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Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/11/2013 9:38:44 PM   
LostLionCub


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline 		my Mistress has been looking for a slave, and she had found one on FetLife, and had been speaking to her for some time. She had seemed like she'd be perfect for her, not wanting sex, willingness to clean and be generally treated like a being there to clean up and help around the house. Then, came the problems.... According to my Mistress, this 'slave' keeps trying to top her from the bottom, seeming at first like she'll obey, then demanding things and trying to manipulate my Mistress to do what she wants her to do.

Fortunately, all of this has been going on ONLY online. Although, she had brought her down once, and she'd been in the home for the night, and then left early the next day, claiming that she missed her owner / wife that she'd previously said she was more than willing to leave. The behavior of going from slave-like in all ways and begging to be 'saved' and brought to be my Mistress' slave to trying to manipulate her and demanding things continued, even through her being brought down a second time, only to turn around once more and leave to return to her owner / wife. my Mistress has repeatedly given her chances, as she's wont to do because she's kind, only to be blown off and all but abused and manipulated by this woman.

Finally, just tonight, she was arguing with her, and this 'slave' demanded that if she were to come down and stay, my Mistress would have to proclaim her as her second AND have sex with her, then when her demands were shot down, she basically 'screamed' at my Mistress. i KNOW, despite being only a pet, that this is NOT normal behavior.

But.... i don't know if this is a sign of this woman being only a submissive who doesn't know what she wants, or if she's a manipulative b*tch, or a dom who doesn't know it. How can i tell? And, is something majorly amiss here, or is this a normal behavior for some 'slaves'? By the way, this woman who claims to be a slave is nearly 50, and has been a 'slave' for at least ten years.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/11/2013 10:06:18 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Well, from you have said here, your mistress doesn't "own" this other woman yet, so she can't top from the bottom in my opinion. From my perspective, since no agreement has yet been reached, it's all negotiation.

Regardless of that, no, I don't believe this woman is sure of what she wants, but your mistress is also making a mistake. That mistake is thinking of getting involved with someone who is already in a relationship. It doesn't matter that the woman claims she is ready to leave her wife/partner or not. The fact is that she hasn't, and one would have to assume that she isn't being honest with her partner either when she comes to visit with your mistress.

Her age, her demands all mean nothing. Each of us, whether submissive, slave or pet has the right to want what we want. You yourself make demands of people in your profile, should we consider you not to have that right as a pet? Of course not.

Only your mistress can make a decision as to what SHE wants to do here; continue to see someone who is already committed to someone else, or give up and look for someone who is more compatible.

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/11/2013 10:56:48 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline 		Sounds like the woman has a lot of issues to work out, within herself and her current relationship. She's probably just really stressed and confused - I know I sure was when my marriage was breaking up. Adding visits to your home is just adding more problems for herself. Leaving a spouse/long term relationship is no easy feat, no matter what shape the relationship is in.

Not sure why your Mistress is continuing with someone who is in such a state, but that seems to be inviting drama into your home. I'm in agreement with what LafayetteLady said. Your Mistress is continuing with someone already in a relationship and can choose to continue to do so or choose to find someone available and who knows what she wants.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/11/2013 11:00:13 PM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		Who knows what this woman's deal is? Maybe she is confused, maybe she thought that by promising to be an unpaid housekeeper she'd have better odds of getting into bed, maybe she's just a nutter.

What is clear though is that this woman is a drama-timebomb. Why is your Mistress getting involved with someone in a relationship? It sounds like this isn't a full-on poly arrangement (because then why would she need to leave, especially since it sounds like she's going to be a part time service sub?) so is this woman cheating? Why wouldn't she (the other woman) end the relationship before seeking a new one? Doing it the opposite way seems like a recipe for causing the maximum amount of conflict possible.

Arguments happen but a screaming match down the phone at this early stage doesn't bode well.

I agree that you can't top from the bottom unless you are already submitting to someone. But if your Mistress feels manipulated, why would she continue speaking to this person? Without being part of those conversations it's difficult to tell exactly what was going on - was this woman really trying to manipulate or just negotiate for what she wanted? But either way, she and your Mistress obviously want different things. I'm surprised this has got to this point, since if I were looking to add a slave I wouldn't be considering anyone that was going to bring drama and hurt to my partner.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 12:33:21 AM   
Kirata


Posts: 15477
Joined: 2/11/2006
From: USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LostLionCub

is something majorly amiss here...?

Yeah. With your "Mistress".

K.

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 7:12:11 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		What everyone said :)

Yes, there is stuff amiss here all over the place.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Kirata)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 7:19:03 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

She had seemed like she'd be perfect for her, not wanting sex, willingness to clean and be generally treated like a being there to clean up and help around the house. Then, came the problems....


I don't understand why your Mistress didn't bring things to a screeching halt when the potential's actions stopped matching her words.

_____________________________

Curious about the "Sluts Vote" avatars? See http://www.collarchat.com/m_4133036/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#4133036

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 7:19:15 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

And, is something majorly amiss here, or is this a normal behavior for some 'slaves'?



The dominant here is not your "Mistress". The supposed cyber sub is the one that seems to be calling the shots here and your "Mistress" seems to be throwing a tantrum instead of actually taking control.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 7:31:06 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Fast reply.

OP, I think your 'Mistress' puts up with more bullshit than I ever would.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 7:39:58 AM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		yep, I am with her.
Your mistress has squat.

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 8:04:54 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LostLionCub
And, is something majorly amiss here,



Lots of things are amiss here, and some of them are things that you're not going to like hearing.

quote:

According to my Mistress, this 'slave' keeps trying to top her from the bottom, seeming at first like she'll obey, then demanding things and trying to manipulate my Mistress to do what she wants her to do.
Since this isn't her submissive, they can't possibly be topping from the bottom.


quote:

Fortunately, all of this has been going on ONLY online.
Well, there's your first mistake. You're confusing real life with online. Online is easy to deal with things that aren't going the way you like. Simply shut it off.

quote:

Although, she had brought her down once, and she'd been in the home for the night, and then left early the next day, claiming that she missed her owner / wife that she'd previously said she was more than willing to leave.
So, let me get this straight: your Mistress is involved with an "s" that is cheating on the spouse and is planning on leaving that spouse for your Mistress. Nice set of morals there.


quote:

even through her being brought down a second time, only to turn around once more and leave to return to her owner / wife.
Yup, because that's what cheaters do and how the piece on the side gets treated.

quote:

my Mistress has repeatedly given her chances, as she's wont to do because she's kind,
How kind is she being to this submissives current "wife?

quote:

Finally, just tonight, she was arguing with her, and this 'slave' demanded that if she were to come down and stay, my Mistress would have to proclaim her as her second AND have sex with her, then when her demands were shot down, she basically 'screamed' at my Mistress. i KNOW, despite being only a pet, that this is NOT normal behavior.
You keep wanting to put an expectation that this submissive should be behaving as if there is a dynamic in place...and there isn't.

I'll agree that something seems fishy. But you're talking about a person that is shopping for the next relationship when she hasn't left the current one. The fact that your Mistress thinks that it's okay to be involved with someone to the point of considering ownership while that submissive is in a committed relationship with someone else, does not speak well of your Mistress either.

So, before you go throwing the submisssive under the bus...stop and remember that your Mistress is not exactly a shining paragon.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 8:24:52 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		I am wondering why does your mistress need someone else to come and clean, when she already has you?

Is your mistress so disorganised that her messes are too much for the two of you to keep up with?

Presumably, you would have the majority of the cleaning to do, and then she would have a specific task or 3 to do herself.

Well-working households usually work because people work together to fix issues, and people typically tidy after themselves.

_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 9:26:38 AM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LostLionCub
i KNOW, despite being only a pet, that this is NOT normal behavior.

But.... i don't know if this is a sign of this woman being only a submissive who doesn't know what she wants,
or if she's a manipulative b*tch, or a dom who doesn't know it. How can i tell?
And, is something majorly amiss here, or is this a normal behavior for some 'slaves'?

What exactly do you plan to do with the answers we give you? Suppose, for example, that this is normal
behavior for this specific slave? It's apparent that your mistress is willing to tolerate it, so knowing whether or
not it's normal isn't likely to make any difference. Labeling this person as submissive, slave or wildebeest
won't make her behavior change or be more accepted either, so I'm really confused by your need to do so.

Something is definitely amiss here, and it isn't just this potential slave's behavior.


_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 10:19:50 AM   
LostLionCub


Posts: 2
Joined: 1/29/2011
Status: offline 		This woman was planning on going from online to IRL, and she'd already signed agreements to be owned by my Mistress, so yes, it seems to be topping from the bottom. i know there's a different term for it, but that was the only term i could think of that covered it. And, my Mistress had blocked her on several occasions only to be contacted via other methods. And the 'visits' were meant for this woman to come to live, not to visit. Her relationship with her owner / wife had fallen apart, and the arrangement was in name only at that point, and she'd been touting herself as being strictly a non-sexual part-time service slave, and had signed contracts that stated that.

my Mistress is kind, and doesn't like it when other people suffer, and at times, i admit, her kindness puts her into bad situations. And, as her pet, i only go on what little she tells me and what little i overhear by accident.

i plan to just keep the knowledge to myself, so if a situation like this happens again in the future to my Mistress with someone else, i can try and let her know that she's being hurt. It's part of my job as both her pet, as well as a member of her small self-adopted family to try and help her with whatever she needs, and to try and protect her as well as i can from the things that i'm allowed to protect her from.

(in reply to poise)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 10:29:13 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LostLionCub
This woman was planning on going from online to IRL, and she'd already signed agreements to be owned by my Mistress,

I would doubt the mental stability of anyone who did this. And I have no confidence in the emotional stability of anyone who would use this as a recruitment tactic.

LLC, do you really, truly, not realize how fucked up this is?

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 11:04:18 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

This woman was planning on going from online to IRL, and she'd already signed agreements to be owned by my Mistress


You realize, don't you, that those agreements aren't worth the paper they are written on?

LLC, you seem to be owned by an idiot.

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to LostLionCub)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 11:10:57 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
LLC, you seem to be owned by an idiot.
I was literally considering writing a Mod to ask if I could use this exact phrase.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 11:13:57 AM   
searching4mysir


Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
LLC, you seem to be owned by an idiot.
I was literally considering writing a Mod to ask if I could use this exact phrase.





Is it really a "personal attack" if you are name-calling a third-party?

_____________________________

No longer searching -- found my one and only right here on CM


(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 11:42:20 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: searching4mysir
Is it really a "personal attack" if you are name-calling a third-party?
I don't think so. I was more in the mood not to get busted this morning if it was.



_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to searching4mysir)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Is this a sign of something amiss? - 4/12/2013 1:30:29 PM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

Unfortunately you can't protect people from their own foolishness and stupidity, OP. There is no way in hell that I personally would put up with this bullshit behavior from anyone, let alone bring their chaos and drama into my home. But then again in my home, I run the show. The show doesn't run me.

Things are honestly so amiss here and I'm confident it won't end well if this goes forward. And it'll end. If the one who was supposed to be in charge is this easily manipulated, just who is really in charge? Good luck, you'll need it. It's your life too and you are getting dragged into a huge fucking mess if this rolls forward. AC/DC didn't call it the Highway To Hell for nothin'

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 20
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