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RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 11:43:15 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

Really? By asking you to relate your own experiences, I'm demanding that you do my job for me? I literally asked what do you like to do, what do you like @ subs, and do you have any advice because I'm new to this and I don't know if I'm doing it properly or if I'm totally barking up the wrong tree here. I guess I just assumed that you would be willing to give me advice since both of the other communities I've been to so far were very obliging in answering my questions about how things work, so I guess I took it for granted that Dommes were willing to share their experiences without being paid for it (at least on here). Then again, I pretty much got told by everyone else not to bother coming here, but my experience with other Dommes has been so positive so far that I guess I just assumed they were like that everywhere.

You want to use our personal experiences to make money.

And the time to learn to do things properly would be BEFORE you start charging for your services.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 5/9/2013 11:52:54 AM >

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Post #: 21

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 11:53:18 AM

zpenguin

Posts: 123
Joined: 1/14/2013
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Shes just new, i dont agree with Findommes, I am a Dom, should I get paid every time my sub and play?? No, because I do it for pleasure as well as hers. Just seems sleezy to me honestly. But I did message her with some ideas on humiliation. One one hand I feel for her because everyone was new at one point in time, on the other Findomme just kinda erks me.

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Post #: 22

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 12:01:05 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: zpenguin

Shes just new, i dont agree with Findommes, I am a Dom, should I get paid every time my sub and play?? No, because I do it for pleasure as well as hers. Just seems sleezy to me honestly. But I did message her with some ideas on humiliation. One one hand I feel for her because everyone was new at one point in time, on the other Findomme just kinda erks me.

By charging for her sessions, she's implying that she's a professional. But, she hasn't done the work before starting up her business. That's what irks me.

Let's put it this way: It's the equivalent of being hired as a mechanic when all you know how to do is oil changes.....then expecting everyone else in the garage to show you how to do the engine job, instead of going to gain knowledge (like everyone else has done). Would you be comfortable allowing that mechanic to do work on your car?

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Post #: 23

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 12:07:15 PM

zpenguin

Posts: 123
Joined: 1/14/2013
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Im not disagreeing ya, you are right on that

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Post #: 24

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 12:14:27 PM

FunCouple5280

Posts: 559
Joined: 10/30/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: zpenguin

Shes just new, i dont agree with Findommes, I am a Dom, should I get paid every time my sub and play?? No, because I do it for pleasure as well as hers. Just seems sleezy to me honestly. But I did message her with some ideas on humiliation. One one hand I feel for her because everyone was new at one point in time, on the other Findomme just kinda erks me.

By charging for her sessions, she's implying that she's a professional. But, she hasn't done the work before starting up her business. That's what irks me.

Let's put it this way: It's the equivalent of being hired as a mechanic when all you know how to do is oil changes.....then expecting everyone else in the garage to show you how to do the engine job, instead of going to gain knowledge (like everyone else has done). Would you be comfortable allowing that mechanic to do work on your car?

Yes and no.... Today we always assume you go to school to learn everything. Somethings are best learned on the job... If, I the owner of the garage, need a new mechanic and want to train one, I will hire that guy and start him by learning from the others. Would I let him work on a car by himself, no. Supervised, sure.

It is how doctors are trained, they are called residents.

However, she should probably start out for free. Cut her teeth. Just like a new restaurant opening up has a free day to train the staff, she should probably do the same. Maybe find a Domme supervisor...

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 25

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 1:42:05 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen
I'm not asking you to do my work for me

Try not to be defensive for a moment, and then think about it. Can you see how you ARE kind of asking us to do your work for you? I thought you would.

quote:

I'm asking you what some of your favorite ideas are because I want to make sure that I'm doing it correctly.

You probably shouldn't be calling yourself a financial Domme if you don't know how to do it correctly. What you're doing is somewhat unethical. Why not just be a regular Domme for a while. Join the local community, then watch & learn. Once you get an understanding of what people like to do, and how to do it safely, then you might think about charging. But right now, it seems like you're putting the cart before the horse.

There are a lot of people who HATE financial Dommes, and you are unwittingly the poster girl for everything that they complain about. You may want to read this thread. Financial domination thread

After reading that thread, you'll understand why you are getting the response that you are. You may want to rethink calling yourself a financial Domme or charging people. You're going to make a lot of enemies that way.

Also, getting back to your question about how to humiliate, did you read my point about how humiliation is personal? That's also why it's hard to answer your question. Every sub is different. So we can't really answer the question. Do you understand that? It's an important point.

Finally, here are a few humiliation threads from the past. Read through them, and I think you'll find what you're looking for.

Humiliation ideas

Humiliation on a shopping trip

Advice from ladies

Punishment ideas

More humilation ideas

Public humilation ideas

That should get you started. The search button is on the upper right-hand corner of the page. Type in "humiliation ideas", and pages of threads will come up.

Good luck to you.
-Roch

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 5/9/2013 1:44:00 PM >

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(in reply to Hollyucinogen)

Post #: 26

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 2:01:59 PM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

I HAVE been searching. I've just spend five days scouring the Internet for ideas, and I've only found one page so far that actually lists ideas. I'm not asking you to do my work for me, I'm asking you what some of your favorite ideas are - Dommes AND subs - because I want to make sure that I'm doing it correctly, and not boring the subs to death because they're used to having someone else's good ideas. Slightly rude and unnecessary response to a completely innocent question, though, thanks. Totally helped, I'm so glad I decided to trust that another Domme would want to give advice to someone who just got into the scene.

quote:

It's no one specific, just in general. I'm worried that, since I'm new, my ideas are going to come across as boring and green, and that a sub isn't going to like it. I don't have a sub yet, though.

Look, I'll be honest...you being a findomme doesn't bother me. Findommes in general don't bother me. To each their own and your kink is just as valid as my kink is. Who am I to judge? Everyone, findommes and finsubs too, deserve to be able to be who they are.

What I do have an issue with is that you are wanting me to give you my ideas so you can turn around and charge someone else while passing off what I've given you as yours because I highly doubt you are going to give me credit or a percentage of your take. I've put years into learning what I do and how to do it properly. You are admittedly new to this. Your ideas are going to be green, new, and you are going to fumble. It's the nature of the beast. We all started somewhere. Are you honest with the potential subs you speak to about your newness?

Call it what you want, but the reality is that you are wanting others to do your work for you so you can turn around and profit from it. You don't have to like what I or anyone else says. You can call it rude and unnecessary. But Im not going to blow smoke up your ass and cover the world in rainbows for you. I'm going to be straight up with you because Im doing you no favors by pandering to you. That won't help you grow and develop.

I'm going to echo what others say. Put in some time with dominance before you begin charging for it. Call it an internship...an apprenticeship. I can't go out to start practicing surgery without graduating from medical school. This is a lot like that in a way. You learn from more skilled folks (hell, I've been doing this for about 15 years and I still take time to learn from others) and figure out what YOUR way is. You can't get that from Internet searches and forum questions in all honesty.

< Message edited by SeekingTrinity -- 5/9/2013 2:03:23 PM >

(in reply to Hollyucinogen)

Post #: 27

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 2:11:48 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: FunCouple5280

Yes and no.... Today we always assume you go to school to learn everything. Somethings are best learned on the job... If, I the owner of the garage, need a new mechanic and want to train one, I will hire that guy and start him by learning from the others. Would I let him work on a car by himself, no. Supervised, sure.

We run an auto repair shop and that situation wouldn't fly. Schooling is required for certification (certification is not required but it changes your clientele), it would slow down your other mechanics which would irritate the fuck out of them since they work on flag hours, having someone supervise his work means that you're paying for one of them out of your own pocket since jobs are billed based on flag hours, and your liability insurance wouldn't cover his work.

quote:

It is how doctors are trained, they are called residents.

Yeah, after years of schooling.

quote:

However, she should probably start out for free. Cut her teeth. Just like a new restaurant opening up has a free day to train the staff, she should probably do the same. Maybe find a Domme supervisor...

Honestly, I would have suggested that she find herself a mentor, but she's not doing real life, she's only doing online.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 5/9/2013 2:14:08 PM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to FunCouple5280)

Post #: 28

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 2:31:34 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

I HAVE been searching. I've just spend five days scouring the Internet for ideas, and I've only found one page so far that actually lists ideas. I'm not asking you to do my work for me, I'm asking you what some of your favorite ideas are - Dommes AND subs - because I want to make sure that I'm doing it correctly, and not boring the subs to death because they're used to having someone else's good ideas. Slightly rude and unnecessary response to a completely innocent question, though, thanks. Totally helped, I'm so glad I decided to trust that another Domme would want to give advice to someone who just got into the scene.

I'm sorry you thought humiliating people for cash on line would be so easy. Did you search these forums? No. I know that because I know the subject has come up often.

When I'm rude there will be no doubt in your mind. In the meantime, no one likes a lazy domme, and quite frankly since you don't know what you are doing, you shouldn't be charging anyone for it.

(in reply to Hollyucinogen)

Post #: 29

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 2:34:27 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline

OP, pop by the house, I will give you hands on training. The stench of it will never shower off, I guarentee.

Hope this helps.

Ron

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(in reply to LafayetteLady)

Post #: 30

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 3:55:39 PM

SeverinVim

Posts: 69
Joined: 9/6/2011
Status: offline

OP, don't take it personally. They do this to everyone. This is their "initiation" ritual when they think you're a newbie, etc. Also, to many of them, being a FinDom is not "legitimate." Please don't take it personally and continue to post. Happy to have you here. :-)

(in reply to mnottertail)

Post #: 31

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 5:56:59 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

How about the fact that we simply find it offensive that some young women decide to be a findomme because they think it is easy money? Have you considered that one?

(in reply to SeverinVim)

Post #: 32

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 8:07:29 PM

zpenguin

Posts: 123
Joined: 1/14/2013
Status: offline

Id have to side with severinvim on that one lol, seems like most of the newer members posts/threads get ripped to shreds...happened to me the first few threads I posted on here and I've seen it with others...

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Post #: 33

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 8:33:21 PM

RemoteUser

Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline

At the risk of suggesting the obvious: why not ask them what they want, then turn it into something better that you want? The strongest coercion begins with knowledge and ends with application.

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Post #: 34

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/9/2013 8:37:56 PM

MasterCaneman

Posts: 3842
Joined: 3/21/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeverinVim

OP, don't take it personally. They do this to everyone. This is their "initiation" ritual when they think you're a newbie, etc. Also, to many of them, being a FinDom is not "legitimate." Please don't take it personally and continue to post. Happy to have you here. :-)

Does this mean we can't break out the robes and cricket bats?

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The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting. ~ Sun Tzu

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(in reply to SeverinVim)

Post #: 35

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/10/2013 12:19:30 AM

SpanishMatMaster

Posts: 967
Joined: 9/28/2011
Status: offline

[deleted]

< Message edited by SpanishMatMaster -- 5/10/2013 12:20:26 AM >

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(in reply to Hollyucinogen)

Post #: 36

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/11/2013 9:51:22 PM

TheGintooo

Posts: 9
Joined: 5/10/2013
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hollyucinogen

I'm somewhat new to the scene, and I find myself worrying a bit that I'm going to run out of ideas for dominating a sub. What are some of your favorite ways to humiliate a sub over webcam? What sorts of assignments do you give your subs to complete? Note: I don't do this in real life, I only do this online.

Hi...I'm searching for online female slave too...but I think people here have enough experience to see online dominating as silly idea..because they already tried it in real life..anyway..I'm thinking of some ideas to dominate your sub online..why you don't order him to do humiliating things toward the webcam ?..like wearing weird dresses to make you laugh at him..or call him with inssulting words..you can also order him to make hard works toward the camera like cleaning or do hard effort..try to punish him by stop talking with him for a long time..and make him big you..write his name on your shoes or on a paper inside it..or on the toilet lol..Idk if I said good ideas or not..I just wanna try these things online for the 1st time !

(in reply to Hollyucinogen)

Post #: 37

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/12/2013 2:08:40 AM

Rasnow

Posts: 53
Joined: 8/30/2010
From: La La Land
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
when I pay a doctor, I expect he or she has been to an accredited medical school and has completed a residency. My point is to perhaps get some actual hands-on and mentoring in your local community with people in the flesh before charging money to cut your eye teeth.

Sorry, no ideas for you unless you're willing to share the wealth

This. Try doing it pro-bono for a while until you figure things out, I know I wouldn't pay for a service from someone who has no clue what they're doing.

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Post #: 38

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/12/2013 5:23:19 PM

HarryVanWinkle

Posts: 1720
Joined: 5/8/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Rasnow

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDarkArt
when I pay a doctor, I expect he or she has been to an accredited medical school and has completed a residency. My point is to perhaps get some actual hands-on and mentoring in your local community with people in the flesh before charging money to cut your eye teeth.

Sorry, no ideas for you unless you're willing to share the wealth

This. Try doing it pro-bono for a while until you figure things out, I know I wouldn't pay for a service from someone who has no clue what they're doing.

^^^ What they said.^^^

(in reply to Rasnow)

Post #: 39

RE: Ideas for humiliating/dominating a sub? - 5/17/2013 9:11:58 AM

garyFLR

Posts: 4030
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline

A Dominant Lady who doesn't know how to humiliate... Contradiction in terms

?

(in reply to Hollyucinogen)

Post #: 40

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