AthenaSurrenders
Posts: 3582
Joined: 3/15/2012
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: Zonie63
I think everyone has the right to complain about anything they want. I think it's unrealistic to expect that there wouldn't be posts/threads about findommes, since they do abound in great numbers here. I think that makes it fair game for commentary, if nothing else.
And it doesn't even have to do with whether or not it's a legitimate fetish or not. Too much of any kind of profile might make some people wonder. If 8 out of 10 profiles said that they were only into scat - and absolutely nothing else - then some people might think "Hey, what's the deal here?" It wouldn't mean that anyone is criticizing the fetish, but they might wonder why there would be so many people only into that one specific thing and why there wouldn't be more of a variety where different people would be into different things.
I don't disagree with that, but to then go around saying those advertising for that kink are taking away the integrity of our lifestyle would be just as silly as to say that about findommes.
They do abound in great numbers, and I have no doubt that a chunk of those profiles are actually people cashing in on what they think is an easy and lucrative scheme. And I understand the frustration. There are people attempting to profit from the desperation of others, which is scummy. You (general you) are looking for something which is very important to you and the odds are stacked against you. It feels like an added insult that people are trying to make money from that, and since this desire is so intimate and personal I could see how for some people it feels like they are being judged as inferior - your need for intimacy will only be fulfilled at a price and not because of your value as a human being. I am not unsympathetic to the feelings at play here.
Nevertheless, it's a futile anger. Even if the findommes went away, there are not enough non-financial lifestyle dommes to go around. They might be a little easier to find if they were the only domme profiles, but at the same time they'd still be a minority and they'd probably be getting more messages, since all the attention would be focused on them. Chances of getting noticed then, remain low.
Secondly, there are people who are into this, and have every right to be into this, and so there will always be findommes out there - both the 'genuine' type who dig it as a kink, and those who see it as an opportunity because, hey, they might stumble onto one of those dudes who wants to give away money and then everybody wins. Some of those findommes are serving a useful function - much like prodommes - because there are a large number of male subs out there who are looking only for their kink and nothing else, and the transactional nature of the arrangement means they can get it without having to forge relationships. These dudes would not vanish if findommes went away, they'd just have to try their luck with the other dominant women.
Then there is the whole 'it's a free site' issue. Ultimately the site has to generate money to keep itself afloat. I have no idea whether it is profitable or if it just pays for itself, but like any business, costs must be balanced with benefits. I guess someone somewhere has done the maths and decided filtering out findommes won't increase the income to the site and so isn't worth doing it. Not to mention, they are sending a message that 'your kink is not ok' to a chunk of the users.
Ultimately that's what a lot of these rants come down to - your kink is not OK, especially since yours is everywhere and I can't seem to get mine. I understand the frustration. I just think that unfortunately they often come across as just lashing out like a toddler instead of taking a grown up attitude. These rants are often posted very soon after someone joins (so arguably couldn't have expected to find a partner so soon anyway) and so have little understanding of the culture of the boards and the fact that their ideas have been regularly discussed. Kind of like walking into a social club and not taking some time to figure out how things work before starting on a rant. Often they then descend into name calling, accusations of being intolerant, and flouncing.
Yes they can complain about what they want, just as other posters can complain about their complaint.
_____________________________
Being your slave, what should I do but tend
Upon the hours and times of your desire?
|
RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread