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Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 2:36:12 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		Would a Dom female get satisfaction from abusing a virgin? I know that everyone is different, but logically speaking does it seem like the innocence factor would arouse the mistress more?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 2:50:18 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		First of all you seem to think Dominant women are out and about looking for bodies to abuse and be aroused by....not so. Dominant women are women, they like to be Dominant with men that they know and like. There aren't packs of them roving about pouncing on men.

Secondly, since we've established that Dominant women are women just like all the other women in the world...they like people for relationships based on various traits appeal to them. Another thread running right now says they like communication skills, conversational skills, men who know the difference between fantasy and reality, men who don't bring up sexual subjects inappropriately, etc. Being a virgin as a desirable trait hasn't been mentioned yet, I doubt that it will be. I don't think it matters a bit. If someone likes you, then they like you and vice versa. Just for the record, I did have a relationship with a man who was a virgin (this was in my mid 20's), it didnt' matter to me one way or the other.

(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:00:10 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		Oh I see =(

(in reply to lizi)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:14:48 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		And yes, I know there isn't a team of doms just walking the streets looking to abuse subs, that's just goofy.

(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:20:42 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		First of all, I don't abuse anybody. Abuse is a situation where there is a lack of consent.

Second, you may want to think of this in the same way as you do the rest of the world. How many women are just dying to have at you because you are a virgin? How many women don't care? How many women aren't aware of your status at all?

Personally, being way older than you, and having My own sexual history, I can tell you that the word "virgin" isn't going to trip My trigger. Most virgins don't have a clue about pleasing people and My knee jerk reaction is to base My thoughts on the subject on well known premise.


_____________________________

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(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:23:49 PM   
VioletViolence


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
Status: offline 		Yes, there are Dommes who enjoy the "corruption" factor of someone who's a virgin or new to kink. But (and it's a big but), newness/virginity is only one trait out of MANY that a particular woman *may* want. So, a Domme isn't just going to pick you JUST because you're a virgin, but because you not only have the "innocence" factor she wants, but also the personality, similar kinks, compatible interests, etc. We ladies tend to look at the whole package because we have less of a one track mind than men do and we tend to be more reality based and long term oriented. I heard a great saying once, but have no idea who said it that goes along the lines of "Men are alright with jumping right into the deep end because even if it doesn't work out they think "Oh well, I got laid and had some fun" where as women are more cautious and think more along the lines of "Sure it could be a bit of fun, but what if it doesn't last?". Sweeping generalization of course, but I think there's a grain of truth there.

(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:26:18 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		There are a million different ways to say it, virgin, never had sex, no experience, etc...
And yes, I've met a few girls that like virgins, some actually get deep satisfaction from "stealing" virginity.

And the reason I said abuse is because well, I'm a sub. Abuse is what I'm after(not severe pain though)


***I'm kind of confused, did you put a tracking device in me violetviolence? I don't mind it, but how do you keep finding my topics? Its just odd that one person can keep discovering things I type. Its cool, but at the same time strange. :D

< Message edited by Kolbey -- 4/7/2013 3:29:43 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:33:26 PM   
VioletViolence


Posts: 169
Joined: 1/30/2012
Status: offline 		Umm, no tracking device, just ignore any beeping sounds or tiny red flashing lights ;)

Kidding, I'm not actually looking for your posts specifically, but I go through the new threads here on a regular basis.


(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:35:21 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		Hehe, well that seems more logical. Just skimming for fun I suppose? I bet you're a cool person to hang out with :D

(in reply to VioletViolence)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:37:28 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kolbey

There are a million different ways to say it, virgin, never had sex, no experience, etc...
And yes, I've met a few girls that like virgins, some actually get deep satisfaction from "stealing" virginity.

And the reason I said abuse is because well, I'm a sub. Abuse is what I'm after(not severe pain though)


***I'm kind of confused, did you put a tracking device in me violetviolence? I don't mind it, but how do you keep finding my topics? Its just odd that one person can keep discovering things I type. Its cool, but at the same time strange. :D



No, again people who have some knowledge of BDSM try to clearly differentiate abuse from what it is that we do.
Abuse indicates lack of consent.

Anyone who is ethical within this context does not abuse the people they interact with.
They may beat them, humiliate them, tie them up or do any variety of torture upon a willing partner.

But as long as there is consent, it is not abuse.

So, you may want to redefine what it is you are seeking.



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(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:53:17 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		Okay, let me spell it out.

Sexually abused, with consent of course. Giving oneself entirely to the will of the mistress and having almost 0 say in what she does. Sure, a few hard limits, but I'm the type of guy that is far too timid to speak up if she did something I didn't enjoy. If she violated my hard limits I would object, but anything else and I would just keep my mouth shut. Pleasing her before myself, she is the valued one, I'm the servant.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 3:58:01 PM   
MizzSpitfire


Posts: 70
Joined: 2/16/2012
Status: offline 		So you expect that female Dominants are here to find men to have kinky sex with? Sounds like you've been watching far too much porn, cause I just want someone to clean my bathroom and mow the lawn.

(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 4:10:01 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		Yes, I do watch a lot of porn. But I do not watch bdsm porn, except for machine porn. That's some hot stuff.

I'm not even expecting to meet a local girl through this website, I'm just asking general questions. *shrugs*

(in reply to MizzSpitfire)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 4:18:50 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Okay. You're getting a few concepts confused.

1. You're using the word "abuse" where most of us would use the term "play", "scene", or "session". We've had some issues with vanillas who believe that what we do is unsafe, dangerous, and people are harmed. So we're very careful to avoid the word "abuse".

2. You're not recognizing the distinction between kinky sex and play. They sure as hell intersect, but they frequently are exclusive. My sub and I go to parties where we each play with several others, even though we're sexually monogamous.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 4:25:01 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		Maybe not "abuse" but like, fake abuse.
I think I would enjoy being threatened with a knife, punished if I said/did something wrong/ maybe even spanked.

I'm not a masochist, but then again, pain might be fun in a sexual scenario. I wouldn't know.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 5:32:20 PM   
phoenixasubbie


Posts: 55
Joined: 10/28/2012
Status: offline 		Followed your post at Fet and then here.

You seem to be living in a fantasy. And being a newbie, and one who truly sounds like he really doesn't know what he is doing ( and not just sexually ) you might want to slow down a bit. Find a mentor in your area. Go to munches

All I read in your posts are your fantasies. Not what you would bring to the table for a woman. So, you are a virgin. One trick pony love. And frankly, most men suck the first time.

How would you make her life better? Easier? I don't see any of that in your posts or your profile. Not trying to bash you in any way. Just my two cents worth.

This isn't make believe here. Male or not, you can get hurt. Seriously.

(in reply to Kolbey)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 5:43:08 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MizzSpitfire

So you expect that female Dominants are here to find men to have kinky sex with? Sounds like you've been watching far too much porn, cause I just want someone to clean my bathroom and mow the lawn.


This thread is a perfect example of why I can't ever picture myself becoming Dominant over a man, even though I've been Dominant over women.

I'm a woman. I have a pussy. Getting laid is easy. Most male subs approach service as something that feeds their fetishes, like I should view them giving me sex as a service rather than actual service. Want to make me purr? Wake me up with coffee just the way I like it. Draw me a bath. Make me a martini just the way I like it. Give me something that I can't get down at local bar. Do that and the rest will follow.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 4/7/2013 6:12:41 PM >

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(in reply to MizzSpitfire)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 5:44:05 PM   
Kolbey


Posts: 19
Joined: 4/7/2013
Status: offline 		I see where you're coming from, and sure most of what I say is fantasy. But I've had kinky thoughts most of my life, I have a feeling I would fit into the bdsm crowd pretty well once I've had a taste. I'm a very strange dude, therefore I need strange friends.
Not saying kinky folks are strange, but some of them probably think a lot like myself.

(in reply to phoenixasubbie)
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RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 6:37:38 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kolbey

I think I would enjoy being threatened with a knife, punished if I said/did something wrong/ maybe even spanked.



No sub should ever enjoy punishment. That defeats the purpose.

What you're referring to is sometimes called funishment. It's physically like punishment, but done purely for play. Frequently it's done as a roleplay.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Kolbey)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Do you think a Dom would prefer me? - 4/7/2013 6:58:14 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

OP, it honestly sounds like you are viewing a dominant female as a fetish delivery system designed to cater to your kinks. Many dominant women I know (myself included) dont roll like that. Im not here to give you your fantasies on a silver platter. im here to be one half of a collaboration. A partnership. I draw the line at abuse, "pretend" or actual. I don't pretend. And I sure as hell don't abuse people. I operate within boundaries and agreed upon limits.

Others have pointed things out far better than I.

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 20
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