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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/12/2013 9:40:17 PM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
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quote:

ORIGINAL: czarski

About right, 80 percent of "dominant women" here are financially motivated. Fine. Fine with me. But make them easily identifiable. Can be done. Should be done. Sometimes I spend half an hour going through money-domme profiles because bumping into a genuine domme. And then half an hour of other cash-seekers. Surely many folks have quit the site because of that. That's what I'll do.

I love how bc I am a fin domme, I'm not genuine,lol.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/12/2013 9:48:49 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub
I'm leaving this spot. Peace out folks. I'm a sexy ass dude and I ain't taking no more shit from you. All you do is bring me down to make yourselves feel better but I shall no longer take this. You jabronies don't know me! Where I came from! How I grew up or shit! Yet you have the damn audacity to try and put me down you selfish pricks? Well fuck that! Ban me dammit cause I just don't give a fuck. You all can go suck a dick..

Since you've been here, you've constantly complained about your lack of success. You were given advice on how to improve your chances. You complained some more.

I know you think you're all that but if this is how you behave when people try to help you, I'd suggest you think again. Like it or not, you're just another person who joined the site and guess what? There will be another 100 guys who sign up tomorrow and check the submissive box. If you thought this was the instantaneous way to find a Dominant woman, you were seriously mistaken.

Yet again, another young man who checked the submissive box and displays the impatience of youth and acts poorly when what he wants isn't handed to him.

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Post #: 42

RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/12/2013 9:57:14 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

I'm leaving this spot. Peace out folks. I'm a sexy ass dude and I ain't taking no more shit from you. All you do is bring me down to make yourselves feel better but I shall no longer take this. You jabronies don't know me! Where I came from! How I grew up or shit! Yet you have the damn audacity to try and put me down you selfish pricks? Well fuck that! Ban me dammit cause I just don't give a fuck. You all can go suck a dick..

WTF?

You complained that you were having hard time finding a Domme. So the forum folks made suggestions. Evidently that wasn't what you wanted.

May I ask what you DID want? Sympathy and advice not to change a thing?

BTW, one problem you have is that you've only been here five days.

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Post #: 43

RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/12/2013 10:08:15 PM

czarski

Posts: 24
Joined: 12/29/2012
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With those muscles, man, you WILL have more success off line. You will attract more attention just walking down the street than by sending a hundred messages here. This site gives men the very minimal chance, unless you are willing to pay, - mostly because the unfavorable male-to-female ratio. Most males will NEVER find a female partner here - there are simply not enough females. Arithmetic. Yes, you are sexy, and good luck.

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Post #: 44

RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/12/2013 10:21:44 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

@Athena, I have no gripe with any truly dominant woman no matter how she dominates, my issue is that it's caused the domme area to become extremely saturated. I can try all day and maybe possibly have a chance of meeting a domme next week(no problem btw), but I can pay maybe 100 Findoms in five minutes if I so chose to because they are EVERYWHERE.

I didn't bother to read the whole thread, because I know what it says; basically a lot of support of findommes.

Here's the thing. You are a 21 year old male, so you are probably looking for a female somewhere within reasonable range of your age. There is nothing wrong with that at all. However, the majority of findommes who are just little girls thinking findomme is a way to make a quick buck fall within your age range, so of course you are going to come across a good deal of scammers.

Others may disagree with my opinion on that, but the reality is that it is a fact.

What does this mean for you? It is going to be harder for you to find the right dominant woman for YOU. I did see one comment that should be helpful to you. absolutchocolat (a very wise woman, by the way) has given you some good advice. Go to a munch, or a play party. You will meet more people who aren't in it just for the money. There are also TNG groups which you should focus on since it is for the younger crowd. Put some clothes on young man! Just like the women, if you lead with your body, it's harder for people to take you seriously as a person.

Block and hide. Yep, it's going to be a lot more work for you than for some other submissive males, but in the end it will be worth it. You joined less than a week ago, do you really expect to find your perfect mate that quickly? I certainly hope not. So you are going to have to go through a lot of profiles that are bullshit to find the few in your age range that might be a fit for you.

I will say that throwing a tantrum isn't a good thing. Your first post was about something we see complaints about every other day from submissive males, most of which are just mad because they want some chick to be their personal fetish delivery system and give nothing in return.

You should stick around a bit. I see you say in your profile that you know who you are, and that's good, but you are also very young, so you still have a lot to learn about BDSM whether you want to hear it or not.

But if you decide to stay, don't throw any more tantrums.

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Post #: 45

RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/12/2013 10:36:46 PM

seekingreality

Posts: 599
Joined: 8/11/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

It seems that 8/10 dommes here are all about money. There's nothing wrong with serving your Mistress with your wallet amongst other things, as a true sub seeks to please his domme any way possible. I feel,however, that Findom takes away the integrity of our lifestyle and attracts the wrong women/scammers. If I message 30 dommes right now, 25 will say something along the lines of: tribute me, send me amazon giftcards, etc. They don't care who you are, or if you're even submissive, as long as you tribute. It's like prostitution without having sex which attracts any attractive girl to make a profile and demand money as if they're dominant. Femdom is turning more into a business venture than a lifestyle and that's not good for young subs just entering the lifestlye. I'm not bashing Collerme, or even Findom. Findom used correctly, gives the Mistress ultimate control which I believe in. But the effect its had: fakes, scammers, picture stealing, and women looking for a quick payday is not good for us true subs and dommes.

I don't believe in the notion of "community" in regards to BDSM. I am not interested in findommes and see through them in a second. I don't see the scammers being a problem unless you are an idiot who falls for the scammers or you get frustrated by the scammers because you are unable to find someone real. But yeah there are a lot of scammers on CM. If that bothers you just don't come here.

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Post #: 46

RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 12:36:26 AM

absolutchocolat

Posts: 1392
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Thanks LL! Very nice of you to say about me.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 12:54:01 AM

Rasnow

Posts: 53
Joined: 8/30/2010
From: La La Land
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

I'm leaving this spot. Peace out folks. I'm a sexy ass dude and I ain't taking no more shit from you. All you do is bring me down to make yourselves feel better but I shall no longer take this. You jabronies don't know me! Where I came from! How I grew up or shit! Yet you have the damn audacity to try and put me down you selfish pricks? Well fuck that! Ban me dammit cause I just don't give a fuck. You all can go suck a dick..

You're adorable :D

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 8:11:35 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
Status: offline

quote:

You jabronies don't know me! Where I came from! How I grew up or shit!

Nor do we care, Princess.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 8:13:43 AM

searching4mysir

Posts: 2757
Joined: 6/16/2011
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub
I'm leaving this spot. Peace out folks. I'm a sexy ass dude and I ain't taking no more shit from you. All you do is bring me down to make yourselves feel better but I shall no longer take this. You jabronies don't know me! Where I came from! How I grew up or shit! Yet you have the damn audacity to try and put me down you selfish pricks? Well fuck that! Ban me dammit cause I just don't give a fuck. You all can go suck a dick..

Since you've been here, you've constantly complained about your lack of success. You were given advice on how to improve your chances. You complained some more.

I know you think you're all that but if this is how you behave when people try to help you, I'd suggest you think again. Like it or not, you're just another person who joined the site and guess what? There will be another 100 guys who sign up tomorrow and check the submissive box. If you thought this was the instantaneous way to find a Dominant woman, you were seriously mistaken.

Yet again, another young man who checked the submissive box and displays the impatience of youth and acts poorly when what he wants isn't handed to him.

I blame it on when they started the "everyone gets a trophy" bullshit on children's sports teams. God forbid a child is taught that not everyone can win or get what they want.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 8:59:29 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

Yeah, 99 Findoms for every one lifestyle domme is still not attractive and there's many who agree with this. Maybe if there were a better verification system cause every message I get is about skype or aim and then paying for a site, or just paying them flatout. You have your opinions and I have mine, I'd just rather not have to use my credit card to have a damn conversation with a domme.

If that's the case then you should get out into your community and attend events. Volunteer your time and show them that you are sincere in wanting to serve. Posting on here and whining about findommes is not going to do you any good, it will only make you look like a whiney little boy.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:09:45 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

Everyone just keeps sandbagging me. Why? You can't touch me! You can't get me fired!

You poor little thing. Boy they really are picking on you today, aren't they. Maybe you should go take a nap and then come back and reread some of the replies. There were a lot of good suggestions in there that could help you if you got that chip off your shoulder and listened.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:22:13 AM

LoyalBlackSub

Posts: 15
Joined: 5/7/2013
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Lol, me "complaining" has gotten me more responses from real people in a day then I've ever gotten on the other side. Thank you.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:32:20 AM

SeekingTrinity

Posts: 1834
Joined: 5/29/2012
From: The 'burbs of Portland, OR
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~FRing it~

And yet acting like a pissy spoiled brat still hasn't gotten you what it is you say you are looking for either. Ceasing the expectation of instant gratification and deflating that massively overinflated ego would work better than throwing a tantrum. But maybe that is asking too much of you?

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:34:54 AM

godismaria

Posts: 5
Joined: 4/20/2013
From: manila
Status: offline

we are all been into bad sides of searching.but that is the risk we should take thru online.most people on the site met scammers and i met lots or perverts.some people use the site to get money some are using to find their lovers.that is not good..and not all people who ask about money is scammer..

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:52:24 AM

curious23

Posts: 59
Joined: 12/8/2011
Status: offline

If I may say something, what we have here is a guy with a sense of entitlement. He thinks that, because of what he feels he offers, he should have no problem finding someone who takes immediate interest in him. Difficulty finding someone happens to 'other' people. So do cancer and car crashes. So if he's having a hard time, something must be wrong with the system. The world is unfair and must change because something is clearly wrong with it when he-that's right HE- is treated just like every other guy out there and is forced to face the reality that finding a compatible soul isn't easy for ANYONE.

Have I about got it?

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:53:06 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

Lol, me "complaining" has gotten me more responses from real people in a day then I've ever gotten on the other side. Thank you.

I lived in west Oakland for years, in an area called the "Lower Bottom." For about half the people I knew there, they had nothing but respect. If you took respect away, they had nothing at all. Just about the worst thing you could do to someone was to treat them as though they were lower than you, or didn't exist.

I'm sure it doesn't feel good if you write women and they never write you back, or if you only receive messages from "women" who treat you like an easy mark. But please listen to me. Real talk. Your "jabroni" post only gives power to the kind of person who uses phrases like, "You know how those people are...." You're giving your power away to the backward and ignorant when you go off like that, instead of giving your power to a woman you adore. You really need to get a handle on that, no matter who you are or where you're from. Don't do any favors for people who want reasons to look down at you.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 9:58:44 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: curious23
If I may say something, what we have here is a guy with a sense of entitlement. He thinks that, because of what he feels he offers, he should have no problem finding someone who takes immediate interest in him. Difficulty finding someone happens to 'other' people. So do cancer and car crashes. So if he's having a hard time, something must be wrong with the system. The world is unfair and must change because something is clearly wrong with it when he-that's right HE- is treated just like every other guy out there and is forced to face the reality that finding a compatible soul isn't easy for ANYONE.

Have I about got it?

Obviously I can't be sure, based on a handful of posts on the internet, but my read is different, almost the mirror image of what you just said. More like, "The deck's been stacked against me so many times, and here's yet another fucking example." People tend to see what they are used to seeing.

The "I'm so entitled" people try to convince everyone else why they are right and the rest of the world is stupid. It's a different vibe, at least in my experience.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 10:08:31 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: LoyalBlackSub

Lol, me "complaining" has gotten me more responses from real people in a day then I've ever gotten on the other side. Thank you.

Well...there are some people that are attracted by whining and flouncing. You did a great job on both.

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RE: Findom makes it hard for subs. - 5/13/2013 10:09:22 AM

curious23

Posts: 59
Joined: 12/8/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: curious23
If I may say something, what we have here is a guy with a sense of entitlement. He thinks that, because of what he feels he offers, he should have no problem finding someone who takes immediate interest in him. Difficulty finding someone happens to 'other' people. So do cancer and car crashes. So if he's having a hard time, something must be wrong with the system. The world is unfair and must change because something is clearly wrong with it when he-that's right HE- is treated just like every other guy out there and is forced to face the reality that finding a compatible soul isn't easy for ANYONE.

Have I about got it?

Obviously I can't be sure, based on a handful of posts on the internet, but my read is different, almost the mirror image of what you just said. More like, "The deck's been stacked against me so many times, and here's yet another fucking example." People tend to see what they are used to seeing.

The "I'm so entitled" people try to convince everyone else why they are right and the rest of the world is stupid. It's a different vibe, at least in my experience.

The "deck's-been-stacked-against-me-and-here's-why" crowd appear to look for attention and pity after telling everyone about their hardships and would eat every last one of these replies up because everyone has given him the benefit of the doubt and have been nothing but nice to him. The "I'm so entitled" crowd only want others to agree with their point of view about experiences that irk them and when they don't get it, they get angry and ragequit (but don't REALLY quit) like our friend here. At least this is my opinion.

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