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midmichiganguy -> RE: Is it harder for black subs? (4/8/2013 8:59:54 PM)
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[/quote]Really? You didn't have any fun? No opportunities to socialize? You didn't learn any new skills or information that has been helpful to you during and after that five years? You didn't meet any interesting people or form any new friendships?
You are right. If you didn't reap any of those benefits, it probably was a waste of your time. Perhaps that is why you appear to be so negative on this thread.
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If I am negative it is because I have wasted a total of 10 years of my life or approximately 29 percent of it in this lifestyle before I learned my lesson and stopped going/getting involved/or looking for something more within it. I started this lifestyle with the idea of continual self-improvement in the hopes that the more I learned the more valuable I would appear to a potential female Dominant. So I would volunteer, make connections, learn new skills inside and outside the lifestyle that would benefit a partner, and in general worked very, very hard at upgrading myself. Instead what I learned was that I met people who appeared stunted in their personal growth, who formed cliques, who had no desire to evolve beyond immediate hedonistic gratification, who could not generally hold a decent conversation on any topic with any sort of depth or insight, and who in turn had severe ulterior motives for nearly everything they did. I once had someone say that because my shoes were polished and I had a freshly ironed shirt on that I appeared high maintenance and arrogant. I replied that if basic hygene and maintenance were equated with arrogance then I did not want to know those would think so of me in the first place.
So to answer your questions then. Socializing? Not worth the effort or the time and the people are not those I want in my everyday life anyways. I don't have time for their drama, insecurities, mind games, or entitlement issues.
Having fun? Again, not really. To have fun you have to enjoy being there and if the majority of the people are a turn off then there is no fun to be had. Erego over time you simply stop going and getting involved. It is just such a shame it took me too many years to realize how things truly were in this lifestyle.
Learn new skill? Granted I did learn some new skills but I also learned a LOT more on my own through my own research and studying. And that turned off people more than anything. When you tell people that you work full-time, go to school full-time, and have still found time to learn swedish massage, culinary cooking, etc. etc. and they in turn get angry or upset because they have done nothing with their lives towards self-improvement then what I have I really learned from being there or meeting them in the first place?
Interesting people? A few here and a few there but not enough out of the masses to make it really worth my while. Plus most of the interesting people I met turned out to be very manipulative or very entitlement centered because of their self-proclaimed importance.
New friendships? Initially, yes. Until those friendships starting coming with severe price tags because I was submissive and therefore expected to act/behave/cow tow/and provide certain services like custodial maintenance or cooking for them and their parties. And when I stood up and said that no I wouldn't, then I had rumors, insinuations, and in one instance even threats leveled against me.
But anyways, moving on. OP, don't be a fool and don't let others use you. Keep an open mind and don't spend more time or effort than what you are receiving in return. If you don't self-monitor the people/places/events/ etc. then you will regret your decisions in this lifestyle.
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