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New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 4:09:23 PM

dichut

Posts: 1
Joined: 6/3/2006
Status: offline

You'd think that that with all the squillions of people in the world to find just one domme willing to train a genuine [married] male sub would be a cinch - apparently not. Even to be able to find genuine dommes or subs to chat with is a bridge too far I'm 54, and live in a remote place at the moment but eventually will live in the brisbane, q/land area - if you want a genuine person message me

Post #: 1

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 4:13:49 PM

AAkasha

Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dichut

You'd think that that with all the squillions of people in the world to find just one domme willing to train a genuine [married] male sub would be a cinch - apparently not. Even to be able to find genuine dommes or subs to chat with is a bridge too far I'm 54, and live in a remote place at the moment but eventually will live in the brisbane, q/land area - if you want a genuine person message me

What makes you think it would be a cinch? What woman wants to play with a married man? What is in it for her? With the hundreds of single, emotionally available men available, why are you deserving to be at the top of the list? What qualities make you extraordinary?

Akasha

_____________________________

Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]

(in reply to dichut)

Post #: 2

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 4:17:01 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

You should have done a search for people in your area or at least the area you are going and mailed them.

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to dichut)

Post #: 3

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 4:36:11 PM

LadyNoel

Posts: 17
Joined: 6/2/2006
Status: offline

Hmmmm... just a thought, but I personally don't go in for cheating... so I don't deal with married subs unless I am dealing with the couple (something I have experienced and greatly enjoyed). I have noted many who feel as I do on the topic, so unless your spouse is in the lifestyle too...

Just my personal feelings.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)

Post #: 4

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 4:39:18 PM

jamesthehumanrug

Posts: 668
Joined: 10/21/2005
Status: offline

dear d
you have to be of service
to get in the door
if you sent an ap. to a top misstress ;what do you do;
are you experienced at service ;diciplined ;have you served before ;and the like; what can you do to be known or helpful ;do you do computer work; are you an accountant ;can you do taxs;talk real-estate;drive;are you charming at dinner ,or do you talk sex ,over food;even in vanilla land ;you have to have some basis to enter an exchange,and, if you have sex and ,the relationship doesnt remain static ;it will grow and progress ,onto intimate activities ,to a limit,or whatever capacity levels you both are capable of serving,to each other .
you can't, just say :you man; me woman ;or you top; me bottom; unless you're on an island,as far ,as i'm concerned ;everyone has the potential ,to be top;but, i'd ,rather have an experienced, in the lifestyle person, sometimes, or usually....
this collar me forum is'nt a bad way to introduce yourself ,as available;your enduring relationship now may answer you .

< Message edited by jamesthehumanrug -- 6/24/2006 4:47:40 PM >

_____________________________

I REMAIN RESPECTFULLY SUBMITTED
,LOVEles,
jamesthehumanrug

(in reply to dichut)

Post #: 5

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 6:02:42 PM

Proprietrix

Posts: 756
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Ohio/West Virginia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dichut

You'd think that that with all the squillions of people in the world to find just one domme willing to train a genuine [married] male sub would be a cinch - apparently not. Even to be able to find genuine dommes or subs to chat with is a bridge too far I'm 54, and live in a remote place at the moment but eventually will live in the brisbane, q/land area - if you want a genuine person message me

Ermm.... married men are on my list of hard limits.
Nice that you threw it in there as just a bracketted side note.
*rolls eyes*

_____________________________

IMO, IMHO, YMMV, AFAIK, to me, I see it as, from my perspective, it's been my experience, I only speak for myself, (and all other disclaimers here).

(in reply to dichut)

Post #: 6

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 6:06:49 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dichut

You'd think that that with all the squillions of people in the world to find just one domme willing to train a genuine [married] male sub would be a cinch - apparently not. Even to be able to find genuine dommes or subs to chat with is a bridge too far I'm 54, and live in a remote place at the moment but eventually will live in the brisbane, q/land area - if you want a genuine person message me

Just a thought or two from a sub brother...I think the earlier posts regarding your marital status are an indication of how (generally) you might be viewed by many prospective Dommes.  I'm single and I'm still out there pounding the pavement trying to find my One so I can only imagine with you being married that the situation would be much more difficult, genuine or not.

I also noticed this is your first post (congratulations) and that you just joined CM on 6-3. BELIEVE ME, it ain't easy brother, not for any of us. I've been at this a little longer than you and some have been at this thing for YEARS and are still seeking.  You might find One for you, and I wish you the best in that, but the only way it will be a "cinch" as you mentioned, will be if you utilize the services of a Pro Domme. That might be something for you to consider. A lot less mess for someone in your circumstance if you can find a Pro who plays with married men.

Anyway, just trying to give you the 411 on what we're ALL experiencing. A lot of us come into this thing thinking the same way only to quickly realize how foolish we were. Takes a lot more work than just saying "Hello, here I am".

Best of Luck to you!

(in reply to dichut)

Post #: 7

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 7:50:10 PM

stockingluvr54

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

I agree with Joyinslavery...been lookin for 6 mos. now and can't even hardly get a "thanks but no thanks" to an email unless it's from a pro. I did see a pro once and all that did was get me HOOKED!!!! Lmao!

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 8

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 7:53:04 PM

TexasMaam

Posts: 1467
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Now THAT's a funny post!
*chuckling*

Well, take heart, folks. I've met a few nice men here at CM, and I know I'm bound to meet just the right sub.

Ya gotta hang in there. 6 lil ole months ain't nuthin! It takes patience and persistence.

Keep trying.

TexasMaam

_____________________________

~ My opinions are not necessarily those of the management... ~

(in reply to stockingluvr54)

Post #: 9

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 8:28:45 PM

MistressLorelei

Posts: 997
Joined: 11/7/2005
Status: offline

I have noticed that most married men who are seeking a Dominant Female, are actually seeking a little kinky fun on the side, and most keep it a secret from their wives because 'she wouldn't/doesn't understand these desires'. I want a relationship with a male who can have a relationship, not with a male who wants to discreetly be tied up, so his vanilla spouse won't discover his dirty little secret. I would not consider taking on a married submissive so he can have his cake, and be beaten with it too.

If you are honest with your wife about your desire to be trained by a Female Dominant, you will likely have more success in finding what you seek (with patience). Otherwise, perhaps a Pro Domme can provide you the "relationship" you seek.

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 10

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 8:31:10 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

Amen!

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressLorelei

I have noticed that most married men who are seeking a Dominant Female, are actually seeking a little kinky fun on the side, and most keep it a secret from their wives because 'she wouldn't/doesn't understand these desires'. I want a relationship with a male who can have a relationship, not with a male who wants to discreetly be tied up, so his vanilla spouse won't discover his dirty little secret.

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to MistressLorelei)

Post #: 11

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 8:35:30 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear dichut, Ladies and Gentlemen;

Being a genuine dominant, I do find that married men are very difficult to deal with, especially when the wife has no clue as to what is taking place. If the wife sat on the side lines while a dominant female was to put you though the paces, I think it would sit much better with both women. I also will add, that male dominants that work with female submissives that are married, often have the same stand-off attitude, unless the husband is there participating also, even if it is watching. It really puts everybody at ease as everybody is involved in communications, negotiations and no secrets.

I would also place before you for consideration, that women really want something for their investment. Emotionally bonding of a dominant with a submissive, by its nature of D/s and or M/s; BDSM and or S&M, by going home to the Mrs. Dichut, does not feed the dominant but you are fed. So, as you may see--being a "service Top" and or Dominant in a one sided relationship (yours) is not a worthy investment especially when there are single men who don't have a Mrs.

I highly recommend seeking a local BDSM support and education group and get educated before you jump into D/s, M/s and or BDSM as well as S&M. The better you are educated and have knowledge, you invest in your own safety. Because there is a terrible ratio of male submissives to female dominants, you get plenty of Shelias that haven't a clue but, look great in fetish gear.

Some things to consider are, what type of training are you interested in. What experiences do you have from past experiences that might be attractive. Things like that to start you in the right direction per se.

Respectfully submitted for consideration,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to dichut)

Post #: 12

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 8:35:53 PM

slavejlb

Posts: 446
Joined: 5/19/2006
Status: offline

it is not just sub males it is dom/masters as well,
take care and be safe
slave jlb

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 13

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 8:44:56 PM

LadyHugs

Posts: 2299
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Dear joyinslavery,

Thank you for posting. As a male submissive/slave, it carries a lot of weight because of your role and your personal quest.

The best 'network' is the slave's/submissive's networking between each other. Men who are in the experiences of submission can speak from experiences and in the 'male lingo' per se.

So many times people hear what they want to hear, rather than hearing what they need to hear. One thing all need to hear is, that as large as the community appears to be, it is rather small and the pool is only so big, so it indeed requires patience. So, while one waits, it is a good opportunity to study, learn, test the waters per se and get the knowledge you can obtain, as to make a better informed choice down the road.

Again -- I do thank you and all the male slaves/submissives speaking up more when it comes to another male submissive's posts.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

(in reply to joyinslavery)

Post #: 14

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 10:00:18 PM

joyinslavery

Posts: 955
Joined: 6/21/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHugs

Dear joyinslavery,

Thank you for posting. As a male submissive/slave, it carries a lot of weight because of your role and your personal quest.

The best 'network' is the slave's/submissive's networking between each other. Men who are in the experiences of submission can speak from experiences and in the 'male lingo' per se.

So many times people hear what they want to hear, rather than hearing what they need to hear. One thing all need to hear is, that as large as the community appears to be, it is rather small and the pool is only so big, so it indeed requires patience. So, while one waits, it is a good opportunity to study, learn, test the waters per se and get the knowledge you can obtain, as to make a better informed choice down the road.

Again -- I do thank you and all the male slaves/submissives speaking up more when it comes to another male submissive's posts.

Respectfully submitted,
Lady Hugs

Thanks LadyHugs for Your kind words and the prospective You bring! I have noticed Your posts are always respectful to all and I enjoy them immensely. You're a credit to CM and the boards here. Thank You for Your insight!

(in reply to LadyHugs)

Post #: 15

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 10:03:45 PM

stockingluvr54

Posts: 673
Joined: 6/22/2006
Status: offline

<< Ya gotta hang in there. 6 lil ole months ain't nuthin! >>

It is when you're 52!!!!!!!!! Seriously....it's killin me that it took sooooo long to figure out what I THINK I need and want? Always knew "something" was missing in my past relationships? Normal will never happen again....It would just be a waste of both or our time.....

(in reply to TexasMaam)

Post #: 16

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 10:21:17 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: dichut

You'd think that that with all the squillions of people in the world to find just one domme willing to train a genuine [married] male sub would be a cinch - apparently not. Even to be able to find genuine dommes or subs to chat with is a bridge too far I'm 54, and live in a remote place at the moment but eventually will live in the brisbane, q/land area - if you want a genuine person message me

G'day dichut,

Ok so House Iron Bear is a Gorean Home and we deal with slaves and not subs other than on a friendly basis. Keeping this in mind and that we live half way between Brissy and the GC in Beenleigh amid the growing sugar cane.. Please feel welcome to talk with either myself or Neets, my Wife and Free Companion. (Lady_Neets). You don't have to totally alone... As long as your wife knows and is ok with things we may be able to hook you up when you move to Brissy....

< Message edited by IronBear -- 6/24/2006 10:22:48 PM >

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to dichut)

Post #: 17

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 10:44:23 PM

MissDiandSirHugh

Posts: 1158
Joined: 8/11/2005
From: Goondiwindi ( Qld )
Status: offline

We live just a littel further than IronBear and Lady_Neets (we send our respects to you both) well only a little further as the crow flys but also have contacts in Brisbane and sent you a message telling you about it.

_____________________________

HoRoo for now from Us both and enjoy all you read even if you don"t agree with us or others.
Knowledge is no Burden to Carry

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 18

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/24/2006 11:53:23 PM

LadyNeets

Posts: 188
Joined: 11/8/2005
Status: offline

Lady Neets here.

IB is right if you need any More info just leave IB or Myself a message and We'll get back to you.

LadyNeets

_____________________________

I am not a bitch I am the Bitch and to you I am Mistress Bitch

(in reply to MissDiandSirHugh)

Post #: 19

RE: New and apparently destined to staythat way - 6/25/2006 12:44:05 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Gees us Queenslanders are such a friendly crowd aren't we.....

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to LadyNeets)

Post #: 20

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