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njlauren -> RE: ProDom hunting and being safe (5/9/2013 8:10:19 PM)
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I played professionally long before I ever got into it lifestyle. I tended to play at pro houses, rather than independent dominas, which makes it a bit different, in that it is an established business and they tend to handle things very professionally. With independent dommes, I generally found them by referral from people I knew that were clients, there also are some websites that people use to review dommes, which aren't perfect but they do give an idea. If someone has been in the profession for a while, that is a good sign, someone who just 'pops up' probably needs more vetting. When I visited independents the first thing I noted was if they asked questions of me, asked about limits, asked about experience, and most importantly, insisted I come up with a safeword (pro that doesn't is suspect as hell IMO, if you don't know them, and even if you do, still think it is important unless you know them really well and have played with them. They should also ask about health issues, like back or knee problems or other things that might have an impact. Usually, the good ones also talked about what they would or wouldn't do and what they expected from the client, too. The good ones asked really probing questions, and then built the scene based on that, rather than a laundry list "I want this, I want that":).
In terms of safety, I cannot think of a session I had all those years where I felt it was an issue, and I did some pretty heavy scenes. I did have some go beyond stated limits, not safety, but for example, not leaving lasting marks or other obvious things, but that does happen, it can happen accidentally. One of the reasons is I tended to play with those who had been around a while in NYC, or had moved from elsewhere where there was a track record. At one point there were a rash of young gals hanging out a shingle as dommes who did fit the hooker with a whip kind of thing, but they didn't last long, and the ones who did it after they got hyped up after Madonna's "Sex" nonsense, and wanted to try it, generally didn't last long, either:).
It is like any service, if you know others who have used the person, that means a lot, and these days with the internet it may be a lot easier to find out if scam artists are around. I think the most dubious path is Craig's list, if a domina pays for an add in DDI or similar things, it says a lot about her business, posting an ad on Craigslist is free, and doesn't say anything and is more likely to be a scam or someone who doesn't know what they are doing.
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