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RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? - 4/10/2013 9:14:33 AM

Arturas

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Sampleme

It's a long story but ill cut to the chase. How do you deal with the disappointment of a new Dom telling you he's really not that into you because of your weight? Overweight my whole life, you'd think this crap wouldn't be outta left field. It's just we have/ had such as great connection otherwise. Sigh.

There is one way positive way to deal with the disappointment, turn it into something good for you.

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RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? - 4/10/2013 10:49:19 PM

SomethingCatchy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I know it sucks but better find out what kind of guy is now then years down the road. If he is that weight a phobic Then he is not the right guyy for you.

Kinda of make me think of the movie Shallow Hal. When he meets this really overweigh woman but because he is looking at the woman she really is n=and not just her weaiht he sees what a beauifful woman she really is. I say if a guy is not willing to look beyond the shell they you are well rid of him. Now you can find a guy who as the song says "loves you just the way you are"

Matt's littleone

I don't consider it shallow to want a partner who's attractive and in shape and healthy. Fact is, 30+ pounds is unhealthy.

And yes, I have room to talk. I'm 60 overweight and working hard to fix that problem. The shit it's done to my body compared to when I was in my ideal weight range is amazingly sad and depressive.

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RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? - 4/11/2013 7:27:04 PM

FrostedFlake

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From: Centralia, Washington
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If you are disappointed about your weight, that's one thing, and you know what you can do about it.

If you are disappointed about your date, that's another thing, and you know what you can do about it.

What do I think? I think he should have been honest with himself about what he wants. Of course, that would have meant there would have been no great connection...

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RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? - 4/11/2013 7:41:07 PM

FrostedFlake

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy

quote:

ORIGINAL: littleone35

I know it sucks but better find out what kind of guy is now then years down the road. If he is that weight a phobic Then he is not the right guyy for you.

Kinda of make me think of the movie Shallow Hal. When he meets this really overweigh woman but because he is looking at the woman she really is n=and not just her weaiht he sees what a beauifful woman she really is. I say if a guy is not willing to look beyond the shell they you are well rid of him. Now you can find a guy who as the song says "loves you just the way you are"

Matt's littleone

I don't consider it shallow to want a partner who's attractive and in shape and healthy. Fact is, 30+ pounds is unhealthy.

And yes, I have room to talk. I'm 60 overweight and working hard to fix that problem. The shit it's done to my body compared to when I was in my ideal weight range is amazingly sad and depressive.

Seconded.

And I have room to talk. At 165, I found I was getting in my way. Now I weigh 145. Why? I wanted to.

The problem with using 'Shallow Hal' as an example is : the message of the movie was NOT that fat girls are attractive. The girl Hal saw was thin, and that is what the movie equated with beauty. I don't know how anyone could have missed that.

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RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? - 4/11/2013 8:04:07 PM

kiwisub12

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OP - if you had a good relationship with your other, and suddenly he says that the weight is an issue - I wouldn't believe him. Seems to me that you were honest in the beginning, he knew that you were overweight. I have to wonder if some other factor came into play, and he's using the weight as an excuse.

For the record, my sweetie knew that i was overweight before i ever met him. As he says - he doesn't love fat women , he loves women, specifically, one who is overweight. In the range of factors my weight is just one of many, and not the major factor for him. Got to love him.

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RE: Anybody have words of wisdom? - 4/11/2013 8:05:57 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: SomethingCatchy
I don't consider it shallow to want a partner who's attractive and in shape and healthy. Fact is, 30+ pounds is unhealthy.

I actually think of it as unimportant. "shallow" is a label. We can go ahead and label the entire human courtship and mating process as shallow if we'd like but so what? The science pretty clearly indicates that it IS shallow on both sides but what does that get us? I myself am not particularly surprised that the oldest parts of our brains are pretty damned shallow.

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