quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682

I have seen subs in the past with similar questions.I do know the finals answers always rest with my Domme.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The best that I can do is give you some opinions from My perspective. Maybe they will give you some things to think about or even topics to bring up with your Domme.

1. First and foremost, be a good human being. Don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal, don't be an unproductive member of society, don't be untrustworthy..... No, I probably don't have to tell you that but consider for a moment how many people list some of those very reasons for why their last dynamic ended.

2. Learn how to have healthy relationships. This goes for everything from being dedicated to healthy communication to avoiding things like emotional blackmail and manipulative tactics. Start looking at the other relationships that you have in your life. Friends, family, co-workers, etc. Take a deep look and examine how healthy they are and if they aren't, do you have a role to play in that? Work on any areas that might need improvement.

3. Don't be A submissive. Be HER submissive. Fit your submission to her personally. If she likes leather toys and outfits, learn about leather care. If she likes baseball, be willing to talk to her about it or learn about the sport. Ask her how she would best appreciate your submission/service and do those things. Here's the other side of this. Don't serve her ( ) by taking away the things that she likes to do. If she likes to do her own gardening, don't decide you're "helping" her by doing it for her. Then, you are taking joy out of her life, rather than bringing joy into it.

4. Remember that her world is not entirely about you. Your submission should be a positive thing in her life, but not the only thing. She has friends, family, hobbies, personal time that she just wants quiet, etc. This is the difference between submission and smothering.

5. Keep the reverse as well. Have hobbies, interests, and friends of your own. This makes you a more well rounded human being and therefore, a greater benefit to her. Have you ever noticed how many threads we have where women say they don't want to have to carry the whole conversation? This is a part of that. Be interesting! Have things to contribute when you are talking.


There's more to the list, of course. Maybe that will be a starting point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

The best that I can do is give you some opinions from My perspective. Maybe they will give you some things to think about or even topics to bring up with your Domme.

1. First and foremost, be a good human being. Don't lie, don't cheat, don't steal, don't be an unproductive member of society, don't be untrustworthy..... No, I probably don't have to tell you that but consider for a moment how many people list some of those very reasons for why their last dynamic ended.

2. Learn how to have healthy relationships. This goes for everything from being dedicated to healthy communication to avoiding things like emotional blackmail and manipulative tactics. Start looking at the other relationships that you have in your life. Friends, family, co-workers, etc. Take a deep look and examine how healthy they are and if they aren't, do you have a role to play in that? Work on any areas that might need improvement.

3. Don't be A submissive. Be HER submissive. Fit your submission to her personally. If she likes leather toys and outfits, learn about leather care. If she likes baseball, be willing to talk to her about it or learn about the sport. Ask her how she would best appreciate your submission/service and do those things. Here's the other side of this. Don't serve her ( ) by taking away the things that she likes to do. If she likes to do her own gardening, don't decide you're "helping" her by doing it for her. Then, you are taking joy out of her life, rather than bringing joy into it.

4. Remember that her world is not entirely about you. Your submission should be a positive thing in her life, but not the only thing. She has friends, family, hobbies, personal time that she just wants quiet, etc. This is the difference between submission and smothering.

5. Keep the reverse as well. Have hobbies, interests, and friends of your own. This makes you a more well rounded human being and therefore, a greater benefit to her. Have you ever noticed how many threads we have where women say they don't want to have to carry the whole conversation? This is a part of that. Be interesting! Have things to contribute when you are talking.


There's more to the list, of course. Maybe that will be a starting point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Born2PleezeU

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

4. Remember that her world is not entirely about you. Your submission should be a positive thing in her life, but not the only thing. She has friends, family, hobbies, personal time that she just wants quiet, etc. This is the difference between submission and smothering.

Thank you for sharing this, LadyPact. These are all great pointers, but #4 especially is something I need to be always mindful of. I need to imprint this on my brain, lol.

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ORIGINAL: lionbaby

The best way to become a better submissive?

Find a dominant who is true to you; who moves, thrills, inspires and overwhelms you. One who is loyal and dependable. Who knows what he's doing.

You'll be a better submissive pretty much on the first meeting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Charles6682
Thank you everybody for your advice.LadyPact,especially thank you for that list.I think that is a wonderful place to start.I do respect your opinions,LadyPact.In fact,it was something you said awhile ago that got my "wheels turning" about asking Her to be my Domme.The everything else has fallen into place well,since.I am trying to mostly sit back and read the advice here.But I did want to thank you for your advice,LadyPact.