quote:

ORIGINAL: kookycreature

My whole post got eaten by the glitch monster the first time around - not amused.

Successful Age Gap Relationships. While the linked article is concerning primarily a vanilla relationship, many qualities can come over into BDSM - compatible ideals, trust, honest and open communication amongst other things. I am 22, while my Master/boyfriend is in his mid-60s. Do we get odd looks? Probably. Do friends and family ostracize us? No. Because we don't make or see age as any sort of issue; it's a minor quality. More important are mutual goals and interests, mutual attraction and trust. I'm not with him for his money, and he is not for me for my looks. He doesn't act his age either, and has actually said that if he ever starts doing so, he'll understand if I up and leave. I do not have 'Daddy issues' either, as my relationship with my own father is perfectly healthy.

To summarise... age-gaps in vanilla relationships and age-gaps in BDSM are entirely up to the people involved in it. There is no such thing as an overall 'right' upper age limit. Some are happy with 40+ year gaps. Some will only have a 30, 20 or 10 year gap. Some won't even entertain that, and want someone within a few years or even younger! Age gaps must not be judged by the years, but by the qualities that they have. Are both partners emotionally happy? Are both partners communicating well? Is there trust and open honesty? Is there no physical, emotional or mental abuse?

That's my $0.02.

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ORIGINAL: Arturas

I think you are flirting with this older man. Yes. I am sure of it. It's ok.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: kookycreature

My whole post got eaten by the glitch monster the first time around - not amused.

Successful Age Gap Relationships. While the linked article is concerning primarily a vanilla relationship, many qualities can come over into BDSM - compatible ideals, trust, honest and open communication amongst other things. I am 22, while my Master/boyfriend is in his mid-60s. Do we get odd looks? Probably. Do friends and family ostracize us? No. Because we don't make or see age as any sort of issue; it's a minor quality. More important are mutual goals and interests, mutual attraction and trust. I'm not with him for his money, and he is not for me for my looks. He doesn't act his age either, and has actually said that if he ever starts doing so, he'll understand if I up and leave. I do not have 'Daddy issues' either, as my relationship with my own father is perfectly healthy.

To summarise... age-gaps in vanilla relationships and age-gaps in BDSM are entirely up to the people involved in it. There is no such thing as an overall 'right' upper age limit. Some are happy with 40+ year gaps. Some will only have a 30, 20 or 10 year gap. Some won't even entertain that, and want someone within a few years or even younger! Age gaps must not be judged by the years, but by the qualities that they have. Are both partners emotionally happy? Are both partners communicating well? Is there trust and open honesty? Is there no physical, emotional or mental abuse?

That's my $0.02.

So things work for you with an older partner, how wonderful. You chose the right person for you. and you prefer an older man...that's great. It's wonderful to see people choosing what is the right thing for them, and having the ability to make that choice. I honestly don't care what other people choose, as long as it's right for them.

I wonder why it is that it seems to be wrong to some older men if the choice is NOT to be with an older partner? Then, there is much whining and butthurt. I wonder why it's ok with them for a younger woman to choose an older man, but it's not ok for a younger woman to not choose an older man? Choices, whatever they are, should be the prerogative of the chooser, and the reasons that the choices exist aren't really up for debate. A choice is a choice, and we're all entitled to them no matter if the base for the choice is whimsy or a deep seated need.

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi

quote:

ORIGINAL: muhly22222

FR

I guess it depends on how young you're talking. You're 63...if you're talking about a woman who is, say, 50, that's one thing. If you're looking for a 25-year-old, that's another issue.

(I mostly wanted to reply because he said I couldn't...I'm feeling contrarian this morning.)

Lol on being contrary...I have to admit I've done the same thing in the past on threads that call for male Masters only, or some such thing.

I'd like to discuss your comment that the 13 year age difference wouldn't matter as much if the women were older. I'm 51, I'd not consider a 63 year old. For me, the 5 year difference or less has become even more important as I age because there is a big difference in health sometimes from year to year as we get older.

The 5 year thing wasn't so crucial when I was younger, although for me, it still gives me that common ground with another person. Now it definitely is important to try to stay within 5 years of my partner or close to that, because of having common ground again, and more importantly now, I don't want to be nursing anyone. If I were in a relationship, and I've aged with someone, and they decline as we're aging, that's one thing, but to take on a new relationship - I need to consider that the person I'm with is in good health. As we know good health is harder to come by with increasing age. I look at age for this reason.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastertlb

Age old question about age... so many are afflicted with it's puzzlement. But if you pause n think about it age is nothing more than a number that denotes time spent. The way 'you' think about age/time is reflected by the part of society you and your parents were raised/lived in. Take for example "sodomy" there are literally thousands of people that love ass/anal play and actually advertise that they do.... but look over your shoulder.. how many are there that don't? infact sodomy is considered illegal in some states (citation needed) so what do you do? shrug your shoulder n say their loss.. right? Now look at age and the things we "tag" as old.. cars get old but become more valuable.. well some do. cheese gets old n' people crave its flavor as well as wine, furniture is an antique. Why are somethings that are "old" ok but people (especially "men") are not? The singer Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13-14 year old cousin, Anna Nicole Smith married that rich old fart. Sure there were factions of society that turned their collective noses n' looked down on these people but for the most part people accepted it. Older women looking for young guys are Cougars in fact they had a tv show "Cougar town" No problem right? But let an old/older man try it? He labeled a creep, dirty ole man, cradle robber and worse. Yes there are a few groups out there where young women seek older men but not many. In conclusion to this I feel the whole issue of "he's too old" should land squarely on "your fathers" shoulders... yes 'cause if he would have "bitch slapped" his wife for telling the daughter "he's too old for you" then age wouldn't be a factor. And you women out there.. before you write and TRY to flame me for my thoughts, conclusions and opinions... DON"T ! Are you better that the people of the world, the ones unfettered by our societies closed minds that age is a factor? Or even the Appalacian

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastertlb
Why are somethings that are "old" ok but people (especially "men") are not? The singer Jerry Lee Lewis married his 13-14 year old cousin, Anna Nicole Smith married that rich old fart. Sure there were factions of society that turned their collective noses n' looked down on these people but for the most part people accepted it. Older women looking for young guys are Cougars in fact they had a tv show "Cougar town" No problem right? But let an old/older man try it? He labeled a creep, dirty ole man, cradle robber and worse.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst


LOL ok, this is funny as heck.
Men have been marrying younger women for a HELL of a lot longer than so called cougar females have married younger men.
Are you in some sort of alternate universe?
If the old guy can support it and the young woman wishes it, go for it. I just don't see the advantage for the young lady with some older guy without a sufficient base to work from.
Now Hef... he can have all he wants.

LOL.. I just knew there would be a couple out there that can't read nor understand the message within the message. Let me see if I can put it into much simpler words for you. you are born clueless, you are brought up by others a little more mature, those people teach you what they perceive as right n wrong whether it is or not. Would you care for a FACTUAL example of a "society" that still TODAY cuts the womans clit out when she is but 16 years old? THAT is fact not fiction... who is to blame for that mutilation? The society in which she lives. Who does the cutting? the Elder women. So when I say the wife shoulda got slapped I'm going on the assumption that it is extremely unlikely a man told the 18-21 year old woman "No! go away..you're too young for me" I think it more likely the women who got dumped by a man BECAUSE of a young woman that society took on the closed minded thinking. Need another example of a society that rules the people? One name..."Mormons". Bottom line here is the society inwhich you were raised formed your opinions for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel



For crap's sake, people having an age preference for people their own age is our father's fault? Wtf? It isn't a close minded "thing" propagated by any faction of society to prefer whatever it is that we like, and our father's didn't have to "bitch slap" our mothers for telling their daughters that older men were too old. What a ton of idiotic assumptions. Age preference has nothing to do with sodomy laws- what the heck are you on?

My mother never told me anything about men, she never got involved in who I was dating at all. My own preference is that I do not find older man attractive, I'm not sexually attracted to them. I'm entitled to that. It's got nothing to do with any ideas planted in my head or societal pressure, my vag doesn't get moist around older men. Deal with it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastertlb
Oh really? society has absolutely nothing to do with your mindset huh? Are you fricken serious or just stupid as hell? (I'm betting on the latter) Ok tell ya what.. I'll appologise to you n' everybody here the day after I read your profile WITH your Picture, name and adress in say.. The New York Times newspaper. After all society has nothing to do with how people think or judge others.. Right? So you shouldn't have an issue should you? What would you care if your neighbors know of your proclivities? your relatives, the town? Their opinion doesn't count.. they aren't part of "society".. yeah go for it... what do you have to loose?

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastertlb
Oh really? society has absolutely nothing to do with your mindset huh? Are you fricken serious or just stupid as hell? (I'm betting on the latter) Ok tell ya what.. I'll appologise to you n' everybody here the day after I read your profile WITH your Picture, name and adress in say.. The New York Times newspaper. After all society has nothing to do with how people think or judge others.. Right? So you shouldn't have an issue should you? What would you care if your neighbors know of your proclivities? your relatives, the town? Their opinion doesn't count.. they aren't part of "society".. yeah go for it... what do you have to loose?

Ummmmm, Dude. Three things here. The first is that you might want to skip calling people stupid. It's against the guidelines to personally attack another poster. The second is that the site owns the profile and would have copyright over the profile here. (It's in the ToS.) Third, there are past and present members of this site who are more than "out" and have had articles about them in major newspapers, usually around the time they hit the best sellers list.

My neighbors know that I have a dungeon in My home. They also knew when My submissive was living here with My husband and I. You can't exactly hide a 6'3" man in a small town like this. I've given interviews that have been published. I've also been broadcast.

Just some things to keep in mind.

quote:

ORIGINAL: 15speed

Wow, didn't realize that I gave the impression that is what I wanted. I asked because of several contacts that I have had, and I wondered how common it was. BTW, an active, healthy 61 would work for me.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastertlb

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst


LOL ok, this is funny as heck.
Men have been marrying younger women for a HELL of a lot longer than so called cougar females have married younger men.
Are you in some sort of alternate universe?
If the old guy can support it and the young woman wishes it, go for it. I just don't see the advantage for the young lady with some older guy without a sufficient base to work from.
Now Hef... he can have all he wants.

LOL.. I just knew there would be a couple out there that can't read nor understand the message within the message. Let me see if I can put it into much simpler words for you. you are born clueless, you are brought up by others a little more mature, those people teach you what they perceive as right n wrong whether it is or not. Would you care for a FACTUAL example of a "society" that still TODAY cuts the womans clit out when she is but 16 years old? THAT is fact not fiction... who is to blame for that mutilation? The society in which she lives. Who does the cutting? the Elder women. So when I say the wife shoulda got slapped I'm going on the assumption that it is extremely unlikely a man told the 18-21 year old woman "No! go away..you're too young for me" I think it more likely the women who got dumped by a man BECAUSE of a young woman that society took on the closed minded thinking. Need another example of a society that rules the people? One name..."Mormons". Bottom line here is the society inwhich you were raised formed your opinions for you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Mastertlb

quote:

ORIGINAL: Killerangel



For crap's sake, people having an age preference for people their own age is our father's fault? Wtf? It isn't a close minded "thing" propagated by any faction of society to prefer whatever it is that we like, and our father's didn't have to "bitch slap" our mothers for telling their daughters that older men were too old. What a ton of idiotic assumptions. Age preference has nothing to do with sodomy laws- what the heck are you on?

My mother never told me anything about men, she never got involved in who I was dating at all. My own preference is that I do not find older man attractive, I'm not sexually attracted to them. I'm entitled to that. It's got nothing to do with any ideas planted in my head or societal pressure, my vag doesn't get moist around older men. Deal with it.

Oh really? society has absolutely nothing to do with your mindset huh? Are you fricken serious or just stupid as hell? (I'm betting on the latter) Ok tell ya what.. I'll appologise to you n' everybody here the day after I read your profile WITH your Picture, name and adress in say.. The New York Times newspaper. After all society has nothing to do with how people think or judge others.. Right? So you shouldn't have an issue should you? What would you care if your neighbors know of your proclivities? your relatives, the town? Their opinion doesn't count.. they aren't part of "society".. yeah go for it... what do you have to loose?