.

(in reply to KinkyScientist)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 12:26:44 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		KS-
Lots of "women's" profiles are wanker guys. There generally would be no return email or if there was, jig would be up if you met, skyped, whatever.

If you'd be comfortable posting a typical contact letter, we can have a look at that.


(in reply to KinkyScientist)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 12:41:53 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		If someone doesn't respond, it's because they're not interested. Just move on.

I will say that you have a couple of things in your profile couched as a demand, rather than a request. We sub females dislike being told what to do before we've even had any contact with you.

And BTW, you misspelled Manhattan.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to lilcracker)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 12:53:42 PM   
Baroana


Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline 		If I was a submissive woman, I might possibly be interested in you. However, you would lose about 50% of your points with me due to the fact that you are from New York, yet you don't know how to spell Manhattan. Then to make matters worse, you heavily criticize text spellers and other grammar lazies for similar misdeeds.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 3:55:33 PM   
imalovingmaster


Posts: 7
Joined: 3/28/2013
Status: offline 		I looked because I'm new here too and have asked for help on my profile. Not to bust your balls, but you are in transfusion and hematology and cant spell Manhattan?
I'm from Western NY. Some people consider upstate anything that's not NYC or the Island. No, I'm from Western NY. But you're correct... Try to explain to a native Californian (or someone with no familiarity of NYS) that there's a great big state no where near NYC.

It's my understanding the women get flooded with email here. I have had one sincere reply in 4 days from a woman under consideration and 3 or 4 spam replies. As the above members said, try not to limit the field.
Best wishes.

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 5:17:55 PM   
breagha


Posts: 380
Joined: 7/29/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

If I was a submissive woman, I might possibly be interested in you. However, you would lose about 50% of your points with me due to the fact that you are from New York, yet you don't know how to spell Manhattan. Then to make matters worse, you heavily criticize text spellers and other grammar lazies for similar misdeeds.


just because he is from the state of ny doesn't mean he has to know how to spell the name of a section of city. NY doesn't equal NYC. i agree that him criticising for grammar issues is ironic if he didn't spell it correctly. BUT... being from ny doesn't mean he has to know all things NYC related. it is a big big state

_____________________________

"Consumed with memories that preceded today; given a chance to bereave life that's slipping away"

(in reply to Baroana)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 6:47:55 PM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: breagha


quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

If I was a submissive woman, I might possibly be interested in you. However, you would lose about 50% of your points with me due to the fact that you are from New York, yet you don't know how to spell Manhattan. Then to make matters worse, you heavily criticize text spellers and other grammar lazies for similar misdeeds.


just because he is from the state of ny doesn't mean he has to know how to spell the name of a section of city. NY doesn't equal NYC. i agree that him criticising for grammar issues is ironic if he didn't spell it correctly. BUT... being from ny doesn't mean he has to know all things NYC related. it is a big big state

Manhattan isn't the only misspelled word in his profile that takes a pompous attitude about others using text speak.

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to breagha)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 7:28:34 PM   
phoenixasubbie


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/28/2012
Status: offline 		If you send a message to me using net speak instead of writing out words like 'You" and "are" or "tonight" may as well just ask me to delete your response and never write back. I know that typing three entire letters instead of one is taxing, but why do something if you are not going to do it right?


Delete that and it's a decent profile. Keep that and my mind goes to the spelling and punctuation errors in your own writing.

Overall, I think you are appealing to a target audience and the right one will come along.

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 7:30:22 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		"Read the whole profile before messaging me," sounds aggressive, and not friendly. I'm not submissive, and maybe submissive women would find that hot, but it makes me think "kinda hostile!" M

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to KinkyScientist)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 8:01:30 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

"Read the whole profile before messaging me," sounds aggressive, and not friendly. I'm not submissive, and maybe submissive women would find that hot, but it makes me think "kinda hostile!" M



That and telling a person taking the time to email him, what to say to him.

I don't respond well to strange men that try to tell me what to do, without so much as a "please". I would have skipped onto the next profile based on that alone.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 8:28:17 PM   
keagan


Posts: 4
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig

"Read the whole profile before messaging me," sounds aggressive, and not friendly. I'm not submissive, and maybe submissive women would find that hot, but it makes me think "kinda hostile!" M



^^^^ that and "when you contact me put the word, "Memory" as the first word in your message." Here is my gut reaction to that .... I'm not typing shit for my first word, I'll type what I please and I can assure you it won't be memory.

I get it in that we are all tired of the fakes but coming off as demanding or "kinda hostile" just won't get it with most submissives.

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 8:49:45 PM   
itsapixie


Posts: 54
Joined: 9/11/2012
Status: offline 		"Read the whole profile before messaging me."
"If you send a message to me using net speak instead of writing out words like 'You" and "are" or "tonight" may as well just ask me to delete your response and never write back. I know that typing three entire letters instead of one is taxing, but why do something if you are not going to do it right? "
" when you contact me put the word, "Memory" as the first word in your message."

These are all things that I find unappealing in a profile. Not that it makes you look bad, really... it just makes you look a bit anal.

You share a LOT in your profile. By sharing so many things, you raise the amount of times a potential sub will not respond just because they don't mesh with your interests. Maybe they don't like outdoorsy stuff, find medical science boring, dislike Star Trek, etc. Don't always take their lack of response as a bad thing. Maybe they're just saving you the wasted effort because they know you're not a match for them.

(in reply to keagan)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Lookinf for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 10:43:00 PM   
muhly22222


Posts: 463
Joined: 3/25/2010
Status: offline 		FR:

What everybody else said: fix the spelling errors, and take out the commands and the criticism (negativity in general). If somebody messages you and their writing is something that's...unappealing...you have no obligation to write them back, believe it or not (although I do understand that the temptation is always there...what if she's actually a she, and actually is interested?). Negativity in profiles pushes people away.

Your mini-rant about there being parts of NY that are not in the City is another example of that negativity (in my mind, anyway). So what if people don't realize that? Just patiently explain it to them...it's not a difficult concept, and one that I imagine most people will understand.

_____________________________

I have always been among those who believed that the greatest freedom of speech was the greatest safety, because if a man is a fool, the best thing to do is to encourage him to advertise the fact by speaking.
-Woodrow Wilson

(in reply to itsapixie)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Looking for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 10:57:10 PM   
KinkyScientist


Posts: 3
Joined: 11/11/2011
Status: offline 		Thank you all for the comments, I took some and ignored others.
Big slap to the forehead on misspelling Manhattan, the cracks were well deserved.

(in reply to muhly22222)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Looking for some constructive criticism. - 3/31/2013 11:28:23 PM   
Powergamz1


Posts: 1927
Joined: 9/3/2011
Status: offline 		The whole 'Put "Blaaaah" in the first sentence or subject line' is a pretty well known red flag for scammers. Ignore what you want, but if you keep on repeating the same behaviors and wonder why you are getting the same results.....

_____________________________

"DOMA is unconstitutional as a deprivation of the equal liberty of persons that is protected by the Fifth Amendment" Anthony McLeod Kennedy

" About damn time...wooot!!' Me

(in reply to KinkyScientist)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> Lookinf for some constructive criticism. Page: [1] 2   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094