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RE: what feeds your submission - 4/17/2013 5:49:25 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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Yeah, being praised can be nice sometimes but all those things you mentioned about a job, I do anyway without even second guessing. To me it's just part of working with a team. To me it's just good manners. Why would I need for my boss to praise me for it. It's just common sense to do. My new boss tends to thank me at least once everyday for doing certain things in my job and I, for the life of me, have no idea why. I'm doing my job.

I think it's the same with Master. I don't really think twice about doing things for Master. I just do it....not because I love him, not because he will praise me, not because I'm his slave, but simply because things have gotta get done and I hate for things to sit around and not get done. It's why I take the initiative usually to do something...because I cringe to wait for someone else to do it. I want it done and gone.

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Post #: 21

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/17/2013 7:48:18 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Yeah, being praised can be nice sometimes but...

Quite predictably, what you said would be true of Carol too. But with Carol I would also say that long-term neglect in the form of lack of recognition would take it's toll. In point of fact, we were there once maybe 8 years back. It was a dark time in our marriage.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 22

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/17/2013 10:46:48 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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~ Fast Reply ~

These questions are usually kinda difficult for me to answer. I started writing out this whole long post as I was processing my thoughts on it and in doing so, I came to the actual conclusion.

What feeds my submission is a healthy relationship with him. In an unhealthy relationship (or if we're going through an unhealthy period that needs fixing), I have no desire to submit. So whether he's complimenting me, chastising me (which is rare), or anything in between...in the context of a happy, loving, healthy, intimate relationship - I submit without even thinking about it, and I'm happy doing so.

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(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 23

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/18/2013 3:40:57 AM

chasteslave241

Posts: 6
Joined: 4/15/2013
Status: offline

Interesting question. As far as I can remember I have been submissive towards women, maybe even in a Don Quixote type of way: I love women and have a need to worship them

In that sense, to know that my Dominant is happy with what I do, or even gets aroused for me feeds my submission. In fact, I am now getting into a very strict D/s relation and I keep a blog (you can find the link in my profile if you're interested) and it is truly a journey of discovery. For the first time I may sign an actual slave contract though I know that I don't need it to be fully focused on my Dominant's pleasure. However, it will please Her to no end when I sign, so...

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 24

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/18/2013 3:59:51 AM

AthenaSurrenders

Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
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psst, Chaste - your current picture shows your penis so it's not allowed as a primary. You can still have it on your profile but for your main picture you need to censor it or put a different shot up. Otherwise the mods will take it down. I assume you want people to see the picture so I thought I would warn you before hand. Welcome to the boards.

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Post #: 25

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/18/2013 5:49:55 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: JeffBC

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder
Yeah, being praised can be nice sometimes but...

Quite predictably, what you said would be true of Carol too. But with Carol I would also say that long-term neglect in the form of lack of recognition would take it's toll. In point of fact, we were there once maybe 8 years back. It was a dark time in our marriage.

Oh I'm not saying it's not nice to hear sometimes when I do something extraordinary like when he requests something of me that I find incredibly hard for me but for just cleaning the house, doing the laundry, doing all his paperwork, etc...just seems weird to me to praise me for. When I do that stuff, I might in the back of my mind, remind myself of how he likes it to be done but I still have to do that stuff, whether he was in my life or not. The same would be true of my job. To be thanked and praised for doing my job that I get paid to do, is strange unless I've done something out of the ordinary and going the extra 10 miles.

Now if Master NEVER praised me ever, be it verbally or emotionally, then I would wonder what I was doing wrong and would have to really look over my own life to find out why I'm not going that extra mile for him.

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Post #: 26

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/18/2013 9:13:49 PM

NuevaVida

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Now if Master NEVER praised me ever, be it verbally or emotionally, then I would wonder what I was doing wrong and would have to really look over my own life to find out why I'm not going that extra mile for him.

This is where I'm different. If the Mister never praised me I'd think he took me for granted and was unappreciative. I'd already know whether or not I was doing all I could for him and this relationship. His lack of kudos would bother me, and I'd tell him I felt taken for granted.

Where we differ is I think life flows best when people are appreciate for even the little things, and express that appreciation. It's far too easy to take people & things for granted. I often let people know I appreciate them, and appreciate when they do the same to me. But then hey, I thank my little cat every night for making me smile, so....

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Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 27

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/19/2013 6:08:26 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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I think for me, I just most times, really don't like any kind of spotlight on me. I'd rather be just left to my own devices. Like I said, I love when he pays attention to me by maybe doing something for me but only if he enjoys doing it and not because he feels obligated. I get really uncomfortable most times when anyone gives me compliments or praise. I'm guessing it probably came from the religious morals I grew up with.

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Post #: 28

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/19/2013 6:19:12 PM

NuevaVida

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Joined: 8/5/2008
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::grins:: And I have no problem at all being the center of attention.

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Post #: 29

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/19/2013 6:24:52 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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really? I would have never figured that out from your princess photo avatar.

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Post #: 30

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/19/2013 8:04:55 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

really? I would have never figured that out from your princess photo avatar.

LOLOLOL

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 31

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/19/2013 9:27:42 PM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

really? I would have never figured that out from your princess photo avatar.

LMAO!!

Hey, well that was my birthday and he DID give me a tiara.....

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

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Post #: 32

RE: what feeds your submission - 4/21/2013 9:21:12 AM

phoenixasubbie

Posts: 55
Joined: 10/28/2012
Status: offline

I get a peace from submitting myself to another that I am unable to achieve in any other way. I believe it comes from having the freedom of being who and what I am.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 33

RE: what feeds your submission - 5/9/2013 10:50:28 PM

alildifferent

Posts: 38
Joined: 9/30/2012
Status: offline

It's hard to pin it on any one thing. I know submissiveness was begun with sexual addiction. I was given multiple orgasms for prolonged periods of extreme intensity (there were points that made me wonder if I was going to pass out) by an experienced dom. Everything vanilla after it fell flat. I soon began rationalizing excuses to be a sub. After a while I just accepted it as part of me. Now I'd say I enjoy it for the protective aspects. I hate leading. Submissiveness protects me from it. The world is a hard, hard, place. It's attractive to find a person much stronger person than yourself that can take it on so you don't have to. You shelter under the guiding hand of an aggressive person that enters the rat race and makes rat stew out of the race. I like how it simplifies life. All I have to do is make one person happy for a time. I'm a gentle and quiet person by nature. I feel submission allows me to be myself. Something the vanilla world doesn't allow.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 34

RE: what feeds your submission - 5/10/2013 3:40:09 PM

Submissivekerl

Posts: 26
Joined: 3/2/2013
Status: offline

Well, simple I would say submission for me is fed through love , I know it sounds abit cliche but once you are in love (me) that is submissivness just flows, I mean come on you have this pretty girl who you would give the world to. Kink is something else it seems again talking about myself, I am mostly kinky when I am aroused in a sense. Meh ... Hope it makes sense :)

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 35

RE: what feeds your submission - 5/10/2013 6:23:32 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

My new boss tends to thank me at least once everyday for doing certain things in my job and I, for the life of me, have no idea why. I'm doing my job.

As a supervisor who thanks her staff all the time, I can offer at least my own personal insight. I do it because I TRULY appreciate someone's efforts. Just "doing their job" is one thing but doing it well and going that extra mile is what most of them do daily. They would get paid if they made half the effort they make. I've seen so many people who just do enough to get by that it makes my day when people actually enjoy their job and do it better than they have to. I say "thank you" because I mean it. I would rather have a crew of good people who know how much I value them than a bunch of people just doing the bare minimum. Never let it be said that they don't know how important they are to me

luci

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Post #: 36

RE: what feeds your submission - 5/11/2013 1:07:50 AM

littleclip

Posts: 869
Joined: 5/31/2012
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yes it is more than just thank you it is the feeling that i have been apreciated and the dominance that my subnissiveness needs to grow and develop. grounded by a touch to me that sems to flush everything out and away and then fills me up with a warm briliant light that fills me to overflowing and then back through her for that feeling i would endure anything and do anything just to have that one moment
just clip

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Post #: 37

RE: what feeds your submission - 5/18/2013 7:14:57 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
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I cannot rationalize my feelings of submission, as I've had no real opportunity to explore it. I don't think I would be seeking 'gratitude', as that would be taking things out of context, but, wouldn't it be wonderful just to have that feeling of making your 'significant others'' life that bit better, something special in your heart?

Gary.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 38

RE: what feeds your submission - 5/18/2013 7:38:22 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

Intense chemistry, a healthy reward system, compatibility, and strength.

No intensity- no submissive desire
No reward- no submissive desire, or I have building resentment
incompatiblility- again, resentment
No strength-their decisions have to have a better outcome then mine, if not, I lose respect.

INTENSITY, I would like to add this was also the downfall, its rare for me, and it kept me in a relationship longer then it should have, due to not wanting to lose that rare jewel of it.

< Message edited by chatterbox24 -- 5/18/2013 7:43:10 AM >

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Post #: 39

RE: what feeds your submission - 5/18/2013 7:38:43 AM

Born2PleezeU

Posts: 28
Joined: 5/3/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: alildifferent

Now I'd say I enjoy it for the protective aspects. I hate leading. Submissiveness protects me from it. The world is a hard, hard, place. It's attractive to find a person much stronger person than yourself that can take it on so you don't have to. You shelter under the guiding hand of an aggressive person that enters the rat race and makes rat stew out of the race. I like how it simplifies life. All I have to do is make one person happy for a time. I'm a gentle and quiet person by nature. I feel submission allows me to be myself. Something the vanilla world doesn't allow.

As someone who has frequently been "the boss" in real life, and who has always been the pillar of strength for my family, your quoted response very succinctly and aptly expresses a significant part of why I revel in my submissive side and am seeking a LTR with a dominant woman. I can still be strong as a submissive, but it is extremely liberating to relinquish control in the service of another, and to enjoy their protection and guidance for a change. I, too, am a gentle person by nature, but life has all too often required me to play the role of the aggressor/boss/strong one, which I can perform well as needed, but which is actually contrary to my nature. I am now earnestly seeking a life more in sync and harmony with my submissiveness.

(in reply to alildifferent)

Post #: 40

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