RE: Interesting situation

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Sunshine119 -> RE: Interesting situation (6/23/2006 11:03:11 PM)
After dancing around the flames for about a year, with me gently asking her what she found so appealing in this man she met at her law program with whom she is always at odds, my 28 year old daughter finally admitted to me that she found herself very submissive to him (in all things) and found the sex better with him than with anyone she had ever been with. Of course she then asked me if I knew what a submissive was. I figured that you don't even try to invent a maze for your 28 year old law student daughter to navigate (trust me they ALL can), so I decided to tell her the truth about His Highness and I. She didn't seem at all surprised. But, Bitatruble, she hasn't asked to borrow my toys yet. On the other hand, I haven't asked to borrow her's either....lol She did ask me if I knew where she might meet some like minded men that were bright and could meet her needs. Toys may be one things. Pimp, I'm not!

cacodylic -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 12:21:07 AM)
As the German proverb says, "Der Apfel fällt nicht weit vom Stamm" -- the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, their equivalent of 'like father, like son' or mother/daughter in this case.

feastie -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 12:29:53 AM)
A friend of mine has a daughter, now an adult, who is a switch and it was recognized from the age of 15 or 16. I have no doubt that one day my daughter will come to me to tell me she's a Domme. (newsflash sweetie, you have been since you were two, thank you very much!) So, yes, it happens.

ShiftedJewel -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 5:37:33 AM)
*(Fast reply)* I have three grown kids... my oldest, when she was getting married, told me she wanted a "butterfly" for a wedding present. I asked if it had to specifically be a "butterfly"... she said no... she would settle for anything that would get her off... (I'm guessing the idiot she married didn't qualify for that statement... lol). My second daughter came to me one night and asked if I happened to have a spare set of suspension cuffs and a flogger? After I made sure she knew how to use them I told her she could keep them. My youngest, the boy, discovered the joy of paddles and gas masks. Are my kids kinky... oh yeah, big time! Two of them have asked for violet wands for Christmas and so far I've made six sets of floggers for the two younger couples. I make zippers... and one day I was in Hobby Lobby looking for beads (ok, so I make "pretty" zippers) and my middle daughter ask what the beads were for... I told her... she disappeared for a few minutes and came back with the cutest smiley face beads.... Yeah, I'd say she's a sadist. *The apples didn't fall far from this tree... but then again, they grew up around it so it doesn't surprise me.* *Jewel*

MizSuz -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 5:59:45 AM)
Very good story, KennelDeSade2! I've never lied to my son (26 years old now) about anything. If he asked I told (and often wondered if my 'total disclosure' attitude didn't inevitably offer too much up). A couple of years ago he asked me about rope technique so I gave him some links, talked about general safety and showed him a few things with rope - knots and what have you. I then loaned him some decent rope and some leather cuffs and such. When he and his gf brought them back he said "I wasn't sure what you said about X and X so I just used the cuffs." So I started answering his questions about X and the next thing I realized we were standing in my kitchen and I was putting a rope harness on his (clothed) gf. My roommate at the time was standing there and we looked up at each other at the same time and you could just about see the lights coming on over our heads when it dawned on us that I was teaching my kid bondage technique. We all laughed quite hard about it, but it's a typical story of how I"ve dealt with my son regarding information. If he asks I assume it's because he wants the information and I do for him what I would do for anyone - I give what I have to offer. I don't especially want to watch him play, but I've had parties full of my kink friends to introduce my son to my friends. It went very well and he's always been glad he can count on me to be straight with him, even if he doesn't like what I have to say. He's quite proud of the fact that we can talk about anything and he knows he can rely on me for the truth as I see it. I'm quite proud of it, too.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 7:59:33 AM)
It's a lot more common than people think. BR04 actually had a panel about this topic and had parents who had nilla (adult) kids on the panel and parents who had kinky kids on the panel with them. It was great hearing how they handled the situations. It's important to set your own boundaries, but this is just another part of helping them grow into themselves and grow into a responsible adult and hopefully have healthy relationships.

Sunshine119 -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 8:13:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross It's important to set your own boundaries, but this is just another part of helping them grow into themselves and grow into a responsible adult and hopefully have healthy relationships. I don't think this can be said enough. Even though they are adults, they are still our children. Consequently, there have to be boundries set and maintained. For example, attending the same play party and seeing your mother (or vice versa) in a compromising situation could be one of those boundries. AND, it might seem a bit over the line to ever find yourself in a situation where you are scening with your own child.....regardless of age!

LokisBrat -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 8:15:13 AM)
I have yet to be confronted by the oldest (17) on BDSM issues, but have answered many questions on my paganism and smoking those left handed cigs. Honesty is by far the best policy for any situation like this. I would like to add, for all those that have had them come with questions, your parenting skills are to be admired. For them to trust you enough to ask such questions, shows they respect you and your wisdom. LOKI

sublizzie -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 8:21:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Sunshine119 I don't think this can be said enough. Even though they are adults, they are still our children. Consequently, there have to be boundries set and maintained. For example, attending the same play party and seeing your mother (or vice versa) in a compromising situation could be one of those boundries. AND, it might seem a bit over the line to ever find yourself in a situation where you are scening with your own child.....regardless of age! Being a submissive and having 2 adult children who are Domme....there's no way I would scene with them. Trying to raise them was difficult enough. I still have to pull the "Mom" card more than I would like simply due to our opposite views. If I could I would be tempted to start another thread discussing the difficulties of parenting a Dom/me child when one is submissive. It is it's own brand of frustration.

Bella1 -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 8:29:49 AM)
I have met Bitatrouble, and I'm very proud to know her. She is truly a awsome person. Bella1 [:)]

BitaTruble -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 11:06:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Bella1 I have met Bitatrouble, and I'm very proud to know her. She is truly a awsome person. Bella1 [:)] Aw.. (((((bella))))))) You know first hand what a sadist I am since you worked for me for two years. ::laughs:: Next time you talk to MsNdsisuv, tell her to answer her freakin' Yahoo message! ::laughs:: I'm outta here for the day ... Himself and I are going mattress shopping. [8D] Celeste

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 11:14:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mnottertail Otherwise, you are gonna get the MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOoooooMMMMMMMMM! with that little eye snap that my daughter gives me. GAWD! I hate that. I may be a dom, but I ain't her dom. Your daughter calls you, "MMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooMMMMMMMM?" Umm, I think you might need to update your profile, as there's something you're obviously not telling us.

Tikkiee -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 12:55:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sublizzie I know we aren't supposed to mention our "unmentionables" but this one is an adult. Have any of you dealt with an unmentionable who is also kinky? Particularly one who is looking for community? My youngest finally came out to me as Domme. (Explains why raising her was so very difficult!) She is also lesbian. The school she attends, out in the sticks, has a GLBT group, but they do not accept Bears or Leather folk, even if they are GLBT. I am fairly new in the local community but know people who can help her find kindred spirits here while she's home from school this summer. Has anyone else introduced their progeny to thier local group? How do you deal with kinky descendents? Am I alone in this? I think its wonderful that you have the kind of relationship that she felt she could tell you this. Obviously she is looking to you for help on this journey. Just be there and try to share some xp with her. That's what parents are for [:)]

Noah -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 1:00:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: desertdancer If I even whisper the word "sex" to my mom, she looks like she's going to cry.. Wow. Incestuous lesbian psychological sadism. That's hardcore.

LadiesBladewing -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 1:01:21 PM)
You're not alone, my oldest (an adult) asked about who he could contact just a couple of months ago. It felt great that my adult offspring could ask me, and that I could help , and maybe even help him avoid some of the challenges I went through when I started out. ZWD

lisa1978 -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 2:01:56 PM)
My parents have lived this life their entire length of their relationship. It was just natural for me to talk to them about it when I became aware of my leanings. Certainly more so with my Mom than Dad. Getting involved with the local community which they were active in did not really bother them and certainly I had no problem because it was just no surprise there. There biggest problem was being concerned with what other people thought about the situation since I was eighteen but they got over that fairly fast. Now at play parties my Dad definitely did not want to be anywhere around me but my Mom could care less. That said, they tended to go to the over twenty-one events much more then the over eighteen ones. I would say your comfort level depends on your relationship with your unmentionables. If you are close and open about sexuality than I doubt after some initial weirdness that there would be a problem. If that area has always been don't see don't tell then maybe a good long talk would be in order. I would hate to see anybody not be active in a local community for reasons that are mostly pyschological.

Quivver -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 5:39:48 PM)
fast reply.......... a few years back one of the demon spawn bought collars and a split leash for a set of perfectly adorable twins in her honors english class. her idea was someone had to run their life and she took the job. ................... shrug

perverseangelic -> RE: Interesting situation (6/24/2006 11:08:08 PM)
Heh. I have the opposite problem then most, I think. I'm having a helluva time dealing with the fact that my mom is kinky. She's not leather or anything that...hardcore...but definatly kinky. I've been out to her for several years, and i'm having a whole lot of trouble dealing with her coming to me for advice on how to..uh.....instigate non-vanilla activities....with her partners. Weirds me out big time.

IronBear -> RE: Interesting situation (6/25/2006 12:18:54 AM)
I have a good mate who's daughter is 22 and refused to believe that she was not Virgo Intacta.. Even after she married and had a son, Father was convinced that it was an immaculate conception... Imagine his shock and horror when he attended a nudist camp only to be greated by daughter and son in law as the official greeters. (All were naked btw)....

becca333 -> RE: Interesting situation (6/25/2006 12:50:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear I have a good mate who's daughter is 22 and refused to believe that she was not Virgo Intacta.. Even after she married and had a son, Father was convinced that it was an immaculate conception... Imagine his shock and horror when he attended a nudist camp only to be greated by daughter and son in law as the official greeters. (All were naked btw).... Oh thank you - I got a wonderful laugh from that one!

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