RE: Donate or keep for play

RE: Donate or keep for play (Full Version)

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Rasciallymisty -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/22/2013 11:30:45 AM)
My first collar DJ left with me, he said he had it made for me it was mine. When we went our seprated ways it was as friends, the same as we went into the relationship as. I still have it...one never knows what tomorrow may bring[;)]. My second collar is still mine as Brad passed away, that one I have with other things of his I have saved. [:)] I am happy that both are still mine and that neither where taken back. [:)]

subinsilicon -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/22/2013 11:45:55 AM)
Responding only to the OP, I would suggest using it on a real dog and enjoying the fact that it was the collar you used on your prior sub.

Focus50 -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/22/2013 1:53:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact As many of you know, I am a leather person. One of the beliefs that I hold as a leather person is that a collar isn't owned by the person who is wearing it. A collar belongs to the person who put it on someone's neck. This is also the reason why I believe the M-type*** holds the responsibility for purchasing/crafting the collar. While the collar itself is going to be purchased/made with a particular person in mind, at the end of the day, it really does belong to the M. With this in mind, about a month ago, I wanted some repair work done on a collar I had bought some time back. Originally, My intent was for the person wearing the collar to have the opportunity to learn about working the leather. I'm a "get the hell out of the way" kind of gal when it comes to knowing that someone else can do a better job at something than I can. To make a long story short, in the end, I basically had a situation where I commissioned the third party for the work on the collar, which I must say was an excellent job. Serious props to the person who did the job. It looks better than new. In the meantime, the person who was wearing the collar no longer had earned the right to do so. (It's another leather thing.) I now have this beautifully restored collar and I am in the process of deciding what to do with it. I am fully against saving it for the next dynamic. That's just outright tacky to Me. It's not some kind of heirloom. It's also not a keepsake. I'm not sticking it in a box somewhere or wanting to preserve it in relation to positive memories. It's just not that to Me, so those options are out. I've come to two thoughts on the matter. One is to donate it to some fund raising cause or another. Since it's been properly restored, it could absolutely find a fitting situation at auction for charity. It most certainly does have monetary value. My other thought is a little more wicked. It absolutely would serve well as a play collar, and would do particularly well for leashing scenes. No, I'm not big on play collars but I have no aversion to dragging a person about on all fours. I happen to like that kind of thing and a person doesn't really have to be Mine for Me to engage in it. I was curious about people's thoughts on this and what you would do/have done with old collars. *** M-type - No offense to those who prefer the D label. Since this thread, in part, is about My beliefs as a leather person, I'm going with M. Ok, I'm not big on these leather traditions/protocols so pardon my general ignorance. But yeah, I agree a collar does not belong to the wearer and so I don't permit my girl to physically put it on, herself, if it's been removed for some everyday reason. And nor do I recycle, if the relationship ends. So I'm wondering.... As far as I'm concerned, if the relationship has ended, she can then take the collar with her. I'm not gonna put it on another, and the fact that I didn't permit her to put it on herself means it's lost all symbolism of ownership. It's just a prop now. If she does wear it for another, that's a matter of their standards, not mine. I vaguely recall an old western series when I was a kid. "Branded", maybe? Chuck Connors, maybe? (Google is NOT my friend) Anyway, I think the gist was that he was a cavalry officer who somehow disgraced the uniform, or was at least wrongly accused and convicted of doing so. In full ceremony, he was stripped of his symbols of rank etc and (the relevant point) his sabre was broken in half and handed back to him. I recall thinking at the time, "they break that easily?" lol Anyway, I'm not suggesting you break or otherwise damage the collar, merely that its symbolism is changed for all time, so why not ask if he/she wants it. It would at least demonstrate what it means to you now, as opposed to back when they always knew it was yours.... And if they decline, meh, I'd toss it. Focus.

LizDeluxe -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/22/2013 4:22:53 PM)
Reusing it as a play collar is every bit as tacky as reusing it in a M/s relationship, to me. Even more so, on second thought. Donating it for someone else to re-purpose = ditto. I am not one to keep such things. If it were left in my possession I like RS's idea. In the past I have left them in the possession of the submissive. They had a sentimental attachment to them.

littlewonder -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/22/2013 5:50:23 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: subinsilicon Responding only to the OP, I would suggest using it on a real dog and enjoying the fact that it was the collar you used on your prior sub. hahaha...I actually did just that with my last collar from the ex-Dom. At the time I had a dalmation and I had a metal collar. So when I took it off I thought..."hhhmm..you know, that would look really nice on her" [:D] It was either that or in the trash like I was originally going to do with it.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/22/2013 9:16:33 PM)
I'm in the camp for donation. Even if someone doesn't want to use it on a person, it might make a fine stage or shop prop.

KidnapPrincess -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/23/2013 8:13:05 PM)
I'd give it to the sub. If the relationship didn't end up poorly, then it's a reminder for them of the good times. Everyone deserves that. If the relationship did end up poorly, then they can keep the collar too, also as a reminder of what it used to mean, and how it's not the collar really that hold value, but the person holding the leash. I wouldn't want to buy, sell, or wear a used collar of someone's Ex.

LadyPact -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/24/2013 3:20:45 AM)
I enjoyed all of the replies. Here are a few comments on the comments...... I got a chuckle out of those who said get a dog and use it that way. I have to pass on that one. We're in Alaska for another year and adding a four footed pet to the house is something I am opposed to for several reasons. Burying it I could see if there was emotional value to it that surpassed monetary value. That's not the case, so it doesn't fit. Since it does have monetary value, and particularly because I just had the work done, I'm not tossing it. To Me, that's like taking cash out of My wallet and putting it directly in the trash. No, it most certainly won't be gifted to the person who was wearing it prior. I wouldn't do that anymore than send that person cash in the mail or give another person that I didn't want in My life a present. Not happening. It's probably going to be a case of potential use for play until I find the right situation for donating it for fund raising. There's really not a lot up here as far as leather and/or kink related fund raising drives or auctions that benefit charity. That's a lot more common in the lower 48, so I may have to look into some causes that I've donated things before and consider paying shipping. If anybody wants to chime in on suggestions for that, I'd love to hear them.

MadamAsianDom -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/24/2013 10:47:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I enjoyed all of the replies. Here are a few comments on the comments...... I got a chuckle out of those who said get a dog and use it that way. I have to pass on that one. We're in Alaska for another year and adding a four footed pet to the house is something I am opposed to for several reasons. Burying it I could see if there was emotional value to it that surpassed monetary value. That's not the case, so it doesn't fit. Since it does have monetary value, and particularly because I just had the work done, I'm not tossing it. To Me, that's like taking cash out of My wallet and putting it directly in the trash. No, it most certainly won't be gifted to the person who was wearing it prior. I wouldn't do that anymore than send that person cash in the mail or give another person that I didn't want in My life a present. Not happening. It's probably going to be a case of potential use for play until I find the right situation for donating it for fund raising. There's really not a lot up here as far as leather and/or kink related fund raising drives or auctions that benefit charity. That's a lot more common in the lower 48, so I may have to look into some causes that I've donated things before and consider paying shipping. If anybody wants to chime in on suggestions for that, I'd love to hear them. Re donating it, just a thought- there are several events back here in GA that take place annually that accept donations gladly. One of course being AIRS' own Fly By Night Auction, which I'm sure you're familiar with. Another is the Bikers for Babies fund raiser done by "Just Lizzy" in support of the March of Dimes. She has a fetlife group she runs that you could post a thread in, or you could just send her "fetmail". But I know she accepts donations for her auction. I've been to it and seen some of the things offered. It's quite varied. Ms. Martha donates corsets, some of the Atlanta pro dominants donate sessions, others donate various implements, etc. re is the group's (Biker's for Babes) link: https://fetlife.com/groups/41289 Didn't bother with AIRS info because I know you have access to thst info just as I do. :-) Although, as always, if you need my assistance, do let me know. If you decide to donate to AIRS, and I can assist with that, I would be more than happy to.

NuevaVida -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/24/2013 11:10:41 AM)
I don't particularly like the idea of resuing it for play, only because my own personal thought is that it would be a little disturbing to me to learn I was wearing - for play - the M/s collar of a former slave. Like littlewonder said, it would feel like wearing someone's former engagement ring, for play or fun. I'm not typically attached to items, either, so the Mister using a paddle on me that he used on his former doesn't bother me in the slightest. Or using a whip that the former dude used on me - the same (for that, I mostly grin, if anything, because this relationship is SO head over heels better than the last one). But a collar....I dunno...for me it's different. With the former dude's collar, I tried to sell it on Craigslist (it was a thick but light titanium 15" chain) but I was probably asking too much for it (he paid $350, I asked $150). So I threw it away, as I didn't want it around anymore (just as I had thrown my wedding ring away, too). I like the donate for charity idea. If there are no events to donate it to, perhaps you can try an eBay or Craigslist sale, and then either keep your profit or donate that money to a cause that interests you.

littlewonder -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/24/2013 5:21:04 PM)
Why not try to get your money back out of it by selling it? There's Ebay, Amazon, here, fetish re-sell sites, etc...

Focus50 -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/24/2013 9:57:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact I enjoyed all of the replies. Here are a few comments on the comments...... I got a chuckle out of those who said get a dog and use it that way. I have to pass on that one. We're in Alaska for another year and adding a four footed pet to the house is something I am opposed to for several reasons. Burying it I could see if there was emotional value to it that surpassed monetary value. That's not the case, so it doesn't fit. Since it does have monetary value, and particularly because I just had the work done, I'm not tossing it. To Me, that's like taking cash out of My wallet and putting it directly in the trash. No, it most certainly won't be gifted to the person who was wearing it prior. I wouldn't do that anymore than send that person cash in the mail or give another person that I didn't want in My life a present. Not happening. It's probably going to be a case of potential use for play until I find the right situation for donating it for fund raising. There's really not a lot up here as far as leather and/or kink related fund raising drives or auctions that benefit charity. That's a lot more common in the lower 48, so I may have to look into some causes that I've donated things before and consider paying shipping. If anybody wants to chime in on suggestions for that, I'd love to hear them. So you're more a capitalism over symbolism kinda gal? Focus.

LadyPact -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/25/2013 8:17:07 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 So you're more a capitalism over symbolism kinda gal? Focus. Generally, no. In this particular case, there's no emotional sentiment tied into the object any longer. I probably would have just tossed it if so much work hadn't just been completed on it. My friend really did do an excellent job at restoring it. The thing could pass for new.

Focus50 -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/25/2013 2:53:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact quote: ORIGINAL: Focus50 So you're more a capitalism over symbolism kinda gal? Focus. Generally, no. In this particular case, there's no emotional sentiment tied into the object any longer. I probably would have just tossed it if so much work hadn't just been completed on it. My friend really did do an excellent job at restoring it. The thing could pass for new. I was referring more to the analogy of "taking money from your wallet and throwing it in the trash". Anyway, there's all manner of possibilities, then: This friend who restored it - you paid for labour or just parts, if any? If the friend was compensated for the time invested, then you're not disrespecting their efforts if you ultimately dispose of it however you choose. IE, it was a mutually beneficial transaction. But yeah, I understand anyone who specialises in any form of craft usually carries quantities of leftover stock or materials they don't necessarily charge for, esp a friend. But if it was mostly restored as a favour to you, and you are inclined to donate it anyway, why not to that friend who did the work? Or, if it is "as new", sell it and split the proceeds etc. These sort of things are mostly an investment in the future. Kinda like the social blackmail of the dreaded engagement ring - where the man's "love" can be measured by the price tag. But as with any investment that's primarily emotional or sentimental, you're not guaranteed or, I should say, expectant of a capital return in the future. In a way, we are talking about "taking money from your wallet and throwing it in the trash" as soon as you commit to that path. Errrrm, don't s'pose we're talking about something that's encrusted with precious stones? Focus.

LadyPact -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/25/2013 6:45:55 PM)
Hi Focus. No, nothing with precious stones. LOL. Yes, it was fair trade when it comes to effort and materials in regard to compensation. Enough work and time that I wouldn't ask of it as a favor. I think that might really be the point. Even though I paid for the task that was done, it would be a royal shame for the effort to go to waste. One of the reasons that I handed the task over was because I knew the friend was better at working leather than I am and he put a lot into it.

peope -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/26/2013 1:58:09 AM)
Sell it. Using it for play may cause bad reactions.

LPslittleclip -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/26/2013 8:06:12 PM)
i would offer a donation for it any sugested ammount will be paid

littleclip -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/26/2013 9:16:49 PM)
sorry for last post signature my computer auto signed me in had to fix that

SoulAlloy -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/27/2013 12:47:06 AM)
If it's a particularly fancy collar I'd guess sell it, and give the proceeds to the charity you want to support Or if it's a case of you want to see it put to good use then wait for the donation option. Reusing it for play? Whilst there may not be a sentimental attachment, part of me wonders if there is an anger attached to it - just an impression I'm getting from reading, only you know yourself.

littleclip -> RE: Donate or keep for play (4/27/2013 9:49:40 AM)
as it cost money to get done and it would be wrong to just give that away why not have the coll be sold back to previous wearer and all costs be part of the auction and proceeds go to local charity ill start the bidding at $100

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