Those swearing at people who cut off contact (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive



Message

alildifferent -> Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 12:27:25 PM)

I haven't yet been the victim of a swearing campaign due to cutting off someone I don't feel safe with but I'm curious what other submissives think about this.

Do you feel as the people who rant and rave often swearing profusely that people who cut off contact aren't truly submissive or slave oriented?

Or do you feel that these people aren't true dominants. They confuse being hot headed,desperate, and wanting their way with true domination. Dominants can't be expected to control people if they can't control even themselves?

Or how about a cross between the two?

I'll start the ball rolling with an opinion. Remember opinions are like assholes. Everyone has one. So even though it's what I think I don't think it's holy writ.

I believe that swearing and abuse does have uses in domination. But I believe it belongs between formal partners. Not prospective partners. When a slave or submissive takes a collar or adopts a roll of submissive or slave I believe their self esteem is a potential target. People with lower self esteem are easier to control or influence. Do I think it's necessary? Not really. I think you can control slaves with other options. Sexual orgasm addiction for instance. Hypnosis for those who influence easily. Light pain that doesn't do to much damage but hurts like blazes. Personally I don't find a preference for any of those methods or others I might not have thought about. But I do know when a person swears at and tries to blacklist someone they never even met who is obviously threatened by them, they come off as desperate to me and not in control.



MsEloquence -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 2:34:45 PM)

It's unmannerly and inappropriate behavior for an adult.



kiwisub12 -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 2:38:27 PM)

I think its funny to watch adults loose control so much... and over so little.



tj444 -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 2:41:37 PM)

Let them.. it shows their true colors.. and that you had good instincts to end contact and then block them..



littleone35 -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 2:44:51 PM)

I think people should learn to control thenselves, before they try to control another.

Matt's littleone



Rasciallymisty -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 3:52:48 PM)

My thought is, if they start swearing...just walk away. Though I have to agree kiwi sometimes it is funny to watch.

kar



AngelSub2Kneel -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 6:11:59 PM)

I see that often as well......i more or less take as they were not as they serious, or as real as they projected themselves and cant take rejection like a human being. No matter how you say it to them it always comes off to them as you are not being submissive enough for them or you are fake no matter your status. It is just there opinion, i usually dont even dignify them with a response and just block them...

THEN you have the ones that will make ANOTHER profile just to harass you.......those call for a bit of unsubbish behavior so to speak LOL.



littlewonder -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 6:15:10 PM)

You mean those online who get angry and write nasty emails when you decide to cut contact because you realize they are not compatible with you? And the men in real life who get angry and start cursing when you turn them down?

There's nothing dominant about that. They're just angry, jaded men.



LafayetteLady -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 7:29:25 PM)

Angel,

Please don't take offense at this, but do people often tell you that you look to be about 12 years old? Talk about a baby face! Again no offense and back to our regularly scheduled thread....



Level -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 8:08:13 PM)

She favors a young Drew Barrymore.

Fuck shit fuck shit. There, the thread is really back on track.



littleclip -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 8:21:13 PM)

if i ever felt unsafe around someone then yes i would cut them off and all the swearing would just make me more convinced, unless it was a arranged online humiliation scene that is



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 10:56:39 PM)

Generally I consider swearing and shouting a desperate last-ditch attempt to gain control of a situation in which they are not dominant, regardless of how they identify. Just like the people who yell at customer service people or at other drivers, or when parents lose their temper with a naughty child - they're essentially in a situation in which they don't have the power, and it frustrates them, and the abuse is a clumsy attempt to get people to comply with them.

I've always thought of 'dominant' and 'submissive' in the way we use them to be an orientation, so I think a person can be A dominant or A submissive and behave badly. They just wouldn't be the type of dominant or submissive I would want to get involved in. In normal human interactions there will be situations we can't control, and situations we have to step up and control, and a person who can't cope with life's ups and downs without tantrums needs to do some soul-searching about whether a relationship is for them just now. They might be the slaviest of slaves but need to do some work on dealing with their emotions.

As for swearing at someone you're in a relationship - it's all down to context. I wouldn't be impressed if my husband swore at me because he had a bad day or we argued about something - that's poor self control. In the context of kinky-fun-time, it's all good.



myotherself -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 11:04:06 PM)

Several years ago I had a couple of dates with a guy who was potentially going to be my dominant. All was fine until after the second date, when he decided we knew each other well enough to ignore my previously discussed hard limits and 'get it on', for want of a better word.

Yeah, right.

His response to my refusal was a text message containing pretty much every four-letter word I know - and a few more!

I told him to shove it, and he seriously had no idea why. I explained that he'd got 'Dom' and 'dumb' mixed up. He still didn't understand it. At that point I realised he really was too stupid to discuss anything with, so I walked away.

So yeah, some people (Dom and sub) confuse confidence with twattery. It's more common that it ought to be, sadly.



DaddySatyr -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 11:36:36 PM)

I was dating a young lady, some time ago, who worked an erratic schedule. She also told me that she became involved in helping one of her clients in a much more involved way.

All of that was to say that she had very little time for me. We went from seeing each other twice a week to me, calling her, we'd talk for ten minutes. She'd say: "I'll call you tomorrow" Or "I'll call you later on, tonight". Unfortunately, that became me, waiting a week and calling her. ... and repeat.

Finally, I just stopped calling her back.

A month later, she called me and everything would have been fine but she started with: "Michael, if you're upset with me, the least you could do is tell me why"

Now, I don't raise my voice, when I get angry. In fact, I lower it and I speak very slowly and deliberately in order to make sure that I get my point across and don't say anything that I don't mean to say but, I can tell you that I'm almost positive I taught her a couple of new cuss words in my answer. I know, for a fact, That I started off with: "Have you taken leave of your mother fucking senses?"

Loss of control? Hardly. I was flabbergasted that she had the nerve to start the conversation out as she did. It was a clear case of projection but, I will own up to using several "colorful metaphors".

While I believe that at times, cursing is the sign of a confused mind, trying to express itself, I don't think that it automatically signals a loss of control.



Peace and comfort,



Michael



LadyPact -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/8/2013 11:50:49 PM)

Fast reply.....

Are we serious here? I drop the f-bomb from time to time and I'm not a twoo Dominant.

Pahlease!!!!



AthenaSurrenders -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/9/2013 3:34:33 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Fast reply.....

Are we serious here? I drop the f-bomb from time to time and I'm not a twoo Dominant.

Pahlease!!!!



That's not how I read the OP. I think the OP was saying those people who respond to rejection with a string of abuse are less dominant, not anyone who uses bad language ever.

I've never attempted to get it on with you LadyPact, nor had you try to get it on with me, but you don't strike me as the type of person who would send someone an email full of vicious insults for turning you down, or attempt to blacklist someone.



Duskypearls -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/9/2013 6:00:51 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

Several years ago I had a couple of dates with a guy who was potentially going to be my dominant. All was fine until after the second date, when he decided we knew each other well enough to ignore my previously discussed hard limits and 'get it on', for want of a better word.

Yeah, right.

His response to my refusal was a text message containing pretty much every four-letter word I know - and a few more!

I told him to shove it, and he seriously had no idea why. I explained that he'd got 'Dom' and 'dumb' mixed up. He still didn't understand it. At that point I realised he really was too stupid to discuss anything with, so I walked away.

So yeah, some people (Dom and sub) confuse confidence with twattery. It's more common that it ought to be, sadly.


Have we a possible Sunny Quote of the Day?!



LadyPact -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/9/2013 6:10:50 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AthenaSurrenders
That's not how I read the OP. I think the OP was saying those people who respond to rejection with a string of abuse are less dominant, not anyone who uses bad language ever.

I've never attempted to get it on with you LadyPact, nor had you try to get it on with me, but you don't strike me as the type of person who would send someone an email full of vicious insults for turning you down, or attempt to blacklist someone.
Well, you've got Me there. No, I can't say that I'm that type.

It does occur to Me, though, that when people start that 'such and such isn't Domly' that it's no better or worse than those who say "if you were really submissive........"

I'm not big on the double standard stuff.




AngelSub2Kneel -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/9/2013 7:20:11 AM)

LOL dont worry I dont take offense to it! I hear it all the time everywhere I go...Thank you.
quote:

ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady

Angel,

Please don't take offense at this, but do people often tell you that you look to be about 12 years old? Talk about a baby face! Again no offense and back to our regularly scheduled thread....




DarkSteven -> RE: Those swearing at people who cut off contact (5/9/2013 7:35:12 AM)

I've often wondered about people who get rejected, taking it angrily. FFS, I have been rejected dozens of times. I've gotten used to it. It's part of the process - you have to get through Nos before you get the Yes.



Page: [1] 2   next >   >>

Valid CSS!




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy
0.046875