Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Limits


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Limits Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Limits - 5/11/2013 8:09:55 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Duct tape anywhere near me.

I will say though, that somebody who knew I had zero experience in his form of preferred play asking me for limits would be a problem. Because how do you know what to limit when you haven't experienced any of it?

Myself, I prefer in such situations that instead of saying everything except these ten items to say only these ten items and nothing else. As far as the other stuff, I'd suggest that he doesn't get to use them in scene, but to demonstrate their impact casually. So you might get one or two swats with the crop and then discuss it. That way you won't feel obliged to let him use things that you discover you can't handle and he won't get disappointed when you safeword or break down and say you never want to play with him again.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to UllrsIshtar)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Limits - 5/11/2013 8:29:49 PM   
LafayetteLady


Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline 		I think as a general rule, there are a lot of things that people simply don't think to put on their "limits" list right away. Really, look at some of the things listed here. Duct tape, ok, that's one that can be easy to think of, but peas? It's one thing to say, "I don't like them," but how often in conversation will it come up that you can't stand the sight of them. Fish? Another that someone isn't likely to think of when making a list of their limits.

So I think one of the pre-made lists can be a good jumping off point. It gives you "starters" and perhaps will make you think of things that didn't come to mind immediately.

To the OP:

In answer to your other question:

BDSM Check List

Another Check list

I think these two will get you started.

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 12:06:25 AM   
AthenaSurrenders


Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline 		FR

I had to really think about this because my husband and I are very well-matched in tastes, so it hasn't really come up. I suppose my limits would be diapers (change enough of those already!) or anything involving excrement, and non-monogamy, as well as the usual (removal of limbs, anyone?). Obviously anything that would prevent me providing for the family (being chained in the basement, getting arrested for indecent exposure)... but I really can't imagine him EVER coming up with anything like that. Most types of play would be fine since even if I don't like them I trust him to do it safely.

Oh wait, I got one - on the same lines as the peas - no making me eat anything I don't want to. Saying I can not have something is fine, but no forcing me to eat. I had major food issues as a child and certain textures make me gag and panic. I've worked so very hard to get to the point that I can eat a lot of things I never used to, and I would be pissed if someone undid all my hard work.

_____________________________

Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?

(in reply to LafayetteLady)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 4:43:10 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Yes; Peon posted it in the mistress thread, I think.
I have diapers, housework, and teeth on my list. The dead fish one made me giggle...

In my defense, I looked at his thread and it is not about limits or what you consider a deal breaker...his is something about the strangest request a mistress has ever given...a few people responded with things they were asked to do that were limits...so a little similar but much more important!

Personally, I consider peas MUCH MORE SERIOUS than a sub not wanting to wear nail polish! Have you EVER seen the squishy inside of a pea?


*** CAUTION, NOT FOR PEA HATERS****

I love peas so much, I can have a bowl full alone for dinner!!! Yum Yum Yum!

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 4:45:03 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

FR

Sooo.... spearing a pea with a toenail (like an olive on a toothpick) is out of the question?



hahahaha, OMG that is funny, for me that is a total love hate relationship.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 4:50:10 AM   
MissBlueangel


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/28/2012
Status: offline 		I like peas a lot...although wind is a problem afterwards ( someone had a fart fetish the other day )
But Pee hole play ...I dont like
A 'hole' different world

_____________________________

Its only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure.
Pauline Reage
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would chose pain
The Wild Palms by William Faulkner

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 4:54:13 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		A fart fetish? ha. This is to much. I will add this to a hard limit. I don't like the smell of mine, and I wont like the smell of yours doubly. Those damn peas.

_____________________________

I am like a box of chocolates, you never know what variety you are going to get on any given day.

My crazy smells like jasmine, cloves and cat nip.

(in reply to MissBlueangel)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 4:57:17 AM   
MissBlueangel


Posts: 147
Joined: 6/28/2012
Status: offline 		Oh it was 'smell' specific... this particular Fart Fetish
Marvelous

_____________________________

Its only when you make me suffer that I feel safe and secure.
Pauline Reage
Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would chose pain
The Wild Palms by William Faulkner

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 5:04:53 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Level

FR

Sooo.... spearing a pea with a toenail (like an olive on a toothpick) is out of the question?


I used to love peas. I used to love you too, Level.

Now I hate you both


*barfbarfbaaaarrrrfffffff!*

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 5:16:37 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 5:35:27 AM   
ShaunC


Posts: 4
Joined: 4/17/2013
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ

My non-traditional hard limit is most forms of paper.
I have a multi-sensorial aversion to it: the way it feels, the way it sounds (either crinkling or the sound of pencil on it) and the way it smells especially when it is wet.




I had never thought of this until now but I'd have to add balls of cotton wool to my limits on that basis, the feeling of it if you roll it between two fingers just sends shivers all over me for absolutely no reason whatsoever, but it is truly horrible!

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 7:20:14 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Oooh man, the lilone regularly tries to invent new limits, wild crazy things like, "No sandblasting equipment," "No eating pork brains smothered in silkworms (Last night)," "No raw calamari shoved inside of her then force fed as natural flavored sushi," and crazy crap like that.
I always point out bout then that she never mentioned these things before so they are wide open fair game.
Yeah-she so wishes she'd never made that theoretical limits list.

In seriousness, lay out the very hard limits, then tell him the things that have caused problems in the past but that you could possibly consider were the man/emotional centering/circumstances right. Lay it out, find out what he wants/needs (two radically different things),table the discussion, then explore each other and the interaction.
Find out what clicks between the two of you, what doesn't. Find out what makes his mind explode and what he does for you that does likewise.
And vice versa.
Then, in a few months, pick up that tabled list, sit down (Or in her case, kneels like the slut she is) and discuss it, this time with some experience and interrelating behind the ideals/past traumas/joys.
Do this again and again throughout the relationship.
Rinse, repeat.

It works, trust me here, this shit really does. And its important shit, especially since it sounds like he's trying to define the boundaries of your interaction and his position in it.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to ShaunC)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 8:22:29 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I can't really think of anything crazy. I don't really have any kind of strange phobias. Read what Master wrote and yeah that pretty much covers us. He has known me well enough over the years to know what really bothers me and what doesn't. Thankfully I didn't have to eat the pork brains at the Thai restaurant. But hey, I was more than willing to try the silk worms but I have a feeling it would have grossed him out if I ordered them. hehehe

ETA: For me it's always been that if it doesn't kill me or leave me a vegetable then while I may be uncomfortable or hate something or it makes me squeamish, I'm going to do what he tells me. Now there may be some comforting and/or conversation afterwards but I'm still going to do it. Why? Because I trust him.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 5/12/2013 8:29:59 AM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 8:28:50 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		See...I will pretty much do what I am told (Catholic school and a Old World father..so just ingrained) by somebody I trust...in fact, I will feel really guilty NOT trying. And before anyone asks...if I was told to do something against my basic values or that is illegal then I lose all respect for you & no longer trust that you have my safety & well-being at heart so then it goes back to step A. The pea thing, on the other hand, is something that I could just NOT force myself to do!

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 8:31:17 AM   
Spiritedsub2


Posts: 3316
Joined: 7/18/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24


quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Yes; Peon posted it in the mistress thread, I think.
I have diapers, housework, and teeth on my list. The dead fish one made me giggle...

In my defense, I looked at his thread and it is not about limits or what you consider a deal breaker...his is something about the strangest request a mistress has ever given...a few people responded with things they were asked to do that were limits...so a little similar but much more important!

Personally, I consider peas MUCH MORE SERIOUS than a sub not wanting to wear nail polish! Have you EVER seen the squishy inside of a pea?


*** CAUTION, NOT FOR PEA HATERS****

I love peas so much, I can have a bowl full alone for dinner!!! Yum Yum Yum!

There is nothing sweeter in the whole world than fresh raw spring peas, straight from the pod. :) [toenails excluded]

_____________________________

Don’t grieve. Anything you lose comes round in another form.
~ Rumi

Laughing Dolphin

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 8:35:48 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		On my hard limit list: Skydiving (I'm terrified of heights), needles, bowling (hate it), mixed vegetables (full on phobia), and anything that will stain the new hard wood floors.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Spiritedsub2)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 8:40:48 AM   
absolutchocolat


Posts: 1392
Status: offline 		FR

I hate super-long hair. It gets everywhere and it's gross.

Peas and carrots.

Granny panties, because they ride up on me. Thongs and g-strings are much more comfy.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 8:56:59 AM   
Kaliko


Posts: 3381
Joined: 9/25/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: absolutchocolat

Granny panties, because they ride up on me. Thongs and g-strings are much more comfy.



I love granny panties. I bought a pair a couple of months ago. (Completely by mistake! I swear!) I grabbed what I thought were a few of the same type/color/size and instead I got a handful of different ones, all the same color, but several different styles.

Anyway, I put them on (still not yet realizing what they were..I was rushing, getting ready for work) and dear Lord they were the most comfortable things I've ever worn! I was so pleasant to be around that day. :)

I can't find them now. I think he might have burned them while I was at work.


< Message edited by Kaliko -- 5/12/2013 8:57:41 AM >

(in reply to absolutchocolat)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 10:45:50 AM   
TieMeInKnottss


Posts: 1944
Joined: 9/6/2012
Status: offline 		Is anyone else seeing a common thread here...Everyone hates a type of vegetable or food item! From my unscientific count I am noticing that Feet and vegetables are the most common hard limits!

(in reply to Kaliko)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Limits - 5/12/2013 11:12:47 AM   
UllrsIshtar


Posts: 3693
Joined: 7/28/2012
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss

Everyone hates a type of vegetable or food item!


Not everybody.

In an M/s there isn't anything non-deathly that I would even attempt to hard limit eating. Including stuff that aren't normally considered food items fit for human consumption.

Still hate feet though. But I also didn't hard limit that in my last M/s relationship (lord knows I tried to hard limit that one though).

< Message edited by UllrsIshtar -- 5/12/2013 11:13:13 AM >

_____________________________

I can be your whore
I am the dirt you created
I am your sinner
And your whore
But let me tell you something baby
You love me for everything you hate me for

(in reply to TieMeInKnottss)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Limits Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094