erieangel
Posts: 2237
Joined: 6/19/2011
Status: offline
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I think her husband is an asshole?
I've never really gotten to know the guy well before they got married, my daughter and I had been somewhat estranged for a few years until right before her wedding. (That is a long story)
Anyway, Friday evening I went out my daughter's to spend the weekend and play with the grand baby. Since I was there, she and my son-in-law decided to go to friend's mudding party Saturday. They ended up fighting and coming home 2 1/2 hours after they left. But my son-in-law did nothing more than drop off my daughter and her father and then he took off again after tossing a case of beer into the driveway (breaking every glass bottle in the process) and tearing the car seat out of the car. My ex told me that the fight because our SIL wanted to use the SUV they owe 10 grand on to go mudding because all of a sudden riding in somebody else's truck wasn't good enough. He had a truck that he used for mudding in the past until the frame broke. Instead of welding it back together, he junked it and decided he'd get another, but they haven't had the money.
My daughter was in consolable last night. She told me that her husband has never stayed out all night. She also said that he got mad because when she told him about using the SUV, he wouldn't shut up about doing it and she finally hit him and said that she's a mean drunk. Well, hell, I would have hit somebody too if they didn't see common sense enough not to use the only vehicle we had to get to and from work, shop, take our daughter to doctor appointments, not to mention pick up his other daughter from his previous marriage at her grandparents' for visitation, on a sport that could cripple the vehicle.
About an hour after leaving last night, he told my daughter in a text message that he's leaving her. That he would be come home this morning to get his things and the his caddy (which isn't running, isn't inspected and doesn't have insurance). He did come home this morning, after sleeping, we guess, in the car...acting like nothing had ever happened. He took a shower and then wanted my daughter to go with him to pick up his older kid for his scheduled visitation.
My ex and I spent a lot of time last night whispering together. He spends much more time with our daughter than I do, he babysits 3 days a week, so he knows a lot of what goes on. He told me that they are always fighting--and have been a lot in the past month. In the past month they've had a lot of financial problems. It is to the point where my daughter has come to me for money and they owe me close to $400. And in the meantime, my SIL was talking about a new gun he wants. And to top it off, they made a $500 mistake on their federal taxes in 2011.
My ex told me the marriage is headed for divorce. He also said that if our SIL leaves, it will be the perfect excuse for him to leave his live-in-girlfriend (whom he's been looking to leave anyway) and he'd move in with our daughter to help her out. But he's not sure his income and her income would still be enough to make all of the bills they have. My daughter's rent is kind of high, which pisses me off because where they live isn't worth what they pay, especially when their water from a pond, is not drinkable, and actually even stinks to high heaven. I can't even stand to rinse a dish before washing them with water that I lug over there when I go and my daughter bathes in the crap!!! My ex made me a cup of coffee with tap water, saying its OK once its boiled, but it smells so bad, I couldn't drink it. But with the house, they also rent 3 acres of grass that they have to care for. My SIL wanted a lot of land.
Anyway, I came to the conclusion this weekend that my SIL is an asshole. This is something that has been building. He's lied to her to about important stuff and little stuff--like telling her he put his caddy up for sale and turning around and telling my son that he didn't and won't. He doesn't do any housework or cooking. They both work full time and I've been there when they get home from work (they happen to work at the same place). He takes a shower while she fixes dinner and does some housework. After dinner, he usually goes out with his buddies. Sometimes, on Monday, on his bowling night, she'll go with him, because my ex will stay to babysit, but most nights, she's left home. When she does get to out, its doing things with him and his friends, not hers. In fact, I think she has only 1 friend left anymore, her former stepsister--her father's 2nd wife's daughter.
My daughter even made a comment that if she got a divorce she'd stay in every night and be a stay-at-mom when she isn't working. That isn't right.
I'm just not sure I should tell my daughter what I think of the guy and how I think he's cut her off from her friends and her family--they never come into the city see me, I always have to go to them. Even when they borrow money from me, it is either me or my son taking the money them, they can't even come to the city to get it.
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Should I tell my daughter... - 
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