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What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 4:33:53 AM

PeonForHer

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I've just read of a man who split up with his mistress because she told him to wear nail varnish. His reaction was, to her, so over the top that she ditched him.

It's made me try to think of ostensibly small and innocuous things that I could be told to do but which would nonetheless alarm me. But, I guess one of the reasons why this man was thrown was precisely because it hadn't occurred to him to put the wearing of nail varnish on his list of hard limits.

(On the other hand, my ex liked me with a mullet hair style. That got cut within hours of our splitting up. I should have been arrested for going around inflicting that hair style on an innocent public.)

ETA the actual question: Have you done something with a sub, or told him/her to do something, that's elicited a completely out-of-proportion reaction? Or if you're a sub, have you surprised yourself in this way with an overreaction?

< Message edited by PeonForHer -- 5/10/2013 4:50:15 AM >

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 2:31:47 PM

VioletViolence

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No, I haven't but that must have been some freak out over not wanting to wear nail polish for the guy to get dumped. In my world if someone has an issue with something I want then I expect them to tell me why, calmly and unless it's something absolutely necessary to our relationship, if they have a good reason I doubt I'd push it.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 3:18:05 PM

PeonForHer

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VV, I love you. All the others here have ignored my thread. I never knew people here could be so vicious.

Apparently, the bloke was into being "feminised", too. I should imagine that his mistress probably thought getting him to wear nail varnish was at the mildest end of that kink.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 3:25:02 PM

pretzelLove

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Funny enough, my overreaction had to do with nail polish too. I HATE to have my toe nails touched, even by me, and my former Master wanted me to start having pedicures. I didnt mind all the other stuff, but them painting my nails was out of the question. My refusal was the beginning of the end for us, but it has worked out for the best.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 3:38:44 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pretzelLove

Funny enough, my overreaction had to do with nail polish too. I HATE to have my toe nails touched, even by me, and my former Master wanted me to start having pedicures. I didnt mind all the other stuff, but them painting my nails was out of the question. My refusal was the beginning of the end for us, but it has worked out for the best.

You know, even if I had an urge to be a dominant, which I don't, I still think I'd be edgy with a femsub. My (no doubt sweeping and superficial) impression is that they can be amazingly accommodating in all sorts of obvious ways, but will be as delicate as bone china in others. "Bang me black and blue and as much as you want, then leave me trussed up in the garbage bin - but just don't touch my toes"

I'm not saying that's you, exactly - but I could easily imagine it of a femsub. Still, maybe malesubs have their own little fragilities.

Come to think of it: I don't like kneeling. I would do, except that it hurts my knees. Kind of an elementary failing for a malesub, I guess.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 4:00:25 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

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Peon...even kneeling on an uber soft (memory foam and gel?) wide cushion or pillow hurts? Mine would, if I were on the other side of the kneel...but then, I need surgery in both of mine and I'm delaying that ugly day for as long as possible.

M'kay. A surprising limit I've run into in the past was over wearing a blindfold. I could strip someone nekkid, bathe him, beat him silly while in restraints, deflower his virgin ass...but he (using singular to make the sentence easier, as more than one male sub/bottom had this same limit) was very afraid of being blindfolded.

From the other side of the kneel...I have to say that I have some surprising (unreasonable and even petty) limits of my own.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 4:13:34 PM

Spiritedsub2

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I am like this a bit - canes, straps, belts, all good, but even the most gentle featherlight touch of teeth in sensitive places makes me panic. Makes me want to punch lights out!

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 4:13:38 PM

PeonForHer

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Cynthia,

Oh yes - I could imagine a man being *very* alarmed by wearing a blindfold. Actually, myself, too. I think it might go to that thing about men being 'visual creatures'. Seeing is knowing. Lord, take my power, Oh Mistress, but don't take my knowledge!

I'm sorry to hear about your knee problem. Knees are bastards, aren't they? Me, I have very knobbly knees and the bits I kneel on hurt. Cushions make it OK - pads of any kind. But I'm pretty sure that I'll develop much worse knee problems in my old age. It runs in the family.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 4:16:59 PM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I am like this a bit - canes, straps, belts, all good, but even the most gentle featherlight touch of teeth in sensitive places makes me panic. Makes me want to punch lights out!

Sometimes I think, hetero femsubs get turned on by 'brutal'. They know men can be brutal - and, yummy, they want that, all right. They just get edgy about maledoms being artful and delicate about their dominating.

That's my impression - no doubt simple, though.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 4:47:26 PM

Spiritedsub2

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2

I am like this a bit - canes, straps, belts, all good, but even the most gentle featherlight touch of teeth in sensitive places makes me panic. Makes me want to punch lights out!

Sometimes I think, hetero femsubs get turned on by 'brutal'. They know men can be brutal - and, yummy, they want that, all right. They just get edgy about maledoms being artful and delicate about their dominating.

That's my impression - no doubt simple, though.

Maybe. I'm too new to know that yet, and brutal doesn't appeal to me at all. Maybe in 10 years I'll feel differently!

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 7:19:07 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Come to think of it: I don't like kneeling. I would do, except that it hurts my knees. Kind of an elementary failing for a malesub, I guess.

Nonsense.

Having seen your pics, there isn't a sensible Domme in the world who would ever have your butt out of sight.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 7:24:17 PM

UllrsIshtar

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

Have you done something with a sub, or told him/her to do something, that's elicited a completely out-of-proportion reaction?

As far as elicit a completely out-of-proportion reaction goes, not when going over the threshold of his limits, but with him attempting to go over the threshold of mine:

I've had a sub completely and utterly freak out and emotional break down at my refusal to continue a scene after they basically stated they no longer consented.

And that was with somebody with whom there had been no discussion at all about consensual non-consent.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 8:17:17 PM

FrostedFlake

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quote:

ETA the actual question: Have you done something with a sub, or told him/her to do something, that's elicited a completely out-of-proportion reaction? Or if you're a sub, have you surprised yourself in this way with an overreaction?

...uh, ...yeah...

You?

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 8:58:06 PM

NiceButMeanGirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Have you done something with a sub, or told him/her to do something, that's elicited a completely out-of-proportion reaction? Or if you're a sub, have you surprised yourself in this way with an overreaction?

I don't really remember anyone totally freaking out over something I asked him to do, but the closest thing to a total freak out came when I asked this one sub about him receiving strap-on sex. I never even told him to bend over at that point in time, I just asked him during negotiations if he was okay with it or if it was a hard limit. He had that deer in the headlights look in his eyes. lol

NBMG

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 10:25:35 PM

LadyPact

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The closest I can come on this one is that I used to know a gal who couldn't tolerate any kind of metal on her wrists.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/10/2013 11:31:50 PM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

(On the other hand, my ex liked me with a mullet hair style. That got cut within hours of our splitting up. I should have been arrested for going around inflicting that hair style on an innocent public.)

I actually saw a guy with a mullet tonight. I did a double-take because it's been years since I've actually seen one.

It wasn't you, was it?

I had a total anxiety attack on the Mister over a very slight sarcastic tease about the way I loaded the dishwasher. But then I had dishwasher trauma (actually it triggered a PTSD reaction). He wouldn't let me load the thing for months after that. It's all better now, though.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/11/2013 12:09:28 AM

littleclip

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no placing live eels analy!

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/11/2013 1:08:11 AM

MaamJay

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There was one sub who freaked out. I had met him in person (AND taken him out to dinner with other D/s friends!), but because his job took him all over the country I mostly worked with him online. I met him here at CM and had talked with him for some months. However, I wanted him to get a wider experience of bdsm and different types of relationships and how they work, not all his information coming from Me alone. All I asked him to do was to read two forums here (General and Ask a Mistress) and post once a week to each. This was by no means an unreasonable time imposition as he had quite a lot of lonely down time between flights. Now, I said he could create a special account without his real name in it to cruise the forums, and his posts could be as simple as "Thanks, i learned a lot from this thread". There was NO requirement that he share anything of himself ... and I explained that several times during the course of our "discussions". However, he totally freaked out saying that there was no way he was going to spill his guts to a load of strangers etc etc and broke up with Me over it.

I was shocked at the time, posting to a forum wasn't on his stated limits list, but I have to think it was probably better for Me in the long run, even though I am still looking for that right boy!

Maam Jay aka violet[A]

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/11/2013 5:17:16 PM

wannapleez

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quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer
Apparently, the bloke was into being "feminised", too. I should imagine that his mistress probably thought getting him to wear nail varnish was at the mildest end of that kink.

OK, first off, the over-reaction was uncalled for. But I wonder if it was more so about the venue/publicness than about the activity itself.

Case in point: My first R/L Domme liked me in panties and sometimes stockings -- and for the longest, that was confined to our play time. But, one time she made me drive to the hotel (where we were going to play) in shorts while wearing thigh highs. I was supposed to check-in still wearing them (so that, at the very least, the guy behind the counter would see me dressed thusly). I chickened out (and was properly punished when I confessed) but I didn't freak out over it.

I have since done things that "exposed" either my feminization or general subiness to others. But I still prefer that it remain in the bedroom. I wonder if it was a similar situation for that guy.

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RE: What's the most surprising limit you've come across? - 5/11/2013 5:23:29 PM

MadamAsianDom

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Not an activity, no. I ran across a "limit" (for lack of a better word) with one, though, during a discussion about his tendency of getting involved with married women, and how he felt conflicted for doing so, because of his religious beliefs, and not wanting to be an adulterer. I pointed out to him that from the perspective of his religion on his bible, he wasn't an adulterer, he was a fornicator.

Regardless of anything I said after the word "fornicator", pointing out the differences per his bible, he was extremely offended, not only didn't want to discuss it anymore, but didn't want to talk to me anymore after that.

< Message edited by MadamAsianDom -- 5/11/2013 5:28:12 PM >

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