Limits

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TieMeInKnottss -> Limits (5/11/2013 11:36:35 AM)
I began seeing someone who is more into pain, impact & edge play (although he claims to not be a sadist!). I have never had an interest in any of those & typically involved/played with doms who also lacked interest in them..so I never had to really SET limits. When it comes to limits, I have always been "if you have standards you don't need limits" (carefully select WHO & the what falls into place)... Anyway, apparently I scared the new guy a couple of times when we were playing & he has said I need to write down my limits. I know there is a list somewhere that many people use, so if anyone know where to find it, that would be great. Now, the fun part...when he & I were talking I made clear that it is a COMPLETE deal breaker (I will get up, get dressed, walk home at 2AM) if he EVER brought PEAS (yes the little green ones!) near me...So what crazy things do other people have as "hard" limits.

chatterbox24 -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 11:50:55 AM)
FEET!!! OMG FEET!!! Don't prop your feet on me, don't ask me to touch them or massage them. When I think of massaging feet I think of massaging the smell into my hands LOL. CLean feet? there is no such thing to me, the most vile disgusting thing, next to an asshole for me. LMAO. Men feet with hair on the big toe, GROSS. Most men's big toes look like little astronaut heads with hairy helmets to me. Want to massage my feet? Want to kiss my butt? no problem but get yours away from me.[:D] I would rather clean up puke, or clean up dog poop, then endure the smell of stinky feet too. Oh Lord feet are definitely a hard limit for me.

lizi -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 11:56:28 AM)
Normal hard limits (other than the usual no death, dismemberment, kids, animals, etc) are anything other than partner on partner sex, extreme pain/sensation to the nipples, or humiliation. The one crazy hard limit I have is no dead fish. I was scarred in childhood by the constant carpet of dead fish underfoot whenever we went to the nearby lake to swim - which was often. No dead fish. In fact, no living ones either...they freak me out. I will throw a deafening freakout of Godzilla proportions that just might include bodily harm if I am too near a fish that is not encapsulated in glass or whatever. Thankfully this has never happened in anyone's home, I have had it happen when I've been 'surprised' by a dead fish outside while at a beach.

Kaliko -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 11:58:16 AM)
First of all...belly buttons. No way, no day. Anything and everything. Ew. And second...am I having deja vu? Wasn't there a thread about this already? But I can't find it anywhere....

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 12:19:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko First of all...belly buttons. No way, no day. Anything and everything. Ew. And second...am I having deja vu? Wasn't there a thread about this already? But I can't find it anywhere.... Yes; Peon posted it in the mistress thread, I think. I have diapers, housework, and teeth on my list. The dead fish one made me giggle...

Kaliko -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 12:20:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko First of all...belly buttons. No way, no day. Anything and everything. Ew. And second...am I having deja vu? Wasn't there a thread about this already? But I can't find it anywhere.... Yes; Peon posted it in the mistress thread, I think. I have diapers, housework, and teeth on my list. The dead fish one made me giggle... Ah...then that's why I couldn't find it. Ask a Mistress is one of my hard limits. I only go there when I'm drunk.

Spiritedsub2 -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 12:25:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko quote: ORIGINAL: Spiritedsub2 quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko First of all...belly buttons. No way, no day. Anything and everything. Ew. And second...am I having deja vu? Wasn't there a thread about this already? But I can't find it anywhere.... Yes; Peon posted it in the mistress thread, I think. I have diapers, housework, and teeth on my list. The dead fish one made me giggle... Ah...then that's why I couldn't find it. Ask a Mistress is one of my hard limits. I only go there when I'm drunk. [sm=rofl.gif] Here is a link to the thread: http://www.collarchat.com/m_4440989/tm.htm

angelikaJ -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 12:50:52 PM)
My non-traditional hard limit is most forms of paper. I have a multi-sensorial aversion to it: the way it feels, the way it sounds (either crinkling or the sound of pencil on it) and the way it smells especially when it is wet.

garyFLR -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 1:18:26 PM)
CBT, the very thought of it makes my teeth go on edge, & cringe on the inside :-(.

myotherself -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 2:00:24 PM)
Toe nails and finger nails. They absolutely freak me out. I don't ever want to touch any of them, not even my own! Toe nail clippings make me barf. I once stayed the night in a posh hotel in Boston and as I was walking barefoot round the bedroom I trod on someone else's toenail that had been caught in the carpet. Although normally a very quiet, polite person I threw up, then threw the biggest hissy fit in history. Ten minutes later I was in a new room with a fab upgrade. And I made damn sure the carpet was checked for more snagged toe nail clippings shudders

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 2:05:43 PM)
Yes; Peon posted it in the mistress thread, I think. I have diapers, housework, and teeth on my list. The dead fish one made me giggle... In my defense, I looked at his thread and it is not about limits or what you consider a deal breaker...his is something about the strangest request a mistress has ever given...a few people responded with things they were asked to do that were limits...so a little similar but much more important! Personally, I consider peas MUCH MORE SERIOUS than a sub not wanting to wear nail polish! Have you EVER seen the squishy inside of a pea?

LizDeluxe -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 2:11:52 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TieMeInKnottss I began seeing someone who is more into pain, impact & edge play (although he claims to not be a sadist!). I have never had an interest in any of those & typically involved/played with doms who also lacked interest in them..so I never had to really SET limits. When it comes to limits, I have always been "if you have standards you don't need limits" (carefully select WHO & the what falls into place)... So now that you are faced with the proposition of setting limits what does that say about your standards?

joybaby -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 2:15:57 PM)
ew i have the same problem with nails...toenails more than fingernails, but they're both disgusting. Feet are just icky. I'm a phlebotomist and sometimes i have to draw blood from people's feet. I guess i can handle that because i'm wearing gloves, and most of the time it's relatively easy so it's over quickly. One of the most unpleasant experiences i've ever had in a restaurant was the time that this woman was clipping her fingernails, at her table, while waiting for her meal to be served. The other one was the time i saw a woman flossing her teeth at her table between dinner & dessert. I tried to rationalize it, thinking that maybe she was disabled and couldn't get to the restroom...but then she finished her flossing (while sitting across from, talking to, and maintaining eye contact with her date or partner or whoever this poor guy was) and got up to wander around the room and look at the art on the walls until dessert came. Both of these were Mexican restaurants (not the same one, though). I know that has nothing to do with the behavior of these two women, i just thought it was quite a coincidence. I agree wholeheartedly with Chatterbox24...you can kiss my butt and do whatever you'd like with my feet, but i'm not touching yours. If that's not fair, so be it.

Kaliko -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 2:54:48 PM)
Oh, I'm totally with you. Pea soup is okay, but actual peas are the devil.

Level -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 3:59:39 PM)
FR Sooo.... spearing a pea with a toenail (like an olive on a toothpick) is out of the question?

HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 4:07:01 PM)
Okay, you've got a new one to me. I've long said that my hard limits are hospitals, jails, morgues, anything that's really likely to put me into one of them. I've had to add to that list lately, fortunately not due to a bad experience, any form of CBT that cannot be done to me repeatedly. Now you've made me add one. I'm with you on the peas. Although I will happily submit to broccoli.

TieMeInKnottss -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 4:25:21 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LizDeluxe So now that you are faced with the proposition of setting limits what does that say about your standards? I don't really understand the question... I never had a PROBLEM with setting limits, I am just more of the go-along-type...I wait until somebody asks me to do something (in general not just sex or play stuff)... The standards statement came from the fact that I am more compelled to do something asked of me by someone I truly trust and respect. I am not the sheep type who will do something anyone tells me to, but I am very, very likely to do ANYTHING that someone I love, trust, respect, feel safe with...even suggests that they would EVEN like me to do... Liz, can you be more specific?

LafayetteLady -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 4:36:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joybaby ew i have the same problem with nails...toenails more than fingernails, but they're both disgusting. Feet are just icky. I'm a phlebotomist and sometimes i have to draw blood from people's feet. I guess i can handle that because i'm wearing gloves, and most of the time it's relatively easy so it's over quickly. One of the most unpleasant experiences i've ever had in a restaurant was the time that this woman was clipping her fingernails, at her table, while waiting for her meal to be served. The other one was the time i saw a woman flossing her teeth at her table between dinner & dessert. I tried to rationalize it, thinking that maybe she was disabled and couldn't get to the restroom...but then she finished her flossing (while sitting across from, talking to, and maintaining eye contact with her date or partner or whoever this poor guy was) and got up to wander around the room and look at the art on the walls until dessert came. Both of these were Mexican restaurants (not the same one, though). I know that has nothing to do with the behavior of these two women, i just thought it was quite a coincidence. I agree wholeheartedly with Chatterbox24...you can kiss my butt and do whatever you'd like with my feet, but i'm not touching yours. If that's not fair, so be it. Ok, that is just gross. I've worked on and off in restaurants for like 20 years, and I have to admit I've never seen that in any of them, and some weren't the 5 star type of eatery either. quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko Oh, I'm totally with you. Pea soup is okay, but actual peas are the devil. I'm just the opposite. I can't even tolerate the smell of pea soup, but I love peas. Hot with butter sauce, sauteed with chicken, cold in salad, and my personal fav, wasabi roasted peas. I think the pea soup thing is because when I was pregnant, my mother was making it and it made me vomit. Blech! quote: ORIGINAL: Level FR Sooo.... spearing a pea with a toenail (like an olive on a toothpick) is out of the question? That is a mental image that is not going to go away easily. Damn you Level!

Level -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 5:42:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LafayetteLady quote: ORIGINAL: Level FR Sooo.... spearing a pea with a toenail (like an olive on a toothpick) is out of the question? That is a mental image that is not going to go away easily. Damn you Level! puts LL firmly in the Not No, But Hell No category Ugh, that WOULD be pretty nasty [>:]

UllrsIshtar -> RE: Limits (5/11/2013 7:24:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chatterbox24 FEET!!! OMG FEET!!! Don't prop your feet on me, don't ask me to touch them or massage them. When I think of massaging feet I think of massaging the smell into my hands LOL. CLean feet? there is no such thing to me, the most vile disgusting thing, Ditto on all that.

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