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cynthiamarie -> RE: Played - to unconcievable depths (6/24/2006 6:00:54 PM)
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I don't think everyone in crisis should temporarily give up custody of their kid. There's a huge difference between parents who destroy their children and others who have bad times to get through. Anyone who has ever had children will tell you...nobody's a perfect parent 24/7. I've been the single parent of an autistic kid, and I also have PTSD and I homeschool him; far from being the typical American family.
RG...don't worry about providing "stuff" for your daughter...my sister and I had a choice. Stay with our stuff, or go with our mother with only the clothing on our backs and we chose our mother. We had no furniture at first, no toys, all of our clothing came from second hand stores, but we had the most important thing...our mother. Through all the hard times, I would have made that same choice again and again.
She wasn't perfect, she'd lose it occasionally and then cry later...but you know what? I loved her. She fought to keep us, wouldn't give us away to someone else to raise, and kept on going even when she wanted to die. By watching her struggles, I learned how to hold on tight when times got rough and hopeless. If she had ever been to a shrink in her entire life, I'd lay bets she'd be diagnosed as bipolar, as it runs in our family tree.
mbmbn:
quote:
I am saying, a bipolar person in a manic rage is unpredictable, and if there is a little one in the picture, the little one suffers.
There's a huge difference between cutting one's hair off as a symbol of their grief, and stabbing someone in front of their kid. In RG, I see appropriate grief and necessary purging...both will take a long time...but I see no signs of RG being in a "manic rage."
When I was first diagnosed with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma years ago, I cut butt length hair short to my ears, to help with my grieving. It actually helped somehow, to express myself in this way. It would have been grossly inappropriate for anyone to say my kid should be taken from me while I pulled my life together.
Many of us are diagnosed with manic depression because we are living in a bad situation we can't get out of...and/or we drink too much coffee.
Her meds don't seem to be the magic pills they're cracked up to be...
For some, shrinks aren't the magical cure all either. I went to them for over 20 years, for child molestation, paternal physical and emotional abuse, rapes, PTDS, panic attacks, and dissociation. The whole survivors' package deal. It's been my own experience that they take the place of friends who are strong enough to hear anything, yet not make my problems into their own problems. If you can find a shrink who is really a good healer, good...but for me, more healing took place within my own self through my own healing process.
Peer counselors who really understand what you're going through because they've been there themselves are wonderful. I'll put a site in RG's mailbox with a list of kink friendly crisis lines. I don't know if posting the listing in here is allowed or not.
It's okay to grieve.
It's okay to turn to friends...online or in person...to rant and rage and cry and scream and admit to being in pain. Even in a forum. Anyone who doesn't want to witness another's pain can go wander off to an easier thread, right?
For many people, before healing can begin, the pain must be acknowledged and wallowed in and everything thought to death from every possible angle. If she has friends here, she has every right to expect their support.
Over 2 years ago, I fell into a deep depression for two weeks after a surgery, and friends at another forum not only hugged me and helped me through it (as I had done for them many times), but also wrote to an actor, Alan Rickman, on my behalf...he sent me two autographed pix. Family and shrinks couldn't help, but my friends did...they also made me see new perspectives. Because of their kicking my butt a little, I ended up here at CollarMe eventually; willing to date instead of protecting men from the pain of getting attached to me. These online only friends told me I had no right to make unilateral decisions like that.
I detest it when people make comments about online friendships being "less real".
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