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New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 6:27:35 AM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		Hi, about 6 weeks ago I made contact with a Domme in another country and chatted via IM, she had just found someone so said we can continue to talk as friends if I liked so I did. So I said hi pretty much every day, she was friendly and seemed genuine, but I found I always had to make the conversation and she hardly ever asked me anything about myself. I figured she had many subs talking to her so accepted that.

Then two weeks ago I learned her sub had let her down, so I asked if she would consider me, she said yes, she will take me on. So I had/have to send daily reports and other email tasks and continued to chat on IM, but still same thing - me making all the conversation, and no personal interest in me. Had first cam sessions this weekend, really great, and she says she enjoyed it, am a good slave etc. So I ask her why no conversation etc, do you regret taking me on etc - she says not at all, she is interested in me, likes me, all reassuring stuff.

But since then, hardly any conversation, never seems to have time to chat (and I mean vanilla chat).

I feel it is futile to pursue this, or am I being too impatient, or missing something?

Thanks!

PS just in case anyone thinks it, no, my credit card was not invloved in this in any way:)

< Message edited by mayiserveplease -- 5/10/2013 6:30:57 AM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 6:39:55 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		My two cents she knows you will be there when others are not online for her to play with. I know Dommes are hard to find and they can have more subs bowing at their feet than they know what to do with. I have a feeling she does also and maybe is liking the attention she is getting from them?!? I hate to say it but it sounds like she just wants you for a online playtoy well she maybe looking for someone else. If you don't mind then keep doing as you are otherwise I would say move on.

kar

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 6:43:29 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		The cam session - were you naked and/or doing sexual things? Could you see her as well?

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 7:07:09 AM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		Thanks for that, I think you may be correct, I know she is searching for RT subs, and I don't mind that, and sure I know she must like the attention. Yes, I fear you are right too in that I'm just being used to fill gaps. I feel the reason she has little time for me is because she is vetting potential RTs.

I'll try discussing it again with her, but feel an inevitable outcome :(

(in reply to Rasciallymisty)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 7:10:18 AM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		Yes I was naked and doing things, and yes she was on cam too.I hope you are not thinking I should be worried about that ??????

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 7:24:37 AM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mayiserveplease

Yes I was naked and doing things, and yes she was on cam too.I hope you are not thinking I should be worried about that ??????



I wondered if you could see her on cam since she could have been a man. If she's been aloof all along but was interested enough in seeing your goodies for the cam session, then the angle of her being a man might have had something to it as he might have really only been interested in the sexual aspect of things.

Of course you should be worried about a stranger having footage of you naked and doing things, since anyone can record another's cam. If I Skyped with you today or cammed and we kept our clothing on, with a very simple computer program you or I could still have footage of the other that we could upload images of the other for any reason, on any site. You could take a still shot of me and upload it somewhere calling me a scam artist/adult performer/volleyball player/Catholic/vegetarian/murderer or anything else that comes to mind. Think of what you could do with naked pics of me and any information about my private life. Blackmail anyone?

Getting footage of you may still have been her intent. It's not too crazy to think so since she didn't really want to have much to do with you on a personal basis, but she seemed to have time to watch you get naked.

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 7:37:01 AM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		Hi, thanks for your response. Yes, I do know one can record/grab from a cam. Well, she is female but yes that can still leave the blackmail aspect. It is of course a risk I considered, but felt after a month of just chatting that is she was a blackmailer, or some other scam, I would have been offered a session by her and not have to offer myself up as I did. I have not given her any personal info apart from my first name, nor access to my computer. But, yes I must admit to being worried a little :(

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 7:47:23 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Maybe she isn't much of a talker

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 8:03:14 AM   
SeekingTrinity


Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
Status: offline 		~FRing it~

So hard to say what might be going on. Maybe she just isn't that into you, OP? If this isn't making you happy, there is no point in sticking around

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 8:10:50 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Does this online situation satisfy you? Because it doesn't sound like it does.

We tell female subs all the time, "don't make someone a priority who only considers you an option" (or something like that). This applies to males as well.

It sounds like you are "boredom guy." The one she will talk to when she has nothing else to do. Personally, I wouldn't tolerate that from someone, but if you are ok with it, then continue.

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 8:29:18 AM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		LafayetteLady:

Thanks, it does seem that way to me too, and wise words:)

I would be happy with online if there was a better personal connection but unfortunately i think you are all right in that I'm wasting my time here.

SeekingTrinity - It seems not..

chatterbox24 - LOL problem fixed!

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 8:31:23 AM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		Not for nothing, but do you really need to post links to someone's profile?

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 8:34:27 AM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		Sorry, did not intend that, was just copy/pasting the usernames, did not realize it made them links. New poster:) 

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 9:52:35 AM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline 		OP,
Go to a munch. Meet someone in real life. Stop begging for time from strangers on the internet.

You're welcome.
-Roch

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 11:46:12 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		FR

Who knows what her reasoning is. It does sound like you're her back up plan, or she just likes to feel pursued and is giving you just enough attention to keep you keen but to make you work for it.

The important thing is, it's not working for you. There is no right or wrong when it comes to relationships - even cam based kinky ones - if you're not feeling that it's filling your needs, don't spend time getting more invested. If you really think she's super special, have one more try to express yourself; 'Hi there, love the kinky play but I really need some conversation too', but be ready to walk away.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to Rochsub2009)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 12:29:55 PM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		Thanks everyone for you help:)

Athena, well, I did think it a possibility she likes me to be chasing her like that, and if that was the case I'd be sort of ok with that, but not indifference. I have been searching a really long time, so I think I'll give it one more shot as you suggest, and as you say be ready to walk.

(in reply to AthenaSurrenders)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 1:33:34 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mayiserveplease

Thanks everyone for you help:)

Athena, well, I did think it a possibility she likes me to be chasing her like that, and if that was the case I'd be sort of ok with that, but not indifference. I have been searching a really long time, so I think I'll give it one more shot as you suggest, and as you say be ready to walk.


I know you didn't ask, but understanding that you have been looking for a long time....

Perhaps you should add a little more about yourself outside of kink. Who you are as a person, not simply a sub or slave. Us girls like that kind of stuff, and it might make you a bit more appealing when they read your profile.

I don't know if you have an age range, but I will say that at 48, you should consider a woman within reasonable age as yourself. I only say this because older men looking for the under 25 women have a more difficult time.

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 1:49:09 PM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		mayiserveplease, I just wanted to say its nice to have someone that has just joined the boards be so receptive and really want to hear the advice being offred to you. Hopefully it will help you and that you will find that special someone thats out there waiting just for you. Hope that you will join in on other discussions.

kar

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 3:32:29 PM   
mayiserveplease


Posts: 11
Joined: 8/26/2012
Status: offline 		LafayetteLady - well I must say you are very perceptive, she is 23 :) But, I mostly contact Dommes late 30's and 40's, but being a male sub, one has to cast the net wide and far so to speak. Maybe the age is the problem, but she has known my age from day one. And I do of course look for locals and realtime first, but it seems any genuine Domme here is "taken", or should that be took!

I just checked my profile, and you are right, I say nothing about my vanilla side! I was sure I did, so will address that, thanks.

Kar - thank you so much! Well, I did come here seeking advice so would be foolish to ignore it:)

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: New online Mistress not talking to me - 5/10/2013 5:16:38 PM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		you would be surprised just how many do.

(in reply to mayiserveplease)
Profile   Post #: 20
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