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RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/2/2013 4:28:21 PM

LookieNoNookie

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Rattenkonig

But, this takes me to my actual question: Why do these sorts of men get so violently angry when told you're not interested in what they are selling?

I am soooo fucking tired of your shit!!!!

I've had it with you.

You think I'm kidding???????

(I might be).

< Message edited by LookieNoNookie -- 4/2/2013 5:11:03 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/2/2013 5:55:47 PM

FrostedFlake

Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
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Some of us are idiots.

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Post #: 22

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/2/2013 8:44:42 PM

Glittoris

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quote:

ORIGINAL: FrostedFlake

Some of us are idiots.

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Post #: 23

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/2/2013 8:57:39 PM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
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FR

It's the internet. Anonymous wankers testing you to see if you'll show them tits on cam. Congrats, you didn't drink the Kool-aid.

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Post #: 24

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/2/2013 9:40:40 PM

FelineRanger

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As someone who can be explosive, I disagree that it's as simple as reality not meeting pornographic fantasy. I'm more prone to agree that it's more that the individuals who are getting abusive are emotionally stunted, spoiled brats who never grew up regardless of what their birth certificates say. I sincerely doubt that any of the men that I have met in person at munches and at the play party where I volunteer would indulge in behavior that childish.

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RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 9:06:23 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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Bill, you're right in that they wouldn't act that way in person. But this is online, faceless and they do act that way. You can't tell from a public persona what a person is like in private.

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Post #: 26

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 12:39:48 PM

VioletViolence

Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

They are disappointed that reality doesn't match what they read on http://submissivewomensecrets.com/

OMG, suddenly the "Kneel bitch" online Dom makes so much more sense! I think my favourite part was where the author says that going after submissive women guarantees that a man will NEVER again be rejected. I laughed so hard at that I almost peed. No wonder men these days have such a hard time meeting the expectations of women if that's the drivel they're basing life on.

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Post #: 27

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 1:39:32 PM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineRanger

As someone who can be explosive, I disagree that it's as simple as reality not meeting pornographic fantasy. I'm more prone to agree that it's more that the individuals who are getting abusive are emotionally stunted, spoiled brats who never grew up regardless of what their birth certificates say. I sincerely doubt that any of the men that I have met in person at munches and at the play party where I volunteer would indulge in behavior that childish.

Sorry to burst your bubble, but that is likely not true. I have proof that some of the biggest asshats who have responded "violently" and inappropriately to me and other women are doctors, lawyers, cops, judges, excecutives from all walks of life who would NEVER behave that way to women in PERSON.

Always remember the internet makes it is easy for cowards to behave bravely.

(in reply to FelineRanger)

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Post #: 28

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 2:10:22 PM

LeatherBentOne51

Posts: 89
Joined: 12/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Nobody enjoys being rejected, being told they're not good enough.

Next time, don't tell them no, just don't respond. No response is a response. You don't write Capital One telling them you don't want their credit card, in the same way this is unwanted spam and you are not required to reject them.

Bingo!!!!

(in reply to DesFIP)

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Post #: 29

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 3:00:34 PM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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lizi, that might have been your best post on the site. Very well said.

(At least of the posts of yours I've read, and can remember, so, um, yeah.

)

I really like the compassion you show the guys in the situation. Keyboard womanbeating isn't performed by men in a place of strength; it's performed by men who feel vulnerable and hurt. There are aspects of this site that make me sad, and it isn't just how women are sometimes treated. There are so many lost and lonely men.

To the OP: Hard as this might be, don't take it personally. It isn't really a personal attack, even though it looks like one. The guy writing you is vomiting his baggage onto your profile and email inbox. A profile and a couple emails don't define you as a person. He isn't angry at you; he's angry at what you represent to him.

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Post #: 30

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 6:04:02 PM

Glittoris

Posts: 48
Joined: 2/24/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

lizi, that might have been your best post on the site. Very well said.

(At least of the posts of yours I've read, and can remember, so, um, yeah.)

I really like the compassion you show the guys in the situation. Keyboard womanbeating isn't performed by men in a place of strength; it's performed by men who feel vulnerable and hurt. There are aspects of this site that make me sad, and it isn't just how women are sometimes treated. There are so many lost and lonely men.

To the OP: Hard as this might be, don't take it personally. It isn't really a personal attack, even though it looks like one. The guy writing you is vomiting his baggage onto your profile and email inbox. A profile and a couple emails don't define you as a person. He isn't angry at you; he's angry at what you represent to him.

Very well said!

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Post #: 31

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 7:10:26 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VioletViolence

quote:

ORIGINAL: kalikshama

They are disappointed that reality doesn't match what they read on http://submissivewomensecrets.com/

OMG, suddenly the "Kneel bitch" online Dom makes so much more sense! I think my favourite part was where the author says that going after submissive women guarantees that a man will NEVER again be rejected. I laughed so hard at that I almost peed. No wonder men these days have such a hard time meeting the expectations of women if that's the drivel they're basing life on.

Ummm, was that also a self-pub by the Extreme Breast Massage dude?

(in reply to VioletViolence)

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Post #: 32

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/3/2013 11:46:54 PM

AllisonWilder

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I say something pretty similar to this when I'm not interested or it's clear that we're not looking for the same things: "While I appreciate your message, I just don't think we're looking for the same things. Good luck in your search!"

I very rarely get nasty responses to my 'thanks, but no thanks' responses and often get a 'thanks for replying' type of message back.

(in reply to MistressDarkArt)

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Post #: 33

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/4/2013 1:17:51 AM

descrite

Posts: 459
Joined: 5/14/2012
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quote:

Toss the 'wish list' and ask for donations to charity instead. Takes out the whore factor and if someone does follow through, your favorite charity gets some funding.

How do you know they've complied with your request? Also, you'd be eliminating Objectivists who know that altruism is ugly.

quote:

Next time, don't tell them no, just don't respond. No response is a response. You don't write Capital One telling them you don't want their credit card, in the same way this is unwanted spam and you are not required to reject them.

I've said it before: this is rude. Unlike Capital One, who is sending out unfiltered ads to recipients that Capital One has no actual intent of accepting, I would have sex with each and every woman I've ever sent an entreaty to on the Interwebs. That's not spam-- those are invitations. Anyone with any breeding knows that an invitation is ignored only by those without any.

And UI: I will be your first. Send me your WishList, and I will buy you something. Warning-- I am a cheap bastard.

(in reply to AllisonWilder)

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Post #: 34

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/4/2013 1:30:32 AM

UllrsIshtar

Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
Next time, don't tell them no, just don't respond. No response is a response. You don't write Capital One telling them you don't want their credit card, in the same way this is unwanted spam and you are not required to reject them.

No reply gets you follow up emails asking why you didn't reply. Sometimes multiple. About half of them including the same verbal abuse you get if you send a polite "thanks but no thanks".

At least with a "thanks, but no thanks" a significant portion of the guys response favorably by thanking you for replying to him to turn him down, with no response at all, every single follow up mail is either negative, or a repeat attempt to get your attention (which then often leads to a negative response if you continue to ignore them).

Even not replying and immediately blocking guys you're not interested in doesn't guarantee a lack of verbally abusive emails, as a portion of them will then send you hate mail with another one of their accounts.

If your goal is to minimize verbal abusive emails being send to you, not replying is not the best way to go.

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Post #: 35

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/4/2013 6:53:24 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: FelineRanger

As someone who can be explosive, I disagree that it's as simple as reality not meeting pornographic fantasy. I'm more prone to agree that it's more that the individuals who are getting abusive are emotionally stunted, spoiled brats who never grew up regardless of what their birth certificates say. I sincerely doubt that any of the men that I have met in person at munches and at the play party where I volunteer would indulge in behavior that childish.

You would hope, wouldn't you?

Except when I first joined cm, I got a really nasty, foul-mouthed message from some random dude. I hadn't seen him before, messaged him, or even browsed his profile. The message insulted my appearance (despite me having no photo up), accusing me of being a fake, having a whole range of STIs and using the most disgusting, offensive language.

And so that I couldn't message him back, he blocked me.

Fast forward a couple of years and I started to get involved in my local community. I was at a munch when I was introduced to this guy. Ever such a gentleman. We chatted for a few minutes and I asked him his username on cm. Guess what? He was 'random hate mail guy'.

I asked him why he'd been so vile and offensive, and all he could do is shrug and say 'it was just meant to be funny'. Strangely enough, he didn't enjoy it when the tables were turned, and in real-life. He particularly didn't like it when I told everyone else at the munch what he'd done.

Just cos a guy is nice and quiet and well-behaved in real-life doesn't mean they won't be a total prick online.

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Post #: 36

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/4/2013 11:05:28 AM

Glittoris

Posts: 48
Joined: 2/24/2013
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quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
Just cos a guy is nice and quiet and well-behaved in real-life doesn't mean they won't be a total prick online.

Also the reverse ~ someone who is nice and kind and gentle online can be a royal douche in person :P

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Post #: 37

RE: Low Standards & No Respect For Standards. - 4/4/2013 12:07:19 PM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Glittoris

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself
Just cos a guy is nice and quiet and well-behaved in real-life doesn't mean they won't be a total prick online.

Also the reverse ~ someone who is nice and kind and gentle online can be a royal douche in person :P