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RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 7:11:26 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		I have been in two. The first was 4 years and a few months, it was long distance and the distance just got to be to much. The second was a little over six years though the last three years there was very very little D/s as his illnesses took over his body. Communication and trust where the two key things in both.

kar

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 7:25:14 AM   
Kana


Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline 		Seven plus, and we've known each other for, dear Gawd, where did the time go, nine.
Yeah, we work because we click. We have similar values, life experiences, goals, desires. (Plus we both think I'm the cats meow, which means we have great taste )
But really, mostly, we're together because:
A-We're willing to put the work in,
B-I've never been willing to let her go.
C-The rocks in my head fit perfectly with the holes in hers.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to myotherself)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 7:32:51 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		1 year

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 8:04:31 AM   
Wisenlilminx


Posts: 56
Joined: 2/11/2007
Status: offline 		My (bottom) wife and I will be married for 6 years in September. So we've been together over 8 year. I've had three other BDSM relationships that lasted a little over 6 years. My wife and I still are friends with two of them.

I've found focusing more on the relationship and let the BDSM stuff fall into place.

And I especially like a previous post:

"Let go of any ideas of what the 'perfect' sub/slave/dominant/mistress is like and don't be hard on yourselves if you need to make changes. "

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 8:13:42 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		As Master (Kana) said, 7 years and knowing each other 9 years and for the reasons he gave. But I was also married to my childhood sweetheart. We were married for 5 years before he passed away, but we knew each other for much longer, having grown up together in the same neighborhood, going to the same schools. I've always been a long term relationship kinda girl. I take my relationships seriously and do all I can to put the work into them.

Here's the thing...don't jump into relationships. Get to know the person first. That's the key imo.

ETA: It's not the bdsm that have made my relationships work. It was the love and getting to know each other and work.


< Message edited by littlewonder -- 5/12/2013 8:18:31 AM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 8:19:13 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kana


C-The rocks in my head fit perfectly with the holes in hers.



I absolutely love this!



_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk


(in reply to Kana)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 8:21:13 AM   
Rasciallymisty


Posts: 5749
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline 		Awe love both of your post and I agree 100% .... " Don't jump into relationships, get to know the person first." well said.

kar

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 8:22:27 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		12 years.

It is over.

(in reply to Rasciallymisty)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 8:28:45 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		Master and I have been friends for 16 years, together for 13 years, married for 12 years. We're still madly in love.

We are friends and we genuinely like each other. Our core values and goals match up. We have just enough different between us that we can still have a good debate. We work hard to ensure that each of us feels secure within the relationship and believe in transparency. He doesn't pull the "Because I'm the Dom" routine, and I don't expect him to read my mind.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 8:35:11 AM   
punisher440


Posts: 4122
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline 		My longest was 4 years dating,18 years married...but not all the time was it in a power exchange.We both enjoyed experimenting and it lead us both into what was right for us.For me,it can't all be kink nor can it all be vanilla.There is a happy blend somewhere in the middle between the 2 where both can enjoy being who and what they are.Like the others have said,communication is the key for it to last...oh,and don't forget honesty.Without honesty there can be no trust and without that you have nothing.[just my ]

_____________________________

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1H-Y7MAASkg&feature=related

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 11:41:28 AM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		Alandra and I have been a relationship since the summer of 1987. In June of 1990 Alandra and I were married and she took a vow of obedience. So... Been doing this along time. Kyra joined us in April 2005 as a relationship when she took a vow of obedience. In Dec 2006 she moved in we us... So been a poly lifestyle relationship abit too! But to be honest... We're the exception rather than the rule. I found over the years that most relationships struggle getting past three years.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 12:25:49 PM   
Born2PleezeU


Posts: 28
Joined: 5/3/2013
Status: offline 		Wow, thank you for all the heartfelt responses and helpful advice! I never realized my fellow kinksters are so freakin' cool, lol. I really appreciate the sharing of your experiences and insights.

I realize this thread represents a very small sample, but there seem to be a lot of BDSM relationships that don't last beyond 6 or 7 years. Perhaps this is paralleled in the world of vanilla relationships, but I would think with all the benefits of openness, sharing, communication, trust, etc. that a BDSM relationship requires, that there would be even more people in the 10+ year club.

And for those who havent made it past 6 or 7 month, don't give up hope of finding the right one with whom you can make it work, and work well.


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 12:26:39 PM   
KawaiiPerv


Posts: 5
Joined: 5/11/2013
Status: offline 		I've only been with one true dom for about 2 years. After that I tried to date people who weren't in the lifestyle but I craved submission and it made it difficult to be in more 'normal' relationships. Ah well, one day I shall have that again.

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 12:31:00 PM   
AVegasMaster


Posts: 119
Joined: 8/2/2010
Status: offline 		My longest was ten years.

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 12:34:50 PM   
MissToYouRedux


Posts: 867
Joined: 1/23/2010
Status: offline 		The longest, 10 years.

With submissives I've met through CM, four lasted or continues to last with no end in sight for over two years.

_____________________________

- Miss Marie


(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 5:13:25 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		My longest serious lifestyle relationship was just short of 4 years. I never thought it would end. It worked very well while it lasted, we both seemed fulfilled.

I'm not 100% sure I"ll be in another D/s relationship, maybe. I'm not sure I'd be able to hand over the trust necessary to make that work.

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 5:14:53 PM   
MizzSpitfire


Posts: 70
Joined: 2/16/2012
Status: offline 		My Master and I have been together for 5 1/2 years, and got married last summer!

(in reply to lizi)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 5:55:30 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		my first bdsm relationship lasted five years - and ended with his death. And for me the secret of its longevity was him - after we had been together for six months, he asked me how our relationship was - and was genuinely interested in what i had to say. It surprised the hell out of me, scared me and touched me. The fact that he was interested in keeping our relationship healthy said a lot to me.

My present relationship is three years and counting, and we will be married sometime in the future. Our relationships longevity i owe to the fact that we both want whats best for the other. We both were in marriages where the other was absent emotionally, and neither want that again.

(in reply to MizzSpitfire)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 6:03:22 PM   
MistressDarkArt


Posts: 5178
Status: offline 		13 and 14 years, presently and more or less concurrently.

The secret? Not living with them! Both S and I need our own domiciles, and Cabin Boy is raising his son and helping his aging mom in their house.

(in reply to Born2PleezeU)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: What is your longest serious relationship in the li... - 5/12/2013 6:34:00 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		This is my first and only d/s relationship. It will be ten years this summer. The things that make it a success are the same things that make vanilla relationships a success. Communication skills, relationship skills, compatibility. The more things you agree on, the less stress. And stress is a killer.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to MistressDarkArt)
Profile   Post #: 40
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